HOLDEN KINCAIDE
PRESENT TIME
The front door opened and I was immediately blessed with a gorgeously lazy smile. She wasn't dressed yet, little bits of curly hair sticking out around her face, the inside of her apartment completely dark.
"If you're trying to turn me into a morning person it's not going to work" She stated opening the door wider before turning around and walking back into the darkness that was her home. I stepped into the pitch black, closing the door behind me, not moving to make an immediate step as I could not see a damn thing and feared crashing into something and possibly breaking it.
"And yet you greeted me with a smile" I stated, pulling my phone out from my pocket and hitting the torch, the dark apartment immediately becoming illuminated. I turned to the door, finding the light switch and hitting it, actually able to see now. I turned my torch off, turning back around in time to see Scarlett walking out of the hallway, making her way into the kitchen as she pulled her shirt down over her bra covered breasts. I gulped, heading into the kitchen before leaning on the counter, watching her grab a bowl, a box of cereal and milk out of the fridge. She paused, glancing at me over her shoulder as she held up her empty bowl.
"You want one?" She asked. I shook my head no, her nodding as she turned back to fill her bowl.
"Hey, so, I was thinking-"
"That's dangerous" I but in, earning a glare before she went back to her bowl.
"You've been my personal chauffer, picking me up before heading into the bureau, taking me home-"
"Get to the point, Scarlett" I told her, a tiny smirk on my face, arms crossed over my chest as she turned around, bowl full of cereal and milk.
"Do you want to drive me to a friends house later today?" I stared at her blankly. Her face held the largest smile I've seen from her in a while. It was a worried smile, her face slightly reserved as she expected an immediate no.
"Not particularly" I stated, Scarlett's smile instantly falling as she sighed. "What time?".
Scarlett looked up, her face being lit up again with her gorgeous smile. "5:30".
"Who is this friend?" I asked, hoping she didn't hear the accusing 'is it a guy?' tone behind the question. Scarlett shrugged.
"Martha Callaway. She was a guard at the Penitentiary. Her family used to come in and visit me all the time. They became a second family to me" I frowned, crossing my arms over my chest as I watched her eat.
"I thought you weren't allowed visitors" I brought up. That was an actual part of her sentence given by the judge. No visitors allowed, not even family.
"Technically, on paper, they were there to visit Martha. She just so happened to be guarding me when they rocked up" Her mouth held the tiniest of smirks as she stared into her bowl of cereal.
"Sneaky" I stated, Scarlett grinning as she looked up at me through her eyelashes.
"Very sneaky" She agreed, my eyes instantly drawn to her index finger as she wiped milk away from the corner of her mouth before she slid her finger between her lips, sucking it off. My chest heaved up and down, heart thudding against my chest as I struggled to compose myself around her. I couldn't stop staring at her mouth. As much as I wanted to look away I couldn't, I really fucking couldn't. There was no doubt she'd seen my staring, or heard my heavy breathing, no doubt in the slightest when I looked away from her mouth, taking in her eyes and the way they were set directly on me.
She'd seen it all. She'd seen my eyes concentrated on her mouth. She'd seen my chest heave and heard my raggedy intakes of air. She'd seen the way something as simple as sucking on her finger had done to me, and yet as we stood staring at each other she didn't move to tease me. Instead her large eyes just stared at me, the silence of the apartment so fucking loud I thought my ear drums would burst.
"Holden..." I moaned internally at the innocence behind her calling my name. My whole body tensed, freezing as she placed her bowl on the table, taking a step towards me. 5 years ago, 18 year old me would've struggled to breathe if Scarlett looked at me and walked towards me the way she was now. 23 year old me? I wasn't struggling to breathe, I couldn't breathe full fucking stop.
"Hmm?" I hummed, watching Scarlett as she stopped in front of me, her eyebrows slightly furrowed as she tilted her head back, staring up at me. I kept my arms crossed tightly over my chest, knowing if I didn't I'd impulsively reach for her. She took another step forward, reaching out to graze my arm. My skin burned under her touch, my eyes solely focused on her face and not what she was touching. Her eyes fell from mine, latching onto where her hand was on my arm.
A wide, bright, and gorgeous Scarlett smile spread across her face, an almost emotional laugh passing by her lips as she ran her index finger over freshly tender skin. I now knew what she was doing. What she was touching. What she'd seen. Something I did because of her...like 80% of the other images on my body.
"You really liked the caterpillar story this much, huh?" Scarlett laughed, looking back up at me, her hand remaining on my arm. She didn't make a move to take it off, and I certainly didn't want it off. I wanted her skin on mine for the rest of my life. I glanced at the caterpillar tattoo I'd gotten yesterday, my skin still red and inflamed around the new image.
"How could I not? It came from you" Scarlett raised an eyebrow, her smile still present as she tilted her head slightly, staring up at me.
"Actually, it came from my brother" I bent my head slightly, Scarlett glancing at my lips quickly as our faces neared each other.
"You just can't take a compliment, can you Ms Valentine?" I asked, my own eyes falling to the lips I'd been waiting to kiss since I was 13 years old. I'd give the world up to feel her lips against mine even just once. I was too busy focused on her mouth to see where her own eyes were, but something was telling me they weren't on my eyes either.
"From you? Certainly not" I took the slightest step forward, Scarlett's hand tightening on my arm as our bodies met. Our mutual body heat rebounded off each other, my whole being feeling like it was on fire.
"Maybe I should say them more often" I dipped my head, the both of us glancing at each others eyes before back down to each others lips.
"Please...you're the only one who's never been light on the compliments, even when we were younger. You can take a break from them, I won't be hurt" Scarlett whispered, her breath hitching when my nose brushed against hers. Her hand remained on my arm, even when it dropped to my side, it tightening the moment my hand met her jaw. My heart raced in my chest, my body slightly shaking due to the nerves I tried so fucking hard to push down.
My virgin ass was seconds away from kissing the only girl I've ever wanted to kiss.
"I don't want to" The second my lips brushed hers I felt like I'd been electrocuted and then in an instant my near heaven experience was ripped from my grasp. I wanted to protest when Scarlett jumped at the sudden banging at the door. I wanted to scream when her hand fell from my arm. I wanted to cry like a big fucking baby when her jaw was no longer resting in the palm of my hand. My near heaven experience was taken from me and I couldn't be 100% sure that when that damn fucking door was opened I would pull the gun out from my pocket and shoot death in the fucking face.
Scarlett opened the door and there stood her sleepy roommate that was only just now coming home from a big night out. She was practically asleep, a bullet to the face would be a fast, painless death. I'd be doing the girl a favour. Scarlett raised her eyebrows as she looked her friend up and down.
"Did you try to drown yourself on the way back?" Scarlett asked, her voice snappy, her leg bouncing as she stared at her soaking wet friend. Scarlett looked pissed. Was she also pissed we'd been interrupted?
"I had shower sex" Her friend grinned widely, eyes closed as she stumbled through the doorway. Scarlett closed the door, glancing my way at super speed before walking behind her friend down the hall, her hands up just in case she had to catch the drunk, wet girl.
"Fully clothed?" Scarlett's voice got quieter the further they went down the hallway and then into the roommates room.
"Don't hate it till you try it" A couple minutes later the apartment was silent except for the quiet footsteps heading back up the hallway. When Scarlett emerged she looked at me, pointed behind her, sighed, and rolled her eyes as she shook her head.
"I certainly haven't missed taking care of drunk friends" She stated, heading over to the door to grab her shoes. She sat on the couch pulling them onto her feet. I wanted to go into her roommates bedroom, and suffocate her with a pillow for ruining the mood that this apartment was enveloped in before she turned up. I pulled my phone out, glancing at the time. I headed towards the apartment door, opening it and standing against it as I waited for Scarlett in silence.
Until something popped into my head.
"Hey so um..." She looked up at me from the couch. "Eros has got a party thing this Saturday... sort of like a celebration for his last race-" Scarlett cut me off with a big smile.
"That he won. I know, I watched. I'm so fucking proud of him" She smiled so widely as she looked back down to her shoes, working the laces. He'd like hearing that she watched his race.
"Well did you wanna come? I know the guys miss seeing you" Scarlett's mouth pulled into a smirk.
"So the guys are technically asking me to come? You're not?" Scarlett asked, sitting back up straight and staring at me from across the room. I swear she could see me sweating under my suit.
"Do you...want me to ask you?" Scarlett stood up, grabbing her keys and phone from the little table next to the door. She stopped in front of me, standing on her tippy toes, her face not close enough for my liking.
"Do you want me to want you to ask me?" She left me with before she headed out the door, leaving me in her apartment as she headed down the corridor towards the elevator. The elevator dinged, snapping me out of my frozen trance. I shut the door and jogged down the hallway, grabbing the shutting elevator door, Scarlett's eyebrows raising in surprise as she stared at my hand gripping the elevator door before looking at my face. I gave the door a push, both doors automatically reopening allowing me to walk in. I kept my stare on Scarlett, my lips slightly parted as I took a step in, letting the doors shut behind me.
We were alone together again and the air was already becoming as tense as it was back in the apartment as we both refused to look away. It was rather not being physically able to rather then refusal.
"Why do you keep looking at me like that?" Scarlett mumbled, her chest visibly heaving.
"Like what?"
"Like you want to say or do something" I took a step towards her, having been fed up with being interrupted when I'm finally going to act on my feelings. Just before and pretty much anytime we hung out back in High School.
"You're a smart girl, Scarlett. Take a wild guess" I said, the both of us staring at each other in silence until the elevator came to a stop and the doors dinged. I was the first one to exit the elevator and it wasn't until I was already 10 meters away and looking behind me that I saw Scarlett now exiting the elevator.
SCARLETT VALENTINE
I really wanted to kiss him. I really wanted him to kiss me. I still really want him to kiss me. Today has been the least productive I have ever been. Even in prison I was more productive then me right now.
Stupid fucking Holden and his gorgeous body.
Stupid fucking Holden and his pale eyes.
Stupid fucking Holden and his perfect smile.
Stupid fucking Holden and the ability he has to make me weak in the knees and in the chest.
Stupid fucking Holden for bringing back these feelings from when I was 17.
I've been alone with him, in this room pretty much all day now and all I've been thinking about is the way his lips grazed mine before Quita had to annoyingly interrupt us. I wanted to strangle her with my bare fucking hands.
"No shirt feels way better" My eyes instantly snapped up from the page I was staring at to Holden who was already looking at me, grinning... with a shirt on. That little liar.
"There she is. How you going, my little valentine?" I'm going to fucking combust. The grin on his face is because he'd tricked me with the shirt thing, meaning he had absolutely oblivious effect he had on me when he called me that.
"Scar?" He frowned when I didn't answer him. I cleared my throat, looking back down.
"It's hopeless. There's nothing" I dropped the folder with a thud, staring at it, refusing to look up when the chair rolled against the ground across the table, refusing to glance at him as he walked around the table, and refusing to breathe when his chest met my back, his hands resting on the table either side of me, caging me between his body and the desk. His chin grazed my shoulder as he looked down at the folder, reading the page I'd last been looking at.
"This is a tricky one. I'm sorry" Holden pressed a kiss to my shoulder, giving my arm a squeeze of comfort. We're never going to find anything about the house fire. We're never gonna find the bastard that killed them. I'm never going to get closure.
"You know..." I began quietly, feeling Holden's eyes immediately latch onto the side of my face. "I still haven't cried over it".
"No?"
"Nope. I guess it's cause apart of me still thinks they're all alive. I haven't gone back to see the house and the damage from the fire. I wasn't at the funeral so I never saw coffins for each of them. I know they're dead...but it's just easier pretending they're not" Holden's hands left the table and immediately his arms circled around me from behind, bringing me into a tight, warm embrace against his chest. I held onto his arms that went over my collarbones, resting my cheek on his warm skin as we both just sat and stood in silence. Holden didn't need to say sorry, I could feel it in the way his arms kept tightening around me every time they slightly loosened. I could feel it in the way he place non sexual kisses against my shoulder. I was too stuck into my own head to pay attention to how close we would've looked to anybody if they just barged through the closed door. Physically and Emotionally.
In High School Holden had managed to squeeze his way into my heart. He was my safe place. And right now, at this point in time, he'd managed to do it again. He'd managed to become my safe place. A safe place I never wanted to live without again. A safe place I don't think I could live without.
Could I not live without the comfort that came from the safe place?
Or could I not live without Holden?
Hope ya'll liked the chapter. If not, boo fucking hoo.
Anyways,
Nigh Nights lovie dovies x <3