‘I still don’t think this is a good idea, Eddie.’
“Of course you don’t. You never want me to have any fun unless it’s your kinda fun. Selfish.” Eddie tuts, chides the alien aloud as she walks down the street (never cares that onlookers probably think she’s just some crazy woman talking to herself.)
‘Wh – I am not selfish!’ Venom practically sputters.
“OK, not selfish.” Eddie smirks as she turns into the alleyway for a shortcut. “Just childish.”
‘Am not...’ Eddie scoffs out a highly amused laugh at his somewhat pathetic (childish) comeback, and this time, it doesn’t annoy Venom, only makes him feel (childishly) gleeful. ‘So, are you going to let me do something about this idiot that’s been following you for the last 5 minutes?’
Eddie smirks as she mumbles back, “Why do you think I took this shitty shortcut?”
‘He’s not even a little subtle. I feel almost embarrassed for him.’
Eddie can’t help chuckling at that. “Let’s see what he wants before you eat him, love, huh?”
‘Fine.’ Venom huffs, then, grumbles out, ‘But only because you called me “love”, this time, and not “parasite.”’
“You know you make it very easy to emotionally manipulate you, V.”
‘Shut up and turn around! He’s getting too close.’
Eddie huffs, though, not at Venom. She halts, like he tells her to, slowly turns to face the guy when she hears him only a few feet away from her now. She snorts, looks amused as her eyes are instantly drawn to the guy’s lavender-purple quaff, but most importantly, that stupid cocky smirk slapped across his face.
“You Edith Brock?”
“No.” Eddie says, tone stern.
‘He knows that idiot from last night. I can smell it all over him.’
“You a friend of Peter’s?” Eddie asks, half glaring at the guy. She doesn’t need Venom to tell her this guy is bad news. She can just feel it, somehow.
The guy shrugs nonchalantly. “I guess you could say that.”
“Uh-huh, well, say less. I’m busy. Bye.” Eddie turns away from him, knows instantly that was a bad idea when she feels an immense heat hitting her back. “V, wait –“
‘No!’ Venom doesn’t wait one moment longer as he floods forth, engulfing Eddie (keeping her safe.)
“I fucking knew it!” The guy laughs, backs away from the 9 foot tall creature, but annoyingly, he doesn’t seem too afraid of it.
‘I am going tear your ridiculously coloured head off!!’
“Ah, ah, ah!”
Venom halts instantly when the guy holds up both his hands, both fists literally curling furiously with fire.
‘Uh, V? What the fuck is that? Why did it have to be fuckin’ fire?!’
‘Stay calm, Eddie. I won’t let him hurt us again.’
‘Find out who this jackass is before you eat him. I am gonna kick Peter’s ass!’
The guy smirks, keeps the flames ready at both hands. “So, Eddie Brock is the Lethal Protector of San Francisco?” He laughs, shakes his head. “Look, I’m not here for a fight.” He smirks when the creature takes a step forward, holds his flaming hands up in warning.
“Then, why the shit did you try to burn Eddie?!” Venom snaps, eyes narrowing. For the moment, until he can get a hold of those damn hands, he’ll just have to keep this idiot talking (an effective trick he learned from Eddie.)
The guy shoots the creature an odd look, then, chuckles as he realises, “You’re not, Eddie, are you? You’re something else. You share one body.”
“And what business is that of yours?!” Venom snaps, manages to edge closer.
‘He’s just tryin’ to get inside your head, V. Don’t listen to him. He’s sellin’ somethin’ here, I can smell it. Don’t listen to any of it.’
“No business of mine.” The guy says, looks slightly beat as he adds, “I just owe someone a hundred damn bucks, but whatever, it’s–OH, FUCK!”
Venom grins up at him, tendrils now finally wrapped around the guy’s wrists. He tightens his hold until the guy yells out in pain and the flames engulfing his hands instantly fizzle out. “Eddie would like to know who you are –“ The symbiote’s tendrils flood over the guy’s fists, keeping him from using his ability again. Another tendril shoots out and wraps around the guy’s shoulders, slowly but surely edging up to his throat. ”– before I bite off your head.”
“Hey, look, man, I was sent here to recruit you into the Brotherhood Of Mutants! That’s all! I swear!”
Finally, the guy seems rather shaken, but both Eddie and Venom are annoyed that he isn’t pissing his ridiculous flamboyant green pants right now. Eddie huffs loudly in defeat, gets ready for the verbal abuse as she thinks, ‘Yeah, you can’t kill this guy, V. I am not dealin’ with goddamn mutants.’
“But he tried to hurt you!” Venom exclaims, then, sounds almost offended as he adds, “And his clothes are awful!”
“Hey!” The guy snips, seems to hardly notice he’s still dangling mid air in front of this creature’s gaping maw. “I’ll have you know that this outfit cost me 3, 000 dollars!”
Venom blinks, stares up at him for a moment, then, finally snaps, nay, practically begs, “Eddie, please let me kill him!”
‘No!’ Eddie huffs. ‘I mean, it’s very temptin’, sure, but do you seriously want Mag-fuckin’-neto on our asses?’
Venom scoffs. “He would probably thank us for getting rid of this one.”
“Hey, uh, Eddie? I’m guessing you’re still in there somewhere? We know what you are, what you both are.” The guy looks the creature in its wide pearly and pupil-less eyes, his tone finally serious as he tells them both, “There’s no pressure from us. Magneto just wanted to meet you, if anything.”
“Says the guy who tried to barbecue us!” Venom hisses, tightens his grips around the guy.
“Whoa! No! I was just checking to see if you were really you! I mean, if I’d have asked you, you wouldn’t have told me you were an alien!” The guy counters with a withering, but slightly panicked look. “I was instructed to make sure! I swear, dude!”
Venom’s eyes narrow at the guy, but he takes a moment to ask her (however reluctant he may feel.) ‘You promise we can go out to eat bad guys after your stupid date if I don’t eat this guy?’
‘I promise.’
Venom is happy when he hears no sarcasm in her tone, only truth. ‘Fine.’
‘Thank you. Now lemme talk, please?’
Venom narrows his eyes up at the guy, but ultimately huffs out, “It’s your lucky day, punk!”
Eddie can’t help smiling in amusement. ‘You watch too many movies, V.’
“Shut up!”
“I didn’t say anything! Fuck!”
“Not you, idiot!”
“Oh...”
Venom continues to glare at the guy as he finally dumps him back onto the ground. He shoots the guy’s ridiculous outfit one last disgusted look before finally retreating. ‘Ugh! Look at his pants, Eddie! I will never forgive you for this!’
The guy glares up at the creature, all the way up until it shrinks down and back into Eddie’s body, disappearing altogether. Still on the ground, he shoots her a sarcastic smile as he says, “Lovely friend you’ve got.” He huffs when she only laughs at him, finally lifts himself back onto his feet and dusts himself off.
“He doesn’t like it when strangers try to assault me with literal fire balls shootin’ outta their hands.”
‘Your sarcasm really is outstanding, Eddie.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Welcome... love.’
Eddie holds in a snort, but can’t help teasing. ‘See, when you say that it just sounds sarcastic.’
‘Fine! I’ll never say it again!’ Venom huffs out (childishly... stupid Eddie.)
‘I’m just teasin’... Jesus.’
“OK, my bad. Next time, I’ll just ask if someone isn’t human.”
‘Hmm. His isn’t too bad, either.’
‘Oh, go bond with him, then!’
‘And why would I do that?’
‘Didn’t mind body hoppin’ your way through half the city, partyin’ your nose clean off your face, though, did you?’
‘That was ONE time!’
‘Sorry. I’m just fuckin’ tired, V.’ Eddie huffs. “I’m not joinin’ your weird little evil mutant cult, OK? I’m not even a mutant.”
“We don’t discriminate. We’re trying to build an army here.”
“Yeah. Hard pass. Not a soldier, either.”
“Alright.” The guy nods, keeps talking when she turns. “By the way, Peter didn’t ask you out on a date, he’s gonna try to get you to join the X-Men.”
Eddie halts again, grits her teeth as she hears Venom snapping, ‘That lying son of a bitch!’