I played with my hands as the group argued about who would go into the store and who would stay with the stolen van.
"That's enough," I sighed, cutting them off. "We need a lot of supplies. You all will go into the store. I'll stay here with the van. Now, no more arguing. Get in there so we can take this son of a bitch down."
They nodded in agreement and started to gather their things. I caught Steve's eye, making him freeze. Instead of following the others into the store, he walked over to me.
"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" He asked gently.
"Of course," I scoffed. "I think I'll be okay sitting in a stolen van. Just make sure the basketball team doesn't see you."
He started to leave but stopped. He gently reached forward and grabbed my hands.
"If there is any sign of trouble, I want you to honk the horn three times and run," he said under his breath.
"What about you guys?" I asked, making sure I added the others to my question.
"Forget about us."
"But Steve. . ."
"If anything happens, head straight to my house," Steve continued. "You know where the key is to the back door. Run straight there and I will meet you there as soon as I can."
"Steve, stop," I cut him off. "I'm not leaving you behind."
"And I'm not going to let you get hurt," he said instantly. "I mean it, Y/N. The first sign of trouble, get out of here."
"I can't leave you," I whispered.
"I'll always find you."
A tension-filled silence fell between the two of us. I didn't want him to stop looking at me the way he was. But sadly, we were both dragged back to reality.
"Steve, let's go!" Robin yelled from outside the van. Steve cleared his throat as he finally let go of my hands.
"We'll be back as soon as we can," Steve reassured. "Don't go anywhere. Unless. . ."
"The first sign of trouble," I finished for him. He laughed as he started to leave. He turned around and jogged back. I gasped when he leaned in and kissed my cheek.
"I'll be back."
As he finally ran into the store, my stomach refused to calm down. The guilt got too overwhelming as I choked on my sob. I sat in the driver's seat and let my tears fall.
Steve's been my best friend since kindergarten when he stopped Andrew Wilson from pulling my pigtails. In all those years, he never knew the truth. Of course, he knew part of it, but not all. He knew that my parents were killed in a car accident when I was four. He knew that my grandparents moved to Hawkins to take care of me.
What he didn't know was how my grandparents acted behind closed doors. Around other people, they were sweet grandparents raising their poor granddaughter. When it was just me, my grandmother was barely conscious and my grandfather was angrily drunk at the world for losing his son. He got worse after we had to take my grandmother to the nursing home.
There were so many times I thought about telling Steve. There were so many nights I wanted to run to his house, climb in his window and beg for him to keep me safe. The only reason I didn't tell him was because I was scared that my grandfather's rage would be turned on Steve. I'd rather take the beatings than let my grandfather hurt Steve.
I also haven't told Steve–or anyone–about the clock. I was about to tell Steve about it when we broke into the school to look at the counselor's notes but Max announced that she had started to see it. Turns out, I started seeing it about twelve hours after Max first saw it.
The only person who knows anything about my grandfather is Robin. When we were working at Scoops Ahoy, Robin and I got a little too high on break one Sunday. I ended up blurting it all out. The next day, I begged her not to say anything and she swore she wouldn't.
I looked around the van, the tears still streaming down my face. A sob got caught in my throat when I saw the supplies I used to clean the gash on Steve's stomach. When the pain got too much, I stood up and ran. I remembered the promise I made Steve but the guilt and fear were suffocating me.
* * * * *
"Wait," Dustin stuttered as they climbed back into the stolen RV. "I thought Y/N stayed with the RV."
"She did," Steve said as he walked in. Everyone avoided looking at Steve as he discovered his best friend and the woman he secretly loved was gone.
"Where is she?!" He panicked.
"Steve, calm down," Nancy tried to soothe.
"How the hell am I supposed to calm down?!" Steve yelled. "Y/N is gone and Vecna is out there, snatching people up."
"What if he takes her?" Dustin asked.
"You don't think. . ." Robin hesitated.
"Don't think what?" Steve pushed when she didn't continue.
"You think there's a chance Y/N might become another one of Vecna's victims?" Nancy asked.
"Why would he take her?" Lucas countered. "He takes people with repressed trauma. Y/N doesn't have any of that. . . Right?"
"Her parents died when she was really little," Dustin shrugged. "But her grandparents moved here and took care of her."
"It's not that simple," Robin mumbled.
"What are you talking about?" Steve demanded. "Y/N is nothing like Vecna's victims. She's happy."
"Steve," Robin sighed. "It's not. . . She isn't. . ."
"What are you trying to say, Robin?" Steve asked, his anger building. "Because if you're trying to tell me that my best friend is actually miserable and going through shit that she's never told me. . ."
"She wanted to tell you but you always get so damn protective!" Robin cut him off. She took a shaky breath, forcing herself to calm down. If she was going to tell Steve Y/N's big secret, she needed to calm down.
"Look, Steve," she sighed, "you're not going to want to hear this but there's something you need to know about Y/N's father and grandfather. When her dad was growing up, her grandfather believed in raising his son with a heavy hand."
"Robin, just get to the point."
"Her grandfather abused her father and now he abuses her," Robin sighed, no longer dancing around the subject.
"Absolutely not," Steve scoffed. "He would never. . . She wouldn't. . . If that was true, don't you think she would've told me?"
Steve looked around to see the same expression on everyone's faces; pity.
"You guys think. . ."
"I'm sorry, Steve," Robin sighed. "But I'm right about this. Which means. . ."
"Y/N could be Vecna's next victim."
* * * * *
The group looked everywhere for Y/N but she was nowhere to be found. They checked her house, the school, her work, the bookstore she frequently visited, and nothing.
"I don't understand!" Steve angrily grunted. He sat on the Wheeler's couch with a huff. "We've looked everywhere. I don't know where else she could be!"
"There is one other place we could try," Robin mumbled.
"Where?!"
"There's an old folk home a few miles outside of town," she explained. "They moved her grandmother there about a year ago. She might've gone to visit her."
Steve jumped up, ready to run to his car. He stopped at the door when he saw the others staring at each other.
"What are we waiting for? Let's go."
"You go," Nancy said, sending a knowing look to Robin.
"Yeah," Robin jumped in. "We're gonna go check on Eddie."
Steve wasn't sure why they were staying behind but he didn't care. He needed to get to Y/N before it was too late. He turned on his heel and jogged to his car. He was about to leave when Nancy stopped him. He impatiently rolled down his window as she jogged over.
"I gotta go, Nance," Steve sighed. "If she's alone too long. . ."
"Tell her," she cut him off.
"What?"
"Steve, you deserve to be happy," Nancy explained, "and we all see how happy Y/N makes you. We also all know that you've been in love with her for a long time. Maybe even before you and I went out. It doesn't matter. What matters is how you feel about her."
"Nancy," Steve stuttered.
"You love her, Steve," she smiled at him. "It's pretty obvious. Probably as obvious as it is that she loves you too."
"She does?"
"Of course she does," Nancy chuckled. "I'm surprised you don't see it."
"See what?"
"The way she looks at you," Nancy said like it was obvious. "The way she runs to you when she needs help. The way she depends on you to protect her and keep her safe. The way she needs you. So, please, Steve. When you find her, tell her."
* * * * *
I gasped as someone grabbed my shoulders and quickly spun me around.
"What were you thinking?!" Steve yelled the second I was facing him.
"Steve," I gasped as I looked around the room at the old folks staring at us. "Please. . . Can we. . ."
"Did you really think you could just run away?!"
"Steve, please," I begged. "Can we take this outside?"
The look on Steve's face dropped as I wrapped my arms around myself, still looking around the room. My breath got caught in my throat when Steve grabbed my hand and led me outside. He pulled me through the garden until he found the small bench I usually sit at.
"Y/N," Steve whispered after we sat down. I smiled when I noticed he was still tightly holding my hand. "I'm sorry I got so angry," he sighed. "It's just. . . You disappeared and. . . Then Robin put the idea that you could be next in my head and I went crazy. I started. . ."
"She's right," I cut him off. I looked up to see Steve's eyes widen.
"She's right?" He asked. I held my breath as he figured it out. I wasn't sure how much Robin told him about my grandfather, but I could tell he knew most of it from the way he was looking at me.
Steve pulled on my hand, turning me towards him. His eyes were soft as he studied me.
"Y/N, does your grandfather. . ." He couldn't bring himself to finish his question. And I couldn't bring myself to answer it.
"If it makes you feel better," I whispered, "whenever he started to get angry or would start to. . . I would run to you."
"Really?" He asked, letting out a sigh of relief.
"I swear," I continued. "Whenever my grandfather started drinking too much and would begin getting angry, I'd go to my room but instantly crawl out my window. Then I would run to your house. I knew you'd always open the door."
"I'm glad you always came to me," Steve said, scooting closer to me, "but I still don't understand why you never told me. We've been best friends since we were little, Y/N. I thought you trusted me."
"I do!" I said quickly.
"Then why didn't you tell me?" Steve asked. "Not even after everything started with the killings."
"It's just. . . Max started seeing that damn clock a few hours before me which means Vecna might come after her first. We could lose her if we started worrying about me and not her. So see? If I brought up what happened to me, we'd shift our focus. We've lost enough, Steve," I whispered. "We can't lose Max. We can't lose anyone else. I didn't want to add to everyone's stress."
"I don't give a shit about everyone's stress," Steve scoffed. "I'm more focused on the fact that the most important person in my life was keeping a huge secret that literally put her life in danger as if her life meant nothing to me!"
"I didn't mean it like that," I said under my breath.
"You should've told me," he sighed, finally calming down. He stood up and started running his fingers through his hair. "Out of everyone in your life, I thought I was the one person you told everything to. Why didn't you tell me? Do you not trust me?"
"It's not that," I said quickly as I jumped up. "I just. . . I knew how protective you'd get and I didn't want you to worry. Plus with everything else going on. . ."
"Y/N, you still don't understand," Steve said, his frustration returning. "I don't care about everything else that's going on. As much as I focus on everyone else's safety, I find myself always focusing more on you. The only thing I care about is you. You are the one person that I can't bare to lose."
"Steve," I whispered, "I'm just your best friend."
"You're so much more than that!" He yelled.
He was suddenly breathing heavily as he stared at me like he was making up his mind. I held my breath as Steve slowly took a step toward me, making the gap between us smaller.
He grabbed my hands, making the gap even smaller. I could barely breathe when Steve and I were inches apart.
"You are so much more than my best friend," Steve whispered. "I love you, Y/N. I've loved you since you helped me in sixth-grade math. I've loved you since you fell asleep in my arms during that movie marathon we had in seventh grade. I've loved you since you clung to me when we went to that haunted house eighth-grade year. I've loved you since you encouraged me to try out for the basketball team. I've loved you since you met me at school early so you could help me keep my grades up. I've loved you since I knew what love was. You are the most important person in my life. Without you, nothing matters. I would rather be eaten by demodogs than lose you."
"Steve," I whispered with a smile on my face. My heart fluttered when I saw his nervous and hopeful smile. "I love you too."
"Really?" He asked.
"Of course," I shrugged. "You've always been there for me, through everything. It killed me not telling you the truth about what's been going on at home. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."
"It's okay," he smiled down at me. "Now that I know, I can start doing a better job of protecting you."
"You do a great job of protecting me," I teased.
"Now I can do a perfect job," he smirked.
Silence fell between the two of us. My face burned as he looked at me with love in his eyes.
"Steve?"
"Yes, my love?"
"Will you kiss me already?"
Steve laughed as he pulled me into his chest, letting go of my hands, and wrapped his arms around my waist. I slid my hands up his chest and wrapped my arms around his neck. He leaned down, stopping when his nose was pressed to mine.
"What are you waiting for?" I whispered.
"Nothing," Steve sighed. "I'm just enjoying this moment."
"As sweet as that is," I teased, "we told each other "I love you" for the first time, but we still haven't had our first kiss."
"My fault," he chuckled. Steve leaned in and finally pressed his lips to mine.
Fireworks immediately erupted as our lips slowly started moving in sync. That kiss meant everything to both of us. All the feelings we've been hiding over the years came pouring out.
"Please," Steve whispered, breaking the kiss. "Don't run away again, Y/N. I can't protect you unless I'm with you."
"I won't leave your side," I whispered. "Ever again."
"Good," Steve smirked as he slightly leaned back. "Because we're in this together."
"Always."