Unsure about the clothing I wear, I look in the mirror in my bathroom. I have to admit, that it looks good, but I am not used to showing that much skin. My arms are completely bare and only two thin straps are holding the white top I am wearing and hiding the straps of my bra. The light blue linen paper bag shorts reach to the middle of my thighs and my feet are in the pair of shoes that I wore two days ago. These are all cloths that Claire shoved at me with yesterday before I left Wifi's and her house.
Before I can even think about changing into something more comfortable, I feel my phone vibrating in my left pocket. I take it out, look at the screen and see the text that Dave sent me.
I am here.
I run a hand through my loose hair and sigh. Yeah, that happened. After Wifi left us this afternoon, Dave had the idea to exchange numbers and carpool there. I should not complain about it, as I get to drink, and I have the feeling that I might need it.
Quickly I go into the living room and grab my bag, before leaving my apartment. When I walk down the stairs, I pass couple of other bachelor officers that live in the same building and see them checking me out. I can even hear a low whistle. With my head shaking I get out of the building and Dave is leaning against his care with his phone in his hands. As soon as he looks up and sees me, he starts to smile.
"Are you ready to go?", he asks me as he opens the door for me.
"You know, I have two hands, so you don't need to do that all the time.", I say as I get in the car, and I can hear him sigh.
"I got raised to be a gentleman. If you have a problem with that, you can talk about it with my mum." He closes the door and walks to the other side of the car to get in himself.
"Claire is a force to be reckoned with and I definitely don't want to get on her bad side.", I tell him as he starts the engine, and he laughs.
"I can tell you from experience that you don't want to do that."
"Wifi needs someone who can keep his feet on the ground."
"She is doing that. I was at their place when I moved here two months ago and she got angry at him, because he made a mess in the kitchen. He started to call her Ma'am."
"Oh my gosh, I would have loved to have been there."
"It was certainly fun to witness.", he says as we leave the base.
"You know, it's weird to see you in normal clothing.", I tell him and look at his outfit. In that moment I realize that we match. He is wearing light blue shorts and a white button down.
"I could say the same to you, but this looks better on you." He turns his head to me and winks. Why do I get the feeling, that he is flirting with me?
"Are you telling me, that I don't look good in my uniform?", I ask him with mocked anger.
"First of all, you are a bad actress. Second, who does look good in a uniform? It's unflattering." He looks good in a uniform, but he is right. They are unflattering, but that's the point. All of us should look quite similar. Only the badges and the insignias on our uniform tell us apart. There is a whole history behind it, that I needed to learn in basic training.
"Fair enough. You know, I am actually surprised that you own something else than black jeans and t-shirts."
"Mum insisted on me wearing this. I think I now know why.", he says and shakes his head amused.
"I can't shake the feeling, that they want us to bond."
"Not just you. She called me the other day and asked me about you." Surprised I raise my eyebrows. Why would she ask about me? It's not like we are close or anything like that.
"Really?"
"Yep. She was worried about what happened on Saturday."
"Did you tell her?"
"Why would I? She might be my mother, but it is your story, and I will certainly not tell anyone what you have confided in me."
"Thank you."
"Not for that. I think it goes without saying, that it was the right thing to do."
"Your parents – especially your mum – really raised you well."
"To be honest it was more my dad than my mum. Even though he wasn't home much, he always made sure to spend time with me when he was. From an early age he taught me to respect women and how to treat them. He kept repeating that if he ever heard that I abused a woman, he would come from wherever he is and teach me a lesson and that I would only be able to eat through a feeding tube afterwards."
"That's brutal."
"I guess so, but he wanted to emphasize his point and I clearly would never abuse a woman."
"Did you know that I am friends with a bunch of green berets who I met in Japan? One of them taught me some combat moves when he saw me in a gym working out. And let's just say I spent more time on a training mat than actually standing on it."
"No, I didn't. Did you just tell me that, so I know, that you can defend yourself?"
"Don't be stupid. I just wanted to make nice conversation."
"Okay. Tell me about them. Maybe I know someone."
"Most of them are already retired, but all of them are funny as hell and told me tons of weird and fucked up stories, but at the same time they are so humble, laid-back and kind. I know for sure, that I do not want to challenge one of these bad boys to something.", I say, and he laughs.
"Yeah, you rather not. The men and women serving in the Special Forces are tough as nails and you really don't want to mess with them."
"I remember a night when we were at an officer's club on Kadena AB, and a cocky and bulky captain of the Army bet that not even a guy from the Special Forces could take him down. Before he could even count to three his back was on the floor, and he looked like he was ready to pass out. He got taken down by a colonel who turned out to be a former squad leader of a SOF. I guess that captain got proven wrong."
"That must have crushed his ego. I must admit, I am slightly jealous about the fact, that you got assigned to Japan."
"I wish that I would have been stationed there. But I was there on deployment for a little bit over three months due to threats in that region around two years ago."
"Really? At that time, I was on the USS Nimitz, and we were near the Philippine Sea. Sounds like they wanted to be ready if something were to happen."
"I guess it does."
"Do you know what I find funny?", Dave asks me as we reach the neighborhood that Wifi lives in.
"No, I don't but you will probably tell me."
"I don't know if you have noticed, but when we are on base in a formal setting, you call me Lieutenant Commander Johnson. When we are off base, you call me Dave. However, when we were in the plane or in an informal setting, you call me Jabba.", he says and grins at me.
"Now that you mention it...." I start to think about it and it's true. Even in my mind, I call him by his rank out of respect.
"As I said, I find it funny. Don't worry about it. You can call me Jabba or even Dave, whenever you want on base."
"If you say so, Lieutenant Commander Johnson. So, what do you do, if you don't babysit me?"
"That's quite the change of topic."
"Well, I don't always want to talk about the military."
"To be honest, I am pretty boring. When I am not working and spending time with my mum or friends, you will find me reading a book or obviously working out. However, I am currently in the final stages of renovating the house I live in as I want to make it my home for the next three years that I am stationed here and maybe even beyond that. What about you?"
"I love to travel. I try to be on the move whenever I can. Sitting still and being lazy are two things I can't deal with. I need to be active. Being in briefings is a torture for me."
"I thought, you didn't want to talk about the military", he laughs and parks the car in the driveway.
"Smartass."
"I'm going to pass over that one. Are you ready to face the inquisition?"
"It can't be that bad, can it?", I ask him as he gets out of the driver's seat.
Boy, I couldn't have been more wrong about that. As soon as we were inside, Claire almost bombarded me with questions. Wifi tried to help me but was shut down by her almost immediately. I could even hear him call her Ma'am. Dave didn't even dare to interfere. It would have been funny, if I weren't the main target of her questions.
"So, Taylor, Will told me you went to the USAFA and that you studied psychology. I can't really remember that it is one of the fields of study there.", she says as we sit at the table and finish our dinner. Which again is very delicious.
"No, I am not a psychologist. While psychology and behavioral science – this is what I actually studied as a major – are connected to each other, behavioral science is more about the interactions between human beings, rather than understanding the mental process behind it. While I could have taken classes to focus more on psychology, I decided to lean more towards sociology. I wanted to get a deeper insight of the changes within a society and to better understand other societies, beliefs and values. I also studied diversity and inclusion as a minor."
For a moment she looks at me flabbergasted, because she didn't expect so much information ins such a short time. All my answers before were really short and I tried to evade to answer questions that were too personal.
"Mum, the garden is doing amazing.", Dave says and takes the window of opportunity to give me a small break. I move my hand to his underneath the table and squeeze it a little bit at a thank you. When I want to take it away, he entwines our fingers and doesn't let go. I turn my head to him and give him the best "what the fuck dude" look I can conjure up.
"I know what you are doing there, honey." Claire wrinkles her lips and I turn back to her. She looks warily at him and then at me as if she knows what is happening underneath the table.
"Even though I would love to talk about my newly found passion, I won't let you distract me. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." She sits up in her chair and sighs, then she looks at me again.
"I am amazed by what you have accomplished in your life, Taylor and the way you present yourself. You told me yesterday, that you have a few years left on your commitment. What would you like to do afterwards?"
"To be honest, I don't really know yet. During my deployment in Kuwait, I applied to the Thunderbirds. It would be an immense honor to get accepted, however I don't think that will ever happen."
"Why not?"
"Basically, I am not able to fly anymore. I am on the runway and my mind goes blank. Everything I know is just gone."
"Oh sweetie, I am sorry to hear that."
"I am starting to believe that it will come back to me at some point at least that's what I've been believing for a few hours now." She looks at me confused and I start to explain it to her.
"This morning I sat in the back of an F-16 and while I can't recall everything what happened up there at 16,000 feet, I heard the recording a few hours ago. I definitely knew what was going on and apparently, I did everything so intuitively that I didn't even pass out during couple of high- G maneuvers. This gives me hope which I was missing in the past six months. I'll have to figure out how to get back to the person I was."
Dave squeezes my hand underneath the table, and I look at him. He is proud of me.
"We will get you there, kiddo. Heck, even I would get into an airplane with you, if that would help."
"I rather not get into a plane with you. I already had a near death experience, and I don't necessarily want to repeat that.", I tell him, and he chuckles.
"Don't believe everything you hear, kiddo."
"I saw it with my own eyes, Wifi. We both know that there are recordings of the stunts you pulled during demo shows back in your day."
"There are recordings of you? Why haven't you shown them to me?!", Claire reprimands her fiancé. I might have to remember, that talking about things that Wifi did when he was younger, gets her attention.
"Oh yeah... I must have forgotten about them.", he says sheepishly.
"And weren't you and my father one of those you made it illegal to buzz a tower ashore?", I ask him sweetly, and Claire looks at him expectantly.
"Well... It wasn't us per se. That rule was already set in place in the states. However, we might be the reason why it is now forbidden in some European countries." Slightly embarrassed, he scratches the back of his head.
"You didn't!", she says and starts to lecture him about the trouble he could have gotten into and the aftermaths it could have. I feel Dave leaning to me.
"This probably will take some time.", he whispers in my ear, and I snicker.
"Come on, let's clean the table. That's the least thing we can do.", I whisper back and remove my hand from his. Then I get up and take his plate to put it onto mine.
"What do you think you are doing, Taylor?", Claire asks me.
"Cleaning the table and then putting them into the dishwasher."
"Put them down, you are our guest and most definitely won't to this."
"That's very kind of you, however I want to be of assistance. I can't come here without a gift and then expect you to take care of everything. Please, let me do this.", I tell her and keep putting the dishes together. Wifi gets up and tries to help me, but he is quickly pulled down.
"No, this conversation is not over", Claire says to him with a strict tone. Then looks at me and sighs.
"Thank you, that's really sweet of you. Just put them into the sink and I will deal with them later."
As quick as possible I grab all the dishes and walk with them back into the house and directly into the kitchen. I put them next to the sink and take a deep breath. If Wifi has grey hair when I am leaving, I know it isn't because of me.
"I am sorry, my mum can be a bit much at times.", Dave says apologetically as he places some glasses on the kitchen counter.
"You warned me, and I didn't quite believe you. It wasn't the worst conversation I have ever had. I actually enjoy talking to your mum. She has this zero-bullshit attitude that I like, and she is really laid-back.", I tell him as I open the faucet.
"Let me take care of that.", he says and puts his hands onto my shoulders and then moves me away from the sink. Then he opens the dishwasher and starts to prewash the dishes before putting them into it.
"I could get used to this.", I tell him as I watch him doing the dishes.
"What do you mean?"
"The food, the conversations and someone who cleans up."
"Don't you have something like this back at Langley?" I shake my head.
"Nope. Most of the times I eat take-out and since the accident, everyone treats me with kid gloves. I never asked to be pitied or being asked how I feel. It is a constant reminder of what happened. In contrast, it is like paradise here. Yes, people talk about me and what happened, but so far everyone has tried to support me. I can feel myself breathing freely again and starting to become the person I was all those months ago."
"I am glad to hear that you like it here. I think we here at TOPGUN are such a tightknit group that it feels like family. Even back then when I was taught here. I'm sure my mom wouldn't mind if you came over for dinner every night. She likes you."
"No, I can't do that. That would be inappropriate. I can't invite myself to eat here every night."
"I don't think you need to. Knowing my mother, I'm sure she'll suggest it herself."
"Still, I couldn't accept. What would everyone think of it?"
"Really? You are concerned about what they would think that you are eating dinner with their commanding officer and his soon to be wife, but you don't give a shit about what they think about us?"
"First of all, there is no us. Second, being invited to a dinner with the captain of the base is a huge deal. Third, it would draw suspicion if I were to eat here dinner every night and they might figure out that I am some sort of related to Wifi."
"I beg to differ.", he says as he puts the last cluttery away and then turns to me.
"There most definitely is a us. Maybe not like they think, but we are a team, or are we not?"
"Yeah, kind of."
"No, not kind of. We are a team. We work together. We fly together. And we spend time together." He puts his hands on my shoulders and looks me straight in the eyes. It feels a bit intimidating.
"Okay... I'm with you on this.", I tell him still not one hundred percent sure about it.
"And my opinion to the other things: fuck them. I am here often and not one single soldier has said something. You will be fine, believe me."
"If you say so", I tell him with now clear disbelieve in my voice.