"You are relying on your wand too much." Voldemort's weakened voice reprimanded, causing a surge of anger to flourish within me. The statue in front of me remaining dormant, staring blankly at me as though I was the dullest, most insignificant being on the planet.
"Give it to me." His voice was suddenly stern, as I turned to him and placed the wand into his hands. But something in my chest cracked as I watched his spindly fingertips grasp it and snap the wand in half. The urge to vomit, scream and cry occurring simultaneously as I fought to keep all three at bay. He had severed my only magical connection. Tossing it aside as though it were a measly twig, his blood-red eyes burned into my own. "Again."
My eyes narrowed back towards the statue, my hands still at my sides as I fought with every ounce of my strength to channel any ounce of magic and make the stone rise. "Wingardium Leviosa," I muttered, barely audible to anyone else that stood in the graveyard, watching me. This was my fifth lesson now, and we were in the first week of April. I was exhausted and starting to lose faith. How could I possibly regain something that was inexplicably taken from me? The statue did not budge even a small ounce.
'Pathetic.'
"Shut up, Peter!" I snarled, turning to face the rat as he stood beside his master. Voldemort glanced at the pathetic excuse for a man, lingering for a moment before averting his gaze back onto me, once more. Suddenly, a small smirk crept across his taught lips. "What?" I scoffed, eyebrows furrowed. Voldemort and Barty Crouch appeared slightly amused, yet Peter Pettigrew looked horrified. In an instant, I knew what I had done. Reprimanding myself for feeling ungrateful; out of all the abilities I could have retrieved first.
The Dark Wizard nodded in confirmation, words of admiration projecting from him, yet his lips did not part for a single syllable, 'Very good, my dear. Very good, indeed.'
"Miss Potter?"
I gasped, my eyes shooting open to find myself in the Potion's classroom, Severus Snape hovering over me with anger and laced concern in his dark eyes, which I avoided so desperately.
'Let me help you, please.'
His words made my heart ache for a split second, but I couldn't let him know of my newly-rekindled legilimency without giving away the source from which I retrieved it. He was far more skilled than I with occlumency, therefore he would figure it all out in a heartbeat.
"What colour should a correctly brewed calming draught be?"
I felt his stare burning into the top of my head as I tried to calm my breathing. He could be looking into my mind right now, in which case everything would be exposed and lives would be in danger.
"Blue." I breathed, remembering reading the textbook at breakfast, trying to store as much information I could as I no longer had time to revise for classes.
"Very good," the potion's master nodded, folding his cloaked arms as he turned to face the rest of the class. "However, falling asleep in my class is something I will not condone. Five points from Slytherin and you will attend detention, with me, this afternoon." The Slytherin students in the room let out a low groan, but Draco merely sent me a sympathetic look from his seat beside me. Shrugging it off, the rest of the lesson resumed...
"See you at dinner?" Draco's voice spoke from beside me, as the rest of the students gathered their books upon Snape dismissing the class. Forcing the most convincingly reassuring smile I could muster, I nodded, "See you." And without another word, the remaining students departed. Only Severus remained, writing at his desk.
Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair and arose, making my way over to him. "What would you like me to do first, Professor?" His scribbling came to a sharp halt, yet his gaze remained fixated on the page whilst he addressed me, "We have not spoken in over a month and that is all that you wish to say?"
I scoffed, placing my hands into my uniform pockets and shaking my head in disbelief, "I don't believe this." Turning to walk away, I heard him forcefully push his chair out from under the table and begin following me.
"Emerald, please! What can I do to fix this?"
I turned on my heel, glaring daggers as I finally met his dark eyes and began closing the gap between us, "Nothing! All we ever do is lie and keep secrets from one another, Severus; and I'm tired of it! At least, this way, we stop hurting one another." I sighed in defeat, his confused, saddened and shocked gaze averting solemnly to the floor. "So that's it, then?"
Nodding, I found myself struggling to keep my own tears at bay. "That's it." Confirming both of our fears, I knelt to grasp my father's backpack and slung it over my shoulder, walking towards the door.
"No."
I suddenly stopped in my tracks, brows furrowed as I turned back to face the Potion's Master, now appearing more weaker and deflated than I had ever seen him before.
"That cannot possibly be it. What did that note you slipped under my door mean, Emerald?" His eyes were brewing tears now, each one threatening to fall at any given moment. I was angry now. Perhaps furious with him, that he could have possibly been so oblivious to everything that was going on. But I couldn't bring myself to hate him, no matter what. He could have told me anything and I would have forgiven him. He just wasn't there to save me that day, as he had been countless times before when I needed him.
"How can you be so damn blind, Severus!?" I cried out, my entire body beginning to tremble as the tears gave way like a river to a damn and streamed down my cheeks. In my outburst, a purple potion bottle flung itself from my desk, across the classroom and exploded upon impact with the wall. I gasped, as did the man standing opposite me, as we both stared wide-eyed at where the bottle had hit. It seemed the legillimency must have triggered some other abilities, driven entirely by my emotions, rather than a spell conjured. Almost as they had throughout my childhood...
"Did you-" Severus' voice spoke in disbelief, his eyes wavering as they finally drifted to meet my gaze.
I forced away a sob, wiping my cheeks quickly to rid myself of any lingering tears. Sniffling, I tried to recompose myself. "Do you remember why you never told me you was a Deatheater?"
The man was confused as to why I would suddenly ask such a question. This was my chance to tell him. My only chance, if 'Moody' was not already waiting outside the classroom door. Severus answered, nonetheless, "I was afraid you would see me differently. That, you knowing such a thing would put you in danger, if the Dark Lord ever returned."
I nodded, fearful that he would think the same of me, if I ever told him the truth. Suddenly, I found myself backing out of the idea as quickly as it had crossed my mind. I turned to leave once more, his voice preventing me from doing so, once again. "Everything I have done, I've done to protect you."
My hand hovered over the doorknob, finally grasping it as I heaved a deep breath in attempt to steady my voice. I didn't want him to know how much his words were breaking me. Every ounce of guilt I had felt in the passing month surfacing at once. But all I could muster without giving away my mind slowly cracking was, "I know."
What I wished to say, more than anything in the entire world, was....'It didn't make any difference, Severus.'