April's POV
"No mom I can't go this week, I'm swarmed with work." I said through the phone as I changed the channels while simultaneously eating popcorn.
"That's a shame, I wanted to show you how the garden has blossomed so beautifully. Oh and your dad and I want to meet your boyfriend! It's about time." My mom said with excitement on her voice. I didn't have anything against them meeting Drew, it was about time given to the fact that we have been dating for almost a year.
It has been good and Drew is beyond amazing. It's just... I don't know. I haven't found the right time.
"He's been very busy with work as I have, but I will try to go visit as soon as we can." I hoped that that was enough to get my mom off my case for the time being. And I was relieved when it worked.
"Fine, I'll be waiting. I got to now honey, your dad and I are going out to the store." My mom said before hanging up on me after I had said my goodbyes.
It was a Saturday afternoon, Drew was out walking Bandit while I watched the new season of The Sex Lives of College Girls. Leighton likes blondes that look like her... which made me wonder if I could date someone who's just like me... or at least a blonde like me.
No you like dark haired women.
Fuck.
My life was perfect... so fucking perfect. And that's great isn't it? I have a fantastic boyfriend, a stable good paying job, my best friend. What more could I ask for?
Why do I have the need for more?
I hear the door of the apartment open up and just like that my thoughts banished, the sound of the television was now in the background as I saw Drew enter. He came in with Bandit who rushed to greet me before going to drink water on his room.
Yes, Drew had given his dog his own room. It was adorable and funny.
Drew was wearing a dark blue long sleeve training shirt with black shorts, his brown hair was messy and slightly wet from sweat. "Hi babe." He greeted me—a hand running through her hair to take it off his hazel eyes.
"Hi." He leaned down and kissed the top of my head as I pretended to be paying attention to my show— which I was kind of doing... well I vaguely knew what was happening.
"What you watching?" I turned to see him take his shirt off, his sweaty dark brown hair falling over his eyes again.
I bit my lip and tried to contain any hormonal urge I might get. It was not the time to fuck... that's what my brain is telling me, but is like my pussy has a mind of it's own and every rational thought goes out of the window.
"A show." I responded pathetically as I tried not to drool as I watched him do bars in the doorframe to his bedroom. His big back muscles flexing as he did each.
God, do big muscular—but kind hearted men are my weakness.
And so are bitch selfish women.
"Yeah that much I gathered." Drew chuckled at my answer.
"Well is not Succession so don't worry. I promised we'll catch up on season two together."
"I'm sorry babe, I will finish it I just don't want it to end so quickly, that's why I'm watching one episode a day." He finished doing his workout and came over to the couch to sit besides me. His naked chest out to be admired.
I hummed—his greenish hazel eyes looking at me from behind strands of hair. My will ran out and I straddled him, catching him off guard with a kiss, but he recovered quickly and put his big hands on my hips. I started rocking back and forth as I plunged my tongue inside his mouth, his lips weren't the softest but he was great kisser.
I felt him get hard under me as I humped him, "Fuck." I moaned against his mouth.
Drew groaned when I cupped him through his shorts, my hands then slipping through them to grab his member and started it jerking him off. "Fuck me," I said kissing his neck.
He changed our positions and put my back against the couch, I take my shirt off as he pulled his boxers down more and then helped me take mine off. "Wait I have to go get a condom."
"Just finish out." I pulled him to my lips and he nodded against me. I was so horny and desperate, maybe I'm close to getting my period.
I felt him rub the tip of his dick against my wetness before slide in, slowly filling me — getting moans out of me. He started moving at a normal pace, but slow for me. Sex between us was good, just not... mind blowing.
"Faster," I said tangling my hands in his short hair, my eyes closing, but snapping back open when my imagination met me with blue eyes and dark hair.
She can't even let me get fucked in peace.
Drew complied and started moving in and out of me at a faster pace, we keep going for a few minutes until I knew Drew was close. "I'm gonna cum," he groaned and pulled out.
I grabbed his dick and pumped him until he came all over my stomach. Me on the other hand was no longer horny, nor I could finish thanks to someone popping into my mind every time, that it just threw.
It felt wrong if I had cum to the thought of Alex. Like, shit I feel bad enough for imagining her fucking me when I closed my eyes rather than my boyfriend.
So I fake moaned and pretended to cum instead. Once Drew gathered himself, he kissed me, "Let me get a towel to clean you, or you prefer if we shower?"
"A towel is fine, I should go home I have to feed Squirrel and catch up with work." I responded sitting against the arm rest. I'll just shower at home, I need to clear my head off and what better way.
Drew cleaned me and brought me a glass of water before sitting back on the couch, "I'm going to surf tonight with some friends, I was wondering if you wanted to come along."
"Like I said, I have work to catch up to. Sorry babe." I stood up and pulled my shirt on. "I'll make it up to you," I leaned down and pecked him.
"It's okay, I get it. Don't forget to rest." He said walking me to the door.
"Forgetting to sleep? Me? As if."
Drew chuckled, "That's true, bye."
"Talk later."
I walked to my apartment and entered to see Squirrel laying on the loveseat. He just stared at me, not greeting me. "Stop judging, I know I smell of sex. I'll go shower."
The cat meowed as I walked off to the bathroom, maybe a shower will help.
—
The shower didn't help.
My mind was still plagued by the presence of Alex, it's not like I haven't thought of her, but I've never thought of her while having sex with Drew.
Now I don't know how to feel.
Normally I would call Iliana to talk about it, so she can slap me for wanting to fuck Alex. But it's been a little more than a year and she's still acting like a complete cold bitch. I've tried time and time to tell me what's wrong, in every way possible to get someone to talk. Iliana just happens to be the most stubborn person in the fucking world, telling me that she is 'fine' and to stop bothering.
Maybe this is not something I should tell her... for now.
I feel horrible. Was thinking of Alex while I was fucking Drew cheating? Emotional cheating?
God I'm an awful person because even now I can't stop thinking of her.
I mean I love Drew, he's amazing in every way—sure I'm not in love with him yet, but I'm sure I will eventually.
The doorbell rang making me get out of my room, Squirrel passing by me on the corridor and into my room. "You should get that," I said to the feline. "Coming!" I yelled to the insistent person now knocking on my door.
Opening it I wanted to bang my head against a wall once I saw who was on the other side.
"Alex." She was different than I last saw her, her hair was longer—way pass her shoulders but it was put on a ponytail. It's been months since I last saw her, four months maybe? I don't remember exactly.
"Apr—il." When she spoke I could smell the stench of alcohol on her breath.
This won't end well.
"Alex what are you doing here? And why are you drunk?"
The brunette tried to take a step forward but almost lost balance—grabbing her arms I stabilized her. "I nee—needed to see you, I needed to see you."
"Alex—"
"Please." I was too in awe by those baby blue eyes of hers that I couldn't deny her plea. Sighing I walked her inside the apartment at sat her down in the couch.
What am I doing?
"Did you drive here? You need to drink water." My mind was running as I paced around the living room.
"Uhm where's your cat?" Alex mumbled laying against the backrest.
"What?" I shook my head, "Alex, why are you here? I can call you an uber, but you need to go home."
"No!" Alex stood up abruptly almost making her lose balance again, but I caught her again, this time however she pulled me closer—not letting me back out.
"Alex..."
"I need you April." She spoke clearly through her drunkenness. "I'm tortured every day...by the thought of you with him... with anyone but me." She tripped over words but still managed to speak with sense.
"Alexandria don't do this." My voice turned into a whisper.
Drunk words, who's to say how much they're worth. They are the truth you don't dare say sober. It's never that fucking simple.
"I'm fucked up, but you make not want to be. You make— me... be ashamed of not being anything but perfect for you, because that's the type of person you deserve, not less. I'm s—sorry." Alex tried to lean in forward to kiss me, but I dodged her and instead her face fell on my shoulder. I heard her mumble quiet drunken nothings against it.
It was a bad idea letting her in, because now I can feel my heart thumping on my chest. But I know I can't do anything about it, it's too late for her.
Why Alex? Why can't you fucking come and tell me these things when you are not drunk out of your mind?
"I'm taking you home." I said backing out of the sort of hug we were in.
"N—no I want to stay."
"No, I'm taking you home." I dragged her as I took my keys from the coffee table. "Squirrel I'll be right back!"
"Yeah we'll be back!"
"Shut up Alex." I pulled her out of my apartment. "Did you drive here?" I repeated the same question from earlier.
"Maybe." She started laughing as we got inside the elevator.
Oh for gods sake.
"That's not fucking funny Alex! You could've killed somebody. You could've killed yourself!" If I wasn't angry before I am now. How can she be so irresponsible?
I didn't respond to any of the things she was saying to me so I guess that's how she realized I was angry. I took my car instead of her's, firstly because I'm not driving her car back here, she can come and pick it up herself.
"April."
"What?"
"I'm sorry."
"So you say." I ignored her all the way until we got to her house, but she didn't speak much either. Nothing other than commenting on the songs that popped up on the radio.
Parking in front of her house I undid my seatbelt and looked at her, just to find her already staring at me. "We are here," I stated the obvious.
"You are so beautiful." Alex mumbled, her hand reaching for my face and playing with a strand of my hair.
"Alex stop." I grabbed her hand to take it off, but she grabbed mine back.
"I hate myself for hurting you."
"I don't hate you... I wish I did, but I can't hate you." I admitted. I've tried so hard to hate her, to make her flaws outweigh all the things I like about her, but it just seems impossible for me to do.
"I know you said th—at I didn't have a chance... that you didn't like me, but I need to know again. Don't I— stand a chance anymore?"
"Alex I have a boyfriend." It was the first time I brought that up tonight to her.
"Please."
"Alex."
"I love you."
Fuck.
Fuck.
"You can't do this to me Alex, you can't say this to me when I've moved on and while you are drunk." I took my hand back from her's. She can't just throw those words out like they hold no weight, ones that despite me trying to brush them away, it made my stomach do summersaults and my chest tighten.
She doesn't mean them.
"I'm drunk, but I know what I'm saying."
"Then do it when you are not drunk. Then maybe I'll believe you." I said making Alex shut her mouth. "Can you get inside your house alone?"
She nodded not looking at me, "Uhm Kai is inside— goodnight April."
"Goodnight Alex."
Before getting out of the car she leaned across to my side—making my heart jump thinking she would try to kiss me again, but she just softly kissed my cheek instead. It made me miss her lips on mine.
I watched her exit the car and walk to her house, stopping to look back at me from her front door before entering the house. I stayed parked there for a few minutes trying to organize my thoughts and what to do, every time coming to the same conclusion.
I need to break up with Drew.
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A/N - Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!