"Is everything okay with you two?", Claire asks, and I turn my head in the direction her voice is coming from. I can still feel Dave's hands on my shoulders, and he makes no effort to remove them. His mother glances from him to me and then back. What surprises me is the fact, that she has this look on her face as if she knows something, but she doesn't comment on it.
"Taylor and I were just discussing that she misses homecooked meals so much, as she can rarely indulge in them.", Dave tells his mum. He removes one of his hands and moves the other arm around my shoulders and turns both of us to her.
"How so? Don't you like to cook?", she asks me but looks at Dave's hand on my shoulder. I feel uncomfortable, but not by his touch but by his mother's glance.
"Unfortunately, I can't cook. I tried but I even burned noodles. I am a hopeless case.", I answer her honestly and I can feel his hand moving from my shoulder down my arm to my waist. What is he doing? I feel my heart race picking up and a jolt going through my body.
"Then what do you eat for dinner wherever you are stationed at?", Claire inquires and doesn't give me any time to think about what her son is doing to me and what it triggers in me.
"Langley and I eat take-out most of the time." I can feel his thumb moving right above the waistband of my shorts. Jesus fucking Christ this send every fiber of my body in overdrive. My heart rate picks up even more, and goosebumps spread over my body.
"We can't have that. You will be here for dinner every single night from now on. Except when the two of you have other plans." What other plans could be possible have? Yeah, I would say we are friends and yes, I find him really attractive, but I won't start anything with him, or at least that is what I am trying to tell myself. It wouldn't end well. He is in the Navy, and I am in the Air Force. There is literally no way this would function.
"Claire, I can't do that.", I tell her and try to focus on our conversation and not what Dave is doing to me.
"I insist. I don't want any back talk on that matter either. It's a done deal. If anyone says something about it, send them my way and I will deal with them.", she says and looks at me like my mother used to, when I should not contradict her.
"Yes, Ma'am.", I tell her, and she smiles at me pleased. Jesus, this woman is unyielding.
"Great, now that we've cleared that up, I think Will wants to talk to you about something, Taylor. In the meantime, my son and I have to discuss something." I feel Dave removing his hand from my body and I walk out of the kitchen to Wifi who is still sitting at the table on the patio.
"You wanted to talk to me", I say as I step out of the house and Wifi nods.
"Yeah, I heard what happened up there today.", he tells me as I sit down opposite of him.
"Which part are you referring to?"
"To the part where you almost blacked out." He gets up from his seat and walks over to the bar he has installed outside. Wifis gets two beers out of the fridge. Oh yeah that part – I almost forgot about that... not.
"Did everyone hear it on the radio?"
"Nope. He turned the transmitter off, right before it happened. I mean I could hear that your breathing picked up, but then everything went silent. You got me worried, kiddo.", he says and puts one of the beers in front of me and then sits back down on his chair and leans back. I wouldn't have thought that Dave was that aware of the situation to even turn off communication with the tower.
"Was that the reason why you were down on the field?" When I saw him there today, I wasn't sure what he was doing. But I get it now.
"I wanted to make sure, that you are okay. As long as you are here in Fallon, you are my responsibility and I want to keep your safe."
"It's all good, Wifi. No need to worry about me. Dave helped me get through it.", I tell him, shrug my shoulders as it is not important that I almost passed out several thousand feet above the ground and take a sip from the cold beer.
"The two of you are growing close, aren't you?"
"He is a nice guy and I like him as a friend." I try to sound as indifferent as possible, but he smirks knowingly.
"I see... Anyways I talked with Alex today, and he cleared Dave's flight training schedule, so the two of you can fly while the others are doing their training sessions. But you will still need to hold your lectures."
"Why are you doing this for me?"
"Because I can and I know that you belong up there, kiddo. I am really proud of you. If you keep going like that, you will be flying solo in no time."
"Well, we shouldn't jump to conclusions. There is still much to do, and I still need to figure out a lot of things."
"I am sure you will do that." I nod at him and see Claire and Dave walking through the living room.
"Honey, didn't you say that you wanted to get some dessert?", Wifi asks Claire, and I can hear her chuckle. Dave sits down next to me, and I can feel him putting his arm on the backrest of my chair.
"Remember what the doc told you during your last physical? You need to watch your sugar intake and eat healthier.", Claire says and then pats her fiancé on the shoulder. Dave laughs slightly next to me and tries to hide it behind a caught, when Wifi looks at him warningly.
"So, Taylor, I am not sure if Will has told you yet, but we are getting married the weekend after next and I would like to invite you to it as our guest.", she says and then sits down next to Wifi smiling at me.
"I guess, I can't decline that invitation either, can I?" She shakes her head amused.
"No, you can't. And don't worry about the dress code, you don't need to wear your uniform."
"I'm glad to hear that. How did you two actually meet?", I ask her and try to steer the conversation away from me. I can't answer anymore question about my life today. I'm done.
"Well...", Claire starts and looks at Wifi, "You know Taylor, I've told the story so many times, I think Will should do this."
"But darling, you can do that better than me."
"Nope, it's your turn.", she says, and he sighs.
"Okay... So, Claire and I met in the National Air and Space Museum in DC. Well, we more or less bumped into each other and then had a heart-to-heart conversation. The rest is history."
"Wow... That was detailed...", I tell him and lean back against the backrest of my chair. I can feel Dave starting to play with tips of my hair.
"You know me, kiddo. I am not good in that."
"But he can be very romantic.", Claire says immediately to defend him.
"I am sorry, but I can't picture that.", I tell her, and she looks amused.
"To be honest, I couldn't either. He always looks so grumpy and has this serious look on his face. But somewhere in there", she leans over and touches the space where his heart is located in his chest, "he has a soft and romantic spot. And the day he asked me to marry him..." She turns to him and kisses him. I look to Dave, because I feel a little bit uncomfortable seeing Wifi and Claire going all in. His eyes are already on me, and he moves his head a bit to me.
"Okay, this can go two ways now. Either they will keep kissing and we won't get that picture out of our heads. Or they stop, and we will sit here until late in the night and hear her gushing over him.", he whispers in my ear, and I can feel goosebumps spreading over my body, because his face is so close to mine.
"I would like neither."
"Well, then we should get going as soon as possible."
"What are you whispering about?", Claire asks, and we move away from each other.
"I was just telling Dave how happy I am to see Wifi in love again and that I am starting to get tired. Today was really exhausting for me.", I tell her and don't even have to fake a yawn.
"Oh sweety, why didn't you say something earlier?"
"I didn't want to be rude."
"You wouldn't have been. Let me pack you something so you'll have something for lunch tomorrow." Claire wants to get up, but her son stops her. This woman is so sweet and carrying to me and she doesn't really know me. She behaves as if I am part of her family.
"Mum, you know all too well, that we can't warm something up during our lunch break. And we really should get going, because we have a long day tomorrow.", Dave says, and I feel his fingertips on the nape of my neck, before he gets up from his seat.
"I've already completely forgotten about that. But at least let me walk you to the front door." She gets up as well and I follow her suit. Dave like the gentleman he is, lets me walk first. When we are at the front door, Claire pulls me into a tight hug.
"It was great to see you again, Taylor. If you need anything, call me!", she says and then hugs me again. I nod and then she moves on to hug her son. After that we are free to leave. Quickly, Dave and I walk the few feet to his car, and he opens the door for me.
"Thanks for getting us out there. Your mum can be quite intimidating.", I tell Dave as he gets in the car, and he starts to laugh.
"It's not like I warned you. And I might have to retract my earlier statement that you aren't a good actress."
"That yawn wasn't played. Actually, I am pretty tired. Everything that has happened today was really exhausting. I will fall asleep as soon as I am in my bed."
"I guess, I don't need to ask you then, if you would want to go for a drink."
"Lieutenant Commander Johnson, are you asking me out?" I look at him and he smirks.
"No, not really. That would sound different, believe me and we wouldn't go to a bar, that's for sure."
"I see."
"Anyways, the Thunderbirds, huh?"
"Please don't start a discussion if the Blue Angels or the Thunderbirds are better."
"I would never. But you said that you applied there. What made you do that?"
"Oh yeah... that..." I take a deep breath and look out of the window into the dark night. I can feel my emotions are getting all over the place again. Today it feels like as I am on an emotional rollercoaster that I can't get off.
"You don't need to answer it, if it makes you feel uncomfortable.", Dave says, and I can feel him taking my hand and squeezing it.
"No, that's not it. Do you remember when I told you about the members of my squadron, who I flew most of the time with?", I ask him after a few minutes. He has moved out entwined hands onto the arm rest in the middle of our seats. I turn my head to him, and he looks straight on the road ahead of us.
"You told me that one of them – I think Liam was his name – gave you your call sign and that he saved you. I haven't heard anything about the other ones. I guess he must be special." Again, he squeezes my hand slightly and I am surprised that he doesn't push for an answer or story. He gives me the option to tell him or not.
"Can you park somewhere, because I think this is not a conversation that we should have while you are driving. I will cry and you won't be able to concentrate. I don't want to be responsible for another death.", I tell him, and he nods slowly.
It doesn't take him long to find a place to park the car and I know I can't chicken out anymore. Even though I tell myself that this will not lead anywhere, I have the strong intuition that it will. And my intuition has never proven me wrong.
As soon as he stops the car, I unbuckle and open the door. I take a few deep breaths because it feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest. The same feeling that I have when I experience high-Gs in the air. But down here I don't really know how to counteract it.
"Do you want to go for a walk?", Dave asks me and comes to the other side of the car, where I am leaning against the hood trying to catch my breath.
"No, I just need fresh air for this." I take a few deep breaths and then I look at the stars above us.
"It's really beautiful here. Back at Langley I rarely get to see the stars or the Milky Way."
"Whenever I am on deployment, I go on deck at night and look at the stars. Our solar system is quite interesting." I can feel him leaning against the car on my left side as his arm touches mine. My breathing becomes more regular, and I know that I am on the verge of crying, but I need to tell him. I don't give a fuck where this is leading to, if it is just a friendship or maybe becoming something more.
"Liam was my fiancé.", I tell him and keep looking at the stars. I feel tears rolling down my cheeks. He doesn't say a word, but I can hear him taking a deep breath.
"He asked me if I would want to marry him right before we got into our planes six months ago.", I snort and wipe away the tears, but they keep coming.
"This will probably sound ridiculous, but I only fell in love with him a few weeks prior of the incident or at least that was when I accepted it. I liked him a long time before that, but I knew, that we wouldn't be able to stay in the same squadron. After all he was my flight commander." I put both my hands over my face and feel him wrapping his arms around me before pulling me against his broad chest.
"I am so sorry that you had to experience that. Although relationships are not prohibited, one of you should have been reassigned.", he says in a soothing tone after a few minutes.
"They did that the moment we made it official. As soon as we would have been back in the states, he would have become commanding officer of the F-22 Flight Demo team. I would have stayed with the 1st Fighter Wing, 27th Fighter Squadron. But they still made us fly that fucking mission. It shouldn't even have been ours to start with", I say and wrap my arms around Dave. He starts to move his hands over my back, and I press myself more against him.
"But the other members of our squadron were already assigned to other missions for the next morning or in the air to support the troops on the ground. Our commanding officers knew that we were a well-coordinated team. They knew about the risks our relationship would bring to the mission that night, but they believed that we would stay professional and not let our emotions guide us."
He stops with the soothing motion, and I can feel his hand ball into fists on my back. I take a few deep breaths and then I look up to him. His lips are pressed together, and his jaw is tense. He looks angry as he would want to kill someone.
"Still, they shouldn't have let you fly, Taylor. Everything you are feeling right now, everything you have gone through in the past six months, shouldn't have happened. And more important it is not your fault. It's theirs. They should be the ones battling with guilt, anger and grief and not you. You didn't and don't deserve this.", he says and moves one of his hands onto my cheek.
"But I am standing here, crying like a dumbass and telling you all of that. I'm just making my problems into yours and dragging you into the whole thing. I am the one who lost someone, and I don't even know if I loved him as much as he loved me."
"You must have loved him deeply otherwise you wouldn't be grieving his loss. I told you that I would listen to you and right now this is the case. I am here for you Taylor. I won't let you push me away. Seeing you like that hurts, but I will support you in any way you will let me.", he says and looks me straight into my eyes. Dave moves his other hand on my cheek and then wipes the tears away.
"Thank you. Please don't tell anyone about it. Even Wifi has no clue about the relationship. He thinks that we were just good friends."
"I won't. Everything you tell me is confidential and I wouldn't dare to break your trust, Taylor.", he says and starts to caress my cheeks with his thumbs. He really cares for me. I look down on his chest and see the wet spots my tears have created in the dim light of the moon.
"I am sorry for ruining your shirt."
"It's fine. I can wash it. But I need to hold you for a second or I might take the next flight to DC and do something that would end my career in the forces.", he says and pulls me back against him. I wrap my hands around his waist and can't deny that being held like that feels good. That having all of that off my chest feels good. That someone else outside off all the clearances knows about it. Someone who can actually show emotions.
"I want to get back to base. I need to sleep and think about everything that happened today", I say after a while.
"Okay, let's get you back."