You were never anyone's first choice. At least that's the way you felt. Especially with your friends and any romantic interest you had. Everyone would always say how important you were to them and how much they appreciated you. But then again actions speak louder than words. It started with noticing and comparing the way others interacted when you weren't around. Slowly you started shutting everyone out, you didn't need them if they didn't need you.
You had met Natasha first when you joined the avengers. They all seemed to get along together and watching them interact you felt how you used, left out and like you weren't going to be able to fit in. Natasha noticed your behaviour instantly and thought it was strange. Though she still went out of her way to make sure you felt apart of the team.
Natasha helped you break free from these thoughts that had prevented you from being comfortable around the team. Soon enough you had become close friends with everyone, but you were closest with Natasha. Well at least you thought you were. Natasha was good at only telling you things that made it seem like you were getting to properly know her. Like she was finally letting you break the surface.
Then tonight while having a team dinner, you realised you didn't know actually know anything about Natasha. Natasha left you at the table not expecting you to go after her. Your feelings towards her were too strong to not comfort her. You at least had to try, she had always been there for you.
'Don't do that. Don't push me away,' You looked at Natasha tears threatening to fall. You and Natasha had been having a good night up until now. You thought you were finally getting somewhere with Natasha.
'I can't help it,' Natasha turned her head to look away from you, the wall seemingly more interesting than the conversation at hand.
It broke you to realise that Natasha wouldn't be able to let you in. Though she was the one that had helped you overcome your insecurities, she couldn't overcome her own. No one had been there for her like you.
'Please, Nat. Let me be there, like you've been there for me,' You pleaded with Natasha.
'I don't know if I can. I don't want to give you false hope,' Natasha wrapped her arms around herself.
'Nat, I'm never going to leave,' Natasha went to leave but you reached out to grab her hand making her freeze, 'Just stay, please Nat,' You were patient and understanding with Natasha, just as she had been with you. Natasha eventually nodded and let you lead her to your room after her visible internal struggle.
Natasha wasn't convinced she could be all that you need. But it was these moments, wrapped in your arms, that made her believe she could undo the years of training she endured growing up. She couldn't risk losing you, so for you she would try, 'You'll always be my first choice, I hope you know that,'