It's been 2 weeks we moved to the new house and I love it. It's big and gorgeous. I will admit it hard not being with him. Nothing had been the same since that day I basically cut Vance out of my life. School has also been different but not in a good way. Everyone whispers when I walk by it's so weird. School is almost over though so I have that. Prom is next week and I don't have a date of course.
I walked to the lunch table Mary was there so was Paige. We sat and talked then everyone else came and a. New person too. This time it wasn't Emma is was Danna. I froze, I didn't know what to do. "So are you and Danna now a thing" Mary said flat out. "Yes we are" Danna snapped in a reply "uh yeah I guess so" Vance followed up. I just played with my nails. "Are you fucking serious vance I've known you since first grade. You know better". Paige said. "What I'm happy now". He said trying to make it all stop. "So you weren't happy when you were with jay" shit. It was quiet for 20 seconds but it was loud. "No". I snapped my head up. "Fuck you Vance like literally fuck you" Mary said. I've never seen this side of her. "Thanks for making sure I don't call you later because I really wanted to talk to you today but thanks for saving me a call Vance". I said and got up and left the table.
I grabbed my shit and left the school while walking away I heard yells from the table. "ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND VANCE JAY STILL LIKES YOU AND YOU THROW HER AWAY FOR SOME TRAMP THAT SLEPT WITH NOT ONLY THE WHOLE SCHOOL BUT JAYS BROTHER AS WELL". I couldn't hear anything after that. I walked home tears falling down my cheek. I walked in the house it was nice to be back home.
I went to my room and changed into my pjs. It's was only 1:23 though. I read a book I finished the book at 8:23. It was really good it was sad too. I went down stairs and went to the kitchen. I cut up some apples and got some peanut butter. I sat on the couch and put on a show. I looked down at my plate. I wasn't hungry anymore. I put the apples away and just watched tv. I woke up at 11 to my dad opening the door. "Hey munchkin." "hey" "why are you so sad" "it's nothing" "ok hun imma go to bed so goodnight sweet dreams" and he laid a kiss on my forehead.
I went upstairs and took went to bed. It was Saturday I just slept the whole day. Finally I had gotten up Bc I heard the door bell ring. "Hello" I answered the door. "Hi are you Jade Blakely". "Yeah why". "I just have to ask you a few questions can I come in". He said "no I'll just come out". I said I didn't want a man coming in my house while I'm alone so I went outside. "Are you alone right now". He asked. "No" I lied. "Ok do you know vance hopper" god what now. "Yes". "How do you know him" "we used to date" "do you still talk to him". "Yeah" I Lied. "Ok Well Vance was taken in to juvenile detention late last night for beating someone up last night and causing someone to go to the hospital. You were his only call but didn't answer the phone so I'm here to ask if you would like and coke nail him out". He makes no fucking sense. "How much it the bail". "256" "fine I'll get the money". We went to the bank and I got the money.
We got to the station and got out of jax car. "I'll go get him" I waited then I heard the door open. I didn't turn and look I just got up and walked out the door and held it open for him. We got to the car and I got in the driver seat. He got in as well. "Shouldn't I drive" he said "no" I replied with a simp no. "Listen im s-" "keep it to yourself I don't wanna hear how sorry you are and how you feel so bad and how you wish you could take it back because it's all bullshit and if I had given you what you wanted in the Bahamas this would have never happened I mean I knew you wanted your dick wet but not to the extent where you cheat on someone just for a blow job". I let everything out.
"You're right I wanted my duck wet but the reason I "cheated" on you was because you got distended". "I GOT DISTEND ARE YOU SERIOUS THE REASON I GOT THAT WAY WAS BECAUSE ALL YOU WANTED WAS SEX AND ALL I EVER WANTED AND WANT IS SOMEONE TO LOVE ME FOR WHO I AM AND NOT MY BODY". I started to cry a little. "AND WHEN YOU SAID AT THAT TABLE YOU NEVER LOVED ME YOU KNOW HOW THAT MADE ME FELT IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE A PEICE OF SHIT LIKE I WAS NEVER ENOUGH". He stood quiet. "Im sorry" "NO YOURE NOT" I pulled into a parking lot and got out and walked in the store. I went straight to the bathroom. I locked myself in the bathroom.
I started to cry and scream. I was never enough maybe I'm not perfect. Maybe I'm too fat. Maybe no one has loved me. Maybe everyone hates me. I looked at the toilet. I stuck my fingers In my mouth. I started to gage. It was horrible finally I threw up it didn't stop. After I finished I just started to cry again. I heard the door open. I got up and flushed the toilet. I walked out it was another women. "Are you ok I heard crying in here". "Yeah I'm fine" I walked right after.