Chapter 12 - In the Shadows
I could faintly hear sirens around me and see bright lights from behind my eyelids. I could hear screaming, it sounded familiar. I barely opened my eyes, but I couldn't move. I was cold and in pain. "Julie! Stay with me!" I could hear Alex's voice next to me as he held my hand. "Where is the ambulance?!" I could hear Alex shouting. "No!! I'm done with you. I'm tired of you trying to ruin my life! Now you've hurt someone very special to me. Arrest her! Get her away from my sight!" I could hear Johnny screaming at someone and could only guess it was Melissa. Darkness engulfed me again... "Julie! Stay awake! He's coming." No. I didn't want Johnny to see me like this. He couldn't see me like this.... I felt a tear go down my cheek as I closed my eyes. I felt someone start to pull me into their lap. "No! Don't move her! Watch the knife!" The knife? The knife! Did I have the knife in me somewhere? I didn't have the energy to see if I did.
I felt someone lay next to me on the ground, crying, grabbing my hand. I felt kisses on my forehead and a warm hand brushing my hair back. The scent of musk and tobacco. "Joh... Johnny?" "I'm here Julie. Shh, please stay awake! The ambulance is almost here. Don't leave me, please don't leave me. I'm so sorry I didn't protect you. Please stay with me! Julie!!" I was fading in and out of consciousness. I had to stay awake, for him. I forced my eyes open slightly and squeezed his hand. "I'm so sor....sorry I didn't listen." I tried reaching for his face but was too weak to do so. Johnny grabbed my hand and put it on his face, and I forced a smile. He kissed my hand, "No, I'm sorry. I should have been here. You are my world, please don't leave it." I felt dizzy again and my eyes started to close again. "Julie!! Wake up! You must wake up, you know why? Because I love you! I've loved you from the first time I saw you. I'm so sorry I didn't say it sooner. Wake up! Please! Julie!!" I mustered enough energy to open my eyes and turn my head slightly to look at him. I could barely speak but my tears said everything. "I love..." Darkness filled me once again and I lost consciousness.
"Julie!!" I could feel someone gripping my hand tightly and I could feel tears falling onto it. I felt movement. I was being lifted onto a stretcher. I guess the ambulance finally arrived. "Be careful! Stabilize the knife before we lift her" I heard someone say. Stabilize it? I felt pain in my chest and let out a whimper. The knife must be somewhere in my chest! "It's okay Julie, it will be over soon, and you will make it through this, do you hear me?!" I squeezed someone's hand. It had to be Johnny's. I still couldn't open my eyes, I was so tired, so cold. "No, Paul, I'm going with her in the ambulance! I don't care what they say!" "Fine, then I'm coming along with you!" I heard Johnny and Paul faintly arguing about something. I felt movement, we must be driving to the hospital. The whole ride was a blur, but I remember feeling someone squeezing my hand the entire time. Johnny. He didn't say anything, just held my hand trying to hold back his tears. "Johnny, I'm sorry man, I shouldn't have turned around, I should have stayed and held her back. I should have...." "No, this was not your fault. None of you could have prevented this." Johnny had told Paul as he held my hand tightly looking at the knife that was stabilized in my chest, tears rolling down his face. "She's so cold, tell me she will be alright!" "We are almost at the hospital, and they will take good care of her."
I had lost consciousness for a very long time apparently as I woke and was in a semi-dark hospital room. There were bouquets of flowers surrounding my bed and I had an IV attached to my arm. My chest felt heavy, and I felt bandages wrapped around the middle of my chest. This must have been where the knife was. I looked down and saw a head full of dark hair laying on my lap with a hand on my leg. "He hasn't left your side once in the past 4 days." 4 days?! I looked up to see Grace standing against the wall. Oh no! The baby! "Grace, you didn't tell him, did you?" "No, but I told the doctor. They did lab work on you and wanted to wait until you awoke to run more tests but said the numbers looked fine." I breathed a sigh of relief. I looked down and ran my fingers through his head, he was fast asleep. "He hasn't left in 4 days?" "Nope, we barely could get him to eat anything. He wanted to be here when you woke up." I realized I was in a hospital gown. "Grace, where are my clothes?" She looked at me confused and puzzled. "Over there....in a bag." I saw the bag in the corner of the room and hoped the ultrasound picture was still the pocket of my jeans. I smiled at her and nodded my head. It hurt to move, let alone breathe.
Johnny lifted his head and saw I was awake. "Julie!! You're awake!!" He kissed me with such passion, like I had never been kissed before. "Ouch." He realized he had his hand on my chest where the bandage was. "I'm so sorry, are you okay?!" "Yes, just sore" I said as he helped me recline up in the bed. "I'm going to get the doctor!" He ran out of the room quicker than I could tell him to stop. Grace just looked at me quietly. "Can you bring me the bag?" Grace went and brought it over to me. "What are you looking for in there?" I reached into the pocket of my jeans and felt it in there and pulled it out. It had been damaged. It was wrinkled, torn, and had blood on it, my blood. I put it back inside and had tears coming down my face. It was ruined. Maybe that knife should have stayed in my chest because that's how it felt at that moment. I threw the bag back at Grace. "I'm done with it." I said as I propped my head back on the pillow. "Julie, it killed me not to tell him. He loves you so much. Please tell him." "I need to see the doctor first. I need to make sure everything is okay first before I tell him."
The doctor came into the room with Johnny by his side. I was praying the doctor wouldn't say anything about the baby while he was in there. "Julie, how are you feeling?" "Very sore and tired. What happened?" "You lost a lot of blood, but the knife missed vital organs and became stuck in your rib cage. That was your saving grace. It could have been a lot worse than it was. You are very lucky." I could see Johnny was very upset, agitated almost. I didn't want him to blame himself for what happened. Afterall, he couldn't control the actions of Melissa and I think that's what scared him the most. "You've been unconscious for 4 days but after the trauma and blood loss, it was expected. This one never left your side." The doctor pointed over to Johnny who was smiling at me. "I'm grateful." "I would like to do a physical examination, if that's okay?" I looked over at Grace, hoping she would get my message. She did. "Johnny let's go get some coffee while the doctor checks her over. She's in good hands and we will be right back" Grace said as she took his hand but before they walked out of the room, he came over and kissed me on the nose. I loved when he was silly like that, it always brought a smile to my face. "I'm glad you're awake. I've never been so scared in my life. I don't know what I would have done if I lost you." "You can't get rid of me that easily." I said as I chuckled. Ouch. My chest hurt. "Rest, and I will be back in a little bit" he said as him and Grace left the room.
"Doctor, I need you to check on my baby. Please. I need to know if my baby is okay." Knock, Knock! I looked up to see a nurse bringing in a portable ultrasound machine. "I already had planned on it but was told by your friend you wanted to do it privately." "Yes, thank you." Thank goodness Grace was supportive of my decision on this for the time being. The room lights were turned down, the door was shut, and neon green light was emitting from the machine. "Ok, lets see what we have here." Thump! Thump! Whoosh! Whoosh! "There's your baby, squirming away being very active. The heartbeat looks great!" I had tears of joy! The baby made it and was healthy. "How far along?" "About 8 ½, almost 9 weeks along, looking great. According to measurements here, you are due December 10th." A winter baby. I smiled to myself. The doctor printed out an ultrasound picture and handed it to me. "Here comes the painful part and I'm sorry in advance but I need to ultrasound your chest to make sure there are not any hidden damages." I clinched my eyes and nodded my head as the doctor performed the tests. It was horrible and painful. "It looks like there is not any damage to major organs, just tissue and muscle damage that will heal in time. I had tears in my eyes from the pain. "I will give you something to ease the pain and help you rest." "Thank you, Doctor."
Grace and Johnny came back in as the doctor was wrapping up tests. I hid the ultrasound photo under my pillow. My body was shaking from the pain. "Julie!! Doctor, is she okay? What happened?!" Johnny said as he came over and held my hand and rubbed my head. "She's just in pain from the tests but everything looks good. It will take some time to heal from the injuries. I will send in a nurse to give her pain medications to help her rest." "I'm okay, Johnny, really. "The nurse came in and administered some medication into my IV which took effect quickly to my surprise. I was fighting off drowsiness. I didn't want to fall asleep, not yet. "Johnny, you should go home for a while. Shower, eat, rest. I'll be okay now." 'Yes, I agree. You NEED to!" Grace said in agreement. "No, I'm not leaving you until you're discharged from this place." He was an easy-going guy but there were times when he could be stubborn, and this was one of them. "Fine, at least freshen up here, in my bathroom and eat something." He smiled at me and kissed my head, "That I can do." With that, he made his way into the restroom. Grace came over to my bedside so Johnny couldn't hear us. "So, is everything good with the baby?" I looked up at her and smiled. "Yes, very good actually. We both were lucky." "Thank goodness! Now will you tell him? I can't keep this a secret forever!" I looked up at her and smiled and looked towards the restroom. "I think so, soon." Grace threw her hands up in the air and shook her head. "I'm heading out, I will be back to see you tomorrow." "Grace! Thank you, for everything." She smiled and nodded her head as she left my hospital room.
I felt a kiss on my lips and opened my eyes and smiled to see Johnny sitting next to my bed. "Sorry, I didn't realize I fell asleep." "You need rest." "Lay with me please." "Here? In this little bed?" I smiled, "yes...please. I need your arms around me." He kissed me on the head and carefully moved me over to squeeze into the bed with me. "I know it's not the most comfortable place and it's okay if you don't want to stay." "Never, I would squeeze into the tiniest of spaces if it meant I got to hold you once again." Johnny wrapped his arms around me so gently, as to not hurt me. I snuggled into his chest. I loved it here, it was safe, it was beautiful. I felt his hand rub down my back. "Sleep, my sunflower, sleep." "Do me a favor before I do." "Whatever you need." "There's something under the pillow for you." I was nervous as he reached under my pillow and pulled out the ultrasound photo. He looked at it for what seemed to be a long time before he finally spoke. He had tears in his eyes as he looked at me. "A baby? Our baby? What?! When did you find out? Is our baby, okay?!" I put my hand on his chest to calm him. "Yes, our baby is doing perfect! It's a winter baby, due in December. We survived, we both survived." "You knew before this happened?" Oh crap. "Yes. That was my original purpose of coming here then all this happened." Johnny held me tighter. "I could have lost you both. Why didn't you tell me Julie, why?" "I didn't want you to worry about us with everything else going on." Johnny got up from the bed, still holding on to the photo, "You and now our baby, are the most important things to me. You should have told me. This could have gone so much worse than it did." "But it didn't Johnny. I didn't want to tell you until I knew the baby was okay."
"Please come back and lay with me, please." Johnny looked at me then at the picture before making his way back to my bedside. "Please don't ever keep anything from me just because you don't want it to bother me. You will never be a bother to me, never!" I nodded my head with tears coming in my eyes. Beep! Beep! We both looked at the heart monitor which was showing an elevated blood pressure. I did some deep breathing as a nurse came in to check on me. "We need to get this blood pressure down. Please try to rest. We will have to remove visitors if it continues." She gave Johnny a stern look as she gave me some more medication in my IV and went out the room. "I'm sorry, Julie! I don't want to be the reason you get hurt. I can't take it if something happens to you because of me." He started crying and I patted the bed for him to lay down with me. He laid down and held me in his arms tightly as I snuggled back into his chest. He rubbed my head and placed a hand on my belly. "I can't wait to meet you. And I love you with all my heart, my sunflower." I looked up at him and we kissed so softly, so beautifully. I held his hand that was on top of mine on my belly and put my ear to his chest. I loved the beautiful sound of his heartbeat. BEEP! BEEP! ALERT! ALERT! The heart monitor was going crazy! I felt darkness surrounding me again. Oh no, what is happening? I feel dizzy and weak. Everything sounds muffled. I can't move. "Julie!!! What's going on? What's wrong? No, no, no, not again.... doctor! Get a doctor in here now!!"