People say that there are five stages of grief.
Denial. Denial is a normal human reaction to overpowering feelings, you can't help it. You're too shocked to admit that the scene even happened, so you deny it even happened to begin with. It's a normal defense mechanism that you use to protect yourself from these feelings. It's the feeling when your heart drops to your stomach and your vision gets blurry. Too many thoughts are in your head, that you can't process, or don't want to. Usually, it consists of, "This can't be happening."
Anger. After you see that it has happened, you're angry. All of the effects of denial wash off, and you're left with a heavy layer of anger. All you can see is red, needing to deflect your anger on someone. Even if it wasn't that person's fault, you think, they were there, they could've done something to help. You may be angry with yourself even. You feel the need to blame someone for the situation. The pain and the loss take place in your head and heart, wanting to be let out. A lot of yelling occurs at this stage. Usually, it consists of, "This is your fault."
Bargaining. This begins the 'what if...' stage. You can't help but think that if you did one thing differently, everything else would be different. You think back to all of your choices, wishing you had chosen differently. The heartbreak and blaming yourself. Many times, it can give you hope, saying that there could be a way to save them, right? It gives you time to fully adjust to everything that has happened. Most tears happen, thinking about all of the things you could've done differently. You try to postpone your sadness, thinking about the things you have done together. Usually, it consists of, "What if..." And, "If only..."
Depression. This is when reality starts to settle in, all of the feelings you felt before, are starting to leave. You start to feel more numb, wanting to escape this reality. You want everything to go back to the way it was, even just ten seconds before it happened. You want to see that smile you saw right before it happened or their laugh. But you can't. They're gone and they can't come back to give you that euphoric feeling. You might feel overwhelming sadness and grief. This is when real grieving occurs, you start to mourn the loss you had. Usually, it consists of, "What's the point of living without you?" and, "I need you."
Finally, acceptance. You accept the loss that occurred. Also accepting that loss will happen over the point of life, it's inevitable. You now know that nothing can change reality, nothing can magically bring them back. Just because you accept it, doesn't mean you're now okay with it, you might suffer from PTSD. Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. You emotionally might have come to terms with the loss, but mentally, you'll never get over it. Which means the guilt you had from the situation disperses. Usually, it consists of, "I will be okay after this."
Celia had never gone through these stages until she saw Stella lying beside her on the ground. "You okay?" She asked.
Stella closed her mouth, trying to hold in all of the pain. "Yeah, I'm good," she muttered.
"Okay!" Celia pushed her foot out to push the gun toward her. She grabbed it and hid behind the building. She went out a little and shot the men, she killed all of them before turning back to Stella. "Let's go, we're good!" Stella didn't reply. Celia now noticed Stella's eyes fluttering.
Denial.
"Stella? Stella? What-" The girl glimpsed down, seeing the blood pouring out of Stella's side. "Hey..." Stella's head started to fall, so Celia caught it in her hands. "Stella! Stella! Stella, no! You're okay, right?!" The girl sobbed over Stella's limp body. "This isn't happening!" She begged, placing her hand over the wound. Tears dripped down from her eyes.
Anger.
"Stella! Wake up, now!" She cried. She had never felt pain like this before. "STELLA! Wake up!" She bellowed angrily. One of her tears rolled off of her face, dripping onto Stella's shirt. "NO!" Celia's hand moved to her face. More gunshots rang out as they were still being fired at. "Stop, STOP!" She screamed. They killed her.
Bargaining.
If only she didn't choose to go first. What if she hadn't? Would Celia be the one on the ground, or would they both be alive? This was Celia's thought process and she held onto her mother. Her real mother, who was dead in her arms. She sobbed, crushing Stella's body to herself.
Depression.
"I need you," she laid Stella's head on the concrete. "I love you," she uttered. The tears weren't flowing now, more or less, she felt numb. She felt angry and numb, depressed. "I love you, mother." She caressed the side of her face. Saying mother felt weird to Celia. That all of this time, the woman she called mother, wasn't real.
Acceptance.
Celia needed to leave if she wanted to survive. Stella was at peace. She nodded before scrambling up and grabbing the gun. She went to shoot but someone else shot the men before she could. She looked through all of the dust that was flying in the air. Then, she saw him. Kai. He rushed over to her, seeing Stella on the ground.
And just like that, Cecelia Simone Parker went through all five stages of grief, in under one minute. But she felt incomplete like there was something still missing.
Kai ran up to her as she stood, frozen. He hugged her. His arms wrapped around her waist, knowing she needed comfort. Hesitantly, she hugged him back, her arms around his neck. "Nothing will happen to you, I promise," he muttered into her neck. She smiled before breaking the contact.
"We have to go," she told him, before running off in the other direction. Her arm still hurt, but she couldn't feel it. She was too caught up in the moment, in the adrenaline. Kai followed her as she led them to where Stella said Tris would be. She opened the door for them both, then leaned on it. She closed her eyes but opened them right away when she got a flashback to Stella. She sobbed, feeling Kai's hand on her shoulder. She got off, wiping her tears, knowing that they had people to save. She needed to save Four. She got to the basement and wandered around. Kai wanted to go in front of her but he knew she could handle herself. She rounded one of the corners, stopping when she saw people crouched down. She instantly recognized one of them, and so did they.
Tris ran toward Celia, hugging her. "Thank God, you're alive," Celia winced at her words and the fact she was pressing Celia's wound. Once Tris let go, everyone else came out of the dark. Including, Marcus Eaton and Jacob, Stella's husband. Celia wasn't as close to him, but they weren't strangers.
"Stella?" He asked. Celia didn't answer, the silence answered his question. He looked down, as did Celia.
"She sacrificed herself for me," she muttered. He came over to her, knowing how close the two were. He gave her a little side hug as she sniffled.
"She died a hero," he whispered before leaving the girl's side.
"We need to leave here," her attention was brought to Marcus, the 'father' who abused Tobias. "Are there any soldiers outside?" Celia scowled, looking him up and down, glaring at him.
"No, it's clear," she muttered before walking to Amara.
"I should have believed you. I left as soon as I realized. Why is this happening? I don't understand. Why is Dauntless fighting for Erudite?" She questioned.
"They don't know what they're doing. They're under a simulation that the Dauntless and Erudite leaders put them in. God damn, I trusted one of them too. We need to wake 'em up, I need to get into dauntless," she informed them.
"That's a fortress. It'll never happen," Marcus commented. Celia looked at him before turning to Kai, smiling.
"We can get in there," he smirked, knowing exactly what she wanted to do. They rushed out, knowing that they were in the clear. They grabbed guns off of dead guards, giving one to most people. Before they all got onto the train. Celia hugged Kai the whole time, heartbroken about everything that happened in the past 12 hours.
"Get ready," she told them.
"Why, what now?" Tris' dad asked.
"You're not gonna like it," she answered. She opened the door, before jumping out, leaving everyone but Tris and Kai, stunned.
People say that there are five stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Celia liked to add one more.
Revenge.