| February 5th|
7:28 pm
My pencil tapped alongside the desk as I reviewed the material once more. Stress was not even the word to describe how I was feeling about these upcoming tests. Usually, I am prepared but as of recently, all I want to do is curl up in bed and rest. I rubbed my temple as my eyes closed momentarily.
I focused on my breathing as I tried to relax my mind to try and look over these notes again. The test was in two days but I just started looking stuff over last night. Any other time I wouldn't be worried but 4 chapters worth of Neurobiology was making my brain hurt. My teacher did a horrible job explaining the concepts, so per usual I was teaching myself the course.
"Hey, you okay?" I felt a hand touch my shoulder comfortably. I opened my eyes to be met with Levi. I shook my head sighing.
"It's nothing I can't handle" He squinted his eyes putting his stuff down in the seat next to him.
"What's going on? Last time I seen you like this was high school" I sighed.
"I'm fine" I mumbled re-opening my notebook. he slid it from my grasp making me suck my teeth.
"Talk to me" he took his airpods out and put them back in the case.
"Sometimes I wonder how life after college will be, like what if my life doesn't go the path I want it to go" he furrowed his eyebrows.
"For as long as we've been friends, you always talked about being a vet. your eyes light up just talking about it Ky. You got to believe in yourself and push towards the goal no matter the obstacle" I slumped my shoulders tracing my finger over the lines engraved in the desk.
"I just get discouraged when I look into who gets accepted into vet school-"
"You have to stop looking at the statistics of who gets accepted" I blinked my eyes as I felt them trying to water. Every time I get overly stress, I just want to cry and ball up in a corner somewhere.
"I know but it's hard, I just want to get accepted. This has been my dream since Oreo was brought home" I spoke with a slight laugh. I use to play doctor with him all the time. I remember the day when we had to take him into the emergency animal hospital. It was that day I realized why they say your pet is your bestfriend. I couldn't imagine someone else going through that same experience I did at such a young age. It was one of the main reasons I started looking into animal anatomy.
"And you will, What are you currently studying" He slid me back my notebook. I flipped back to the chapter notes.
"Neurobiology"
"I'll quiz you" A smiled appeared on my face as I passed him back my notes. For the rest of the time at the library, he helped me study my notes.
* * * * *
I flipped through my notes as Myles rubbed my feet. We was both studying for class but still made time to see each other. I closed my book sitting it to the side as I leaned my head back. He moved his gaze from his laptop to me.
"You okay?" I nodded with a smile.
"Yeah, I'm just taking a break" He closed his laptop as he started rubbing my other foot.
"Have you looked over the contract Langston sent you?" I asked.
"Yeah I've been going through it, marking things I want to compromise" I raised an eyebrow.
"Okay big stepper, you talking business" He chuckled.
"Since we taking a little break, Imma smoke real quick" I moved my legs so he could get up.
"Can I join" He nodded as he grabbed the stuff out of his drawer. I made the walk to the balcony. I grabbed his hoodie off the couch, slipping it on before walking outside. February be the coldest month. The wind start to pick up as well as the temperature starts to drop.
"What are you doing for spring break?" He asked as he closed the balcony door back. Once he sat in the chair, I sat on his lap.
"Nothing yet"
"Good, we already got plans" I twisted my lips to the side looking at him.
"Since when?" He lit his blunt before blowing the smoke out.
"Since I booked the hotel"
"where at?" he cut his eyes at me.
"Love you asking too many questions, can a nigga surprise you" I let out a laugh.
"Yes you can but I will still be asking questions up until we get to this mystery place" He shook his head raising the blunt to my lips. I inhaled the smoke keeping my eyes on him before releasing it.
"I've been thinking" he wrapped his arm firmly around my waist as his gaze shifted to no where in particular.
"After much consideration and the offer from Langston, I want to publish a book" A smile graced my lips.
"What about?" Silence grew as I raised the blunt back to my mouth. He shifted his gaze back to me then to my ring. He caressed it rubbing over the engraving. I looked down at it as I started thinking back to what he said. One day I will replace this with an wedding ring. From the day forth, I knew how serious he was about me and the future that will follow.
"Guess you'll have to wait and find out" a smirk was on his face as we reconnected eye contact.
* * * * *
Even after all of that studying, my mentality for after the test was it is what it is. I made the short walk to my car debating on if I wanted to go out to eat or convince Myles to cook for me.
"Hey Angel" I stopped in my tracks upon hearing those words. I turned around slowly to be met with her, Evelyn.
"Why are you here" I asked staring at her in disbelief. She held a smile as she walked closer but I moved backwards.
"I came to see you sweetheart, your dad kept ignoring my calls and I could never get in contact with you" I shook my head.
"We don't want you in our lives" I unlocked my car door but she quickly got closer.
"Kyrie can you please hear me out" I rolled my eyes sighing.
"You have 3 minutes" she clasped her hands together.
"When your father dropped me off at the rehab, in all honestly I wanted help but I let my pride get the best of me. I ended up back on the streets strung over at random corners" I crossed my arms.
"Finn had found me on the street on the line of overdosing. He took me into the hospital and made sure I got treated right away. In that moment I realized what I would have left behind if I kept going down that path." Evelyn wiped a tear.
"2 minutes" I reminded her.
"I told him about you and how I wanted to be clean and stable before seeing you again. He extended a helping hand and got me into a rehabilitation center that was targeted towards people in my situation. I did have a lot of setbacks but he was always there to get me back on track" I scoffed.
"That's no excuse for not calling your fucking daughter. I waited by that phone everyday waiting for the police or the hospital to call and pronounce you dead in some alleyway. Every time that phone ringed, I grew anxious that I really lost you."
"But angel you didn't lose me, I'm here now. I-I want to make this right and build the relationship" I shook my head. I reached for my car handle but she stopped me.
"Wait" she took a deep breath as she stood in front of me. "I wanted to call but I never grew the balls to do so. The last you saw me, I was stung out on drugs yelling at your father for taking me to rehab. I was scared you would never see your mother the same way." I looked down at my watch as the time continued to tick.
"I never expected to fall in love with Finn and get pregnant again. I thought it wasn't possible to have anymore children after you." She spoke frantically.
"You have one minute" she rubbed a hand through her silk press as she nibbled on her fingernails. She use to always do that before she could get her next fix. I see some habits don't change.
"My son— your little brother, when he was born last month he was diagnosed with congenital leukemia. I know this is sudden for me to ask but neither one of us was matches to give him a bone marrow transplant. I c-"
"Wow, that's why you sulked me out, you never wanted to build a relationship with me. You just wanted me to help your son and go on about your merry way" she shook her head trying to grab me.
"When did you turn back to drugs, Evelyn" she cried silently.
"I don't kn—When?" I asked. Most infants that are diagnosed with Congenital Leukemia, can come from being exposed to drugs or heavy toxins. It was the rarest form of leukemia and the survival rate had poor percentages, no matter the treatment.
"I didn't mean to, I was so stressed and I ju-" I opened my door shaking my head.
"You're unbelievable, your risk your child's life over a quick fix. You need serious help"
"Please Angel"
"Times up" I turned the car on and zoomed out of the parking lot with the information heavy on my mind.
"Wow, this is jus- I'm lost of words" Langston removed his glasses and gazed up from his computer.
"I know we are focusing more on my poetry but I've been inspired to tell this story" he leaned back in his chair nodding.
"Honestly Myles, this is great stuff. Is this the first thing you want to get published?" He asked. I nodded.
"Yes I do" he opened a file on his desk and pulled out some papers.
"Well then it's settled. I looked over the changes you made to your contract and I can honor those. How do you feel about traveling for months at a time?" A smile crossed my face.
"I'm all for it" he smiled.
"Excellent, once we get the dice rolling and your book takes off, we could be traveling for 6 months to press releases, meetings, book signings." I nodded feeling excited.
"This is a huge step, I just want to make sure your entirely ready. If all goes well and things take off. This could be happening shortly after your graduation"
"I'm ready" he smiled nodding as he sat up in his chair.
"Well if you don't mind, may I asked what inspired you to write this?"
"No I don't mind, it's really who inspired me. Without them I don't think this opportunity would be possible.
"Must be a special person" I looked down at my chain and rubbed my finger over the picture. "Very"
* * * *
"Pass the ball, what are you doing" Bennie stood up yelling at the tv. I chuckled as he tossed his hands up. We was currently watching football and his team was loosing badly.
"Fucking imbeciles" I let out a loud laugh causing him to flick me off.
"Nigga you a bad influence" Levi said as he ate his wings.
"I know you not talking about bad influences" I cut my eyes at him.
"I'm innocent" I shook my head.
"Jean be forreal, you far from innocent" Bennie said making me snicker.
"Aye I need to talk to y'all" they turned their attention to me.
"So if things go right with Langston, I may be traveling a lot but I don't want you and Sienna to be here by yourself. You think you parents would be okay with them staying there"
"You know my parents won't mind. They always welcome"
"Yeah bro, as long as I got food and a tv to watch my sorry ass team, I'm good" we all laughed.
"They should've never traded homeboy" I spoke as the game came back on.
"I'm saying, it was the worst trade they did all season" Bennie said huffing. The door unlocked as I heard sienna voice.
"Look I got my nails done?" She handed me my hand.
"Aw shucks, those dope" she smiled as Kyrie walked over.
"You like mine?"
"They Ight" she sucked her teeth with a mug.
"Keep that same energy" she turned on her heels and walked out the room. Levi started cracking up.
"That's what yo' ass get. No play for you"I swatted his fingers out my face. I got out my seat and walked towards my room. She was putting some stuff away as I leaned against the doorframe.
"You mad at me?" I asked. She flipped me off as she continued to straighten up. I pushed off the frame and walked over towards her. I touched her shoulder turning her around. Her eyes were clouded with tears and her face was red as if she was crying for awhile.
"Woah what's wrong?" I asked pulling her into a hug.
"Am I a bad person?" She mumbled through her tears. I rubbed her back supportively.
"Baby what's going on? Why the tears?" I tried to pull away to look at her but she kept her arms looped around me tightly.
"A couple days ago, I saw my mom" we never talked much about her. She was closed off about the whole situation evolving her.
"We don't have to talk about it"
"No I need to talk about it—please" she sniffled as I waited patiently.
"For years I tried to act like I didn't need that mother figure in my life but truth is, I really needed it. I have such a disconnect with myself because of her and the situation I got dragged in against my will. Why can't I be like the families on tv whose parents are happily married with four kids and a dog. Instead I was given a broken life. With a mother who cares more about being high than caring for her daughter." I kissed the top of her head as she wiped her tears.
"I always wondered what life would be like if she didn't get addicted. If my sibling wasn't a stillborn, would she still be in my life. If things didn't take the unexpected path, would I be more comfortable within myself. I was able to control questioning myself for years and then she pops back up and stirs the pot around." She finally pulled her head back and looked up at me.
"What happened when you saw her?" Another tears slipped down her face. I moved my hand and wiped it.
"She wants me to do a bone marrow transplant for her newborn son. She believes I'll be a match" I raised an eyebrow.
"I sense a but coming" she let out a sigh.
"He has A rare form of leukemia that starts in the utero that was exposed to toxins and drugs—she's using again" she moved her gaze down as more tears fell.
"She only wants me to help fix her mistake before Finn realizes. It took the possibility of loosing her child to even reach out to me." She continued.
"I'm assuming you don't want no parts of it" she nodded her head.
"It makes me feel like a bad person. She used the word little brother. It made me feel obligated to help him but I know no matter what I do, it won't increase his percentages of surviving a longer life" another tear slipped.
"I thought I was going to finally have my mother back in my life but instead she played with the strings of my heart. Why did I have to be dealt the bad hand?" I let out a sigh.
"Listen, Ky you're a good person no matter how you're feeling in this situation. I know deep down you want to help that baby because of the caring person you are. It doesn't make you bad person for also not helping. You aren't obligated to do anything but with whatever choice you make it doesn't change your character. Your mom just fails to realize how great of a women you are and still becoming. Her absence has created a huge hole in you but you've learned how to manage around it and push through. I mean look, you filled that vacant spot in my sister life, you give her a women figure to look up to everyday. I will be forever grateful for everything you do for her. Don't question yourself baby, you perfect the way you are" she sniffled nodding as she went back in for another hug.
"Thank you"
"I'm here for you"
* * * * *
"So it's really yours, huh" I spoke looking at BJ. He stared at that paper before passing it to me.
"Yeah I'm really having kid" he sighed rubbing his face. I looked over at Levi who had his lips tucked. This nigga never serious.
"You told your parents yet?" He scratched the back of his neck.
"I can only imagine how that conversation gonna go" Levi said.
"I can hear my mama now, I told you about messing with them fast ass girls" he imitated. We both let out a laugh. We was currently chilling outside waiting for Amanda to pull up. Bj wanted us to tag along with them to the mall. I had no problem with it as I still needed to secure a valentines present.
"I hope y'all wasn't waiting too long" she spoke walking up to us rubbing her belly. I looked over to see levi already looking at me. He covered his mouth to stop himself from laughing.
"Nah we was, come on"Bj said leading the way. She tried to grab his hand but he snatched it away. I couldn't help but let out a laugh.
"I told him the wrap the Willy" I laughed louder making him glare back at us. He was always having unprotected sex and we said it would catch up to him one day. That day has finally come.
"So are you both going to be the god father to our child?" She asked. I shrugged.
"Shit it don't matter, I'm cool with being the fun uncle" she nodded with tight lips.
"So Kyrie is going to be involved then" I heard her mumble. I raised an eyebrow.
"Hell yeah she gonna be involved, she loves being around kids" Levi said.
"I assume that's fine, right babe?" She asked. He cut her eyes at her. Today was going to be a very long night.
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Sorry for any mistakes
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~BR££