The woman's body slumped and then flopped onto the hard ground, splayed for everyone to see. Not even a breath could be heard in the silence that followed. It was only when the ping sound of the woman's knife hitting tile reverberated throughout the room that the spell was broken and a high pitch wail came from behind me.
I didn't turn around. Instead, I looked at Prisha who had turned ghostly pale and, from her expression, seemed to be shaken to the very fabric of her being. "Are you okay?" I asked her.
She blinked at me with wide doe-like eyes and raised a hand to her neck. I recognized that she was in shock, but from the agonized cries coming from the people behind me, I wasn't sure if it was more from having had a knife put to her neck or if it was from my actions.
I'd killed again.
I refused to question it. Not when we were still so vulnerable and not when there was still more to do. The others could have feelings about it, but I had to act.
"Prisha," I almost snapped, finally catching her attention. "Are you hurt?"
She shook her head and pressed her lips together so tightly that they almost became a thin, white line.
That had to be good enough for now. I turned away from her to face the room behind me. Instinctively, I knew everyone was staring at me, but I only looked at the pair still kneeling in the corner.
The young woman was hysterical and had partially collapsed into the arms of the man beside her. He held her tight and glared at me with a glassy look of tears in his own eyes.
I'm sorry.
"We need you to cooperate. No one else has to get hurt."
The young woman looked at me then. Her hatred was nearly tangible through her fierce glare. I could see the resemblance between her and the older woman I'd shot. It was clear that they were related and nothing I'd say going forward could make the situation better.
"Ray," I called out. "Find the food." It was an order and he followed it. In the meantime, I kept my empty gun trained on the pair on the floor.
"Why are you doing this?" the man on the floor asked. His hair was unkempt and down to his shoulders, but it looked relatively clean – a sign of luxury.
I didn't want to answer him, not when he was looking at me with such disdain.
"We're hungry." Ian's voice made me jump a little as I hadn't realized he'd moved to be behind me. Both pairs of angry eyes left me to look at him.
"Hungry?" The young woman sounded aghast, unable to fathom his answer.
I couldn't see Ian's expression, but I could picture an insincere smile. "We want to survive, too." His answer was mine, but I was thankful I didn't have to speak in that moment. I was too busy trying to maintain my hold on the dead weight of my gun.
Ray returned from what I assumed was the concession stand with a black trash bag tossed over his shoulder. As he turned, I could see the bag was almost half full of goods.
"Is that everything?" I asked.
"I didn't see anything else," Ray said, dropping the bag on the floor by my feet. "It was already all in this bag."
I didn't look at its contents, but rather took a step closer to the pair on the floor, regaining their attention. "Is this all the food you have?" I asked, meeting the woman's blue eyes.
Neither she nor her companion answered, instead they held each other's hands. They looked at me as though they were preparing for the worst. It was like they were ready for me to shoot them, unaware all my bullets were gone and I couldn't have shot them even if I wanted to.
I don't want to... I didn't want to.
"Paula? Can you help Ray check for more?" I asked, not allowing my inner turmoil to leak into my tone.
Paula seemed a little taken aback to have been called out, but she moved to join Ray without any hesitation. "Sure."
The two of them left and began scouring behind all of the different counters. We all waited in silence even as they moved on to go search the different theaters.
"This would be a lot easier if you just told us," I said to the couple after enough time had passed. My arms had started to ache from holding my gun up and aimed.
"Go to hell." The woman's defiance, even as she faced down the same gun that killed her loved one, was both impressive and frightening. I admired her for it and tried my best to ignore the sharp edges of shame that were poking at my insides.
After checking that Carlos still had his gun trained on them, I lowered mine, squatting to be at the pair's level. "We are only going to take half." The pair looked skeptical, so I continued, "But... if we do find more than this bag and you don't tell us about it first, we'll take two-thirds."
For a moment, I could have sworn that they looked conflicted, however, it was evident that their fury was too raw. They might have been too scared to resist, but they had no intention of easing my burden. I could only hope that if I were in their situation, I'd have the courage to do the same.
I stood back up and repositioned my gun to be aimed between the pair. By the time Ray and Paula rejoined us, it was nearly pitch black in the entrance. We had the grace of the large windows casting light from the starry night sky, but nothing else. Luckily, our eyes had long since adjusted. It helped me see the three bottles of water Paula carried in.
When my eyes drifted back to the couple, I could see their genuine distress. I lowered my gun and put it in my waistband, then took my backpack off my shoulders. "Keep your gun on them," I warned Carlos.
I knelt down next to the trash bag and dumped its contents on the floor. Mixed emotions filled me as I was greeted with what looked like a loot most kids would have dreamed of for Halloween. All the people had in the bag was candy – and seven more bottles of water. It was hardly what we'd hoped for, but it was far better than nothing.
"We're taking half," I told the room. I wouldn't take more, not even after what I'd said.
With some effort, I sorted through it all, careful to be as fair in my selections as I could. Once I'd gotten all of our half in my backpack, I stood up and retook my place in front of the pair.
"We'll leave you now, but if you follow us for any reason – we'll shoot you. Do you understand?" I asked, focusing more on the woman whose glare had never lessened.
"I hope you burn." The woman's answer wasn't unexpected, but I still internally flinched.
I probably will.
"Let's go," I said to my group, taking the lead by exiting out the door.
It was freezing and a shiver crept through me as the nighttime breeze rustled the end of my ponytail. I could see my breath fogging in front of me as the others joined me outside.
"We need to find a place to stay for the night." I sounded exhausted even to my own ears. My cough had entirely cleared up and I felt a tickle in my chest from the slight drop in temperature. "Any ideas? Did anyone see any good places to stay on the way here?"
"There's a shoe store just down the road," Carlos answered. "It seemed pretty secure."
It had to be good enough. We still had to get better gear and, until then, we couldn't risk getting any colder than we already were. "Can you guide us there?"
I met Carlos's eye for the first time since he'd seen me kill another person. If he had judgement, it wasn't there. "Sure," he said, putting his gun-free hand gently on Paula's lower back to guide her ahead of him and away from the movie theater.
Prisha hurriedly followed after them and Ray pursued not far behind. I made the choice to take up the rear in case the people from the theater decided to come after us. Wanting to be prepared, I put my gun in my waistband and took my ice pick out from my sleeve.
"Well, that was fucked up," Ian said, dragging me from my thoughts. I hadn't even realized he was waiting for me, but his comment came like a sucker punch.
"I did what I had to do." My answer rang defensive even to my own ears. "We don't know how far that woman could have taken it."
She could've killed Prisha.
Ian raised an eyebrow at me. "Then what are you making that face for? If you did what you did to save a friend's life then that's that."
I stared at him, taking in what he said. It wasn't necessarily a statement of forgiveness, but it was something. He understood my intentions and that in itself eased the icy, hollow feeling that had settled deep in my chest.
"I'm not making a face," I responded, doing my best to shift the conversation to a lighter note. There wasn't time for vulnerability.
He scrunched his nose at me. "Sure you're not."
"Just keep up." I brushed past him, taking an exaggerated step to follow in the existing treads in the snow. "Did you see how far away the store is?"
"I think it's-"
"Leave us alone!"
The terrified voice made us all freeze in place. It had come from the direction we were going. There was no time to run or hide. Trouble was about to meet us head-on.
I pushed past Ian and the others to stand next to Carlos. Within a minute, we could see two women and a preteen boy come around the corner. One woman seemed to be almost completely supported by the other as the boy ran ahead of them. He stumbled to a stop when he saw us. Even from more than twenty feet away, I could see the whites of his eyes from how much they widened.
"Jamie! Go!" One of the women yelled, not having noticed us yet. He didn't move.
They soon noticed us, too. The woman leaning against the other almost slid to the ground. Her bright, red hair matched the boys, but hers looked completely dark and saturated on one side as though it was covered in blood.
We all stared at each other. I had the desperate urge to run, but I had to make a different choice. The people in front of us were being pursued. We had the choice to either use them for our escape or help them. As I looked at the boy, I knew my choice.
I pulled the gun out of my waistband. "Hurry and get over here!" I yelled to the group.
They stayed where they stood despite the urgency of the situation. I was about to yell again when the redheaded woman dropped to her knees despite her companion's best efforts. My heart was in my throat at the sight.
Shit.
Following through on my choice, I sprinted as fast as I could through the snow to the small group. I made it to the boy first and nearly shoved him in the direction of my people. "Get her up," I told the woman as I passed the pair struggling in the snow.
I made it to the bend in the road and aimed my gun, taking the biggest risk hoping whoever was coming wouldn't call my bluff.
Two figures in the dark approached. One was a man nearly twice my size and the other was a woman holding what looked like a massive machete. It was hard to make out their features, but from their determined movements, they came off as predators pursuing their prey.
"Hey!" I yelled at them. "One more step and I'll shoot."
They slowed to a stop and talked in hushed voices to each other. The gun in my hands rattled a little as fear and adrenaline coursed through my veins. They were plotting.
"Try me!" I practically screamed. "I fucking dare you!"
The scrunching of shoes in the snow behind me clued me in that others were joining me. From the corner of my eye, I saw Carlos raise his rifle.
The machete-wielding woman raised her hands first, but the giant man soon followed. "We're leaving." The man's voice could barely be heard across the distance, but their actions spoke for them as they backed up.
"Go!" I called after them. "Don't let me see you again!" I was panting and shaky as my body dealt with another major dosage of adrenaline, but I kept my focus on the pair until they were far enough off in the distance that I felt satisfied that they weren't coming back.
Not putting my gun away, I walked over to where the women were still in the snow. Upon closer inspection, I could see that the redheaded woman was, in fact, badly bleeding from somewhere on her head.
Despite my group surrounding them, the two women and the boy were absorbed in their own relief, having survived what was probably a precarious ordeal. I watched as the dark-haired woman lowered her forehead and touched it against the redhead's. Her gaze was full of comfort as she tilted her face and gave her partner a short but tender kiss.
When they broke apart, the redhead reached out her hand for the boy. He moved closer to her, but rather than take her hand, he let her grab his sleeve. Even with everything happening around us, it was strikingly normal to see a boy around his age cringe away from overt affection.
Only then did it truly click for me what I was observing. Somehow in a single night, I'd managed to go from destroying one family to saving another.