"I find it incredibly irresponsible that you signed that blood oath, Leila," Luca held fury in his blue orbs, "You put your heart in her very hands. In a witch's hands. All because she felt sorrow for her fellow sisters. The sisters that want your very head on a stick and a stake in your heart,"
"Luca, there was no way she was going to gain my trust if I hadn't. There was no way other witches would join our army without the knowledge that my wolf is bound to one," I shook my head, forcing myself to look up at him, "it was the right decison, and I don't regret it. I never will,"
Luca looked down at me, nostrils flared as he clenched his fists. It was the first time I'd seen such controlled chaos.
"Do you not care for yourself?" He all but whispered, "Do you have no value for your life?"
My lips parted.
"Leila, you gave your wolfs soul to that witch. It's bad enough you don't even have a relationship with her, but what do you think your wolf would feel when you speak to her knowing full well you just gave her away?" Luca took a step towards me, his steps quiet but his expression anything but, "She will be furious. She may even turn you rogue,"
"She wouldn't-"
"You don't even know her Leila!" His voice forced the outskirts trees to sizzle in submission.
"I do," I swallowed, "More than you do, that's for sure,"
"For once in your life, Leila, be selfish. Stop killing yourself for the sake of others! Why is it so easy for you to let yourself go?" Luca cupped my neck with his hands, evoking lighthot fire to erupt in my veins, "Do you not see what you're doing to me? My wolf want's to shove his bare teeth into Kate's neck every time he hears her footsteps outside of that door. He wants her dead. He want's everyone who forces you to make such decisions gone, and if that means he has to kill the entire kingdom, he will. I'm the only one stopping him, and i don't even know if I want to anymore,"
The strings of my heart pulled painfully at his words.
He looked down at me as though I were a singularity - a miracle. Something so unbelievable it scared him. His eyes flickered, as though he were looking into my own for any sign of regret, but I'm sure he didn't find any because I didn't regret the blood oath. I didn't and I never would.
"Luca-"
He pulled my neck towards him and slammed my lips onto his. All my taughts melted into his warmth as our lips moved against one another, everything ceized to exist. Too soon, he pulled away - eyes watery and hands almost gripping my neck. It was almost as if he was watching my dissapear, slipping through his fingers with no way of coming back.
"Leila, my heart cannot handle this," He took in a deep breath, letting go of my neck, "I sense that your heart has made its deicions, and I cannot convince you to think otherwise, but Leila, if you come out of this battle dead, so will everyone else,"
My brows furrowed, "What do you mean?"
"I will skin every last wolf alive if you die trying to save their humanity. Am I understood?" My heart turned eratic in its beats at his words, "And do not doubt my words, Leila. I speak nothing but the truth,"
I gulped.
What could I have said to him? That I would come out of this alive? That everything was going to be okay once I faced the mother of all witches? Nothing about my prophecy guaranteed my livelihood. Absolutely nothing, but I was still willing to take the risk, without question. In fact, even if my death was gauranteed, I would have regretted not fulfilling the prophecy.
Luca's eyes were still looking down at me in their sea filled glory, and I could tell by the pursing of his lips that he had heard my thoughts.
"I will wait for you, Leila," He laid a chaste kiss to my forhead, forcing my arms to wrap around the length of his waist, "but I will not watch humanity wait for you to save them. You did not ask for this,"
I laid my head on his chest, suddenly feeling the urge to cry oceans apart.
Luca was the only reason I wated to come out of this alive, and if it weren't for him, I would have welcomed death with every battle I faced. It scared me. Everything about the way he made me feel scared me. My dependency on him and his warmth made me want to run out of his arms but I knew I couldn't.
"Imagine," I began, voice cracking, "if none of this was real, and I was simply the alphas guard. Imagine us trying to keep our bond a secret while your mother tried mating you to hundreds of princeses you would only reject. Imagine us fighting alongside one another without worrying that one of us may die at the hands of a witch nobody knows even exists?" I sniffed into his chest, "We would have been so happy. So at peace, Luca. Is that too much to ask for? A life with you?"
He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, digging his nose into the top of my head, "I would want nothing more than to tell the whole world I'm yours. I would want nothing more than to sleep to the sight of your beauty and wake up to the sound of your hearbeat,"
A sob erupted from my chest, one I couldn't control and one I didn't want to control.
I was done trying to control myself.
My entire life, I have been controling myself. For 6 years I did nothing but control myself. Just when I had found the one person that filled the hole mother left behind, the moon had decided not to take him away from me, but to take me away from him. So I was done. What exactly being done entailed, even I did not know. But I was done.
So I let myself cry into Luca's chest for hours on end. I rid myself of the invisible ropes my brain held me with and told Luca how much I loved him. I told Luca how he was the only reason I wanted to come out of this war alive. I told him how much he made me want to live in a world where I wanted nothing but to die.
And he listened, and listened, and listened, until I had no more words to speak.
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HELLLOOOO EVERYONE!
It's been a while, hasn't it? I'm so sorry for leaving this story unattened, but my parents just went through a nasty divorce and university has been so overwhelming, so I completely forgot about the one thing I loved which was writing. Thank you for all the comments and support, it means the world to me.
More updates coming soon, my lovelies <3