AN: Two more chapters - not including this one - until the end of season 2😳
Five paced the alley angrily and Luther had his head in his hands, "Now what?"
Five stuck his arms out and looked at the big man, "Now nothing, Luther, all right? Make your peace with God." He exclaimed.
"What? What about Allison and Vanya?" Luther asked dumbfounded.
"Screw them both. They should have been here." He said, he had a sudden outburst and kicked a box beside the dumpster. Kali raised her brows and gave him a look, she had accepted that they were gonna die days ago.
"What about Diego? He's quite a responsible young man, no?" Luther questioned. "Something must have happened to them."
"Screw Diego, all right? Screw everybody! I was better off on my own in the apocalypse." Five yelled.
That hurt. That really hurt. Kali looked at Five expecting him to look back at her and say, 'Not you.' or 'Never you.' But he never did.
"Five! Come on." Luther warned, seeing Kali's hurt look.
"You know what, Luther? It's every sibling for themselves now. How 'bout that?" Five announced and walked into the building.
Klaus whimpered, "Did Five just get meaner?"
"Klaus, go check on Allison, okay? Make sure she's okay. Find the others and we'll meet back here. Kali and I will handle Five." Luther instructed. "Come on, Kali."
Kali lifted a finger to say, 'Just a minute.' and Luther ran off after Five. Kali and Klaus got up and Kali made sure to do the opposite. "And you, you have had your possession privileges revoked," Klaus told the pile of vomit.
"I regret nothing." Kali heard the voice say, maybe it was Ben...
Klaus began walking away, "Stay out of me!"
"I regret nothing!" Presumably, Ben repeated.
"Back off!"
Klaus turned the corner and Kali finally brought herself to look at the pile of vomit, she pursed her lips and scanned it quickly.
"Can you see me?" Ben asked in disbelief.
She turned her head away slightly, not wanting to look at the puke any longer, and shook her head.
"But you can hear me?" Ben clarified. Kali nodded. "How?"
"I... don't know." She muttered.
"Okay... well, I have to go follow Klaus and make sure he doesn't get hit by a car or something. But we can talk later, okay, Kal?"
"Okay." She waited a few moments, not sure if he was gone or not. "I love you." She whispered sadly.
"I love you too, sis." She heard him whisper back. She smiled sadly and walked back into the building. She ran up the multiple flights of stairs and opened the door to see Luther banging on the bathroom door, yelling Five's name.
Luther caught sight of her and moved to the side, she tilted her head and slowly walked up to it. She raised her fist and knocked gently on the door, it quickly swung open, showing Five, "Get in." He said quickly. She walked in and he slammed the door shut. "We killed all those people for no reason!" He exclaimed, pacing the room. "All because our brain-dead siblings, can't follow a simple deadline! How hard is it, to meet your siblings so that you can go home?"
She shrugged lightly, not sure how to answer him. He suddenly spun around to face her, "Can I kiss you?"
The heavy sound of Luther's feet quickly moved away from the door and into the living room.
She froze, unsure how to react. Five noticed her tense state and immediately regretted his words, "Shit. I'm sorry. I didn't- I just..." He trailed off, looking around the room awkwardly. She took an uneasy step towards him, then another, and another. She was standing right in front of him and he slowly looked back at her, she took a shaky breath before quickly pecking him on the lips. The two both flushed a deep red as soon as she backed up a step.
Five blinked a few times, not fully processing what just happened, "Wow... I... wow." He gasped, as if out of breath. He took in her beauty in those few seconds. Her light brown hair, matching eyes, perfect face, the small, nervous, smile that slowly crept upon her face as she realized what she just did, and her lips, they were so perfect. She was just... flawless.
She took in his face as well. His chocolate brown hair was neatly swept to the side at all times, his emerald green eyes that you could easily get lost in, his perfect jawline, his gorgeous smile that lit up the room, and his lips. His lips were a new feeling... they fogged up her mind, they were like magnets that attracted her eyes.
She loved every part of him.
He loved every part of her.
He was her everything. Her entire life, she only felt alive when he was close, and while she knew nothing would ever be easy with him, she also knew nothing would be good without him, either. She snapped out of her haze and brought herself to talk, "I... really l-like y-you..." she cringed away, already hearing the rejection.
Without hesitation, he responded, "I really like you too."
She looked up at him, "R-really?"
He chuckled airly, "Of course, how could you think I don't?"
She felt it beginning to get harder to talk but forced herself to speak before she completely stopped, "I-I just th-thought..." She squeezed her eyes shut, as if in pain. "That you'd... ch-change y-your mind o-or didn't mean what you said." She said slowly, she mentally cursed her mind for deciding that now was a good time to feel like she shouldn't speak.
Five gave her a sympathetic look as she opened her eyes, "I've always liked you. The only thing that changed over the years was my feelings growing stronger." He smiled at her softly. "God. I'm being such a sap." He chuckled. She nodded and smiled down at her feet, he took a deep breath and looked around the room, "I... need to think. Can you please leave me alone for a bit?" He asked, his tone changing from just seconds ago.
She stared at him for a moment before nodding. She opened the door and walked out, she went straight to her room and stood in the middle of it, completely dumbfounded. She just kissed her best friend. Holy shit. She opened her bedside table and grabbed her Walkman, headphones, and a record. She pressed play and lay on her bed as 'My Girl' by The Temptations played. She smiled to herself and rolled onto her side, staring at the wall, she began re-planning her whole life.
. . .
40 minutes later she heard Luther call out for Five again, she hopped out of bed, took off her headphones, and opened her door. The girl walked into the kitchen to see Five chugging a bottle of water and Luther standing dumbfounded in the doorway. "You okay?" He asked.
Five finished the bottle and panted heavily, "I'm gonna need to stay hydrated." He informed as he put the empty bottle back in the fridge which angered Kali slightly. Who puts an empty bottle in the fridge?!
"Hydrated?" Luther repeated. Five grabbed a bottle of baby powder off the table and began pouring it down his shirt. "What's with the baby powder?"
"It'll help with the itching." He sighed, pouring the powder down his other sleeve.
"What itching? There's itching? What the hell is going on here?" Luther asked. Kali looked away as Five poured some down his pants, her cheeks tinged a light pink. "You do have a plan."
Five jumped up and down and looked at the two, "Well, it's a desperation move, but... since our brain-dead siblings are incapable of meeting a simple deadline, I got no choice." He told them and walked into the living room with Luther and Kali following.
"No choice about what?"
"I have to find myself." He said casually. Kali tilted her head in confusion and Five flicked open a watch, "I just arrived in Dallas 15 minutes ago."
"Should I be worried about you?" Luther asked, Kali, nodded in agreement.
Five began stretching, "Luther, if you recall, I was sent to 1963 on a job by the commission to make sure the president was assassinated."
Luther gasped, "Oh! So, wait, your old self is out there."
Five rolled his neck, "Precisely."
"What, just walking around Dallas?"
"Walking around Dallas with a briefcase that can get us home."
"Oh, my God. Five, you're a genius." Luther stated and clapped his hands together.
"However, there are two significant problems with this plan. Problem number one: I am a trained assassin, arguably the most dangerous assassin in the space-time continuum. If I know me, I'm not going to react kindly to bumping into myself. Problem number two, and this is the real fly in the ointment here: you're not supposed to exist in close proximity to yourself in the same timeline. The effects can be disastrous." Five informed, pacing the living room.
"Side effects? What sort of side effects?" Luther repeated.
"Well, according to Commission Handbook Chapter 27, subsection 3b, the seven stages in paradox psychosis are..." He stopped pacing and faced the two, putting up a hand and counting, "Stage one: denial, two: itching, three: extreme thirst and urination, four: excessive gas, five: acute paranoia, six: uncontrolled perspiration, and seven: homicidal rage."
"Homicidal rage?" Luther questioned in disbelief. Kali blinked in surprise and looked at Five incredulously.
"Yeah." Five said, continuing his pacing.
"Jeez, I don't know. This maybe isn't such a good idea."
"It's a Hail Mary." Five exclaimed, raising his arms. "But what choice do we got, Luther?"
"I don't know, you already seem a bit squirrelly if I'm being honest."
"Look, Luther." Five hurried over to the two and held Luther's arms. "I'm gonna need you to help me get through this one, all right? I... I need a spotter."
"A spotter?"
"Yeah. Both of you." Five gasped out, looking between the two.
"What is that? Like, a wingman?"
"In case the paradox psychosis gets too severe, I need you two, to help me stay on task, all right?" Five clarified. "So, whatever happens, whatever I say, we need to get that briefcase. Okay?"
Luther nodded, "Okay."
"Okay." Five repeated. He held Kali's hand and began walking away quickly, hand-in-hand. Kali nearly pulled away on instinct, by him practically dragging her, but she reassured herself that she was okay and that it was just Five. That still didn't stop her from being tense though. Five spun around when he realized Luther wasn't following, "Luther, come on."
"Right." The man exclaimed and followed his two siblings down the stairs.
. . .
The three arrived at a bar, Five was fidgety the whole way, Luther was walking behind them nervously, and Kali was tense and harshly biting her lip whilst watching her feet. Five's grip on her hand getting too tight for her liking, and his hand was really sweaty, making her squint her eyes uncomfortably and purse her lips. She couldn't even force herself to pull away, afraid that she would hurt Five's feelings, or he would confirm her thoughts and yell at her, saying she was being self-centred. Luther noticed his sister's tense state and didn't know ex what to do, except watch and figure out what to say.
Number One opened the bar door, and they all walked in, Kali immediately tried to shrink away behind Luther's big frame and got a bit closer to Five. Old Irish music played over speakers, voices overlapped each other and many people were gathered at tables and standing around.
They hid behind a pillar and Five finally let go of Kali's hand to fix his blazer. She let out a gasp of relief, wiped her hands on her hoodie and pulled the sleeves over her hands for some sort of comfort.
"Well, there I am." Five sighed. Luther and Kali followed his gaze to an old man sitting at the bar with a pen and notepad. They looked down and spotted the briefcase at his feet.
Luther stood up straight again, "Why don't we just grab the briefcase and run?"
"Luther, I would never let that happen. We're trained to protect these briefcases with our lives."
"Right."
"Plus, it's the inherent paradox where this gets tricky. I'm endangering my existence just being in the same room as myself."
"Huh- What do you mean?" Luther questioned.
Kali sighed, closing her eyes, and mouthed in annoyance, "Oh, my God."
"Luther, try to keep up. If old me doesn't travel back to 2019 like he's supposed to, the whole thing unravels itself. I cease to exist. You got me?"
Luther took a moment to process, "I get you." Kali could tell he was confused.
"So our best chance is to talk with him, to reason with him. He'll understand. Trust me. I know myself better than, uh... better than I know myself." He shrugged and scratched his neck. Kali went to lower his hand to make him stop but he did it himself before she got close enough.
"You just itched your neck." Luther pointed out. "That's stage two of paradox psychosis."
"No, I didn't. I didn't itch my neck." Five denied. Kali gave him a look but Five just pretended not to notice.
"Denial is stage one."
"I am fine, okay? Let's stay on task, shall we?" He went to walk to his old self but Luther stuck out his arm.
"Wait!"
"What?" Five asked in annoyance.
"Maybe I should go first."
"Why?"
"Well, you'll freak him out. Bumping into your own tiny doppelganger? He will lose his shit. Just let me break the ice."
Five nodded, "Okay."
"Okay," Luther repeated. He took a deep breath and walked up to the old version of Five.
Kali looked at Five worriedly as he scratched his chest and leaned against the pillar. She nervously stood beside him and whispered so quietly in his ear he could barely hear her, "A-are you okay?"
"I'm fine." He defended angrily. She looked at her hands and nodded. He sighed and looked at her, "Are you okay?"
She forced a small smile onto her face and looked up at him, she nodded before quickly looking back down.
"I know it's loud in here. I should have gotten you to bring your headphones, I'm sorry."
"It's fine." She muttered quietly, glancing up at him through a curtain of hair that had fallen in front of her face moments ago.
"I can blink back to Elliot's and get them." He offered, trying to make her feel better.
Kali wanted to take up the offer but didn't want to feel needy, so she shook her head and moved closer to him. He hesitantly and slowly wrapped his arm around her waist when he noticed a clearly underaged kid - probably around 16 - eyeing Kali. Eight tensed and blushed for a second before relaxing and leaning into him, resting her head on his shoulder.
Five listened to Luther and his old self's conversation for a second before looking down to Kali, "Come on."
She lifted her head and Five moved away from the pillar, taking his hand off of her waist. She went behind him, grabbed onto his blazer sleeve from behind, and looked to the floor once more, letting her hair cascade in front of her face.
The two walked out from behind the pillar and Five looked at his old self, "Hey there, stranger."
Old Five stared at Five and Kali in shock but mainly Kali. Feeling his eyes on her, she shifted uncomfortably and moved closer behind Five, acting like his shadow. Five glared at his old self and tried to cover Kali as much as he could.
Luther spoke up, trying to break the tension, "Let's get a table. Talk things out, yeah?"
Five slowly began walking past the two, keeping his eyes on his old self. Once they were past him, Five reached back and slithered his arm around Kali's waist again, knowing damn well what he was doing. Old Five expected her to pull away or at least flinch, but she only responded by moving closer to him. Luther took in the old Five's shocked reaction and leaned in, "I heard him ask if she wanted to kiss earlier... by my guess... they did." He smiled proudly.
Old Five was taken aback for a second before scoffing, "Disgusting."
Luther and old Five headed over to the table that the kids were already sitting at. Kali was staring at her hands nervously while the two Five's glared each other down and Luther sipped the glass of beer he had grabbed earlier.
Luther sighed uncomfortably, "Well... this is nice, isn't it? The four of us, together like this."
"No." Both Five's said in sync.
Older Five spoke up, "Somebody explain to me how it is I'm having a pint of Guinness with my younger self."
"Older, actually. I'm you, just 14 days older."
Kali reached for the ice water that was in front of her and took a sip. "I have pubic hair smarter than you. How's that possible?" Older Five rebuked.
Five went to respond but cut himself off when he saw Kali jerk forward, and water spill out of the glass she had against her lips. Kali was choking on her water and trying her hardest not to make any noise in such a crowded place, she covered her mouth with her hand in a panic about what to do. Five watched concerned as her eyes watered and she looked down at her lap, her body shaking, trying not to cough which only made it worse. Five looked at Luther who just shrugged dumbly but was obviously concerned for his sister who looked like she was about to pass out from lack of oxygen. They didn't doubt that she would rather faint than make a scene in a public place which honestly made Five panic more.
Five looked back at Kali and grabbed her shoulder, he blinked the two behind the building and she turned her head away so that he couldn't see her nearly purple face. Five grew agitated that she still refused to cough and he yelled, "JUST BREATH, KALI! WE'RE ALONE!"
She gave in and doubled over in a coughing fit, Five sighed in relief as she gasped for air. After a few moments, she whispered in a raspy voice, "I'm always fucking choking."
Five chuckled, "Yeah. Your stubborn ass nearly passed out from it."
She smiled slightly and coughed a couple more times before responding, "That was so embarrassing..."
"It was concerning. You shouldn't be embarrassed about something you can't control. How did you even choke, anyways?"
She blushed and chuckled, "He has pubes smarter than you." She whispered.
Five pinched the bridge of his nose, "You're so immature, oh, my God." He looked back up at her and smiled, "Ready to go back in and show Luther that you're not dead." He joked.
She nodded once and grabbed his hand, he blinked them back at the table and immediately began talking again so that nobody questioned her. "I can explain. You see, one hour from now, on the grassy knoll, before the president is killed, you break your contract with the Commission. I already know you're thinking about it. All those years in the apocalypse, we never stopped worrying about our family. Well, today, you are going to do something about it. Today, you are going to attempt to time travel forward to 2019. However, you are going to screw up the jump and end up in this twip of a body, trapped forever, small, pubescent."
Old Five farted, "Okay." Kali pursed her lips, trying to suppress her laughter. "Even if I was to believe you, what am I supposed to do about it, not jump?"
"No, no. I need you to jump. If you don't jump, I cease to exist. What I need you to do is jump correctly."
"I'm listening." Old Five said eagerly.
Kali looked at old Five and realized that he was sweating like crazy, she scrunched up her nose in disgust and looked at her Five, only to realize that he was worse. She lifted her hand that still had her sleeve covering it and lightly dabbed his face with it, pulling away quickly with each dab as if it was burning her.
Five moved his head away a bit but continued talking, "The first time through, I got the calculation wrong. That's how I ended up in this body. But now, I know the correct calculation."
"What is it?" Old Five asked, trying his best to hide his jealousy while he watched Kali take care of younger Five.
"I'll be glad to tell you... in exchange for that briefcase you're holding under the table." Five bribed. Kali lowered her hand and looked back at her lap, she wasn't needed in this conversation, she was just here to help Five and that's what she was going to do.
Luther butt in, "Yeah, yeah, so you go back to 2019, as planned, but this time with the right math, so you remain a full-grown man. In exchange, we get that briefcase that you no longer need."
"Timeline restored, paradox resolved. Everyone goes on existing happily ever after." Five narrowed his eyes.
"That's quite a bit to take in." Old Five admitted.
Five eyed his older self, "What do you think?"
Everyone waited eagerly for old Five to answer and Kali looked up at him as well. "I think... I need to piss." He grabbed the briefcase and went into the bathroom.
Luther noticed Five's sweating, "Oh." He grabbed a napkin that was under his beer and began dabbing Five's face with it, "Well, besides the flop sweat, I think that went pretty well, am I right?"
Five slowly pushed Luther's hand away and shook his head frantically, "No, no, there's something... Something doesn't feel right about this."
"What... What do you mean?"
Five pointed to the bathroom door that the old man went through, "I don't trust him."
Kali smiled in amusement at her best friend. Best friend? Boyfriend? Friends with benefits? Luther looked at Five strangely, "But he's you."
Five nodded again, "Exactly. Now go follow him and find out his plan." He demanded. Luther got up and headed over to the bathroom without another word.
Kali zoned out at the ice cubes floating in her drink as she thought about her newfound question. Should she ask Five what they are? What if he says they're nothing? Or laughs at her? What if this is all a lie and he's messing with her feelings? Does he truly like her? Is this legal? Physically she is 13 and he has a mind of a 58-year-old... does that mean that he finds kids attractive?! Does this make him a pedo? Does he have a daddy kink- wait why is she thinking about this?! What is wrong with her?
Old Five and Luther came back a few minutes later and when Five stood up it thankfully snapped her out of her trance but she had no idea what they were talking about.
"Less than an hour until showtime." Old Five informed.
"Why are you so anxious to get going all of a sudden?" Five questioned suspiciously. Kali stood up and hid behind Five once again.
"Relax. You're getting paranoid."
"Oh, am I?" Both of them farted at the same time and Kali decided it was better to stand behind Luther. He smiled down fondly at her, overjoyed that she decided she was comfortable enough to be that close to him. If this is what it felt like to be a big brother then he loved it.
Luther looked back at the two Five's, his smile still evident on his face, "Okay, let's roll."
Luther and old Five headed out the door, Five took Kali's hand and the two hurriedly walked out after them to catch up. Kali decided that she would just have to deal with holding Five's sweaty hand for today, despite how gross it felt.
(Words: 4033)
AN: Hello, beautiful people! I'm sorry that this chapter took so long to publish, I had no ideas whatsoever and no inspiration. But on other notes... FIVE AND KALI KISSED!! YAY!! I didn't make a big deal out of it cause it's Kali, y'know? I'm so excited to write season three! I have so many ideas, and be prepared to love Luther even more than you should.
Oh, also, I have another book, it's a Five Hargreeves X Male OC, I'm extremely proud with it so far and would love for you to go check it out if you're into that kind of stuff. Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter, love you all <3
-ash :)