He was sleeping. I wasn't. I couldn't sleep. I didn't want to sleep. I just layed there next to him in bed, watching him as the heavy breaths of sleep made his chest rise and fall. I couldn't help but smile to myself as my mind wandered to what had happened just a few hours earlier and in a split second I could feel my cheeks get warmer and a throbbing sensation originating from the pit of my stomach started to flow through my body. I had to take a deep breath to try to clear my mind but it didn't help much. My mind continued to send me flashing images. The expression on his face as he moved inside of me, how his hands had traveled up and down my body, the sounds that escaped him. The throbbing sensation became stronger and I was tempted to reach out a hand to caress him, to make him wake up. Just a gentle touch, like a feather tickling him. I wanted to see him smile at me again, but he looked so calm as he laid there. His breathing was so steady and strong and just thinking about how hectic his life was and how little time he had to rest. I just couldn't do it. Instead, I endulged myself in the torture that was watching him. Look but don't touch. I let out a giggle at the memory of him teasing me. I had it coming considering that I had teased him even worse before that. The giggle died and I placed a light kiss on his cheek as I reached over him to grab my phone. I had no idea what time it was as I had been completely lost in the world of devouring Christopher but my mouth fell open when I realized that almost the entire day was gone. I also realized that I had a double digit number of missed calls from Veronica and at least the same number of texts. I didn't bother to read them as I wasn't sure on what to reply to her questions or sassy statements. Instead I decided to wake Christopher up to let him know what time it was. I wasn't sure what he would say once he found out that the time was almost 5pm but I would have felt bad if I didn't tell him.
I scrolled through the playlist to find the perfect wakeup song and when I found it I turned up the volume high enough to wake him up but not scare him.
"Hey, hey, hey, hey... Oooh-oooh-hooo.. woah", I started to sing as I stood up in bed, covered by Christophers black shirt from the evening before.
Christopher moved slightly but didn't seem to wake up. "Won't you come see about me...I'll be alone. dancing, you know it baby", I continued as the song progressed.
"You're not alone", I could hear him mumble, still with his eyes closed.
"Love is strange, surreal in the dark...."
"Love is great", he objected, still with his eyes closed.
"When the light gets into your heart baby... Don't you forget about me...", I sang and lost track as Christopher sat up, grabbed me by the waist and pulled me into his arms.
"I will never forget about you...", he said as he placed a kiss on my cheeks. "And why are you wearing my shirt?"
I didn't reply, instead I continued to sing.
"Will you stand above me... look my way, never love me..."
"Oh, I don't love you?"
"Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling down.. down, down, down..."
"It's raining?", he asked with a smile.
"Will you recognize me, call my name or walk on by..."
Christopher started to laugh and released me from his grip.
"Well Amelia, if you wanna sing, then sing. The stage is yours..."
I let out a squeal and jumped out of bed to stand by the dresser where I continued to sing along with the song at the same time as I tried to perform some kind of dance. Christopher was watching me with a wide smile on his face, his eyes following every little movement I made.
"Laaaaalalala lalala lalalalalalalalaaaaa", I sang as I jumped up and down with my arms in the air and as the song faded I did a spin before I fell on my back in bed.
Christopher was now laugning out loud as he hovered above me.
"Wow! That was a performance unlike anything I've ever seen before!", he smiled and I started to laugh as well.
"Well, as you might have realized this isn't what I'm good at..."
"I know pretty well what you are good at", he interrupted, causing me to blush.
"Stop it!"
"You're not a bad dancer but you need to work on your singing"
"You say?"
"I say!", he said and placed a kiss on my lips. "What song is this by the way?"
I turned my head to face the speaker. The next song on my playlist was playing and it was already halfway through. I took my phone to play it from the start.
"It's a cover.. the song is named Already Gone and it's written and performed by Kelly Clarkson but this cover is by Sleeping At Last...", I explained. "You know the drill. Lie down.."
"And close my eyes?", he asked with a smile and I nodded.
"Let's listen together", I suggested and shifted so I was laying next to him.
Both of us closed our eyes but his hand soon found mine and he gave it a gentle squeeze.
Soon, the song faded and I opened my eyes only to find Christopher looking at me.
"That hit me really hard", he said. "Like.. really hard..."
I nodded.
"It does that to you"
"Why.. "
"I'm not depressed", I interrupted.
"What?", Christopher asked with a surprised look on his face.
"Weren't you going to ask me why I listen to music like this?"
"Yes, but I don't think you're depressed.."
"I use it when I write. Emotions.. music makes me emotional, it enhances what I am feeling so depending on what I write I listen to different kinds of music.."
"But this specific song?"
"This specific song? I don't know.. it makes me feel sad but at the same time it is so full of love. Love equals heartbreak so many times and sometimes it doesn't matter how much you love somebody, you just have to let them go.."
"Please don't say that..", he said in a low voice, making me turn to face him.
He looked so sad that I had to reach out a hand and touch his cheek. He grabbed my hand and pulled it towards his lips. I gave him a thin smile. I knew what he meant. Even though we had agreed to try to stay in eachothers lives, neither one of us could guarantee anything. None of us could make promises and we didn't know what would happen down the road.
"You know I listened to this song before we met?", I said as I tried to give him a brighter smile.
"I know..."
"So please don't read anything into it..."
"I can try..."
I let out a sigh. I wanted to reassure him, but I couldn't, in the same way that he couldn't reassure me.
"It's going to be ok...", was all I could say. "Whatever happens, it's going to be ok..."
Christopher gave me a tiny nod.
"I know...", he whispered, making me smile.
"Are you agreeing with everything I say again?"
"Yes.."
"Really.. I'm so glad. What should I say this..."
"Amelia?", he interrupted me.
"Yes?"
"I love you.."
"What?"
"I don't want to have any regrets. I don't care if it is too early but it's the way I feel and I have to say it. Not just indicate it, but like really say it.. Fuck! I love you.. I fucking lo...."
"Christopher?", I interrupted him this time. "I love you too. I fucking love you too!"
He didn't reply. Instead he just pulled me in and pressed his lips against mine. It was anything but a soft kiss, it was a kiss full of desperation, almost painful. I could sense all the emotions that were flowing through him at that second, and I could only because I shared them.