I was sitting on my couch with a piece of paper attached to a clipboard, desperately writing. I still didn't understand why I hadn't had any encounters with the time paradox avoidance enforcement squadron and I was desperate to figure out why. maybe it was that thing dipper or Mabel said about the universe always making that one thing happen like when dipper threw a ball at Wendy's face leading to a sore eye and Robbie helping her?
but wait they got in trouble with time paradox avoidance enforcement squadron anyway... maybe it was because of the things scattered around the universe like the calculators? and the high-fives?
this leads to the question, if I keep this up when will the time police come after me? considering with bill they waited to the last second but with the twins they did it right away. maybe its because they couldn't get bill while he was in the mindscape? also, thinking about the fact that I have a prophecy... maybe I'm now an important addition to the plot making it harder for me to be a space time criminal because I'm right where I need to be? (speaking of prophecy, I finally got that thing off my arm)
I triumphantly stood up and threw the clipboard across the room, letting it land onto the carpet. I was about to leave the house to check up on the twins when Mabel burst through the door, carrying a few bundles of fabric.
"woah there, watcha doing-" I said as she pushed me aside and let her two friends in. "okay, rude, this is my house-"
"sorry not sorry y/n! dipper got us four invited to the northwest manor and we want to make dresses at your place!" Mabel said jumping up and down. "also dipper is taking up most of the attic with his nerdy ghost stuff."
I blinked a few times at her before responding "your lucky I have an extra room for hobbies, I have a sewing machine in there." I sighed, walking away.
"wait what about your dress?" Mabel said.
"I'm not going" I lied. "I don't want to get caught up in a party with a bunch of rich people" I said shaking my head.
"oh, I guess we'll do this back at the mystery shack since your not going, it feels wrong to not be doing it with you if we are in your house, but if you change your mind here's the invite." Mabel said sadly, handing my the invite.
"thanks, I'll think about it" I said, guiding the friend group out the door then shutting it behind them.
I wasted no time getting to work, I unrolled a large piece of dark green fabric and started cutting, I made a basic dress and nothing more than that, but sadly it was well, basic. I looked around for some other ideas then landed on Loki, sitting on the corner of the table messing with pink fabric that fell off the shelf. (like the diva he is)
it was like you could see the light bulb over my head, I added a black lace trim to the dress's bottom and torso. I then started to work on a long flowing black cape with a fluffy white trim, on the back of it was the symbol of a snake ironed onto it.
I stepped back and looked at my creation, but I needed something more... a mask. sure it was not a masquerade ball but who do I care? a guy showed up in basketball shorts, also I need to hide from the twins, because KNOWING BILL he's going to try to contact me when I become a block of wood, and if my theory is right I don't need dipper catching me do it.
I loaded up a template on my phone and printed it out, I then took layers of wire and fabric to re-create it. I added extra black lace for 'scales' and a little thing in the back to attach it to my face.
finally, I stepped back looked over the pieces for any mistakes that looked too grand (as a rushed project like this was sure to have things like weird looking stiches and messy tared fabric from slobby cutting) and after finding nothing that stood out too much I put on the outfit.
I ran out of my house and started treading up the hill to the northwest manor, as I approached the townsfolk seemed in awe and also curious of my attire. they also seemed to notice how I wasn't in a limo or some other fancy car, but walking. (symbolic isn't it?)
I showed the guy at the front gate my invitation to the party and he let me inside. I waited at the front with all the other rich folk and listened to Preston's speech at the entrance.
"welcome dukes and duchesses, sultans and sportsmen-" Preston started pointing to each person.
"yo what up Preston bro" the guy spun the basketball.
then he said something about the mayor, which I could not fully decipher, something about him being old probably.
"its okay their with me" the mayor said, waving his hand dismissively toward the vultures circling him.
"tonight we'll enjoy only the finest tastes, and only the snootiest of laughter" Preston started, some guy gave a snooty laugh "that's the ticket." Preston pointed out then let us in. I headed towards the chocolate fountain and grabbed one of those mini-treats and dipped in in the chocolate using the fondue stick. Mabel and candy noticed me immediately, (I could tell as they looked at me and started whispering) Mabel made some motions to candy then started to approach me confidently.
"woah girl! nice dress you got there!" Mabel said, trying to seem fancy and maintain her posture, only to end up making herself look like an idiot.
"why thank you darling!" I said, tweaking my voice to make it sound higher (I decided I might actually start playing the part of this new character). "you look quite stunning yourself! are you trying to impress us because its working~" I exclaimed, playing into the bit, Mabel nodded clearly not catching on.
"what's the mask for mysterious pretty lady?" Mabel asked inspecting the outfit.
"it just adds a touch of flare to the costume, like your hat there!" I said pointing out the hat on her head.
"can I see your face? please~" Mabel begged putting her hands up in a prayer-like position.
"I can't have anybody knowing my identity little one, but lean in and let me tell you something" I said whispering to her, still with my pitch higher. "one of your group of three is going to have success with that boy you seem so fascinated about~" I said whispering into her ear, her face brightened up immediately and she practically hopped on her feet.
"thanks pretty lady, I'll be off now! I got- uh- fancy people things to do!" Mabel said rapidly curtseying, then waving at me swiftly while she ran off to her small group of friends, I curtseyed back (much better, might I add) then walked off in the opposite direction.
well that was interesting to say the least.
I straighten myself up and brushed off the false identity I created for myself, then found myself wandering the manor looking for rooms that weren't shown on the screen. I eventually found myself in the slivery carpet room, I looked in then immediately walked out.
nope. too pretty.
I then wandered for a bit more before coming across a golden acoustic-electric guitar. yeah you heard me (well you didn't because this is a book), GOLDEN. FUCKING. GUITAR. these mother fuckers don't even use it I bet. I grabbed it off the wall, not caring if I damaged it, then started playing around with the strings, playing random chords then putting it back.
I left the room and started to look for anything else that seemed mildly interesting, after mild less traveling at some point in time I found it, they had a man-cave.
foosball, giant tv, ping-pong, you name it, they have it. I looked around the room spotting things like fur rugs and hunting rifles. ten bucks says some of this was extremally illegal and ten more bucks says that most of it was fake.
I kept searching around the room, (at some point in time making myself a bagel and cream cheese) its the simple things that count) eventually switching on gravity fall's sucky TV channels and I was in the middle of an add for 'grandpa the kid' when I heard a familiar booming voice.
"generations locked away, my revenge shall have its day!" the lumber ghost guy said.
dear lord.
welp, I've always wondered what its like to be a block of wood. well actually, I haven't. but at least I'll know what bill would have done as a statue! its either really boring or very entertaining. either way, I'm all up for it if bill were to be stuck there too, we can drive people insane... or not? I'm not sure how being trapped in stone/wood/anything else messes with your abilities.
the ghost went through the rooms, with blue rays spraying at every person in the room my body slowly went stiff, wood crawling up from my feet to my neck, petrifying everything in the process, I slowly became less of a person and more of a work of art. it was only a matter of time before the world went grayscale.
I fucking called it.