Chapter 12, Facing Facts
I wrote Jo back telling her how happy I was that she was coming back home to Concord. When in truth I was dreading her home coming. I knew it was going to be an end for my beloved courtship with Laurie. I had yet to bring the matter up to talk to Laurie about it. But I knew when the time came Laurie was going to be thrilled to see Jo.
Sure, at first things might be fine with us. And we would try to stick it out in the end. But then Jo would reconnect with Laurie. I would find them together when I did not expect them to.
As well as Jo inviting herself along for our dates out. I could already see it coming. In fact it was giving me nightmares. I tossed and turned having restless sleeps at night from it.
Waking up in a cold sweat. One morning I woke and rubbed my poor temples. My head was throbbing a bit. I get out of bed. I had fresh water ready for me. Marmee had Hannah set it out for me already.
I go about my day trying to shoo sad thoughts from my head. I get dressed. I brush my long auburn hair. Then I place a bow in the middle. I glance at myself in the mirror.
I looked like I lost my best friend. I knew I lost both of them. Jo and Laurie. Maybe once I have gained all my money I could move back home. Reconnect with my old friends there. Though there was only Amy there. I could go be with Amy and aunt March. There was an idea! I sigh.
•✿︎︎•
"Oh, good morning, dear Fiona" Marmee spots me sitting on my bed there in the hallway.
"Hello! Good morning" I reply.
"Why do you look so sad love? Is it because you miss your parents?" she questions as she sits on the bed with me. I shake my head no.
"I can't say but I can say it is not that" I replied to her.
"Tell me. You know you can tell your old aunt anything" she reminds me as she hugs me.
"This I can't" I mutter. "Well, I might as well tell you"
"Go on"
"I am homesick. And I was thinking of going to stay with aunt March a bit and Amy. I miss her" I add.
"But Laurie? What about your courtship? You have been so happy with him. And he with you! What about Jo? She was coming home, and you looked forward to seeing her....oh...." Marmee says with a smile.
"Oh?!"
"Are you worried Jo and Laurie still have feelings there and he will forget about you when she comes home?" asks Marmee.
"Somewhat yes. I do not wish to stay when the time comes" I sigh.
"Jo has no feelings for Laurie other than brotherhood" says Marmee. "That professor she is smitten with him. She has talked about him in all the letters she sent home here"
"Yes, but they had a falling out in the last letter she sent. And she said she was homesick" I explain. "what if Laurie has feelings for Jo? What is he is not over her?" I worry.
"Only time can tell us, but you need to talk to Laurie" says Marmee.
"I can't talk to him about that. I hate to bring it up" I mutter. I lean my head on my knees as I hug them to my chest on the bed like a child.
"Laurie cares a great deal for you. I have not seen him this happy in a long time. Go talk to him" says Marmee.
"I think it would be easier if I went to go visit Amy" I laugh.
"Come have breakfast. Uncle went to go pick up Jo she arrives this afternoon" says Marmee.
"Lovely" I sigh.
•✿︎︎•
We headed downstairs. Having warm oatmeal with honey. And fresh bread that I had made with Hannah the night before. Then once we were done eating, I helped them clear the table.
We wash the dishes as well as tidy the kitchen up. I decided to stop worrying. If we did part ways, then I would move away from here that was all. There were always plenty of options for me.
Just my heart was settled on Laurie. I decided to pick fresh flowers for the table for tonight's dinner. If Jo was to be home, then it should be a lovely home coming for her. I did love my cousin. It was not fun being in the middle of a love triangle.
I always read about them in books. They seemed to be so romantic. But it was really gut wrenching. It was not romantic. It hurt. And I did not enjoy being in one at all. I would rather not be in one.
But here I was in one. I picked flowers that had a color scheme to it. That way it would make the table area pop out! Look homey.
"Hello, my darling girl" I hear a voice speak up.
"Laurie, hello!" I greet him.
•✿︎︎•
I turn around and he is standing there watching me. With a handsome smile on his face. He looked happy to see me. My heart skips a beat.
As it always did when he was around.
"What are you doing out here?" he wonders.
"Picking flowers for the dinner table tonight" I explain.
I show him the arrangement of flowers.
"Lovley work" he praises me.
"It is for when Jo is home for dinner tonight" I speak up.
His face falls a it to hear my news.
"Yes, I got a letter to from her about her return" says Laurie.
"It is wonderful to have my family back. Now if Amy would return soon" I chuckle as I try to seem alright with everything. Though inside it was killing me.
"I won't be joining you for dinner tonight though. I do hope you do not mind" says Laurie.
"Not the slightest" I answer him.
"Jo, welcome home!" I hear Hannah exclaim suddenly.
"Can I ask you something?" I begin to say to Laurie. "I do need to talk to you"
"You can ask me anything. You know that. But can it wait? I have to get going" Laurie looks rushed as he glances over at the house.
•✿︎︎•
He was not wanting to see Jo.
He was avoiding her at all costs. Therefore, he still had to have feelings for her deep down inside of him. This was not the news I had hoped to hear. But what I needed to know.
My heart sinks.
"Certainly" I say with a nod.
He touches my arm lightly with his hand before taking off back to his place. I brush a tear back. Jo was meant for Laurie. I knew it deep down inside of me. He was not meant for me. No matter how much I wished he was to be.
"Fiona! Capitol! You are here!" yells a happy go lucky Jo as she rushes in the back yard to greet me.
We hug.
"Jo do not use such slang words" I laugh.
"It is so good to be home again" Jo tells me.
"I am thrilled you are home! We do have much to catch up on!" I tell her.
"I know! My sister is having a baby? I am going to be an aunt" she laughs. "me" she looked so happy.
"I know" I giggle.
We head in the house. This triangle could wait for now. My heart had a crack in it ready to break. But that to could wait. Jo talks away as we head into the house together like old school chums do. It was nice to have her home.
Bonus Recipe:
There are 3 types of oats out there.
1) Quick Oats: These are more fine oats that can be cooked really quickly. You can certainly use those, but I don't recommend them because they are more processed in general and only save you an extra minute of cooking time.
2) Steel Cut Oats: This is the whole oat, unrolled and unprocessed type. These take the longest time to cook, and need at least 20 minutes on the stovetop. Be sure to also check out my tutorial on how to cook steel cut oats.
3) Old Fashioned Oats or Rolled Oats: In between the quick oats and steel cut oats, you'll find old fashioned or rolled oats. They are pretty similar, but the rolled ones are slightly rolled/pressed, which makes them more processed.
These are thicker than quick oats, so they need more time to cook. Either old fashioned oats or rolled oats work great for this recipe.
MICROWAVE COOKING INSTRUCTIONS:
Start by measuring the oats and liquids. The ratio is 1:2. The usual serving size is ½ cup oats to 1 cup of water, milk or combination of both. I like combining ½ a cup of water and ½ a cup of milk for the best consistency.
Then place in the microwave without a cover on it (we don't want any microwave accidents when the liquid boils). Microwave on high for 2 minutes and the consistency should be perfect.
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Thanks for reading!
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