Bonus POV! Sorry if is a bit cringy at parts.
Esmae POV
I stepped away from the group. My eyes stuck on the sorry looking male huddled in the corner pew. The horrible monster that was guilt began gnawing at my insides. Garren looked broken, his hair sticking up in odd directions like he'd been pulling at it. Creeping closer I sat down beside him. Listening to his soft words as he prayed to the mother.
"Please," He begged, "Let her be happy. Let my Esmae be happy again."
"Garren," I whispered, tears pricking at my eyes like they so often did.
Black eyes, lifted to meet mine. His bones cracked as he shifted, his body lengthening and his teeth growing longer. I stared into the face of my mate, my lover, my protector. I stared into the face of the male I had abandoned in my own pain.
"Esmae," He snarled, my name coming out garbled with his teeth hanging over his lips.
He lunged, a startled shriek escaping my lips at the sudden movement. Garren lifted me up in his arms and stormed out of the pews, heading towards the open temple doors. My friends stormed into the main part of the temple. Aslin's blue eyes wide as she watched me be taken away.
"I'm fine!" I called out, golden hair quickly disappearing from view.
I settled back into familiar arms, looking up at my mate's gaunt face. Unfeeling black eyes stared in front of us, a deep scowl on his normally cheerful face. Taking a deep breath I pushed down the tears that were attempting to flow down my cheeks.
I took my time studying him, noticing the signs of mate rot, something that I caused when I left to try and end all the pain. Just like my father did to my mother when he ended his life. Pain rippled through my body and I pressed my ear to his chest, listening to the steady thump thump thump of his heart.
Time passed slowly, it was an hour jog from the temple to our home and while Garren could carry me easily I didn't want to be jostled for the next forty minutes. I shoved at his chest, wiggling in his tight grip. A deep growl sounded from his chest and I froze, looking up at the black eyes that were glaring down at me.
My beast was purring in delight, adoring having any sort of his attention on me after being apart from him for so long. I settled back in his arms, obeying his silent command. He looked away from me, nose flaring. I didn't bother to try and talk to him, try to calm him. My male was too far gone to listen to me... I should have come home when he first came to me.
~~~
Garren slowed and I pulled my head from his chest. We were just outside our home and Rasen was sitting on the front steps. He raised his head and his tired eyes crinkled into a smile. He stood and took a step forward, halting when a loud growl sounded from the male cradling me.
"Good to see you, Esmae," Rasen said, slowly backing away from us, "I'll make sure Az knows Garren won't be coming to training for a few days."
"Thank you," I called, my mate's arms tightening around me, "Let's go inside, Garren."
My mate carried me towards the front door, eyes darting around to every little movement. He shifted me to free one of his hands, dragging his palms over the door frame before entering the house. He continued to trail his hand all over the house on the way to our bedroom. Garren slammed the door once we entered the bedroom, locking the door before placing me gently on the bed.
I twisted my hands nervously, perched on the edge of the bed. He paced back and forth in the small room like a caged animal. His lycan was in complete control, any trace of the male I knew had been locked away in a cage of panic. Thankfully I was quite familiar with calming my male and bringing his human side to the surface. Only my mother had managed to make him this mad, but that was years ago.
"Garren," I called softly, drawing a low growl from my mate.
He didn't look at me, his eyes darting around the room suspiciously. Every noise from outside caused him to pause to make sure there was no threat. I got to my feet slowly, finally drawing his attention to me. His lip curled in a snarl and I bit down on my lip, I missed his grouchy expressions.
I stepped forward and he started to growl, glaring at my feet like they personally offended him. Ignoring the rage and fear that simmered under the surface I stepped closer to him, reaching out to my male. He let me wrap my arms around him and pull him back towards the bed.
"That's good," I praised, sitting on the bed and shifting back so he could follow, "Come here, Garren."
He gritted his teeth, eyes flickering hazel before turning black again. I had really messed up, gritting my teeth and wrapping my arms around him. Pressing my body as close as I could to his.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, "I was so selfish. I'm so sorry, my love. I'll be better. I just couldn't handle seeing you so sad. I thought that you would be happier without me making you sad all the time. I'm a disappointment as a female and as a mate."
Teeth nipped at my neck, halting my self-pitying rambling. Garren pulled up one of the furs that covered the bed, nuzzling into me and warming us both. Guilt again tried to carve up my insides, but I ignored it. Pressing kisses to the face of my hurting male.
"I missed you," He whispered, nuzzling into my neck and drawing his hands up and down my sides like he needed to reassure himself I was still here.
"I won't leave again, Garren," I wiped away my tears and nestled myself down into his arms, "Never again."