Five days to last a lifetime

HIM - Chapter 7

Another fan signing and this time just a few hours before the concert itself. Usually it was the day before but it was decided short term to host one in New York on the day of the concert. The tickets sold out within minutes. I usually love fan signings, getting to meet STAY's, understanding what they like about us and where we might need to improve. We get to meet STAY's of all nationalities, ages and genders and they have one thing in common. Us.

I woke up not feeling great. I had a bad night sleep, or rather almost no sleep. I fell asleep around 4am just to wake up at 7 to get ready for a photoshoot followed by that fan signing. With only three hours of sleep in my body and a long day ahead I couldn't help feeling worn out.

I decided not to join the members for breakfast. Usually, on the morning of a gig, we had breakfast together to discuss the upcoming show and help calm each other's nerves, but I texted Felix saying that I needed to recharge by myself. I knew he would understand. He always understood me no matter what I had going on in my mind. When I was in doubt, nervous, tired or just had one of those days when I was better off left alone. He never complained or questioned, and he didn't this time either. He just texted me back that he would let the guys know and that we would meet up in the car.

All I felt was relief as I jumped into the shower, putting it on cold. Everything would be ok. A long shower, some food and then I would be ready to go.

Once I was cold to my bones I put it on hot, steaming hot. Then back to cold. My nerves were in shock but at least it woke me up. Half an hour later I was done and made my way to the lobby, carefully avoiding any groups of people. Usually when staying at high end hotels we had to enter and leave through seperate entrances to avoid fans and journalists, but this time managment had been able to keep our hotel a secret, at least for the time being. Eventually it would leak and the lobby would be as crowded as the airport.

As I made my way through the lobby I met up with Han and Lee. They were standing by the reception desk arguing about how many pillows they needed.

"At least three", Lee stated to the lady managing the reception. "One under the head, one to have between the knees and one to hug", he smiled.
The lady nodded and said that she would arrange for more pillows.
"Three? You need one Lee", Han argued. "One to place your head on. Why do you need one between your knees?"
Lee sighed.
"To keep me from tipping over, besides, haven't you read that pregnant women should have a pillow between their legs to prevent back pain?"
"You're pregnant?", Han laughed and was punched on the arm by Lee.
"Morning", I said as I stood beside them, interrupting their conversation.
"Uuuuuh, the king has arrived!", said Lee with a smirk.
"The car is here", Han said, not knowing that he just saved Lee from a scolding. "Let's get going".

The car ride was rather quiet except for Seungmin who was doing a VLive. The rest just listened in, trying to get rid of the jet lag that was still lurking, me included. I tried to close my eyes to get some additional rest but I was restless and a little bit stressed over the busy schedule we had for the day.

Luckily the photoshoot was over within a couple of hours leaving us with an hour for a quick lunch before the fan signing event started. I kept quiet during lunch trying to find additional energy, earning me a worried look from Felix. I could see from the expression on his face that he was concerned but I just shook my head and gave him a narrow smile. He nodded in response and I knew he wanted to talk.

As we made our way back to the car I walked slowly and Felix fell into my pace.

"What's up with you today?", he asked.
"Not sure... I fell asleep way too late and woke up too early. Maybe it is the jet lag. I am just out of energy today...."
"I understand.. but there is something bothering you. Usually when you have trouble sleeping it's your brain working overtime, right?"
"I just have a weird feeling."
Felix grabbed my hand to have me stop.
"Don't let it get to you. I am sure you are just stressed out over the busy schedule we've had for the past couple of weeks. After tonight we will have five days to rest before we have our second concert here. Let's try to do something fun and stay away from social media and cameras."
I nodded.
"Yeah, it would be nice to be able to just be ourselves for a while I guess."
We started walking again and were the last ones to climb into the car.

As we drove to the venue, our manager was walking us through the event. Two hours of meeting fans before we had to go to the arena to get prepared for the concert. Luckily we just had to do a quick soundcheck as most of the settings had been done the day prior.

As we pulled up to the fan signing event I saw the crowd of fans and journalists.

"Ok, let's make the best out of this event", I said to the members as I leaned forward. "I know I've been a little bit off today, but it's all good now. Let's go!".

The members nodded and as the doors opened I put on the widest smile I could.

I never get used to the screaming of the fans. I love it, I love the support we get from them but after a hectic day my brain would be on overload because of all the noise and the number of people always following us. Despite that, I kept my smile as we made our way up the red carpet to the high double doors leading to the venue. We stopped a couple of times, smiling and doing small talk with some of the fans. Everyone was acting their best, including me. As we went through the doors, it became a little less crowded and a little less noisy. The people inside ran to our sides, trying to get our attention. I continued smiling and greeting everyone with Felix and Han by my side. A second later, Han grabbed my arm.
"Chan, look to your left", he whispered. I slowly turned my head.

As all of the people in the lobby were trying to get close to us, the space to my left was pretty much empty, except for one person slowly making her way across the empty space, her eyes focused on something else but us. Maybe that was the thing that surprised me the most. Someone being at a fan signing event, but not running towards us to get our attention. She had her eyes focused on a lounge area and she progressed with such confidence, her head held up high. Her hair was dark and falling in soft curls, framing her pale face. She was walking with such confidence and grace. Her lips were bright red, matching the red dress with white polka dots. Despite the feminine dress, revealing perfect curves, the thing that struck me the most was her eyes. Bright green, piercing. Seconds later she broke out in a smile, but not from noticing us. Her eyes were still fixed on the lounge area and I had to look at what she was looking at. In one of the couches a blond girl was sitting. She was beautiful as well, but not in the same way as the brunette. The blond girl was staring right at me and I quickly looked away. She had noticed my staring.

"Chan, get going..", one of the crew members said and carefully pushed on my back to get me to walk again.
I shrugged and hurried to catch up with the guys.
"Something caught your attention?", Felix smiled at me as I came back to his side.
"What are you talking about?", I replied.
"Hey, we know your preference", Han added, joining the conversation. "She was just down your alley. Don't tell me I was wrong."
"Oh shut up Han", I spat. "It's just a fan, nothing more."
"That was not a normal fan Chris", Felix opposed. "If she was, she would have run over just like the rest."
"Guys, stay focused!", our manager interrupted. "Chris, we need to talk..."
I nodded and followed our manager to the side as we entered the doors to the room where we were to meet the fans.
"What is it?", I asked as we stood alone in one of the corners.
"Look, I saw that you noticed someone just outside in the lobby. You know about the rules, right?"
"Oh stop it", I replied. "That was nothing. Just a fan."
"Then why did you stop and stare?" Our manager leaned in closer. "I know it's not easy to meet girls left and right, but you have to remember your responsibilities. There is a reason why you can't get involved with fans. You need to seem to be constantly available. You know this."
"What the hell!" I was starting to get annoyed. "It was nothing, ok? I know my responsibilities. She was just.."
"Right down your alley? I heard what Han said. Look, I understand. But you have to keep your cool. I expect you to be professional today, but keep your distance, ok?"
I rolled my eyes.
"No worries. I will keep my cool. Can I go now?"
As our manager let me go, I slowly walked towards the signing table. Both Han and Felix gave me a worried look.
"You ok?", Felix mimed at me as I walked past him to get to my seat and I gave him a quick nod.
I sat down and organized the printed pictures in front of me. Keep my cool? Sure, I could do that. Heck, I could do even more.