“Ew.” Eddie wrinkles her face in disgust before she can even try to stop herself. Well, she is staring at a severed head unceremoniously stuffed into her friend’s freezer.
“What’d you mean, ‘ew’?” Anne huffs, also staring at the head. The head of her asshole ex-boyfriend. Maybe she, too, has grown so used to the alien sharing her friend’s body. “You’re the one who did this.”
“Um, no.” Eddie narrows her eyes a little. “Your precious VV is the one who did this.”
Venom immediately sprouts forth from Eddie’s shoulder. “Because you wanted us to!”
“I want to still be lyin’ in my bed, because it’s Sunday.” Eddie counters, shoots him a pointed look.
Venom huffs, but is calm as he turns to Annie and says, “I can’t eat it if it’s cold.”
Eddie sighs, feels guilty as she says, “You don’t have to eat him, V. We can go out tonight, like I promised.” And also maybe because she doesn’t want either her or Anne putting the damn severed head in the oven to heat up. But mainly because she knows Venom can’t stand... dead meat.
‘Thank you, Eddie.’ Venom turns to shoot her a toothy grin. “But then, what do we do about this?” He asks as he turns, his head slowly floating over to the open freezer.
“Whatever Annie wants.” Eddie says pointedly.
“Annie doesn’t give a shit, as long as it’s gone before 7 p.m. tonight.” Anne says, wears a sweet smile, though, her voice is stern as she glances between the two.
Eddie huffs, stares at the head again as she contemplates. “Acid bath?”
“And where would you even get the acid?” Anne asks, half serious, half amused.
Eddie scowls, sighs deeply as she says, “I think we’re gonna have to eat him, after all, V.”
“But he’s dead.” Venom grumbles.
“Well, then, you should’ve eaten his head before, when you damn well tore it off of him.” Eddie tells him. “Or not at all, and then, we wouldn’t even be here.”
“...Fine!” Venom huffs. “But I’m not eating a cold head.” He all but demands with a clear grimace of disgust.
“OK, no problem. I’m sure Annie won’t mind lettin’ us stick him in the oven for 5 minutes...” Eddie smiles all too sweetly as she turns to face her friend.
Anne’s eyes widen in horror as she mumbles out, “Oh, God... fine! But wait until I open all the windows. I don’t want my house smelling of head.” She glares when both Eddie and Venom let out equally childish snorts. “You’re both perverts. Grow up!”
●●●
“Well, that was fun.”
‘It was? You never –‘
Eddie smirks when she hears him growling in her head as he realises. “Still haven’t got a handle on the whole sarcasm thing, huh?”
‘Well... you are very good at it.’ Venom’s deep voice huffs in her mind.
Eddie smiles as she chirps out a proud (and sarcastic), “Thank you.”
‘Welcome.’
Eddie holds in a laugh, because yeah, he really can’t pick out sarcasm all that well (which is funny and ironic, because he’s really good at it, himself.) “So, what snacks are on the list for tonight, V? Lemme guess – choc’ and ‘tots?” She asks as they near Mrs. Chen’s little convenience store.
‘And Fruit Loops. Strawberry Fruit Loops... and don’t forget that tonight is the last ever episode of The Big Bang Theory. We cannot miss it!’
Eddie bites back a fond smile and rolls her eyes. Besides the fact of how her (annoyingly infectious) alien religiously watches all of his favourite shows, he’s got a new obsession with mixing all three together in the largest mixing bowl they have... Eddie thinks it’s gross.
‘No, you don’t.’
“Yeah, only when you finally run out of the ‘tots and it’s less of a disgusting concoction.” Eddie notes as she pushes the door open and steps into the store. “Evenin’, Mrs. Chen. How’s it hangin’?”
“Short, shrivelled and always to the right.” Mrs. Chen replies in that usual drawl and rather miserable tone of hers.
Eddie holds in a snort of amusement as she passes the counter and delves into the freezer isles to grab a few bags of tater tots.
“Venom not coming out tonight?” Mrs. Chen asks, now more of a playful tone to her voice.
Eddie smirks as she walks back to the counter and shoves the bags of tater tots up onto it. “I’m pretty sure he’s just sulkin’ until I give him his weird ass alien sugar high.”
‘Am not!’ Venom hisses, quickly sprouts a tiny tendril out from Eddie’s back and waves it at Mrs. Chen, who smiles fondly at his little tendril, waves back (even though she’s still not sure of how much he can really see without completely taking Eddie over... she still doesn’t remember too much from when he “possessed” her that one time...) “V, get back in. Someone’s comin’.” Eddie tells him, feels him instantly (for a change) listen to her as his tendril quickly shoots back and seeps back into her clothes and then skin. Over the last year or so, now that they argue a lot less and have a better understanding of one another, Venom’s heightened senses seem to be passed over to her, too. Venom insists that it’s their bond growing stronger, and Eddie believes that, can feel it herself, but she also has a small suspicion that he’s been holding back.
‘Have not.’ Venom grunts, deep voice rumbling through her mind, almost comforting.
‘Is that a lie I smell?’ Eddie smirks to herself when she only hears him grumbling unintelligible words. ‘Whatever. It’s all good, V. We’re good now, right?’ She thinks, turns back to the isles to gather the rest of their items.
‘Of course.’ Eddie doesn’t notice while she’s busy picking out her own snacks for tonight, but Venom sees most things (for a reporter, she’s not all that observant... though, only sometimes.) He doesn’t need to manifest himself from her body when he can just use the simple magic of her eye sight. He often does it without her noticing, mainly because he doesn’t need her to, he’s just being an extra pair of eyes for safety. Although, when the door finally springs open, Eddie decides to turn her back (her and her stupid beer!) Venom grumbles to himself, carefully and slowly sprouts the tiniest head from her neck, so slow that Eddie doesn’t even seem to notice (clearly stuck on her decision for alcohol.) Venom uses her distraction to take a look at the man that walks in. His eyes narrow, but he thinks nothing of it as the guy walks right over to the counter, doesn’t even look their way.
“What are you doin’? Do you want us to end up havin’ to move when people realise where the Lethal Protector lives?” Eddie hisses quietly, reaches a hand up to shove his tiny face back into her neck.
‘I was just looking!’ Venom hisses back. Though, he instantly retreats just as the man turns to look their way.
Eddie keeps her gaze on the beer, finally decides on a six pack of Desperado (not too heavy, but it’ll still give her a nice buzz... if a certain alien allows her that buzz... buzz-kill.)
‘I will allow it tonight, Eddie. For you... and for The Big Bang Theory, of course.’
“Of course.” Eddie scoffs out quietly, but can’t help smiling.
‘Don’t forget the Fruit Loops!’
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
Venom knows she’s being sarcastic (pats himself on the “back” for finally noticing), but he doesn’t care. She’s still walking to the fridge at the back, still pulling out a bunch of the strawberry flavoured tubes of gooey goodness he loves so much (almost as much as he loves chocolate, maybe even almost as much as he loves Eddie...)
“They do chocolate ones, too. You want?”
‘Do you even have to ask?’
Eddie can’t help chuckling. “Hey, see, love, you’re finally gettin’ the hang of the sarcasm thing. Go, you!”
‘I can’t tell if you’re really cheering me on or if that’s sarcasm...’
Eddie chuckles again when she sees his pearly white eyes narrowing in her mind. “See, now you really are gettin’ the hang of it.” Venom seems to purr happily, proudly, and the rumbling should wrack her head (like it first used to), but now, it’s a welcome comfort.
“Uh, excuse me, are you Eddie Brock?”
Eddie winces at both being recognised and the fact that Venom’s annoyed (annoyed at letting himself be startled) hiss that practically deafens her. ‘Easy, V. Jesus.’
‘Sorry...’ Venom mutters, then, grumbles, ‘Who the hell is this idiot?’
‘I’ll find out, if you shut up.’ Eddie bites back a smirk at his annoyed little grunt as she slowly turns to face the guy. “Uh... no.” She clears her throat, clutches her beer and Venom’s Fruit Loops tightly to her chest. “No... I am not.” Her voice is a lot firmer, but no less confident.
‘Very convincing, Eddie.’
‘Shut it!’ Eddie hisses, deeply regrets teaching him about fucking sarcasm!
‘That's nothing. You regret teaching me a lot worse than that, Eddie.’
‘V, I swear to –‘
‘Fine!’
“Are you sure about that?” The guy shoots her a playful little smirk as he takes the newspaper snugly tucked under his arm and holds up the front page to her. “That’s not you?” He chuckles, clearly amused, clearly not taking the hint as Venom narrows Eddie’s eyes (of course with some protest from Eddie...) “Sure looks a lot like you.” He says, holds the paper up to see for himself.
“OK, yes, it’s me. I’m Eddie Brock.” Eddie huffs. ‘Let me handle this, bud.’ She tells her other half. “And it’s my night off. So, if you don’t mind –“ She shoots him a small, but polite enough smile. And thank her lucky stars (technically the stranger’s luck if Venom has his own way) that he doesn’t try to stop her when she brushes passed him.
“Oh, uh, I’m just a fan, is all. Followed you for quite a while.” The guy’s smile drops when she turns to glare at him and he realises just how that must have sounded. “No, not in a creepy way. I’ve watched your career, is what I meant.”
Eddie blinks, because why the hell does the guy speak so damn fast?
‘And why is his hair silver? It looks stupid.’
‘Yeah, I think it’s his real hair colour, V. Look at his eyebrows... he’s pretty pale, too... Are Vampires a thing now?’ Eddie doesn’t need to ask Venom to sniff him out, because her own very human nose tries not to wrinkle at the heavy scent of whatever cheap cologne the guy’s wearing.
‘He still smells funny. You can’t smell it?’
‘Yeah... what is that?’
‘Don’t know. But don’t like it.’
‘Well, you’re certainly a fountain of knowledge.’ Eddie huffs. “You want an autograph or somethin’?”
“Actually, no.” He smiles sheepishly. “My name’s Peter... uh, Peter Maximoff. I actually wanted to ask if you’re free tonight? Just for drinks, obviously. No funny business, I swear.”
Eddie shoots the odd guy an odd look, but he seems harmless enough.
‘He does. But you told me looks can be deceiving, Eddie.’
‘Yeah... but that’s what I have you for, remember? For “protection.”’
‘Don’t you dare!’ Venom roars, can’t even help his stupid voice cracking in her mind. ‘You promised, Eddie!’
“I’m actually busy tonight, sorry.” Eddie shoots him an apologetic smile.
Peter arches a brow, smirks in amusement. “Didn’t you say it’s your night off tonight?”
‘I don’t like this guy.’
‘You don’t like anybody.’
‘I like Annie!’
Eddie holds back a scoff (even holds back a mental scoff.) ‘Exactly. Wow. One person.’
Peter chuckles. “OK, then, how about tomorrow sometime instead?”
“Is this you askin’ to pick my brains, or you askin’ me out on a date?” Eddie arches a brow, smirks slightly.
‘I WILL DEVOUR HIM WHOLE BEFORE HE CAN PICK YOUR BRAINS, EDDIE!!!’
‘God damn, V, it’s just a fuckin’ expression! Are you tryin’ to give me a fuckin’ aneurism?!’
‘Oh... sorry.’
“Are you OK?” Peter looks slightly concerned when he sees her wince, sees the pain flash across those pretty greeny-blue orbs.
“Headache.” Eddie says, pointedly thinks, ‘Parasite.’
‘Apologise! Right now!’ Venom quietly hisses.
‘Nope.’ Eddie smiles at the guy when she sees he looks genuinely concerned.
‘Ohh, of course, it has nothing to do with him wanting to get into your panties.’
Eddie ignores the tiny little thrill she gets whenever he says that stupid word (whenever he goddamn has to mention her panties!)
“OK.” Peter doesn’t look entirely convinced, but he seems to forget quickly when he shoots her that cute little sheepish smile.
‘I’ve seen cuter.’
Eddie bites back another scoff.
“I, uh, well, I was thinking about just getting to know each other... but uh, yeah, it’s me asking for a date.”
‘See? Told you he just wanted to get into your –‘
‘V, shut up, or I’ll put all the chocolate back.’ Venom grumbles, but does as he’s told, and Eddie smirks at the kid, because he must be at least 10 years younger than her (either that, or he ages really well...) “How old are you?”
Peter chuckles when she shoots him a playfully suspicious look. “27.”
“Huh.” Eddie nods her approval.
‘Cradle robber...’
Eddie ignores him, because she can get him back for all this shit later (fucking plans on it! ...She’s only in her mid 30s, for crying out loud!) “OK, yeah, sure.” She nods, smiles.
‘NO!’
‘Yep.’
Payback’s a bitch, isn’t it?