TW: MENTION OF S/A
HOLDEN KINCAIDE
PRESENT TIME
Scarlett's presence stopped the nightmares. Her warm touch. Her lotus perfume. Her citrus shampoo and conditioner and the lingering scent of strawberries on her delicate sun kissed skin. Her soft lips and the slight rise and fall of her chest as she slept soundlessly, tangled with my limbs, in my bedsheets.
Scarlett stopped the nightmares, replacing them with uninterrupted sleep.
Even though I never dreamt, I didn't feel like I was missing out. I wasn't missing out on dreams containing Scarlett, because I had the real thing in my arms. Whatever dream Scarlett and Holden did, real Scarlett and Holden could do it.
Maybe not everything. We couldn't step onto a magic carpet and have it fly us around the world, but I sure as hell would be questioning my sanity if they were the types of dreams I had. Fucking Disney Fairy tales.
I've spent my whole life with this empty hole in my chest, a hole that no matter how hard I tried to fill it, never filled. I tried to fill it with previously unpursued hobbies, like guitar, or art, but they never did the job. Nothing did the job until her.
I had felt that hole repair itself the first time she looked at me. Those gorgeous chocolate brown eyes that tore away at my internal walls with every glance. Those gorgeous pink lips that thinned ever so slightly when the largest smile blessed the face of the beholder, constructing a structure around the hole in my chest before it was rebuilt.
Whilst I thought Scarlett had been the one to fill that hole, which she was, it wasn't over something she did, but rather the way she made me feel. The love I had for Scarlett Valentine made my chest and heart look so whole, and so full, you'd never question if there were a hole there to begin with.
"What's going on in that big head of yours?" Scarlett's voice broke me out of said big head, a smile on her face as she rested her chin in her hand, her eye meeting mine across the long desk. I'd told Scarlett before we'd come back in to work that she'd have to stay seated on the other side of the desk, as far away from me as possible.
She'd questioned me with a frown on her face, her creased eyebrows showing she'd taken what I'd said negatively and slightly to heart.
'You'll distract me' I'd told her earlier, even from across the table she was distracting me. The way her bare shoulder and collarbones were exposed when she pushed her hair behind her ear and over her shoulders. The way her chest rose and fell with each breath. The way she made tiny, almost silent pants of annoyance that turned me the fuck on.
Scarlett was a distraction. One I didn't want to indulge in. One I couldn't help but do exactly that.
My greatest downfall, My last salvation.
"Nothing" Everything.
"Liar" Scarlett mumbled, eyeing me with suspicion, her eyes failing to hide her amusement. I cocked my head to the side, watching intensely as she consumed herself in work, or rather tried to.
"What did you just call me?" I asked, Scarlett's bottom lip disappearing between her teeth as she looked up at me innocently. Scarlett's throat bobbing as she swallowed sent a shiver down my spine and I cursed myself as I felt myself begin to harden under her gaze.
At work? Not the best time.
"Do you need hearing aids to match those glasses, grandpa?" Scarlett questioned, nodding her head in my direction as she sat forward in her seat, a teasing smile adorning her beautiful face. "I called you a liar."
"Grandpa, huh?" I asked, fixing my glasses positioning on my nose as they'd slightly fallen in the last couple hours of my head bent. "No more Daddy?"
Her face flushed at last nights memory. I never asked her to call me Daddy mid fuck as I pounded her deliciously tight cunt, in fact when she'd said it I had to stop, glance around the room and make sure it was only us, in which it was. She'd laughed at my confusion and panic, but also flushed face, telling me it was a joke and that a friend had told her to call me that just to see my reaction as I was fresh meat in the fucking department .
I didn't know if I liked it or hated it.
Never again.
"So, are you going to Eros' race?" I didn't bother trying to hide my grin as Scarlett looked down and away from me, flustered, flushed, chests rise and fall picking up pace. Eros had messaged Scarlett and I separately last night saying he had a race in a couple days and asking if we wanted to tag along. There was no doubt he was trying to drag Dean and Schmidt along too.
"Are you going?" I rebuffed.
"I asked you first."
"Then you'll have no problem answering first" I stated, watching Scarlett roll her eyes.
"Yes, I'm going" She replied as I sat myself back in the desk chair, adjusting my hips as I stared her down from across the desk.
"Lovely. Join me?" I questioned, Scarlett scoffing as she shook her head.
"You join me."
"But I want you to come with me" I rebuffed. Scarlett grunted, flicking her hair out of her eyes and sitting back up straight, her frown meeting my blank stare.
"What's the difference?" She asked.
"The difference is if I take you, you sit on my lap. If you take me, I'm sitting on yours" Something mischievous passed across Scarlett' eyes, the corners of her mouth twitching upwards as she sat forward, chin in hand, batting her eyelashes at me.
"What if I want you to sit on my lap?" She teased. I simply shrugged, pulling the glasses off my head and using my suit shirt to clean the lenses. Scarlett's eyes dropped to my slightly raised shirt.
"I'm 90 kilos of pure muscle, sunshine. It'd be a tough leg day for you" Scarlett's throat bobbed and I found myself drawn to her neck. Slim...long...almost begging for me to wrap my han-
"I guess I'll go with you" Scarlett replied, my mouth twitching up into a smirk.
I was already in the middle of speaking as the door opened. "I thought so."
"Thought what?" Scarlett and I both turned our heads to the door, Boone fucking Matthews standing straight and stiff in the doorway, hands tucked into his pant pockets, eyes bouncing between Scarlett and I.
Boone fucking Matthews. Dumb fucking Name.
"Hey Boone" My eyes cut back to Scarlett, my frown deepening as she offered him a friendly smile. If she wasn't smiling at me I didn't want her smiling at anyone at all. Especially not Boone who's personality is as boring and as dry as a tumbleweed.
"Miss Valentine" He winked at her, my eyebrows raising in surprise at the nerve on this guy.
Boone can be as friendly and flirt with Scarlett as much as he'd like, at the end of the day it was my bed she was ending up in, and my dick she was coming on.
When Boone's eyes finally shifted to me his flirtatious smile dropped. "We need to talk."
I knew exactly what he wanted to talk about. He'd been calling me the last couple days about it but I continued to ignore him. I stood up from my seat without a protest, or even a word for that matter and made my way towards Boone and the door. Instead of going directly there I took a detour, going the long way around the table to pass by Scarlett.
When I reached her I grabbed her jaw, tilted her head back, leant down and pressed my lips flush against her. I opened my eyes making eye contact with Boone as I massaged my tongue against Scarlett's, showing Boone what wasn't his to devour, but was in fact mine. I pulled back, pecking Scarlett's lips one more time before pressing a kiss to the skin under her ear.
"I'll be back in a minute" I said against her ear, pinching her waist before standing up, making my way around the table, and heading out the door, leaving Boone to follow.
"Could've just told me she was off limits" Boone stated as he followed behind me into an empty conference room.
"Actions speak louder then words" I replied, Boone closing the door behind us. I took a seat at one end of the conference table, expecting Boone to park his ass at the other end. He stayed frozen to the closed door.
"You avoided my calls."
"I was busy."
"Busy putting an end to your long reign of abstinence?" That was dumb on my end by not denying being a virgin when Boone asked a couple years ago when he saw my ring. I glanced down at my ring less finger.
"I noticed it perched on her hand before I noticed it no longer on yours" I tried to hide my smile at the mental image of Scarlett wearing my purity ring. Even Boone's lips twitched up slightly as he gave me a nod that said 'congratulations' and 'it's about time' in one.
Whilst I hated Boone Matthews with every fibre of my being, apart from Schmidt, he was my only work 'friend'. We'd trained and been at the academy together before being posted to the same city, same head quarters, specialising in the same thing. Homicide. We certainly didn't have the grab a beer after work, holiday together kind of friendship, but there was a mutual understanding between us that ran deeper than just in the confines of work.
He knew.
And I knew. I wasn't the only one with a shitting home life growing up.
"Anyway, if you actually picked up at least one of my damn calls rather than having your dick sucked, you'd know it's been approved" Boone stated, my shoulders going stiff. I knew what 'it' was, but still had to ask.
"What's been approved?"
"Your brothers case. It was approved to be reopened and reinvestigated. Well done Agent"
NOLAN HARTLEY
5 YEARS AGO
"There's 10 minutes on the clock" Coach yelled at the team, all of us huddled in a circle, shoulder to shoulder, dirty faced as we took our last time out.
"I don't care what those preppy bastards say or do, you ignore it, and if you can't, rough em up. This is the last 10 minutes of the season, we can't have any muck ups" Coach yelled, walking around the circle and giving each guy a slightly more aggressive then usual pat to the face.
"Kincaide, you're up" Coach patted Holden's chest before jumping out of the circle. Coach always excused himself when it was time for the Captain to motivate their team. Everyone's eyes were on a dirty faced, sweaty Holden.
"Alright guys, you all heard coach. For some of us-" Holden glanced between me, Schmidt, Dean and Eros, as well as a couple other guys on the team. "This is the last 10 minutes of our Senior football career. We've got to make the best of it."
"Win or lose, we're going home knowing we tried our hardest and our best. The one thing those fuckers-"
"Language."
"Those assholes can't take from us, is our spirit and drive; our drive to succeed and be the best team for us that we can possibly be. Tonight we've got each others backs no matter what, and in 10 minutes, this family will continue to have each others backs. Game or no game, this-" Holden pointed his finger around at everyone.
"-is your family. You protect them. You support them. You stand up for them. You fail together. You succeed together" Holden continued his speech, motivating the team as I let my eyes drift away and towards the stands. I scanned up and down, left to right, my heart slowly tearing apart at no sight of her. Just as I was about to give up my eyes locked onto a head of straight blonde hair. Don't get me wrong, half the crowd was blonde, but there was something so distinct, so natural, so beautiful about her blonde that made her stand out from the rest.
She was stood beside Scarlett, her small frame being absolutely devoured by a hoodie that looked 3 sizes too big for her. Scarlett caught onto my staring and offered a wave. I waved back, my heart bursting, confetti floating through the air as Mariah raised her hand, also waving at me. I loved Scarlett don't get me wrong. She was one of my best friends. We were so close she felt like a sister rather than a friend, but my favourite thing to come from being around her was the gorgeous blonde beside her that owned my whole entire heart and didn't even know it.
Mariah Alterio, you are the epitome of an angel. Gorgeous, Gentle, Kind, Pure.
"On three" Holden called, breaking me out of my trance, everyone in the teams hands already piled on top of each other. I quickly slapped my hand on top before we all threw them back, cheering as we headed out and onto the field. Me, Holden, Schmidt, Dean and Eros lingered behind, walking across the field whilst everyone else ran.
"Good speech man, very motivational" Dean complimented Holden, patting his shoulder. Holden raised his eyebrows.
"Really? You sure?"
"As sure as anyone can be. But let me ask you, did you come up with it yourself? or did you steal Troy Bolton's locker room speech in the third High School Musical?" Dean teased, Schmidt, Eros and I all snorting. Holden raised his eyebrows in suspicion as he side eyed Dean.
"You're an only child, Malkov. What's your excuse for watching a childish musical?" Dean and Holden got into a debacle and started wrestling moments before the game began. Every player from both teams took their place back on the field and then then the siren sounded.
Minutes dropped like leaves.
10 minutes
7 minutes.
5 minutes.
4 minutes.
An overwhelming feeling of pride and joy consumed my chest as I looked up at the score board. There was no way the preppy assholes could bounce back and beat us. We hogged the ball too much. We were winners.
3 minutes.
"Hey Hartley" Oh god don't fucking start. I kept my gaze ahead, on the game, ignoring Henry Goldwin. Henry Goldwin was a player on our team until he moved to St. Phillip's last year, his hate for me, Holden, Eros, Schmidt, Dean and even Scarlett only intensifying after his transfer. I wish I could get Scarlett over here and convince her to crack his head open...again.
Goldwin rambled, trying to get on my nerves but I continued to simply ignoring him. No bother gloating at my team winning, he didn't seem to even care about it. It was almost as if he only cared about causing a ruckus, stirring the pot and making someone explode. Tonight, I was his target.
2 minutes.
1 minute.
Just when I thought I'd successful avoided Henry's attempts at getting me worked up, he said one thing that brought me to a pause and pushed me over the fucking edge.
"I was having a wander the other day and happened to pass the Kincaides..." Goldwin grinned, shaking his head from side to side as he tutted.
"I wonder the kind of publicity a scandal like the shit that goes on in that house would get" I froze. I couldn't breathe. Partially because I wasn't even trying to suck in air but also because Henry Goldwin of all people knew what happened behind closed Kincaide doors, and he was hinting at sharing it to the world.
"I've got to say though, he doesn't have it that bad" I was seeing red. My hands formed tight fists at my sides, my chest heaving heavily as I scanned the field and stands trying to find anything that'd ground me. My eyes met Mariah's. We were far apart but still close enough I could make out the direction of her eyes as they bounced to Henry beside me, my face and then my fists.
"Sure being ass fucked by your brother must be bad, but having your hot Mum bounce-" Nothing and nobody could ground me. I turned and swung at Henry, my fist connecting with his jaw that made an awfully loud cracking noise on impact. I drowned out the loud roars and gasps from the crowd as well as other players as I got on the ground after Henry and wasted no time in tearing into him. His face was bloody, eyes half open as his head swung from side to side with each impact of my fist. Crunch after crack, blood spirt from his mouth then from his nose. My adrenaline mixed with anger had put me in such a high that if I hadn't been pulled off of Henry I probably would've killed him.
I ignored the loud standing crowd that were in shock at something I'd done as well as the shocked, wide eyed players from both my team and the opposing. Physical violence was never my kind of thing, but when someone brings up someone I care about, and especially in the way Holden was brought up, the friendly Nolan everyone knows disappears.
I tried to rip myself from multiple hands pulling me off and back away from Henry's practically unconscious form, wanting nothing more than to continue what had been interrupted.
I would've killed him had I not been dragged away. I wanted to kill him, and still do.
"Jesus Christ, Nolan" Eros was gripping onto my left arm holding me back.
"I'm proud but also a little freaked out" Dean mumbled, holding my shoulders back.
"What the fuck happened?" Schmidt had a tight grip of my right arm. I raised my eyes from the ground, them immediately latching onto Holden who was stood right in front of me.
I didn't say anything, I didn't have to. By the way his shoulders tensed, and his eyes that seemed to dissociate from the present drooped with exhaustion, Holden knew along the lines of what was said to make me snap.
He knew it was about him.
Hope ya'll liked the chapter. if not, boo fucking hoo.
Another Nolan POV. Just trying to hurt ya'll more by making you love him :)
Anyways,
Nigh Nights lovie dovies x <3