as bill suggested, I caught up on some well-needed rest and then decided to get up earlier in the morning to help bill with set-up only to discover that ford was already standing in my hallway.
that was very uh... interesting to come across.
also, Loki was crawling around ford looking like if he wasn't made of gold he would have been choked to death by him.
how fun!
after that I decided, I was going to hide behind the grandfather clock that was in the room. because turns out, bill made another one of those weird pocket worlds behind that clock that way I would be safe in case of a raid or if one of the demons went haywire. The best part? only bill and I can enter or else you will be eaten alive by thousands of flying coats that attack you like bees.
I came up with the coat idea.
I moved the second hand to 8 then 9 then 3 then to 4 and then the clock opened up like a magical bookshelf from thousands of those random movies (fun fact! those are an actual thing! I'm pretty sure they are called murphy doors). I got into place and waited for ford's statue to unfreeze.
slowly but surely, from head to toe the gold in ford's body faded away. "LET ME GO YOU INSANE THREE SIDED- w-what is this place?" ford asked looking around then bill hit the piano and started to appear out of nowhere. ford began to struggle against his chain after noticing it.
"we'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when~ oh I know we'll meet again some sunny day~!" bill sang as I tried my hardest not to clap and give away my location as I wanted to frighten ford or at least mildly scare him.
"where am I?" ford asks.
"you're in the penthouse sweet kid, tip of the pyramid." bill snapped his fingers "have a drink! make yourself comfortable" bill stated, taking a sip of his own drink while ford sat down onto my couch. "Yanno that couch is make from living human skin?" bill stated after swallowing his drink.
"Ahh!" ford exclaimed, hopping off of the couch. "Quit the games cipher! if I'm still alive you must want something from me!" ford accused, pointing a finger at bill defensively.
"Ahh, sharp as every fordsy! as you may have noticed I have recently had a multi-dimensional make over." bill states, spinning around in a circle. "I control space!" bill floats the objects around him, completely messing up my room layout. "Matter!" he states, shifting all the object's places. "And now that that dumb baby is out of the way, time itself!" bill finishes, shaking his drink like a mad man at ford. "But I wasn't always this way..." bill trails off, snapping his fingers and all the objects stop floating leaving all my furniture on the opposite sides of the room that they were. "You think those chains are tight? imagine living in the 2nd dimension! flat minds in a flat world with flat dreams. I liberated my dimension Stanford and I'm here to liberate yours. as it turns out there is just one hitch, my weirdness can't escape the magical confines of this town. there is something keeping me in." bill finally finishes.
"Incredible, gravity fall's natural law of weirdness magnetism, I studied this years ago!" ford contemplates out loud while fucking himself over.
"And did you find a way to undo it?" bill asks, still projecting the scene with his eyeball.
"of course!" ford stated raising his hand. "it's a simple equation to collapse the barrier. BUT I'D NEVER TELL YOU!"
"Listen ford, if you just tell me that equation finally your dimension will be freed. anything will be possible. I'll remake a fun world, a better world! a party that never ends, with a host that never dies!" he proclaims projecting all the demon's doing hell knows what with their planets while I'm joining cryptos and keyhole in their 'planet tennis' with an unknown purple planet. "No more restrictions! no more laws! you'd be one of us. all powerful, greater than anything ever imagined!" bill finished the projection. "And all I need is your help!" he points at ford.
"You're insane if you think I'll help you!" ford accuses.
"HAHAHA! I'm insane either way brainiac! but have it your way! I'll just fish around and get that equation directly out of your mind!" bill exclaims, leaving his physical form to stone. I wince a little at the sight before realizing I don't have to worry about this scene.
"Not so fast! you know the rules bill." bill re-enters his form and pouts. "You may be able to haunt my dreams, but you can't enter my mind unless I shake your hand and let you in."
bill sighs and swirls his glass. "You're making this so much harder than it needs to be." he states, chaining up ford. "Everybody has a weakness wise guy; I'll make you talk it's only a matter of time."
"Woah, woah boys." I state emerging from the clock holding a doughnut and taking a bite out of it. "You're both terrible with negotiation, like come on, threatening to destroy a dimension? that's a terrible business pitch. Also, ford you just don't know when to shut your mouth do you?" I pause summoning another doughnut and holding it out to the chained-up ford. "Doughnut? I swear it doesn't have any human body parts in it!"
fords face scrunched up in disgust.
"Was it something I said?" I ask, looking towards bill before looking at my doughnut. "I just said it DOESNT have human body parts in it, do you just not like doughnuts or something?" I turned to bill. "Fine do you want it?" I held it out and he awkwardly took it from my hand.
"Thanks...?"
"Geez, why so stiff? you looked so badass a minute ago." I complained. "Also let go of ford, it is considered bad manners to trap your guest in chains." I stated.
"But I'm a demon!" bill complained similar to a child. "I don't want good manners."
"Bill Mischief Cipher- BWAahhhhaha oh god I can't do this anymore." I burst out into laughter and bill joined me while ford stood there confused as all hell and still chained up. "Anyway, nice to meet you again ford, uh, bit of a disappointment on your part it's not much of a better scenario."
"Who are you?" ford asks.
"Damn, already forgot me. Lynda? the person who broke your dumb rift? y/n's sister? helped bill turn you to gold?" a brief moment of recognition flashes through fords face. "Actually, fuck it, Lemme try a different approach." I stated tearing my mask of my face. "Oh, by the way, thanks for the equation you gave me."
"You- you lied to me!" ford sputtered.
"Well to be fair, you fell for the lie." I retorted. "Also, this weirdmageddon is kind of your fault, if it wasn't for me, you would have fixed your mistakes in the future, it's a shame that you just had to taunt me with that pendant."
"Your lie was the reason that I kept it from you! and now that you're working with bill, I'm glad I did!"
"Lemme tell you something fordsy, what if I told you that decision caused a child to die?" I asked getting closer to his face and forcefully lifting up his head. fear flashes through his eyes. "Did you know that Gideon managed to get his hands on my way back home because of your creation and your failure to hit bill correctly with that weird gun of yours? no? well now he's dead." I shrugged "so I guess you were right I wasn't trustworthy with it, but now your life will be a living hell while trying to live with the guilt." I grinned.
heh, just like me!
"Welp, bill want to give the henchmen a show?" I ask turning to bill.
"Oh absolutely!" he exclaimed picking me up and throwing me into a portal in the air that teleported me into one of the side pillars to the main room.
welp, at least I didn't splat on the ceiling.