Sage Williams
"Sage, I really don't think going to this party is the best idea. Do you even know anyone here?" Rory asked, speaking quietly as we walked the line with everyone else to get into the Sigma Pi house.
I smiled at her. "Loosing up a bit best friend. Didn't you want me to have fun with you? If I'm not mistaken, you were the one trying to get me to go hard at Penn State parties right?"
She blinked. "Yes, but this is a whole different college. In a whole different state–"
"I'm half Michigander, remember?" I shot her a wink as the front door appeared in eyes view. I heard the remixed club music and my skin started to crawl with anxiety. Did I really want to do this?
"Is this because of what happened between you and your brother earlier? I saw you guys arguing as I got on the bus. Just know I am all ears and I'm waiting to hear." We were second in line now.
A group of three girls in front of us were stopped before the two guys at the door turned them away. "Why are they turning them away?" Rory whispered. I shushed her as it was our turn next. I flashed a smile at the two boys in polos in front of me.
They stared at Rory and me, sizing us up inch by inch. Never have I ever felt so degraded in my life but five seconds later, they waved us into the house and it was like the ten-second degradation was worth it. I just needed to party. I needed to get my feelings out of my system. I didn't need to be numb, I needed to be rock solid and drunk.
There was a smoke machine, multiple strobe lights and the music was so loud, the floor was shaking with might. "Oh my god!" Rory yelled as I squealed. I took her hand and pulled her with me as we shoved through the crowd.
As we reached the kitchen, the louder the people got. The music was drowned out by the party-goers trying to grab shots and drinks. Rory's face flushed bright pink as we shoved past many people with tongues out.
I giggled as we finally made it to the front of the makeshift bar. "What do you want?" I asked Rory loudly. She shrugged.
"I'll take whatever you're having!" She yelled.
Sweet, okay.
At the makeshift bar stood three guys. All three with their shirts off, their skin was the menu. No, like, literally, they had the menu of beer, mixed drinks, shots, and the prices written in glow-in-the-dark markers across their front body.
"What can I get you?" The one with blonde hair asked me.
I smiled. "Two shots of tequila, two shots of vodka, and two beers."
The guy's eyes widened before quickly responding. "Okay. ID."
I furrowed my eyebrows. "You guys ID here?" I asked.
He nodded. "Are you not from here?" He asked.
I shook my head and he chuckled, holding his hand out for my ID that I had plastered to the back of my phone. Luckily before I went to college, I was smart enough to invest in something that many college students had. A Fake ID.
"Sarah? Sarah Rockwell?" He asked.
I nodded. Yep. Sarah Rockwell, that's me.
He compared my face and the girl on the ID before nodding and passing it back to me. "Well Sarah, I'm Connor. Welcome to Michigan State."
"Nice to meet you, Connor–"
I was cut off by someone standing right next to me, greeting the boy behind the counter. "Two beers!" A guy yelled. Connor tilted his head before reaching for a water hose and spraying down the guy next to me. Rory and I slapped our hands over our mouths as we watched the guy get drenched.
"Dude! What the fuck!" The guy roared.
Connor and his two friends laughed. "Don't interrupt me." He answered.
"Now, I'll grab your things, Sarah. One moment," He smiled at me.
Rory snorted before whispering in my ear. "Sarah? You don't even look like a Sarah. You could've gone with another color or hell, even a flower. You look like a Rose or a Petunia." I scoffed.
Quickly Connor returned, hands carrying all of our fun drinks. He passed Rory and me the shots first. However, I noticed that he was carrying shots for himself too. I raised an eyebrow as he shrugged.
"It's a tradition. New state, take a shot." Stupid explanation but quickly Rory and I hammered down our shots with Connor before taking our beers.
"How much do I owe you, Connor?" I asked.
He winked. "How about a dance later?"
Rory held back her chuckle before digging her nails into my back. I smiled awkwardly at him. I still wasn't used to being hit on. No matter how many times I got hit on now, I still wasn't used to it. Hell, sometimes I think whenever someone is hitting on me they are doing it as a joke. I guess that is what you get when you have spent your entire life as a moth amongst butterflies. This is why you shouldn't let your kids attend school.
I nodded, and a smug grin appeared on his face.
I gripped Rory's wrist in my hand before pulling her with me as we started to dance. I never really drank, so I was going to try my best to pace myself. I wasn't a lightweight but I knew that too many would send me over the edge.
The alcohol was working its way through my body.
As the world was moving fast, in my eyes it was moving so slowly. The room was ten times hotter now. The world was much more louder now. As my eyes moved to a couple in the corner, a guy with his hands all over a girl's body, I felt the earth around me start to shatter.
I wanted that.
I had that.
But it fucking got ruined.
"What's wrong!" Rory yelled over the music. She sipped at her beer.
I shook my head. "Nothing! I need another drink!" I yelled. Despite just having two shots and a half-full beer in my hand, I quickly chugged the beer after speaking.
She frowned at me as I pulled her arm to move with me but she shook her head. "I'll stay, you grab another drink." I tried to argue with her, explaining to her that she should come with me because I didn't want to lose her but she kept reassuring me that it was okay.
I pushed through the crowd trying to get back to where Connor was making drinks and once I reached him at the counter, a smile appeared even wider on his face. "Can't seem to stay away from me tonight, huh?" He teased me.
Shrugged. "Must be the case," I whispered.
He sighed. " What can I get you beautiful?"
He called me beautiful.
A guy called me beautiful.
And although a guy calling me beautiful should unleash a kaleidoscope of butterflies inside my stomach, all it did was make me feel sick. A guy called me beautiful, why can't I feel beautiful?
"Um, let's do four shots of vodka?" His eyebrows raised.
"More shots?" He asked for clarification.
I nodded.
"What happened to the beer? You don't look like you can hold that much–" I cut him off, crossing my arms over my chest. I sighed in frustration. "Look, I really need the shots."
He caved, grabbing plastic shot glasses and pouring vodka in them, going down a line. "I'll give them to you if you tell me why the pretty girl wants to drink so much?" I reached for one of them, throwing it back.
As I grimaced and coughed after swallowing he smiled at me. "Ah, so Sarah, who is not from Michigan State and desperately needs alcohol, doesn't ever drink alcohol? Interesting."
I rolled my eyes. "We're in a frat house, not at a psychology office. Let me drink in peace." I reached for the rest of the shots. He gave up his fight and allowed me to take my shots in peace.
I wanted to forget about everything, not talk it out.
As I turned to go and walk back to Rory, I ran into a girl, spilling my shots on her. "Oh gosh, I'm so sorry!" I apologized. Her dark hair covered her eyes until she looked up into mine. My mouth dropped open.
"Alex?" I asked.
She smiled.
"Sage? Oh my god! How have you been? I haven't seen you since...." I knew where she was going and I wanted to abort the conversation as quickly as possible. I nodded.
"Yeah. It's been a couple of months." I smiled at her.
I went to bend down to pick up the plastic shot glasses but she held out her hand. "Don't worry, the pledges will clean them up. Trust me, they need some discipline." Her voice became loud as she spoke to me, and the music became louder in the room.
My eyes scanned the room for Rory, who was making her way toward me, her beer still in her hand. "You okay?" Rory asked, approaching us.
I nodded. "Yeah, um, Alex this is Rory." I introduced them to others.
"Oh is this your girlfriend?" She asked.
I shook my head. "No, this is my amazing roommate. Rory and I both go to Penn State." Rory and Alex smiled at each other. Alex tried to move her hair out of her face but her hair and shirt were sopping wet due to my vodka spilling all over her.
"Oh geez, I'm so sorry your shirt is ruined. I am such a clutz." I apologized.
"Not a big deal, I'll just run upstairs and grab another one. Do you guys want to come? It's quieter up there so we can catch up. Two months feels like forever!" I reached down, linking my hand with Rory's.
Rory nodded eagerly, wanting nothing more than to be upstairs and away from these loud Michigan State students. "Yeah, let's go." We walked through the crowd of people, slowly approaching the stairs. There was a guy, assembling a pledge standing at the bottom of the stairs, guarding so nobody went upstairs unattended. As soon as he saw Alex, his smile brightened, stepping to the side so we could walk upstairs.
"So, um, your top shit here aren't you?" I asked. She looked back at me as we were climbing the steps. She shrugged, "My boyfriend–or hookup– or whatever college guys call it is the president of this fraternity. We met on tinder and we bonded over Harry Potter movies after our hookups." My eyebrows raised as we reached a bedroom door at the end of the hallway.
"Shhh, don't tell him I've let you into his chambers. He hates it when people are in here." She whispered as she shut the door behind us.
Rory squeezed my arm, and I faced her as Alex went to change– even though it wasn't anything I hadn't already seen before.
"I think that we should leave after this– don't you?" She whispers.
I sigh, shrugging. "I don't know, it's kinda fun not being anyone's daughter or anyone's sister at this college. None of these people know who I am and I'm just able to get shitfaced." I was able to get shitfaced and cry about today and none of these people would know who I am. None of these people would even care, and that's the best part about it.
"What happened today, Sage? You aren't yourself at all..." Rory looked at me, concern written all over her face.
My lips pursed. "My brother and I just got into a horrible fight and Blaise is annoying me. I just really would like to party for a little while longer to feel something other than anger and sadness today, is that okay?" I asked.
It took her a minute to process my words but when she did she nodded. "Yes, of course. And I'll be right by your side the entire time bestie. But if you go down in flames, I'm dragging you out sister."
I smiled brightly at her. The room was starting to spin a bit.
"Come on, chug your beer let's get fucked up!" I teased.
She sighed, a smile on her face as she stared at me. "Nope, I'm being responsible."
Alex came back out of the closet with a Michigan State shirt on. "Did someone say they wanted to get fucked up? I could get us all fucked up." She asked, a teasing glint in her eyes. I tilted my head at her.
"Depends? What do you have?"
In high school, Alex was known for throwing big parties. I was never invited to any of them until we graduated. In fact, the only party of hers that I had been to before was her birthday party where she shattered my heart into a million pieces.
But at those parties, she was known for having crazy stuff there. Stuff that high school kids shouldn't be introduced to. Like cocaine, weed, sex, sex toys, Adderall, and more. She had crazy stuff.
But now that she was in college, I can only imagine the crazy shit she was getting into now.
She winked at me teasingly before waving us over to the closet. "My boyfriend is the campus dealer. He gets all of the good stuff." Oh good god.
Rory yanked at my arm but I didn't let her hold me back. Hey, weed doesn't give you a hangover, so why not?
"He just got these gummies in. They have the good stuff in them." She reached into a bookbag, grabbing two baggies out. One bag held gummy bears, the other held resembled a peach ring.
"You want to get fucked up? These will have you seeing Jesus in five minutes." She shook the bags, handing them out to me. I turned to face Rory.
"You sure you don't want one Rory? The smallest bite isn't going to kill you..." I lead off. Rory stared at them, debating before shaking her head again.
"Nah, go ahead. You take one for me." She said,
Alex had already opened the bag with the peach rings and eaten one. I reached for a gummy bear, shoving one into my mouth and chewing it. It didn't taste bad, but it had the strong aroma of weed.
"So, how have you been? Is your brother ready to get his ass kicked tomorrow?" She teased, a knowing smile on her face. Rory scoffed loudly.
"I hope he gets his ass kicked tomorrow. He deserves it," I muttered.
Alex frowned. "You know, I think that getting your braces off and getting contact lenses is the best thing to ever happen to you." She remarked.
Kind of a rude comment, but that's just how blunt she could be sometimes. I nodded. "Blaise is back in town," I added.
Her eyes widened. "No effing way! Oh my god, did you two fuck like hyenas yet?" I laughed and shook my head.
"No, we aren't like that. We aren't even friends. He's nothing but a bunch of memories." Alex stood up and walked towards Rory and me.
"We should head back downstairs or else he's going to come up here and yell." She said He yells at her. Oh god.
As we all walked out of the room, I started to feel things that I certainly hadn't felt with an edible before. I was salivating. I was spinning, and most of all, I usually went mute when I was high. I was ready to talk my ass off.
"Oh my god, I love this song!" I yelled as I grabbed Rory's arm, pulling her through the crowd of people.
"I'm going to go get a beer! I'll see you all in a little bit!" Alex yelled over the music. I gave her a thumbs-up as I pulled Rory with me.
"Let's dance!" I yelled.
Rory's eyes widened.
As I joined a group of people, I started to feel my body heat up. I felt the desire and need to be touched. I was craving it. I was dripping down my body. I felt like a hose had just exploded all over the front half of me. I was losing it.
"Sage?" Rory called my name as I smiled at her, not able to speak.
I twirled on my feet before climbing on top of an open surface area. Everyone around me started to cheer as I started to feel myself up on top of the counter. "Sage! I can see up your dress! Oh my god!" Rory yelled as she reached for me but I smacked her hand away.
Somewhere the lines blurred.
I was dancing my ass off for thirty minutes. It was like my mind went blank and so did my vision. I was here but I wasn't actually here. Nothing pulled me out of this until someone was standing directly in front of my legs.
Oh my god, I was so horny.
His eyes were bright blue. I don't know if it was the edible. Or maybe the vodka. Or just me. But his eyes looked the same as they did when we were younger. They were the same color as my favorite lollipop. A blue raspberry sucker.
My Blaise.
He stepped closer to me. His face was inches away from the center of my legs. Has he always been this tall? Had he always stared at me like the way he was now? He was undressing me with his eyes. Please undress me, I want to be undressed.
"There she fucking is! Oh my god, what the hell is she doing up there? What is she wearing!" Slater bitched at me, trying to grab my leg.
No.
I don't want Blaise to stop staring at me.
I kicked Slater which made him drop my leg and frown up at me. Blaise's eyes didn't leave me once. He kept staring at me. So I stepped closer to him. So close that he could stare up my skirt. So close that he could kiss my legs. Oh my god, fucking kiss me.
But then Rory's face came into view.
What the hell? Did she call them?
And suddenly, my fun night of forgetting turned real once again. I stopped staring at Blaise and I didn't stare at Slater because everyone else was staring at them. Everyone else was staring at them while they were staring up at me.
"Sage! Let's go, time to go!" Rory yelled over the music. I rolled my eyes and held back my tears of annoyance. I didn't need to leave. I didn't need to leave especially with Blaise and Slater when they were the whole reason why I was here in the first place. I wanted to escape.
I climbed down from the table spreading my legs so that if he wanted to look he could. If he wanted to touch me— he could. I whimpered as his eyes didn't leave my face. Leave my face. Stare at something else but me. Stop staring at me like that. It makes it harder for me to hate you.
I didn't want to feel like myself.
"Rory, I don't want to leave. I want to get drunk and fucking party. Why are these two here?" I asked glaring at Slater and Blaise.
"We just decided to come to the party. We are rekindling our friendship." Slater spoke.
I couldn't help the laugh that left my lips. "Good. Great then you'll have each other as best friends so you both can leave me the fuck alone. I hate you both."
Rory grabbed my hand, dragging me out of the house. "Sage we have to go, please. We can party tomorrow. I don't like how you are being right now. It scares me."
I giggled.
"What? It's only a little bit of weed and a ton of alcohol." I teased. Okay, maybe it was more than weed. I hadn't had an edible that made me feel like this in a while. Hell, I hadn't ever felt this horny before in my life. I was practically purring.
And it didn't help that Blaise was right there, purring in tune with me.
"Come on, Sage. Don't you want to party after we win tomorrow?" Slater asked me. For the first time since I yelled at him on the tarmac, I stared at him. I whipped my head around and stared at him so harshly that I wished my eyes could set him on fire.
He ruined my life.
"I hope you lose. But either way, I'll still be celebrating." I said sarcastically to him.
"Sage, what has gotten into you tonight? You went from not even wanting me to drink at parties to this, are you okay?" Rory asked, rubbing my back. She asked that question to me earlier but now, I didn't want to give her a more thorough answer. I just wanted to go back to that sweaty frat kitchen.
"Oh, nothing. I'm fine, trust me. Just wanted to party. Nothing to celebrate." I answered.
Rory placed her head in her hands. "Sage, please. Let's go back to the hotel. I will buy us pizza."
"I don't want to leave, Rory. Go back with the two of them." I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Plus, Alex was here. I knew someone.
I could be alone. But then the most annoyingly handsome person I knew spoke.
"Slater, Rory go head back. I'll spend time with her. I'll watch over her from a distance. Let her have fun, she's going through a lot today. Let her party it out." I acted as if I didn't care but I did. Please fucking leave. I don't want to be stuck with you. I just want to forget about you and everything around you.
"No, Blaise. It's okay. You don't have to stay here with her. It's fine–" Slater spoke but Blaise cut him off. I walked away from them and started to spin, ignoring them. I didn't want to be near them.
"Let her be with me. Please?" I heard Blaise whisper.
"So what? You'll play babysitter for the next couple of hours until she crashes?" Rory asked. Let me stay alone. I didn't want to be near them. I thought Rory was on my side.
"It gives me more time to stare at her," Oh my god, why did he sound so fucking hot to me right now?
No, don't leave me alone with this guy, Rory.
"Fine. You play babysitter. But don't allow her to drink anymore. She needs to be up for the game tomorrow. It's important. Please?" Rory asked.
He started to walk closer to me. No, go away.
"Sage." My name sounded so sweet coming out of his mouth.
"I've nothing to say to you," I answered. A smile grew on his lips and if I would have known better, I would've smacked it off. Don't smile at me. Don't even look at me. Don't touch me. You lied to me. You left me. You broke my heart. For my brother?
"Good. Just wanted to let you know that I'll hang back here and watch you. Continue carrying on." He answered, his stupid fucking smile growing.
"No. Leave." I walked back into the house.
"I'm on babysitting duty. Let me know when you're ready to go home!" He yelled.
No– fuck you! Don't think you have the right to tell me what to do. You don't have that right at all. You lost anything and everything entitled to me the second that you decided to leave me about an issue that you couldn't even communicate with me.
"What if I don't want to go back to my hotel room? What if I wanted to sleep with someone?" I yelled back at him. He leaned against the pillar as I waited in the door. His arms crossed as he smiled at me.
"I'll still be there Sage." No, you won't.
I scoffed, pushing myself into the house and away from him.
The music was loud and unenjoyable.
The people were annoying.
The smell of sweat ruined this experience.
I kept looking around until I stumbled into a pair of arms.
"Woah, watch where you're going, Sarah," Connor said in my ear as I landed in his arms. He smelled so good compared to the stench of sweat. His mouth smelled like mint gum and his body shook as he laughed at me in his arms.
"Sarah? Who the hell is Sarah, that's Sage." I spun out of his arms to see Alex standing in between a guy's legs. Oh, so this must be the frat president.
Connor laughed again, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me into his lap as we sat down at a table. Wait, I didn't want to sit down with him though?
"Sage." I heard Blaise call my name.
I slowly heard people start to say his name in disbelief.
I liked sitting in Connor's lap now.
I watched as Alex started to kiss and lick at her boyfriend's neck, slowly grinding her body back against his. "Hot isn't it?" Connor whispered in my ear. Slowly his hand started to travel up my legs.
My mind was screaming no, but my body was screaming yes.
"Oh my god, babe. The ecstasy in those gummies are going go have you seeing stars when I fuck you tonight." Ecstasy? Holy shit. Was I drugged? I mean, more than just the normal edible? Holy shit? Is this why I'm so horny?
"So how do you two know each other?" Alex's boyfriend asked.
Alex's head was tilted down but she still answered, perking up and throwing her head back against his chest. With a giggle, she answered.
"Baby, don't you remember me telling you about this? We lost our virginities together?"
My face flushed bright red. "How many dicks have you taken, Sarah?" Connor whispered in my ear.
I swallowed hard to try to find my words. "Um– I-"
My words were cut off because Alex sat right up, wide-eyed along with her boyfriend.
"Her name is Sage and you shouldn't talk to women like that." Goosebumps appeared on my skin as I heard Blaise's voice.
"Well, well, well. Look who turned up from the dead." Alex teased Blaise. As she stood up, I waved bye to everyone, taking off so the attention could be on Blaise. I didn't want to be near him. Or near the people who would kiss the ground he walked on.
I walked out of the house, the cold air hitting my face.
I crossed my arms over my chest, my nipples poking through my dress as the air whipped around me. I can't go anywhere. I can't do anything. I can't escape him.
"Sage! Wait!" He yelled.
I continued to walk on the sidewalk.
"Sage, come back!" He yelled at me. I continued to walk, I felt the tears poke at my eyelids once again. No, go away.
I just wanted college to be different. I wanted to be able to do something without him. I wanted to come to Michigan and go to this party without him. I just wanted to be without him even if it hurts more than him standing five feet behind me.
I just wanted him to explain. I wanted him to beg for me. I wanted him to tell me he was sorry and that he meant it. I hate this. I deserved so much better. I deserved answers.
"Please, Sage." He reached for my shoulders, stopping me from walking.
As soon as my eyes walked with his, he saw the tears sitting in my eyes.
"Fuck, Sage. Please."
And then I exploded into a pile of tears.
My hands slammed against his chest as I cried so hard that I couldn't see through my eyes. I walked down the street, him following me and my cries.
"Don't cry. Don't cry over me– I'm not worth your tears." I walked toward the campus, hoping that I could find someplace for closure. But no matter where I went, he would follow me. He was always here.
Even if I hadn't felt him in the last two years, he was always here.
My luck finally shined as I approached a well-lit greenhouse about fifteen feet. I let my feet carry me quickly into the night sky as I opened the door to the house. I didn't care if he followed me. I would be safe here.
Plants have always been my friends and I knew I could feel more at home with them than anyone. I shut the door behind me and not even a minute later it was opening again. I was wiping my tears and sniffling as I sat my ass on the ground next to the ferns.
Everyone always picked ferns.
Why couldn't anyone pick me?
Why couldn't he have picked me?
I burst into another round of tears, wiping my eyes.
He sat down next to me. His legs touched my bare ones as I cried.
"I never meant to hurt you, Sage. I never meant to hurt anyone, I just had to leave." He whispered.
I scoffed, slapping my hands against my thighs. "How could you?" I asked, staring at him. His eyes met my own which were wet and puffy.
"I got jumped, okay? I got jumped when I left your house one night. I have no clue who set me up but there were some guys on the football team." My eyes widened.
He swallowed.
"And then Reese decided to tell me that he was giving me Slater's position." I turned my head fully, my body shifting. "I declined. Obviously. But I was a sixteen-year-old boy. I had so much stress on my shoulders. Do you remember my mom's journals? It was like I was living through them again. Reese tried to give me the position and I couldn't take it. Imagine if Matti found out Reese was trying to give his son's position away! And then, imagine if my dad and your dad hated each other because I took the damn position! Not to mention, imagine what would happen to you if I did take the position!" He explained.
His voice was shallow.
And my heart was in my throat, I wanted nothing more than to cry.
"It's hard to explain but just now I thought of every possible outcome that surrounded everyone else but myself. I was protecting people who shouldn't have been protected. I should've never left you, Sage. Please understand."
Two years.
Two years of heartache.
Two years of feeling like it was my fault.
Two years of feeling like I was unlovable.
Two years of ruining myself.
"My brother? You could've said anything at all to me, Blaise! I wrote to you– for two years!" I cried, pushing myself off the ground and standing up.
He followed me. We were going in rectangles around the greenhouse as I walked; he chased.
"I know you did baby, okay? I know– leaving you was the worst mistake of my fucking life Sage!" I stopped dead in my tracks, turning to face him. "Don't fucking call me baby! You don't get to call me anything! You ruined my life! I hate you!"
He shook his head.
"You don't mean that, Sage."
I nodded.
"You made me rip up my garden! My garden is no more! Why do you think I hate gardening!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.
He frowned. "Please tell me you didn't."
"I ruined everything that I enjoyed because I was dumb enough to think it would bring you back– newsflash it didn't. Just leave, Blaise. I'd rather do the artwork myself– I don't want you to be near me."
He frowned.
"Sage– but you love your garden."
I chuckled. "Yeah, well I loved you once too."
He shook his head. "You still love me. Don't say you don't because you do."
My mouth dropped open in shock. "I don't have any feelings for you anymore. I lost them months ago."
He shook his head. "Good thing I checked my email." I furrowed my eyebrows.
"ilovebunnies19@gmail.com ring any bells?" He muttered.
I slammed my hand against the table, and the plants shook.
"Leave, Blaise! Leave! Leave me alone! Haven't you done enough!" I cried.
"I have always wanted you, Sage. Always. I left because I genuinely thought it was the best thing for you and your brother. I was always planning on coming back now–"
"And you couldn't respond?" I asked, wiping my tears. He shook his head.
"Sage, have you gone up to the treehouse?" I rolled my eyes.
"No. It holds bad memories." Bad because they all remind me of you. Every single special moment I had in that treehouse involved him.
My face scrunched up as my heartbeat was sound in my ears. My heart was cracking, it was snapping, and it was broken all over again. I hated the fact that I didn't hate him. I was lying through my teeth.
I turned my head facing the darkness through the windows of the greenhouse.
I whimpered as I cried.
"Sage, please. God. Please, I can't make you understand but you know me well enough to know that I wouldn't just leave you out of nowhere. My caterpillar, my beautiful butterfly." He whispered.
I turned around to tell him to go away but instead, I found him on his knees, tears in his eyes as he stared up at me. He was on his knees begging for me. "I'm not asking for you to take me back or for you to forgive me but this has been so heavy on my chest for two years. Please understand that I never meant to break your heart. You are my life, Sage. Please."
His blue raspberry eyes were in pools of tears.
His eyelashes were thick and wet as the tears streamed down his cheeks.
I didn't answer him.
I didn't respond.
But he wiped his face and then spoke again.
"Did you really lose your virginity?" He asked.
And I nodded.
Hey besties!
Long chapter, but you all deserve it. Don't worry healthy communication from here on out!
Also, I think this is the chapter that is going to shoot this book over a million. I can't even believe this. I don't even know how to fathom this. I don't even know what to say except THANK YOU. I love you all so much. THANK YOU! I hope one day when these books are published we can all read them together and I hope one day that when they go on the big screen, I'm watching them all with you. I love you all so much thank you for everything. I am so lucky. Thank you.