My life has never been easy. Not since I was five years old and I watched as a Siren ripped out my father's soul while my brothers beat each other to death under her spell. I spent the rest of my childhood in fear. Afraid of everything. Afraid of death, afraid of living, afraid of the monsters under my bed. Something changed when I turned 16. I guess I stopped being afraid. But I stopped being a lot of other things too.
People call me grumpy. That's alright. I can live with that. People would call me a lot worse if they knew what I kept inside. But that's what I'd become good at - keeping things inside. I buried things so deep within me that even I forgot about them. That's until something forced the memories back out. Like when I first clapped eyes on Raephier.
But burying things deep inside had its problems. Because even though I stopped thinking about things, even though I stopped grieving for my dad and brothers, and I stopped resenting my mother for re-marrying just 6 months after my dad had passed, someone forgot to tell my face that. And more specifically my mouth. So yes, I was grumpy, and yes I tended to yell at people and be rude and not really seem to care, but actually that was just the price I paid for keeping everything else hidden. Because if I didn't, if one day I let those walls down and thought about everything and let those emotions out, I wasn't sure how far the fall out would reach.
So as I watched The Flying Bounty leave the harbour, I carried on doing what I did best - I locked those feelings up tight and buried them deep inside before heading back to the tavern for a much needed drink.
I spent the next four months working on my Uncle's farm. It wasn't bad work. And I got on well with my cousin Joseph who practically ran the farm now my Uncle was approaching sixty. I wasn't sad or angry. But I wasn't exactly happy either. I just....was.
It was an unusually warm day towards the end of October when I heard the news.
"LYLE!!!"
I looked up, hammer paused mid air, when I heard my name being called.
"THEY'RE BACK!"
I let the hammer fall from my hand and stood upright as my cousin's son came running down the field. He was only 8 but was already as fast as a whippet. He didn't need to say anything else. I knew who he was talking about.
I felt a tension I hadn't even noticed release itself. They were safe. They were home.
"Lyle! Come on!"
I was pulled from my thoughts by Connor who was pulling on my arm, tugging me towards the gate which led back to the farm house.
"If we hurry we might be able to see them dock!"
"Alright, alright!" I groaned, pulling my arm free from Connor's insistent grip. As soon as my arm was free, I went to my tool box and began putting away everything I'd been using.
I could sense Connor almost vibrating with energy next to me, but I wasn't in any hurry. There was a nervous sort of anticipation flowing round my body and I wanted time for it to settle down before I went anywhere.
Once the last tool was put in its place, I knew I wouldn't be able to keep Connor waiting for any longer, so I set off with him back to the farm house. From there, we took the pony and trap along the lane to Greyton which was only 3 miles away.
The lane took us out to the coast, giving us the perfect view of The Flying Bounty as she inched slowly closer to the harbour wall. I felt something heavy settle in my stomach at the sight of her, and I wasn't sure why. I found my eyes glancing out to sea, looking out for any sign of movement in the water.
I caught a slight movement in the corner of my eye, over by the rocks. I stared hard, my eyes searching the water.
There it was again, only this time it was further round the headland, heading towards Gunter's cove. I felt my lips twitch at the hint of a smile.
"Can you walk from here?" I asked Connor. "I forgot, I was supposed to bring something for Jacob and I need to go back for it."
Conner looked over to me and frowned. I thought he was going to question me further, but seemed to change his mind at the last second and jumped off the trap before running down towards the harbour.
I quickly turned the horse around and headed back up the lane but took a left at the top onto a less trodden path, heading back towards the sea. It wasn't long before the going got too rough for the trap, so I got off and tied up the horse before picking up the satchell I'd brought with me and heading off on foot.
The cliffs were quite steep here, but thanks to my childhood, I knew the best routes down.
As soon as I landed on the beach I looked around.
"Raephier?!"
The wind was blowing, as it always was on the coast, so I tried again a little louder.
"RAEPHIER!"
"Over here!" came the reply.
I jogged over to the rocks where I heard the voice coming from. I climbed up onto the largest rock and peered over the top to see Raephier bobbing in the water just a little way away.
"Here," I said, throwing my satchell so it landed as close to the shore line as possible. I then turned round and jumped off the rock, landing on the sandy beach. I walked a little way away and then watched the waves gently lapping onto the shore, trying to ignore the fast thumping of my heart.
The Siren had that effect on me every time I saw him.
I focussed hard on emptying my mind, reminding myself that it wasn't Raephier's fault. I didn't want him to think I was mad at him. It wasn't fair to be upset over something Raephier had no control over.
A few minutes later I heard the light thump of feet landing on the sand, and I turned to see Raephier strolling over wearing Joseph's clothes. There was no way I was going to let him wear mine.
"Thanks Lyle," he said, handing the satchell back to me, and I couldn't help rolling my eyes in annoyance.
Raephier looked slightly confused and I couldn't blame him. I didn't even know why I was annoyed. It was just his presence, but I couldn't tell him that.
"We're gonna have to climb up there," I said, nodding to the cliff. "Just stick close to me and I'll show you where to put your feet."
I briefly considered letting him go first in case he slipped, but quickly decided that it would be better if he wasn't in my line of sight. Plus, fish tended to bounce, didn't they?
We made it up with no problems, and I found myself rather impressed with his climbing skills. I didn't tell him though. We'd maintained a silence throughout the climb, except for the odd instruction from myself, and I hoped it would stay that way for the rest of our journey.
Unfortunately, I wasn't so lucky. It seemed that once we were sitting down and the horse began pulling us back down the path, Raephier took that to mean we could talk.
"Thank you for bringing me some clothes," he said.
"I told Jacob I would," I replied.
"Ok, well I'll also thank you on Jacob's behalf then," Raephier said with a smile.
"Oh, you're speaking for him now, are you?" I grumbled back, snapping the reins slightly in the hope that the horse would go a little faster.
"I'm sure he'll also thank you himself once he sees you," Raephier said, seemingly unaffected by my tone.
I kept quiet, hoping the conversation would die there. The harbour wall was in sight when he decided to speak again.
"I found her for you."
"What?" I asked, snapping my head to the side to look at him.
"I found her," Raephier said, turning to look at me. I held his gaze for a couple of seconds before I had to turn away.
"The Siren?" I asked, gripping the reins tighter than I had been just a few seconds ago.
"Yes," Raephier replied.
The noise of the horse's hooves and the trap wheels did nothing to mask the silence.
"So that's all you're gonna say?" I eventually asked.
I heard Raephier sigh, and I risked a glance to see that he was frowning as if deep in thought.
"Can I ask why you want to find her?"
"Why do you think?" I replied in a clipped tone.
"Jacob said you want revenge."
"And what if I do?"
Raephier turned to look at me again, and even though I didn't look back, I could feel his gaze warming my cheek.
Eventually he turned away again, and I felt myself slowly release the breath I'd unconsciously been holding.
"I guess I understand why you'd want revenge," Raephier said softly, "but Hermoine is my friend and I don't want to see her get hurt."
I felt myself getting agitated.
"Look Siren. I get that she may have not done anything to you, but that doesn't mean she's good inside. All I want is a location or the name of the ship, that's all. What I do with that is my business, not yours. Now are you going to tell me or not, because I'm not going to beg."
"I wouldn't expect you to beg," said Rapehier, looking bemused by my choice of words. "I've already decided I'm going to tell you. But only if you promise me one thing first."
I chanced another glance in his direction. I didn't like the idea of promising anything to a Siren.
"Go on," I said.
"You have to promise me that you'll hear her out. Ask her why she did what she did. As long as you do that, what you do after, is, as you say, none of my business."
My eyes kept flicking from the road to Raephier and back again.
"So that's it? You want me to talk to her?"
"Yes, that's it."
"And what if while I'm talking she decides to use her powers on me?"
Raephier shook his head from side to side.
"She won't do that. As long as she doesn't think you're a threat."
"But I am a threat!"
"She doesn't know that."
Rather than reply, I gave my full attention to the horse as I pulled up in front of the tavern. I jumped down to tie up the horse. When I was done, I looked back to see Raephier still sitting in the trap, looking at me like he was waiting for an answer.
I raised an eyebrow at him and stared back.
Raephier tipped his head in defiance and waited.
He'd changed. He'd grown more confident.
Without intending to, my eyes glanced over the rest of him.
He looked good. Healthier. He'd filled out more which made him look stronger. When my eyes locked back with his, I saw him raise his eyebrows.
"Fine!" I huffed, looking away first, knowing I'd lost. "I promise I'll talk to her first."
Raephier grinned.
Smug bastard.
"Ok, well she's onboard a ship called Harmony. It's been trading between Harlin and Bassencourt. If you wait at either of those ports you should see it eventually."
I nodded to show I understood.
Raephier was about to say something else when we were interrupted.
"LYLE!!!"
I turned to see Gabriel running towards me, followed by a laughing Pete and Jacob.
I forced a smile onto my face and accepted the inevitable hugs and shoulder slaps. Despite my muted enthusiasm, it was good to see them and I followed them into the tavern to hear about their latest adventures.
It was just three weeks later when we were setting sail again. I'd decided to join them as far as Jachico and from there I'd rent a small sail boat to Bassencourt. James had also joined us this time, after getting married two weeks earlier. The jokes of him already being tired of his wife's nagging were probably going to continue for the entire trip.
It took me no time at all to get into my old rhythm. As grateful as I was to be able to work on my uncle's farm, there was no doubt in my mind that I was born to be a sailor.
The journey was uneventful. With the ship under camouflage it was easy to slip away from the island, and no one bothered us while we were away from home.
I waved the ship and crew goodbye at Jachico with a promise that they'd be back there in exactly a month to pick me back up. I'd had a quiet word with Jacob and told him that if I wasn't there on his return, he was not to wait any longer than a week for me. Jacob argued of course, but I reminded him that there was a chance that I would never show up.
Jacob tried to talk me out of it on a couple of occasions, but gave up quite quickly when he saw my determination to see it through. Raephier surprisingly remained silent on the subject. It was almost as if he understood why I needed to do it, and I respected him more for his decision not to interfere.
It took me two days to acquire a suitable boat and then three days to sail to Bassencourt. I'd never been to Bassencourt, but with one glance I knew it wasn't a place I would come back to either. It was a trading port, but the only trading that went on was for large construction materials. Bassencourt was basically a small port town, attached to a large quarry. There was nothing quaint about it. The majority of the docks were geared up for large ships. Thankfully there were a few smaller piers at one end, probably for local fishing boats to moor up, and I found a space amongst them.
As soon as I'd moored up, I found myself heading towards the two large ships that were in dock.
Neither of them was Harmony.
I turned and made my way into the nearest Tavern. I walked up to the bar and sat on a stool, pulling out a couple of coins and tapping them idly on the counter.
"What can I get ya sailor?"
I jumped slightly at the gruff voice, but then gave a brief nod of greeting to the greying bartender who was standing in front of me with a bar cloth hanging over his shoulder.
"Just a tankard of ale, thanks," I replied.
I thought that would be the end of our conversation for now, but clearly not.
"I haven't seen you round these parts before," the man said, before sliding over a full tankard of ale.
I glanced up at him. He looked friendly enough, like he was genuinely curious about my visit. It occurred to me then that they may not get many visitors who didn't work or live in the small town.
"Aye, it's my first time here," I replied. "I'm hoping to make contact with the ship Harmony. Have you heard of it?"
The barman laughed. "Heard of it? Why, its crew keep me in business."
I tried not to show too much interest and stopped myself from hastily asking more questions by taking a sip of my ale.
After I'd swallowed I asked,
"Do you know when it'll next be in port?"
"Day after tomorrow, I reckon," the man said, making me grip my tankard tighter. "Captain's always on the lookout for new crew if ya interested?"
I blinked, caught off guard by the question. But it made sense.
"Aye, I was looking for work, yes," I replied.
The barman nodded, "I'll put in a word for you then, when I see the Captain."
"Thanks, I appreciate it," I replied.
The barman disappeared briefly to serve someone else.
"Do you have any rooms available?" I asked when he'd finished with the other customer.
"Aye," he replied, fishing out a key from behind the bar.
I took the key and paid him for the room. I decided that I'd finish my ale and then turn in for the night, not wishing to attract any unwanted attention.
Just as I stood to make my way to the back door, I felt a hand on my shoulder.
I turned to see a woman smiling at me in a way that made her intentions clear.
"Fancy some company sailor?" she said, in what was probably supposed to be a seductive voice.
She was prettier than most of the prostitutes I'd seen which made me think she hadn't been in the business for long.
"Not interested, love," I said, gently removing her hand off my shoulder.
I saw the flash of disappointment cross her face, before the smile was back in place.
"If you change your mind, just ask for Charlotte," she shouted after me as I walked away.
It was commonplace for sailors to seek the company of a prostitute, but I'd never seen the attraction. I'd tried it once when my friends paid for one for my 18th birthday, but it was awkward and embarrassing and really not my thing.
My room was small but serviceable and thankfully I had only been there for two nights when Harmony docked at the harbour.
I knew as soon as I woke up due to the noise in the bar below.
Harmony was a big ship. Bigger than any I had worked on, and must have had a crew of at least a hundred men, probably more.
It didn't take me long to search out the Captain. He was a large man, with a black tricorn hat and red tail coat. He looked like he was trying to pass off as a navy Captain but failing miserably. His coat was obviously a couple of sizes too small and his hair and beard were wild and untamed.
Still, I bore the man no ill will, so I approached him with a tankard of ale.
"Drink Captain?" I asked, sliding the ale towards him.
The man turned round slowly and gave me the once over with his eyes before smiling and accepting the drink.
"You're not one of my men," the Captain said, pausing to take a sip of the ale, "so I'm guessing that you want something from me?"
I couldn't help the small smile at his astuteness.
"Yes, I was hoping you could help. But it's a bit of a delicate situation, which I would rather speak to you about in private, if that's alright."
"Private eh?" the Captain said, seeming to mull over my request.
He took another long drink of his ale before getting up and I thought he was just going to walk away, but then he turned to me and said,
"Meet me on board my ship, tomorrow morning at sunrise."
And then he walked out of the tavern.
I was at the ship before sunrise. Partly because I didn't want to be late, but also because I couldn't sleep. I'd spent the night before talking to the crew and watching the Captain from a distance. I'd found out his name was Captain Harry Hawkins. He seemed to be well liked by the sailors; firm but fair is how they described him. It gave me hope that he might agree to my proposal. None of the crew mentioned anything about the Siren, but then it wasn't like I asked either.
As soon as the sun was peeking over the horizon, I made my way up the gangboard and onto the deck. I was greeted by a watchman at the top, but he seemed to be expecting me as he directed me to the stern of the ship, where I could see Captain Hawkins staring out to sea.
"Captain," I addressed him, as soon as I was close enough for him to hear me.
"Ahhh, you came," he said, turning to face me.
"Of course I did," I said with a scowl, then quickly forced my face to relax. I was here to ask a favour so the last thing I wanted to do was upset the Captain.
"What's your name, sailor?" Captain Hawkins asked, looking at me curiously.
"Lyle Wentworth, Captain," I replied.
"So, Mr Wentworth, what is it you wished to discuss?"
I took a glance around to make sure no one was close enough to overhear our conversation. Afterall, I wasn't sure if the crew were even aware of what kind of a monster they were carrying on their ship.
"I wish to speak to you about the Siren you have on board, Sir."
Captain Hawkins visibly tensed, and his hand moved to rest on the handle of his cutlass.
I stayed perfectly still, not wishing to be seen as a threat. The only weapon I had on me was my dad's fishing knife, and that was tucked away out of sight.
"Who told you?" Captain Hawkins said, his friendly demeanour now totally gone.
I shook my head.
"I have my sources, but who told me doesn't matter."
The Captain raised a sceptical eyebrow.
"They can be trusted," I added, even if my word meant nothing to him.
"And what business do you have with the Siren?" he asked.
"The unfinished kind," I said, my voice betraying my hate for the thing.
"Ah, I see," the Captain said, nodding his head in understanding. "Who was it?"
"My father and two brothers," I replied.
The Captain raised his eyebrows in surprise. "All at the same time?"
"Aye," I replied. "I was five at the time and so unaffected by her song."
"Five eh?" The Captain sighed before walking over to the railing and leaning on it while looking out to see. "That's young to have seen that."
"I know," I said, walking over and joining him at the railing, staring out to sea.
Nothing was said for a few minutes and I could tell that the Captain was deep in thought.
Eventually he asked,
"What exactly is it that you want?"
Just a few weeks ago I would have said revenge, but after making my promise to Raephier and having time to think about it things changed.
"Answers," I replied. "Answers only the Siren can give me."
The Captain nodded in understanding. "And revenge?" he asked.
"Maybe," I said with a shrug. "I made a promise that I would hear her out before seeking revenge."
"Hmmm, wise words," the Captain said, and I wondered briefly whether he and Raephier had met.
The Captain finally turned to face me.
"If you're hoping to come away from this with an understanding of why your family died, I think you're going to be disappointed. Afterall, is there ever a reason good enough to explain away the murder of those you love the most?"
"You think I will end up killing her," I said.
The Captain shrugged. "Or she'll end up killing you."
"That's a risk I'm willing to take," I replied without hesitation.
"It's not just you who will be taking a risk," the Captain said.
"Aye, I know," I said, knowing that this was the crucial part of our discussion. The Siren after all belonged to the Captain and if he wouldn't let me near her, there wasn't much else I could do.
"I have savings" I said, trying to keep the desperation out of my voice. "It won't be enough but if I kill it, I promise to work off my debt to you, even if that means I work on your ship for the rest of my life."
The Captain looked surprised at my offer, which left me with a glimmer of hope.
Then he began to laugh, and that hope shrivelled into dust which blew away in the breeze.
"Oh, I like you Lyle Wentworth," he said, after he'd calmed down, "but if you killed the Siren I would owe you, not the other way around."
"What?" I asked, in shock.
"You think I like having that thing on my ship? I'm not a navy ship, and no pirate wants what I carry. What use would I have for a Siren."
"Well why did you buy her then?" I asked.
"Buy her?! I didn't buy her. The pretty version is that I'm doing a favour for a friend. The ugly version is that this is my penance for letting that friend down."
"And that friend wouldn't mind if I killed it?"
The Captain shrugged. "As long as you did it fairly, I don't think she'd mind. But I have to warn you, I don't rate your chances too much."
My mind stalled on the word 'she' for a second before I registered the rest of what he'd said.
"You think the Siren will use its powers before I get the chance to kill it."
The Captain gave a lazy shrug but his answer was clear. He thought I was as good as dead already.
"Look, I'll give you your best shot and make sure she's been fed, but that's the best I can do for you."
I nodded my appreciation and decided not to fixate too much on what exactly the Siren would be fed on.
"We set sail again tomorrow at noon. I'll have the Siren placed on a small island just 20 miles due east of here. I'll give you 2 hours then I'll return."
"Thank you," I replied.
The Captain stuck out his hand and I shook it.
"Good luck," he said.
I turned and walked away but then I heard the Captain call my name.
"Yes?" I asked, turning back to look at him.
"If I find your body, what would you like me to do with it?"
I blinked a couple of times.
"Just bury me at sea. My friends know where I am and the risk I'm taking. If I don't return, they will presume I'm dead."
"I can do that," the Captain said with a slow nod.
I walked off the ship in a sort of daze.
It was really happening. Tomorrow I would get to face the monster that ruined my life.
I was under no illusion that there was a good chance I would die at its hands, but I wasn't scared. Somehow whether I lived or died wasn't important. All that mattered was that I faced the monster who had killed my family. That I looked it in the eyes and let it know that I wasn't afraid anymore.