family line by conan gray is soo good... and it basically matches the story, so have a listen to it!
also i just wanted to share this meme i found on pinterest
It was a perfectly ecstatic day with blooming tulips and smiles plastered on everyone's faces. The air was serene and peaceful, the sky was clear and the atmosphere was nothing but joy. 'What a sight for someone that belonged to such an atrocious family', I thought, sceptical if this moment could last forever and the carefree manner I lived in previously would exist for the rest of my life. If only I had cherished these gleeful moments even further.
Estrada. That name was not my first name, but hung around my back like a tag for everyone to view and judge me based on this single word. My blood was sinful and this despicable existence suffocated me although I had no right to complain when compared to the older Estrada members who had suffered a hundred times more.
Since father had countless wives that were lined up in an endless line to entertain him, there were also an infinite number of children that inherited his blood waiting to someday be acknowledged by him. I, however, only had one biological younger brother who grew up with me years before, as well as my older half-sister who we met coincidentally a few years back. As of now, I was currently keeping watch of the two playing beside the old lemon tree on a hill that never actually bore fruit, it was as good as dead. Their jovial expressions smeared amid their pale faces was a sight that encouraged myself to beam as well. Simultaneously, I flipped to the next page of the dusty book which sat comfortably on my lap, that I had picked up a few days ago from the family library. The two dashed over to my spot as if something major had occurred.
"Sister Sia, what are you looking at?" Ryan, my younger brother that was born three years later than me, asked innocently. Although my proper name was Malisia Estrada, the people I was close with called me different shortened names, which were supposedly called 'nick-names'. His short, curly silver-white hair was flowing to the side as a result from the gust of wind, his crystal blue eyes sparkling with curiosity. The two physical features were the common appearances of a typical Estrada member, as I had also inherited this look. Being a vulnerable and moody fourteen-year old, I brushed off his words at first then sighed heavily after.
"Nothing, just reading a book. You can keep playing with Shirley." I bluntly responded, too busy reading the climax of the book. The heroine in the book who happened to be an irregular was preparing to blow a fatal attack at the main antagonist, while spitting out some inspirational words that touched my heart. 'I don't care if you hurt me, but if you lay a finger on my friends then your sin is already done...!' I read carefully as my mind was occupied with what was about to happen next. My heart was thumping aggressively but I tried to hide my excitement from the content of the book to keep a composed attitude. After all, my training as an Estrada had greatly affected my behaviour and even the way I thought of everyday objects. I often wondered about the existence of the tower. I had always perceived the tower as some sort of place that gave one freedom and wishes, like explained in the other stories.
"Clearly, you're not doing nothing. You just said yourself that you were reading a book." Shirley, my beloved half-sister snickered jokingly and joined in the conversation. Her wavy, long hair was let loose like a real princess while mine in comparison, was messily tied up into a bun with loose strands of white hair falling out with every movement. Annoyed, my glare quickly reached her grin and soon after the atmosphere became normal once again after chuckles from their mouths were let out.
"Jokes, jokes. I just need to get back in the house for last-minute training. You know, the once a month exam I have to take to impress father." Her eyes drooped downwards, anxious about what was to follow. While Shirley's mother - Aldeen, suggested that impressing father with our skills was the most beautiful thing an Estrada child could do, my own mother, Ece, believed that killing was an unnecessary order. Ece was the type of woman that would never dare to harm anything living or get blood on her hands. For this sole reason, she was shunned by the other wives for being 'weak' or 'afraid' of seeing a corpse.
Our family was somewhat similar to the 'traditions' of the Khun family. We were both ordered to kill each other, and for what? A medal? A title? The difference in our state was that the Estrada family was a secretive and unknown family with foggy intentions towards Jahad and others.
I closed my book in disappointment and sighed heavily, and stood up from my spot to meet their eye level. "Right, got it. I'll bring Ryan back to our place so you can scurry away. Good luck on the exam." Shirley smiled happily as her eyes lit up and departed. How Ryan and I met Shirley was as clear as day. The two of us were cheerily playing hide and seek in the garden, and happened to notice that somebody had been stalking us with desperate eyes that didn't walk away. I observed this girl who seemed only a year older than me to investigate her actions, but couldn't feel an ounce of harm from her. I remembered telling her to come out of the bushes and she joyfully explained that she wanted to be friends with us, or specifically, me. And that was Shirley, who also happened to be one of our half-siblings.
"Thanks, Mali. Also... father told me to remind all the Estrada children about the 'competition'. You should get ready, too..."
Ah. The competition. The competition was a despicable event that occurred every five years and involved the lives of all Estrada children aged eleven until fifteen. They would all be placed in a blank room with terror-like emptiness and be forced to kill one another until only one survivor remained. This cruel event was simply to separate the strong to the weak in the Estrada family, but also for the pure entertainment for the elders. Did they all laugh as each being turned into corpses? Why was no-one doing anything? I thought, wondering if cruelty was indeed naturally running through every Estrada's blood. This year was the year of the competition - meaning that it was also the year where many lives would be stolen for a mere competition.
Ryan froze on the spot like a statue and coldness could clearly be sensed.
"Y-You mean the competition where all the Estrada children... k-kill each other? But since I'm also in the age range, wouldn't that mean..."
I was prepared for what he was about to say. "...It would mean that all three of us would be involved, yes. So, let's run away so that we don't have to kill each-other and live in peace!"
Shirley was immediately stunned and looked anxious and perplexed. "Mali! Absolutely not! Is it not better to die as a proud Estrada than live on as a runaway child with a wanted death and a tag attached to you everywhere you go? Besides, if someone heard what you just said, it would already be the end of you this instant!"
I knew that. But I couldn't further bare the pain of witnessing and letting a person, let alone a child die right in front of me. I was sick of the blood stains on my hands, I was sick of the screaming and cries even though I was one of those that screamed and cried their heads off. In truth, it was like that for all Estrada children. I thought that Shirley out of all people would understand my words. I guessed not.
While Ryan looked as if tears were about to fall down like a waterfall, Shirley looked nervous and mentally confused. "...See you next time." she said as she walked off, knees all wobbly.
"Ryan, you can go back to our place. I need to clear my mind for a bit." I said with a fake smile and he obeyed obediently while his head dropped. And finally I was alone.
Or so I thought.
"Sia! Is what you said true!" A familiar voice reached out from behind, surprising me as my eyes bulged open. This soothing but anxious voice belonged to no other than my mother, Ece. Her silky black hair was let loose as it flowed with the wind, while her emerald green eyes beamed signs of worry. Although we were directly blood related, there was no resemblance other than our crystal pupils that shone even in the dark - it had some sort of bewitching sense to it, and something about our eyes, although a different colour, had some sort of... presence.
"M-Mother?!" I couldn't believe my eyes. My own mother had caught me speaking words that could potentially harm my reputation devastatingly, my only hope was that her usual kind behaviour would still remain even in this kind of situation.
"Answer me, Sia! Are you truly planning to run away?" There were now tears in her eyes, at the brim of dripping down to her cheeks. Her eyes almost looked as if they were red from her fury, and all I could do was gape in fear and anxiousness that never ceased in this moment.
"Y-Yes, Mother..." I stuttered as tears fell from my eyes because I could do nothing but cry in this instant.
"Sia..." She showed signs of comfort and seemed understanding, and my heart began to pace slower than before. But what she said next immediately caught me off guard. "You must not run away. You can't."
"Huh?" Where did the carefree nature of my mother go to? Then, she began to utter words which I couldn't comprehend clearly - they were words that should have never been said by my usually kind mother.
"I sacrificed everything to become the wife of your father. I betrayed my parents, siblings, everyone who I knew before, just to take this spot. And if you run away... then my title will be instantly stripped, and who knows - my head might even be cut off." Sacrificed? Betrayed? Mother, what really happened to you in the past?
"Where's mother! Mother will never say something that gruesome! Bring her back."
"Sia, you don't understand."
"I DO UNDERSTAND!"
"You do not."
"MOTHER, I DO UNDERSTAND!"
"Are you screaming at your mother?"
Her last sentence was the one that shut me up instantly. I had never screamed at her before in this way. Angered yet confused, I bowed my head downwards and watched her lower her gaze at me. Those eyes were not ones of comfort, nor sympathy. They were rage and fury that inhabited her eyes at this moment. Cold, disdainful glares that no longer fit her previous warm self.
"...I will be informing your father about this." She stated bluntly then turned her head around.
"No!!" I panted heavily as I raised my hands upwards so that it faced the sky while my wrist stayed vertical. Tears were heavy and my heart converted into a colossal black-hole that sucked up the joy in the atmosphere. Please don't... Please.
"I'll do anything!" I muttered, tears still flowing heavily. My word caught her attention, and her eyes sparked with excitement.
"Anything, you say..." I nodded shamelessly, wondering if all of this was just a dream.
"Win the competition against the Estrada children. Then I'll help you run away without getting you caught by the rest of the family members."
I was dumbfounded. It was well-known that my mother, aka Ece, hated anything gruesome or cruel - yet she was ordering her precious daughter to enter the already mandatory competition, and WIN, which meant that I had to kill all the rest of the children. My tears became frozen in place and my eyes bulged with shock, all while a smile was placed on her face. I had rather died than kill all the Estrada children who would be involved in the competition.
She chuckled and bluntly uttered the next words. "Sia, do you know how I came this far? It's because everybody underestimated me. They thought I would do no harm to them, thinking I was too vulnerable and weak. Say, do you know how your father's first wife, Esme, died?"
I hesitantly mumbled, "She suffered from a heart-attack."
She shook her head in delight. "No, my dear." I was perplexed, I thought it was clear that Esme died from a heart-attack. Since Esme actually took care of me and was kind to everyone, her death took a toll on my heart too - which was why I did everything to investigate her death. I was certain it was from a heart-attack, the signs, the position of the corpse, every detail lead to a heart-attack.
"I killed her."
My body froze, trembling to discover my mother's true side.
"So, now answer my question. Do you accept my deal?" Her eyes sparkled with evil.
"...Okay."
"Good, now be a good girl and get training."
***