(Author note: Thank you for 71k, I never thought my shit writing and fob English was even good HAHA)
"I said I'll drive to your apartment." Ichigo says on the phone as he walked down the aisle of 7/11 picking up snack. Looking at the energy drink and raising his eyebrows he felt the need you might need one before throwing it in the basket. "Yes babe, I know. I'll meet you soon."
He pulled out some cash and carefully made his way to your apartment.
"Oi!" She screamed from being frighten of Ichigo coming in through her window. "Old habits never die." He tells her with a chuckle before kissing her cheek.
"Yeah but what if someone saw you?"
"You worry to much, here I got you some food and a drink."
There was a genuine warmth in her as she took the bag and unpacked the food, she was exhausted, feeling let down. School was already a challenge plus working a part time job there was really never a time for relaxation in her day.
"Stressed?" Ichigo asks in concern as he watched her happily chew down the noodles. A part of her wanted to tell him the truth but another didn't because he already had other things stressing his life out as well.
"I'm okay babe." She answers scooting closer to him as Ichigo wrapped his long arms around her body for comfort.
"I miss nights like these."
"You mean, you miss the days you were out fighting."
"Yeah that too." He smirks as they sat in a comfortable silence and the only sound that could be heard was from the dinner she was eating.
"Ichigo can I be honest with you."
He turns his head closer to hers curious to what she had to say. Ichigo tighten his grip around her as he nodded his head. "Of course babe."
"I think I'm depressed, or I mean I have depression."
There was silence in the room as she felt insecure, she wanted to know what he was thinking. She didn't want Ichigo to think she was weak but there was only so much she could handle in her life.
"(Your Name), I will always be here for you, I'm glad you reached out to tell me. I'm sorry I was unaware you were feeling this way." Ichigo felt a pang in his chest, he knew depression very well. It was not anything new to him. Especially when he lost his powers, he knew how to sympathize with her. He loved (Your Name) dearly.
"I'm sorry, I've been going through a tough time, I just feel empty these days. I feel like I'm not enough. I'm not smart, I'm struggling in school. I have to pay bills, we've haven't seen each other for a while and it's all because of me and my messy life." She quickly rants losing her appetite now as she held onto his arms.
"I'm sorry baby, I'm here for you. We will get through this. You are enough, only the strongest people can admit their weakness, I'm proud of you and all you have accomplished." Ichigo says lifting her body up and laying them down on the full size bed.
(Your Name) sighed as she confined in his warmth, Ichigo was always good with his words when she needed a boost, that is why she fell in love with him.
"I know, it sounds pathetic, you've been through worse." She adds as he squeezes her body.
"Don't compare our lives, everyone's sadness has meaning to it and none of it is stupid or should be taken lightly." He tells her as she smiled and let a small chuckle.
"You've really matured Ichigo."
"I guess I have." Ichigo murmurs watching as she was drifting asleep, watching her eyes close slowly and her breath become more calm he looks around her room. It was a mess, papers everywhere, work clothes on the floor, trash splattered.
How long hasn't he seen her? Maybe a week or a little more. This was the first he's seen her room so messy, maybe she was trying to keep everything in for a while.
The next morning (Your Name) awoke as she rubbed her eyes to see her room was neatly clean. "Damn him."
"Morning sleepy, I did a favor to help you out." He smiles as she got out of bed to get ready for the day. "I'm embarrassed, I haven't had time to clean."
"It's natural don't worry."
There was a silence as he took a good look at her, the under eye bags and collar bone becoming more define, Ichigo knew his girlfriend was not taking care of herself in the right way.
"(Your Name), I know it's my gap semester but I want to go to soul society for a bit."
She turns her head and smiled "I think that's a great idea for you! I mean technically they could always station someone else here for a while."
Ichigo was relieved she was okay with him leaving for a bit, he hoped with him gone it wouldn't affect her.
"I also think it's good, I just wanna train and take a break from all this stress right now. I shouldn't be gone long. Will you be okay?"
(Your Name) hesitated but sat next to him and put her hand with his and gave it a small kiss. "I'll be okay, it's not like I can't handle myself. This gap semester you should focus on yourself. Don't worry about me." Ichigo rubbed his thump around her hands as he looked down. He really hope she would be okay, he knew she had a tendency to not tell him her problems till the breaking point.
"I won't be gone long." He secretly promised her.
Oh how wrong she was, a week turn into a month and a month turned in a whole semester, she had no way to contact the other place most of those soul reapers called home. As a human with no powers she was pathetic. All she knew was work and school. This semester particularly was worse as she had to handle the stress of making rent and doing project after project in order to graduate on time.
The first month wasn't as bad, it was the usual until she stop concentrating on work and her mind would venture if Ichigo forgot about her or even worse, just left her in the dark. She knew he wasn't like that though.
"You are fired." (Your Name) boss told her as she entered the restaurant for her morning shift. "What? What do you mean?"
"You've called in for the past shifts with no real explanation. If you need less days we can give you that but we hired you as full time and other employees need the hours you are taking from them and then you don't even show up."
(Your Name) was panicking, she needed this job, technically it probably wouldn't be hard to find a new one but to catch up on rent and her expenses.
"I don't understand, I come to work but yes I've been behind on school so I couldn't make it in but I will start coming to all my shifts."
That day she went home crying and frustrated at herself for falling behind on everything.
Her medication wasn't working, insomnia was the worst part as she laid in bed every night trying to plan her next move.
"They said college would be your best years." She whispered while checking her phone to see no message from Ichigo.
Ichigo had a amazing time visiting everyone as staying to train for a bit, he even got to see Rukia most days and bicker with Renji every so often, he really felt like a 15 year old again with no worries. Of course (Your Name) was always in the back of his head. His girlfriend was one of the strongest person he knew mentally. She was mature and wise, responsible and reliable. If only he knew she was falling apart slowly and losing all those traits.
"Ichigo you've been here for a while, how's school, you don't go anymore?" Rukia asked one day as they finished a sword session.
"No, I took a gap semester, meaning I took it off till the next one starts."
"Humans and their confusing culture." She chuckles "You do know time moves differently here." She adds worried he forgot or worse he didn't even know.
"What?!" Ichigo panics and stood up. Rukia calms him down and explained.
"Our time moves way slower than the human world. Luckily you've been here for 3 weeks." She tells him as he asked how long it's been in the human world.
"I'm not sure, 3 months."
(Your Name) didn't really understand why healthcare was so expensive, it was a scam but the only way she could sleep was with sleeping pills to help her insomnia.
"I've been seeing traits of depression (Your Name)." The doctor explains as she seats down across with her hands on her lap trying to compose herself.
She refused to ask for help, and in no way did she wanna pay for another medical bill if they prescribed her anti depressants.
"I'm okay, sleep will help." She answers back and leaves the place less than happy.
Walking into her apartment she spotted the picture frame of her and Ichigo, picking up the frame she felt her body starting to shake and her throat closing in. He was her sunshine, the one that could pull her out the darkness.
She knew he wouldn't leave her but why did she feel abandon, especially during the worst times in life.
Ichigo had his arm around her waist as she held onto his arms in the snow. The tears slowly turned to frustration as she threw the picture and his clothes all over the house.
"I hate you." She whispers before slamming her door.
"Miss (Last Name) you've been falling asleep in class, you can always attend student hours to help improve the parts you missed." Her professor said the next day.
"I'm sorry." She whispers with no explanation and took her leave. Finals were coming up.
The endless night studying and then finding a new job tired her. "Honestly what's the point of slaven my life away, even living is a scam." (Your Name) laughs while staring at a problem she had been stuck on for the past hour.
Looking at the clock it was about to reach 2 AM, sighing she walked around the room to avoid stepping on the clean clothes on the floor and making her way to the kitchen.
Ichigo had made it back, how could he be so stupid, time was such a complex topic. He really had been gone for a while. Picking up the broken frame from the floor he felt a desperation in his heart that (Your Name) would forgive him. His clothes and belongings all over the house had been knocked down like trash on the street. Her medication bottles, books and papers scattered around.
Ichigo knew (Your Name) was a organized person but the apartment looked like it hadn't been tended for from someone that couldn't get out of bed.
He heard her footsteps coming out the room as he couldn't remove his gaze on the broken picture frame.
(Your Name) screamed as she saw a dark figure and ran to turn the lights on.
"ICHIGO!"
His arm drops as the frame broke even more as it crashed on the floor, she swallowed the lump in her throat and finally saw how messy her life really was.
"Jeez, please let this be a joke." She humored herself.
Ichigo eyebrow knitted "A joke (Your Name), clearly you need help! Look around you, you aren't taking care of yourself!" He shouts at her as she took offensive quickly.
"I don't know who you think you are yelling at me." She answers back defensively and turned her back to him. Ichigo barged into her room and even there it was a mess. And then made it into the kitchen and opened the fridge and pantry, almost nearly empty.
"(Your Name)!" He shouts as she went onto the couch sitting on whatever that was thrown there for weeks.
"Ichigo, just leave me right now, you had no problem with that a while ago." She says as he felt hurt, she made the allegation that he did not care for her no more.
"How could you say that." The orange hair man scoffs.
"Fine! Look at me! I know I'm a mess! My life is slowly falling apart! How could you possibly know! You have a family, you don't have to worry about when rent is due or the next meal and school tuition being paid! I got laid off my job, I've been prescribed sleeping pills and I was falling behind school! JEEZ ICHIGO HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW?!" She screamed taking the rest of her pent up anger onto Ichigo throwing his belonging onto him and kicking the floor and slamming the furniture.
There was a moment of silence before she realized her wrong doing as she started to shake again, she was getting a headache. (Your Name) hands scattered around her medication bottles to find her anxiety pills and pain relievers.
Ichigo watch in pain to see his girlfriend desperately throwing stuff on the ground trying to find the things she needed most.
He grabs her hands as she tried to resist him.
"(Your Name)." Ichigo calmly says her name as she kept chanting 'no no no' resisting his touch and avoiding his face.
"(YOUR NAME)!"
There was fear into those eyes and Ichigo was in pain, never in the years they had been together did she ever give him that look. "I'm sorry, I did not mean to yell at you." He says as she looked down.
"It's okay." She whispered as he guided her onto her bed. There was a long silence between them. Both of them not sure what to say to each other.
Ichigo was also one that knew pain really well, he just wish he knew how to help her.
"I don't want to leave you." Ichigo tells her as (Your Name) bit her lip listening to his every word. "Time moves differently up there and I lost track, I want to apologize for not being able to contact you either, I really did leave you in the dark."
She sighed and turned off her laptop before getting into bed.
"I'm at fault too, I put your feeling away so mine could be prioritized, I should have never blamed you for enjoying your time off."
He put his hand on her stomach and rubbed it, he was no fool. She was going through a tough time and especially now he should have been there. It was natural she would be angry.
"I know I can't make up for lost time but (Your Name) we need to communicate better. I know we can fix what's broken."
There was a shift in the bed as she turned onto her side and broke down. (Your Name) knew she didn't deserve this type of happiness especially after lashing out on her sunshine her world.
"I'm such a horrible person how could you still want me, my problems and this miserable life I've created." She chokes as her heart clenched on the thought of Ichigo actually leaving.
"Commitment, my friends were with me at my lowest and I'd do the same for you." Ichigo says wrapped his warm around her.
"I'm sorry." (Your Name) chants to Ichigo as he soothed her by rubbing her back and kissing her head softly.
"Everything will be okay, it will be okay." He tells her as the crying stops and she fell asleep.
The next morning, Ichigo was softly snoring next to her, one arm under her as she looked around. She knew her eyes were swollen by now.
With a sad smile she caressed his face.
"I love you." She whispers as he mumbled "I love you too."
Her body stiffen as he open her eyes and gave her a warm smile. "Morning sleepy."
Ichigo was so selfless, she loved that about him.
A smile came onto her face as she cuddled in his chest.
She was blessed one way or another.
(Author note: I'm sorry I've been gone for so long, I originally wanted this story out in the middle of august and now it's almost the end of October ;-; Forgive me, as you can see I am a struggling college student but I love writing for bleach because it holds a special place in my heart. How did everyone like the new episodes out?)