"hello? sung!" rang a voice from the other end.
"yes, seungmin?" jisung lazily replied.
"well you know about the amusement park we were supposed to go to?"
"uhh, yeah? what about it?"
"well, apparently, next week there will be a firework display, so we decided to move the date. and i was told to ask if you guys are okay with that..?"
"is that all? that's fine with me. what day though?" he asked.
"thursday."
"oh, okay. see you then."
"wait, before you hang up, are you okay? you sound gloomy." seungmin questioned.
"i'm fine, seungmin."
"you sure?"
"yeah.."
"no, you are not. hold on i'll go to your unit, i know it's your day off so don't even make excuses." the older strictly said.
"but i am fi-" a beep sound was heard before he finished his sentence.
jisung sighed, ducking under his grey covers.
let's have a little rewind to last night when dinner happened, shall we?
the three males were walking at the side walk looking for places to eat at, but as they were walking, minho saw the restaurant he would frequently eat at back in high school with his siblings.
"sung, look!" he called out to the boy who was having a nice chat with jaemin. jisung looked behind him and saw minho turn his head across the street, so he followed his gaze and saw the restaurant minho would take him to multiple times.
back when they dated, minho took jisung to this specific restaurant and told jisung he was the first one he brought there.
their favorite restaurant.
"jaemin do you want to try the food there? it's my favorite restaurant back in high school." he asked his boyfriend.
"sure, min!" he agreed.
"what about you, j-" he switched his vision to jisung, who he saw was staring at the restaurant with an unreadable expression. he suddenly remembered and mentally slapped himself.
"uhm, you know what- let's go there some other time-"
"why?" jisung spoke, interrupting him.
"huh?"
jisung chuckled, "you said it's your favorite restaurant right? come on, i'm starving." he said in an enthusiastic way.
"i- alright then.." he walked with jaemin but slowed down a little to get beside jisung in the back.
he looked at the expressionless squirrel boy that looked staright ahead, as if he was almost lost in thought. hesitantly, he tugged at the younger's sleeve, catching his attention.
he leaned down to his ear and whispered, "sung, are you okay?"
"hm? yeah, why?" the younger asked back with a subtle smile.
"well... this place-"
"what about it? it's just a restaurant." minho swallowed thickly, feeling something tug his heart.
just a restaurant..? wasn't this our favorite one?
"minho, i know what you're thinking, it's all in the past now. i'll be fine, i promise." jisung assured him and gently patted his back, ushering him to walk by jaemin instead of him.
he doesn't want jaemin to think something's going on, so he chose to walk behind. minho nodded once, looking at him again before going beside his boyfriend.
before entering, jisung took a deep breath and fixed his composure. the three walked to a vacnt table beside the window, a waiter approached them and gave them menus. jaemin put the menu in front of him and told minho he'll have what he'll order since he didn't know what to choose.
jisung didn't bother looking at the menu, he still knows the name of his favorite dish here, so he just waited for the waiter to come.
as the waiter came to their table to write down their order, minho was the first one to order.
"i'll have two of these, and one in the specials, italian style carbonara with shrimp, that's your favorite, right?" he turned to jisung.
of course, jisung was surprised, he glanced at jaemin who looked at the two of them. he coughed, "y-yeah.." he nervously laughed, "you still remember?"
"well, yeah, you loved their carbonara here." minho chuckled, jisung only looked down and drank his water to calm him down somehow.
jaemin started a converstation with minho, while jisung still had his head down, fiddling with the fur of the bunny hat he won himself. whenever he would look up from the hat in his lap, he would try to avoid looking at the two of them.
when the food came, they all ate, minho and jaemin still conversing while jisung only ate silently. looking out of the window and being mesmerized from the city lights outside.
but if only he didn't take his eyes off the view, so he wouldn't have to see how the couple in front of him would feed each other as if he wasn't there.
cute.
really, he feels like he only tagged along to in the end, get hurt all over again. he remembered how they were like that once.
losing his appetite, he wanted to flee out of here to give them their moment. so he opened his phone and went to the call settings. he randomly tapped a ringtone and let his phone sound it.
"excuse me, i'll just take this." he pretended.
"sure, take your time." jaemin told him, minho only watched him go.
he went straight to the bathroom and waited a few moments before going back out and to their table.
"i'll head out first, something came up." he said.
"huh? but you haven't finished eating yet." minho told him.
"i'll be fine, thank you for today. enjoy you two." he said and bowed his head, not sparing them a single glance before going to the counter and paying for his unfinished meal.
and back to the present..
jisung looked at his phone after seungmin called. a notification that was sent last night, it was from minho, he asked if everything was fine. he wanted to reply back but he couldn't bring himself to.
then, three knocks were heard before the door to his room opened.
"jisung?"
"come in." he said groggily, then sighed, looking at seungmin who stood in the doorway, with worried eyes.
"did something happen? seungmin slowly approached him, sitting down at the edge of the bed, not taking his eyes off his friend who had his back facing him.
there was no point in denying anything, so he nodded.
"wanna talk about it?" seungmin softly asked, then silence dominated for a moment before jisung spoke up.
"seungmin, i don't know anymore.. ever since me and minho made up, everything has been so.." he sighed, "confusing... much more confusing than before."
"i thought i've gotten enough closure that time we agreed to be friends again, but why am i getting so confused over nothing?"
"can you elaborate the type of confusion you're dealing with?" seungmin interrogated.
jisung didn't know if he should say it, he knew that it was about his feelings that still lingered for minho.
even after so much denial, he couldn't help but get pulled back to what they had in the past before.
he wanted those memories back, to recreate them, to have the older back on his side, not as a friend, but as someone who he can call his.
he didn't want to disappoint his friends by letting them know that he still likes him, they helped him through so much, and if he still likes the older, it would seem like his friends wasted their time on comforting him for so long if he's still not over what they had.
after every single time he denied his heart's desire to be with minho, jisung accepted the fact that it was still minho who he longed for.
"...."
"you okay there?" seungmin lightly placed his palm on jisung's arm, feeling jisung tremble and hearing his emit soft whimpers, seungmin panicked.
"woah, sung, why are you crying?" he rushed to the other side of the bed and met eyes with the other, his expression soft and displaying worry.
"seung, i'm sorry," he sobbed, "i'm so sorry-"
"hannie, why are you apologizing?"
"i'm too stubborn, i didn't listen to any of you when you guys were helping me through my post-breakup. i should've listened, i'm sorry, i'm so sorry.." he kept apologizing.
"that's alright, ji, it's you who makes your own choice, if you want to listen, go. if you don't want to, that's fine. we can't force you to move on, if something is holding you back, then how are we supposed to fight that? you are the only one who could do that, we're just here to guide you through it." seungmin comforted, "if you want to tell me the whole story, i'll be all ears."
jisung sniffed, moving his legs to let seungmin sit on the bed comfortably. it took jisung a while to calm down before telling him everything, from the beginning where they both made up and became friends, where jisung tried to throw away and deny the feelings that kept coming back, to everything that happened between them, and to what happened last night. how minho remembered and forgot some details about the past that he had moved on from without jisung following.
jisung looked down at his hands, he was now sitting with his back on the headboard, his legs folded up, with his duvet covering his body for comfort.
seungmin looked at jisung sadly, "oh, jisung.." he let out and wrapped his arms around jisung, being extra careful with him.
"i'm sorry..."
"don't apologize, no one is at fault here. everything will be alright in time, ji. just hold on for a little longer. everything will be all alright." seungmin hugged his tight, jisung hid his face in seungmin's shoulder, small tears flowing out of them.
a/n; i don't think i did a good job here lol hahdjklaweshaf, that will be it before my writing break officially starts, again, i'm sorry for this, see you guys soon. <3