"We need to get off the street." Ian's voice broke the reprieve, reminding us that we still weren't safe.
I turned to Carlos and noticed that his grip on his gun was nearly as shaky as mine. "Can we still get to the shoe store?"
Carlos's Adam's Apple bobbed up and down erratically. Paula had yet to see her husband's shaken stature as she had become fixated on the small family at our feet. She took off her winter jacket and draped it over the boy's shoulders.
"Carlos?" I asked again, finally seeing the fog of panic lift from his eyes.
"We can, but it's just there." He pointed to a small building only half a block away from us. It was in the same direction as the machete-wielding woman and her giant friend.
Great.
A groan came from the ground and Paula rushed to the redheaded woman just as she keeled sideways, grabbing her head in her hand. Blood was dripping down the woman's cheek, but I realized for the first time that she was holding her side as well.
Shoe store it is.
"Ian, can you take Prisha and Carlos and get that store open and checked over?" I was already moving towards the family, trying to think.
"On it." Ian waved the other two over and I heard them moving as I knelt in the snow next to Paula.
"Can she move?" I asked, avoiding eye contact with the boy.
"She can," Paula answered, keeping her palm pressed to the redhead's side. "But we'll need to be quick about it."
I looked at the dark-haired woman as she pulled glasses out of her jacket's pocket and put them on. The delicate gold frames matched her perfectly as everything about her seemed petite and fragile. I had no idea how she had managed to support her partner's standing as long as she had. Her hazel eye's behind her glasses studied me carefully as I did the same to her.
A wind brushed over us making me shiver. The dark-haired woman tucked the short strands of her hair behind her ears to keep them out of her face.
No weapons. No backpacks. No gear.
"We are going to help you guys get to a store just down the road. Is that okay?" My question was direct but my voice was coaxing. I didn't want to waste any more time and the cold was becoming unbearable shockingly fast.
The woman looked between her partner and the boy before giving me a curt nod. "Alright. Thanks."
That was good enough for me. "Ray, help Paula."
He hurried over and bent down to help lift the injured woman along with Paula. Her partner helped, but the dark-haired woman shifted a bit, noticeably putting herself between us and the boy. I instantly liked her for it.
As she stood and moved closer to the boy, I could see that she was only a tiny bit taller than him. One growth spurt and he'd surpass her. She also had a young face, making it hard to guess her age.
"Jamie," the woman said firmly. "Stick close."
The boy didn't answer, but he also didn't need to be told twice. He stayed right by her side with Paula's coat still on his shoulders. I turned away from them to keep watch and make sure we weren't followed as we slowly progressed down the road.
We hadn't made it halfway to the store before the woman couldn't go any further. Ray hurriedly passed Paula his crowbar and scooped the woman up and off her feet, carrying her the rest of the way.
Ian met us at the store's doorway, holding it open for Ray as he struggled the last few steps through the snow. I was the last one to pass over the threshold and into what was a much smaller space than I'd anticipated.
The place looked family-owned and was clearly targeted at children. Adorably small shoes and shelves of shoeboxes lined the two side walls. The far end of the room held a long white counter with a single register and a doorway leading to what I assumed was a backroom. There were only three pieces of furniture – two benches and a wooden play table. Ray, having no options, ended up knocking the register to the ground and putting the woman on the counter with the help of Paula and the dark-haired woman.
My feet squeaked on the cream-colored, wooden floor as I maneuvered deeper into the shop. It was already damp from all the snow we'd tracked in and I slid a little on my first step. To my surprise, it was Prisha who helped steady me.
"Thanks," I told her.
"No problem." Her teeth chattered as she spoke but her tone was otherwise still distant.
"Would you mind keeping watch?" I asked as I returned my gun to my waistband. Paula was examining the redhead and I wanted to get a handle on the situation.
"Sure, but would you mind if I searched the backroom first? I didn't see anything of use during our first sweep-through, but I don't think it would hurt to double-check."
"Yeah, that's fine. Just get someone to watch for you while you're in the back." I made a move to leave her when I spotted Carlos in the corner, holding his gun like a shield. Without making a scene, I headed in his direction instead.
He nodded as I approached as if reading my mind. "I'm good."
"You sure?" He seemed a bit better, but his gun was still loaded.
"I said so, didn't I?" He snapped.
I moved closer in order to keep our voices hushed and so to not disrupt the group at the counter. "I won't take it from you, but if you want to trade your weapon with someone, then you won't need to be at the front of the action."
"I'm not giving up my gun."
I held up my hands, showing my retreat. "Fair enough. Then can you just let me know if you need anything?"
Carlos worked his jaw, thinking over what I'd said when Paula called me from across the room. I lingered only long enough to see I wasn't going to get any real answer from Carlos before I hurried to Paula's side.
Paula had the redhead's shirt pulled up to the bottom of her rib cage, revealing a horrifying slash that was deeply cut into her waist. She was dabbing a small cotton pad across the cut. When she reached the end of the cut, she tossed the pad to the floor on the other side of the counter and ripped open a small packet that revealed another cotton pad.
"I've got a couple dozen of these," she said, waving the rubbing alcohol packet at me in agitation before continuing, "I have some band-aids, ointments, I even have a few different types of acetaminophen but nothing for this. It's too deep."
I blanched a little. "I do. I have something." My hand raised to my chest before I realized what I was doing, tracing along my scar.
Paula looked at me with curiosity, but she was dedicated to the task at hand. "What is it? We need to move quickly. I don't know how much blood she's already lost."
Snapping out of it, I hastily tugged my backpack off of my back and dug through it until I found my needles and thread. "Will these work?"
She cringed a little but took them from me. "Help me here," she said as the wiped down a needle with another pad. "When I hold the thread taut, I need you to cut it. Ready?"
No.
"Okay," I could feel the bile rising in my throat, so I focused on breathing through my nose.
In.
Out.
In.
With each breath I took, she seemed to make a small but perfect stitch. The woman was not conscious to feel the pain, making Paula's job that much easier. Unlike Ian, who used one long string to piece me back together, Paula used small bits of thread for each stitch and would have me help cut the string each time. All in all, the woman needed almost thirty stitches.
"I don't think she has internal bleeding, but we'll have to watch for signs... and with so little light..." Paula mumbled mostly to herself. After covering the cut with an ointment and a plethora of band-aids, she moved away from the woman's side to take a look at her head. "Do you know if she was hit or cut?"
The dark-haired woman held the redhead's hand in hers. "Uh, I don't... I didn't see it happen."
"I did," the boy named Jamie piped up. His brown eyes were wide and fixed on the redhead. I was concerned about how ghastly pale his already fair complexion had become, but he seemed determined to speak. "That lady who'd been chasing us hit her like this." He made a downward slashing moment.
My insides shriveled up at the sight of a twelve or thirteen-year-old kid mimicking such a violent movement – especially one that had been used against a person who had to be his mother. At least it made my nausea stop. Instead, I just felt cold.
Paula did her best to reign in her own reaction and managed to give the boy a warm expression. "Do you know where in the head she was hit?"
The boy pointed on his own head to the top, back right part of his skull. Paula pushed the redhead's hair around, examining that part of her head. I could see the moment Paula turned her emotions off completely.
"Is your name Jamie?" she asked the boy. "Would you mind going with Ray here to the front of the store for a bit? He can get you set up with a little bit of food and water. Would that be okay?"
He squinted at her with his lips pinched. It was only after the dark-haired woman squeezed his shoulder that he caved. "Okay."
I passed my backpack to Ray before I could overthink it. "Give out some food to everyone," I told him. "Ask Ian for help if you need it."
Ray was taken aback, but he gingerly took my backpack before giving Jamie a strained smile. "Follow me, bud."
Jamie gave the redhead one last longing look before following Ray towards Ian. Ian, who'd been chatting with Carlos welcomed the pair with the best fake smile I'd ever seen.
"I don't think I need to reiterate this, but I am not a doctor." Paula's soft urgency made a pit form in my stomach. "I have limited skills and not a lot to work with, but..." She took a deep breath and grasped the dark-haired woman's hands that were still holding her partner's. "I will do everything I can here. Okay?"
"Okay?" The dark-haired woman's voice trembled slightly. "What exactly is wrong with her?"
"I think her skull might be fractured." Paula held up a hand to stop the woman from asking her next question. "We need to get some snow and create a compress in case there is any swelling."
"I'll get it," I said, turning towards the front of the store.
Paula grabbed my arm and passed me one of the clean shirts from her bag. "Use this."
"I'll be right back." I took off towards the front, only stopping to wave at Ian to follow me.
Prisha had made it back to the front of the store and had set herself up on a bench where she could see out the shop's large single window. She had a child-sized pink backpack with the glittery face of a unicorn sitting on her lap and seemed quite pleased with her find.
"We're getting snow," I told her, giving a half-hearted smile at her backpack.
She held it a little tighter with a smidgen of pride. "Sure."
Ian and I exited out the front door and I nearly shoved my gun at him as soon as the door was closed behind us. "Watch my back."
"Isn't that what I've been doing?" He smirked at me as he readjust his grip on the gun to look less useless.
"Now really isn't the time for your snark," I said with frustration as I search for the best, untouched area of snow that wasn't directly in front of the store. I crossed the street and Ian followed.
"Who said I was being snarky?"
I didn't bother to look was him. Moving to the side of the small building, I found a good patch of snow and began to scoop it onto the long-sleeved shirt Paula had given me, making a mound. "You're always snarky... or something. I don't know, but not now. Please, not now."
"Okay." He said it so simply and somberly that he caught me off guard. It was as though whatever part of him that always needed to be on turned off as easily as switching a light switch. "What do you need?"
"Me? I don't need anything." I groaned in frustration. "Or actually the problem is that we don't have anything. Paula thinks the woman has a skull fracture." Once I had enough snow, I bundled the shirt up to hold it and stood straight, facing Ian again.
"What else?" he asked, crossing his arms.
"Nothing." I took a step, then paused. "I don't know. I mean these people also have nothing. They don't even have weapons. And we have what? A little more water and candy bars. Candy bars. What the fuck are we supposed to do? What am I supposed to do?"
Ian said nothing as I took another step forward. "I can't help them." As soon as the words left my lips, I wanted to suck them back in and hide my vulnerability.
"Do you want to help them?" Ian's question was without judgement. I was beginning to believe that if he ever did judge me – and I was sure he did – he hid it brilliantly.
I put a hand to my forehead, feeling bone-weary exhaustion. "Yes, but... how? I don't know what to do."
Ian uncrossed his arms and I could see a flicker of a smile flash across his face. "We take it one step at a time. That's all you can do."
I bit the inside of my cheek and walked past Ian, heading for the door before I had to stop again. "You know what happened the last time I took charge."
"I know."
I spun back around to face him. "Then why aren't you saying anything? I did something terrible today. Why aren't you pushing back? Why haven't you told the others?"
Ian shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe because I see how much you care."
Something in me cracked a little. "Why don't you lead."
Ian's shield of a smile was back in full effect. "No thanks."
"But why?"
Ian's smile took on a sharp edge. "Maybe because I don't care enough."
I glared at him. "I don't believe you."
I started back for the door again when Ian's voice stopped me. "You can do this."
As much as I needed to get the snow inside, there were some things that couldn't be left unsaid. Looking back at Ian, I could see that past his smile, his eyes were honest. "Tell me I can trust you."
"You can," Ian stated plainly.
"Do you trust me?" My heart throbbed in my chest, desperate to hear a real answer.
Ian paused for a moment, however, it didn't seem to be because he didn't know the answer. Rather, it seemed as though he waited until I was ready to hear it. "I do."
It shamed me a bit, but I basked in his answer. He was my closest and only friend. Whenever I was feeling like a kite about to be lost in a storm, he kept me grounded. I was realizing more and more how much I needed him – and not just because he was my last connection to the life I'd lost. I needed someone I could count on.
I turned back to the door for what I was determined would be the final time, wanting to hide the emotions that had bubbled up. "Then just keep watching my back."
My hand was on the doorknob when I heard his quiet response. "I already told you. I always do."
---
The snow compress shocked the redhead awake. Jamie stayed close to his mom along with the dark-haired woman who I'd learned was named Misty. I'd picked up on bits and pieces of their story as they spoke of happier things trying to distract themselves. The family was from Chicago and Lindsay, the redhead, and Misty had been together for the last five years. From everything I could tell, they must have been very happy.
Misty and Jamie sat vigilant deep into the night as Lindsay's health progressively worsened. At some point, I fell asleep despite myself, too drained to resist.
Nightmares plagued me. Abby sat on a swing that was gently being pushed by the older woman from the movie theater. They looked at me with derision as they played at being a family. Their eyes never left me as I was forced to stand by and watch.
"Lindsay?" The voice dragged me out of my slumber.
"Sweetheart, please." I peeled my eyes open from my spot on the floor. Ray was on watch, but it seemed like the only other people awake were Misty and her partner. Jamie was snoring softly, having fallen asleep on the floor next to the counter.
Not wanting to disturb them, I waited to see if I was needed. My heart sank as I heard soft sniffles.
"Take care... of him." The voice sounded weak and slurred.
"I will. You know I will."
"I love..."
"Sweetie. Please, please Linds. Stay with me."
I turned away from the couple and squeezed my eyes shut.
Please don't let her die.
It didn't matter what anyone felt or wanted. I'd seen the look on Paula's face before she'd made the decision to rest for a bit. There would be no point in waking her up. Another life would be lost before they could see the morning's early light.