"All right, let's, uh, let's gather around," Mr. Schue said as he came into the choir room. "Sorry I'm late. I was with Principal Figgins." He sighed as he sat down. "Bad news, guys. Puckerman's in juvie."
"How did this not happen sooner?" Autumn asked.
"It really was just a matter of time," Tina agreed.
"What did he do?" Quinn asked.
"He drove his mom's Volvo through the front of a convenience store and drove off with the ATM," said Mr. Schue.
"Idiota," Naomi chuckled. "Anyone know how he made it to junior year?"
"When is he getting out?" Rachel asked.
"Unknown," Mr. Schue said, furrowing his brows.
"He might be the dumbest person on this planet, and that's coming from me," Brittany chuckled.
"Guys! Let's have some sympathy."
"For a guy who put his needs before the team's?" Finn scoffed. "We need his voice and his bad boy stage presence."
"We can't look at this as a crisis," said Mr. Schue. "It's an opportunity."
"For what?" Quinn asked. "Further embarrassment and humiliation?"
"For welcoming our new member... Sam Evans!"
A boy with blonde hair jogged into the choir room. He smiled dorkily at the class. "Hey, everybody. I'm Sam... Sam, I am... And I don't like green eggs and ham."
"Oh, wow," Santana sighed, shaking her head. "He has no game."
"Okay! This is gonna be great," Finn said as he got up and approached the blonde boy. "You're not going to regret joining, Sam."
Both boys sat down as Mr. Schue went over and wrote 'duet' on the board.
"Alright," the teacher began. "Question for the group. What's a duet?"
"A blanket," said Brittany.
"No, Britt, that's a duvet," Autumn said, sending her friend a small smile from the other side of the room.
"Yeah, that's what I said."
"A duet is when two voices join to become one," Mr. Schue explained. "Great duets are like a great marriage. The singers complement each other, push each other to be better. And that is what duets are all about. So, this week I want you to pair up and sing a duet. And, since you guys all seemed to love our little Defying Gravity diva-off, I'm making this a competition."
"What does the winner get?" Mike asked.
"Dinner for two, on me... at Breadstix."
Everyone gasped and exchanged excited looks with one another.
"Wait, Mr. Schue," Rachel spoke up as she looked around the room. "There's an uneven amount of people in the class."
"Oh, well, I guess we'll just have to have a group of three then," said Mr. Schue. "There. Problem solved."
Naomi sighed as everyone discussed who they were going to partner up with and what song they were going to sing. As expected, she was the odd one out.
Typical.
****
Rachel and Autumn were in the choir room rehearsing their duet, Don't Go Breaking My Heart. Their voices blended together in perfect harmony, much like their relationship.
"We're totally going to win this thing," Autumn said when the song was over.
"I know," Rachel mumbled, lowering her gaze as she sat down.
"Hey, don't be sad," the cheerleader said as she sat down next to her girlfriend. "I mean, Breadstix has these vegan meatballs, they're... they're okay, I guess."
"I'm not really a nice person," the diva said. "I'm selfish. The fact is, I'm only really generous if there's something in it for me."
"Yeah, but I still like you," Autumn shrugged. "And you're not as bad as you think. You're caring, and there are times when you put others first."
"But you're so... kind, and open, and it's made me want to be a better person," said Rachel. She thought it over for a minute before saying, "We have to throw the competition."
"Wait, what?"
"If we wanna win at nationals, then Sam has to win this contest. Okay? He has to feel like he belongs, and the team has to believe in him."
"But, we do believe in him... I think. I mean, he just joined, but he hasn't given us any reason not to believe in him," said Autumn. "But technically you're doing this because it'll help us win nationals, which means there's something in it for you, so it doesn't really count as you doing something nice."
"Okay, so I'm just gonna ignore what you just said," said Rachel. "Repeat what I said before. We just have to find a way for me to lose a singing competition so that the new kid sticks around."
"Right."
****
Naomi put her things away in her locker before closing it and walking down the hall. She ran a hand through her long brunette locks, sighing as she thought about the duets project.
She was pulled by her thoughts when a cold, blue slushie was tossed in her face. She gasped, and reached her hands up to wipe the slush off.
"Where's your sister, Mini Mouse?" Azimio teasingly asked. "No one to protect you when she's not around."
The bully walked away, leaving Naomi alone in the empty hallway, except for a certain blonde who had seen everything.
She gently reached a hand out to touch her shoulder, making the smaller girl jump and take a few steps back.
"St-stay away from me," Naomi said, protectively wrapping her arms around her numb body. "I can't trust you."
"I just want to help," Quinn said, taking a small step towards her ex-best friend's half sister. "Will you let me?"
Naomi looked the older girl up and down for a moment before hesitantly taking the hand that she was holding out to her and allowing her to lead her to the Cheerios locker room.
"Oh my god," Autumn gasped, her jaw dropping when Quinn and Naomi came into the locker room.
"What the hell happened?" Santana asked as she grabbed a towel and went over to Naomi, Autumn following close behind with a change of clothes she kept in her locker.
"It was the big dummy," Naomi said as Santana poured some water from her bottle onto the towel and gently wiped the younger girl's face.
"Karofsky?" Autumn asked.
"No, the other one."
"Azimio," said Quinn.
"He's dead," Autumn said as she stormed to the door of the locker room.
"Autumn, no," Quinn said, grabbing the brunette's arm. "He's not worth it."
"Besides, you're like 5 foot 1," Santana added as she led Naomi over to the showers to rinse the slushie out of her long locks. "He's, like, triple your weight, and he's stronger than you."
"He can't just slushie my sister and think he can get away with it!" Autumn snapped as she yanked her arm away from Quinn. "Don't touch me."
"Auttie..." the blonde sighed.
"Don't call me that," the shorter girl mumbled. "You haven't earned that right back yet."
Autumn went over to where Santana and Naomi were having a conversation in Spanish as the older Latina washed the slushie out of the younger girl's hair. She set the change of clothes down on the bench and nodded to them when Santana looked in her direction before collecting her things and leaving the locker room to give Azimio a piece of her mind.
****
The whole Glee Club sat in awe as Santana, Mercedes, and Naomi performed River Deep, Mountain High. The trio's voices blended together perfectly, and they looked like they were having the time of their lives performing.
Everyone cheered as the song ended, and Santana high-fived Naomi and Mercedes.
"Ladies, nice work!" Mr. Schue exclaimed. "What an incredible song!"
"And just so you know, I've already bought custom bibs for me, Nomi, and Mercedes here," said Santana. "You know why? Cause we's be going..."
"To Breadstix!" the three girl's exclaimed at the same time before high-fiving again.
"You hear that, guys?" Mr. Schue asked. "You have your work cut out for you."
****
Autumn watched from her bed as Rachel paced back and forth, biting her nail. Throwing the competition was turning out to be a lot harder than expected.
"This is a disaster," Rachel finally said.
"Could you stop pacing?" Autumn sighed as she swung her legs over the edge of the bed. "It's stressing me out."
"It's just, being the 'it couple' is so much harder than I thought. I am so stumped at how to lose this thing!"
Autumn thought about it for a moment before remembering something from summer break.
"Wait, I got it," the cheerleader said. "You remember we saw Grease and it was good, and then we saw Grease 2, and I fell asleep with my head on your shoulder? You said the difference was that the songs–"
"Were bad," Rachel gasped, an idea forming in her mind. "That's it! If we want to lose, we have to do a song that's bad."
"And not just a bad song... an offensive song."
****
The New Directions watched with confused, disterbed, and offended looks as Rachel and Autumn sang With You I'm Born Again, the taller of the two dressed as an older religious figure while the shorter was dressed as a Catholic school girl.
"This isn't happening," Mercedes mumbled, placing a hand over Naomi's eyes.
There was an awkward silence as the song ended. Mike attempted to clap politely, but Tina grabbed his hands and shook her head.
"Okay, do I even need to say it?" Mercedes asked, uncovering Naomi's eyes.
"That was really rude," said Sam.
"Like... really rude," Tina agreed.
"I seriously wanted to punch both of you," Quinn mumbled as she looked between the two brunettes.
"I have to agree," said Mr. Schue. "It's a great duet, but what you guys did with it was really inappropriate. Your costume choice was a little insensitive. Frankly... I'm disappointed."
"What?!" Rachel gasped, faking being outraged.
"Are you serious?" Autumn asked, pretending to sound disappointed. "I'm..."
"Shocked."
"Shocked."
"We're... we're shocked," Rachel said as she put an arm around her girlfriend. "I-I really hope that this doesn't cost us the competition."
Autumn and Rachel sat back down, and Naomi slowly turned her head to look at them, a mixture of shock and horror written across her face.
"Well, getting back on track, who's next?" Mr. Schue asked as Sam and Quinn got up.
"Okay, I just want to say I'm really excited, and that I couldn't have asked for a better partner," Sam said as he got his guitar.
The two blondes began to sing Lucky. Frustrations with the head Cheerio aside, Autumn had to admit that her voice sounded really good with Sam's.
"So freakin' charming," Santana scoffed.
"I hate couples," Naomi grumbed, crossing her arms over her chest and sinking down lower in her chair.
****
It was time to vote for the winners of the duet competition. Autumn and Rachel voted for Sam and Quinn as part of their plan to help the new boy feel like he belonged in the group, and Naomi voted for her, Santana, and Mercedes.
"Well, even though it looks like just about everyone voted for themselves, we do have a winner," Mr. Schue said after he counted the votes. "And the winner is... by two votes... Sam and Quinn!"
"What?! What?!" Santana yelled, jumping up. "Screw that, I want my 'stix!"
"Let it go," Mercedes said as she and Naomi grabbed her arms and pulled her back.