When I awoke, I expected to find darkness. And I did. But I had never found darkness so comforting, my only solace in Severus' eyes. A chair had been drawn beside the bed, had he stayed all night? Guilt curdled in my stomach at the thought; this was his bed, not mine. "How are you feeling?" His voice croaked tiredly. How was I feeling? I inhaled a deep breath, sitting up to assess my state. A slight wobble occurred in my head, but overall I was much better than I had anticipated. Snape noticed this, extending one last potion towards me without hesitance. "This will alleviate the dizziness."
His words were true, the moment the liquid traversed my throat any previous feelings had dissipated. "May I?" His questioning confused me, as he motioned towards the bandages atop my head. "Oh. Of course." I breathed, allowing him to remove them and take a look at the back of my head. Momentarily, he reached into the cabinet beside the bed and took out a potion, placing a few drops onto where my injury had occurred. "Dittany will help with the scarring. Everything else seems to have healed well." An almost sigh of relief emitted from him, as I sent him a small smile of appreciation, "Thank you."
Before I had a chance to try and leave, however, he stopped me in my tracks, "Now, are you going to tell me what happened last night?" My eyes glazed over at the thought, my hands beginning to tremble uncontrollably, which did not go un-noticed.
"How do I know you're you? That no-one else is listening?" I croaked, a tear streaming down my cheeks as fear began to overwhelm me.
Without hesitance, Severus produced his wand from his sleeve and pointed it at the door, "Muffliato." And when his eyes met mine again, Severus' hands instinctively placed themselves over my own, "I'm here. Always." His sincerity caused the convulsions to cease, my nerves dismissed as I took a deep breath, readying myself to tell my truth.
And, this time, I did...
"The night I slipped that note under your door, I was introduced to you-know-who," I sighed, watching the fear flicker like a small flame in his coal eyes. "You was right, Severus. He's alive...Weak, but alive." I clarified, watching the colour drain from the man's already paling complexion.
"Merlin's." He breathed, his mouth agape at the notion.
Nodding, I tried to steady my heartbeat a little more, the pounding in my chest now loud enough to hear from across the room. "In exchange for my loyalty, he promised to spare your life and Harry's. And he has helped me regain some of my magic. But, I fear where it's now coming from."
Severus' eyes glistened with tears, but he did not allow a single one to fall as his gaze latched onto my own, "Where do you believe it is coming from?" He asked, but I knew he did not truly wish for an answer. The man knew what I would say before my lips parted to speak it, "Somewhere dark. I can only produce darker magic, now. And, last night, he asked me to perform Necromancy on a dead crow." I gulped, trying to force back down whatever I had eaten the night prior, for dinner.
Severus, too, turned a shade of green, all hope in his eyes diminished at my words. "And did you? Perform Necromancy?" As though he, once more, had already calculated my answer, his eyes averted to the dark, stony floor in his room. I shook my head, "No." And before I had a chance to explain anymore, a sigh of sheer relief escaped him, his hand squeezing my own tighter than ever before. "But, when I got back to my dorm, there was a dead mouse on my bed. And I thought, what if there was a way to bring someone back with their soul still in tact? So, I formulated my own spell in Latin and...Tried it out." I breathed, a regretful tear trailing my cheek at the thought of him judging me for my deed, unable to bring myself to meet his eyes.
"And that was what caused you to hit your head?"
I nodded, hearing the weariness in his tone of voice. A sob escaped me, the tears falling down my cheeks at an uncontrollable rate, now.
"Did it work?"
Nodding, once more, I finally allowed myself to face him, his eyes wide in fear and disbelief. "May I see your wand?" Sniffling, I used my sleeve to wipe my cheeks and held my broken wand out to him, "I didn't use it to case the spell. Voldemort broke it because he said I was relying on it too much." I sniffled, forcing anymore tears away. Severus' eyes narrowed onto my own, "You're telling me, you performed your own incantation, brought a soul back to its physical body and did so wandless?"
I calmed a hitched breath and nodded a final time. Severus' breathing became sparse, "This is beyond anything I have ever heard of. We need to speak to Dumbledore and inform The Order, at once." The order? My brows furrowed in confusion, but I became far too preoccupied by the man grasping my hand and attempting to leave his private chambers to think of it too much.
"We can't tell Dumbledore! He'll kill me if he finds out I told anyone!" I didn't care much for my own life anymore, but I knew it meant something to Severus as he came to a sharp halt and turned to find my eyes. "My dear, surely you cannot expect me to keep allowing you to go to the Dark Lord every fortnight, train with him and have no inkling as to what he is planning on doing with you!? Voldemort does not take promises lightly, on his own part. Don't think for a moment he won't expect more than your loyalty in return! You're just a child! You're far too young to be meddling in things such as this."
His words struck me like a sword to me chest, the inability to breathe overwhelming at his wish to hurt me as best as he could. My eyes narrowed, angry now as I could feel my emotions beginning to take over. "Since coming to Hogwarts, I have nearly drowned, twice! I have been bitten by a Basilisk and a Werewolf! I have been forced to take a Death Eater's mark; And now, I am being trained by the darkest wizard of all time whom I plan on killing, one day, with my own hands! I have dealt with a lot more than you give me credit for, Severus!" I was shouting now, anger coursing through me as an empty potion vial perched atop the bed side cabinet combusted, startling us both momentarily.
But the Potion's Master was not fearful of me, his eyes watching me with more respect than I had ever witnessed before; as though he finally no longer saw me as a child. A certain familiarity glimmered in his eyes, his face yielding to the shock for a moment that I couldn't quite decipher the cause of. Finally, the fear began to set in. Again, I was not the cause. Something in his barricaded mind was.
"You are allowing this new way of producing magic to overwhelm you. The Dark Lord clearly does not wish for you to control it, rather the opposite; similar to the source you used to produce Fiendfyre the night of the Yule Ball. You need to command it, not succumb to it. Tomorrow, we will go to Ollivander's in Hogsmeade. You will require a new wand. And, your training lessons with me will resume."
I felt as though I could breathe finally, the weight suddenly lifting from my chest as I nodded. It was time for me to leave, now. But I doubted Severus Snape would ever let me venture the castle alone, again.
"Emerald?"
"Hm?"
"Who is Professor Moody?"
Sighing, I turned to look at him, "Crouch's son." The man in clad-black scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief, "I should have known." He left it at this, but I feared he would do more with this information in the weeks to come.
With nothing left to say, I turned to leave the room. Before I had a chance to do so, however, his arms engulfed me once more, shrouding me with warmth I wished to stay inside forever. "I'm so sorry." His voice was barely legible. I knew it was for me, something he had on the tip of his tongue for over a month and a half, now. He did not need to share what his apology was for. I already knew. But, Severus and I would forgive each other for just about anything, I had come to realise...
***
Morning had arrived, the following day; Severus and I meeting in the courtyard before any other students had awakened to make the trip to Hogsmeade. Ollivander owned a franchise of shops. But, unfortunately, the man was not present in his Hogsmeade abode; a younger wizard waiting to greet us at the front of the store when we entered; exactly as we had three years prior.
The tape was removed from holding it together at the handle, the man beginning to assess the damage and possibility of repair. "I'm surprised Garrick sold you an elder wood wand."
My brows furrowed at his comment, as I exchanged a short glance with Severus. Suddenly, I remembered the look in his eyes the day I first purchased the wand; as though he had ventured away to a distant world. "Why?" I asked, narrowing my eyes on the worker, who was eyeing the wand with the same fascination Ollivander shared, the day he sold it to me.
"Well," The man tusked, using his own wand to levitate it in the air, rotating the wand for a better view, "Well, it's certainly the rarest. Only one other was ever made and it is, to date, the most powerful wand in existence; said to have been made by Death, itself. A very unlucky wood, as well. I can salvage some of it, but I'll have to remove the paint and take a look at the phoenix feather core before I can tell you for definite." The man shrugged, exchanging a short glance with myself and Severus, whom was standing closely behind me.
"How long?"
"An hour." The worker answered, simply, looking back at the wand. The Potion Master's hand settled onto my shoulder, before we left the shop together. Before I had a chance to question him about what the worker had said, however, he cut my train of thought short. "How about we wait in the three broomsticks. I'm sure we can get something to eat, there." His lips pursed into a half smile, to which I nodded in agreement; stomach rumbling as we found a booth and ordered our food. I had pancakes, my favourite. Severus, however, merely ordered toast; how bland. But I kept my thoughts to myself on the matter. Evidently, he did not; scoffing as I soaked them in syrup. 'Just like her mother.'
A small pang tinged in my chest, but it went unnoticed by the man as I took a bit of my food; the silence comforting, as it always had been. No matter what, Severus would always compare me to my mother. That's just the way it was...
"You could have told me, you know? About looking after me when I was little." I noted, Severus taking a bit of his toast as he mulled over my words, regret sinking into those ebony eyes. "I was afraid you would resent me for it. I didn't want to jeopardise whatever relationship we were building, at the time."
'Not like last time.'
Again, that feeling recurred that felt like a short stab to the chest. "I didn't resent you for it at all. I just resented hearing it from someone else." It would be far too risky to speak Voldemort's name, even in a quiet pub so early in the morning. We both knew that.
Severus nodded, "I know. And I'm sorry."
"It's alright," I shrugged, taking another bite and savouring the sweetness, "But, is there anything else you should tell me before I hear it elsewhere?" I cocked an eyebrow, watching his face contort for a moment.
"There is," He sighed, taking a small sip of his tea, "But not now. And certainly not here." This greatly peaked my interest.
Before we knew it, the hour was up and we were making our way back to the wand shop, stepping inside as the same man waited to greet us, box in hand.
"I managed to repair the breakage. But it required sanding and part of a new phoenix feather. Along with some of my own modifications, I think you'll like." He smirked, opening the box and presenting the wand inside, now entirely different from the ebony and green wand I owned prior.
The length remained in tact, a new handle replacing where the old one had broken in half. The white elderwood was exposed, creating a porcelain effect; various arches had been carved into it, to make it almost look like bone. It came to a rounded point; the handle squared with a dark stone placed on top. When I took a second glance, swirling, golden sand glistened inside the dark gem. It was the most beautiful, delicate wand I had ever seen.
"Inside the onyx is sand from a time turner. I thought it might bring good luck to the wand."
The man's words made a huge smile spread across my cheeks to the point it made them ache. "It's beautiful."
As I turned to face Severus with my new wand in hand I, too, could see the contempt in his eyes; completely opposing the uncertainty in them the first time I received my wand. A small, barely noticeable to anyone else, smile appeared through his thin lips; with no more than a simple nod in satisfaction, he paid the wand-maker for his services and we exited the shop, making our way back to the castle...