Summary: You and Stephen Strange have a love-hate relationship. The Cloak of Levitation often acts as your mediator.
"You're such an egotistical jackass, Strange!" I shout.
"And you're an unsupportive bitch!" He yells back.
"I'm not the one walking into rooms all saint-like, expecting people to kneel or kiss my ass! 'Hello! I'm Doctor Strange, the knock off version of Gandalf the Grey Wizard and I have a shit ton of money! Now bow down!'" I mock.
"Okay, first of all- I. am. not. a. WIZARD!!! I AM A SORCERER! AND THE SORCERER SUPREME IN FACT!" He loudly argues.
"Wow! There you go again! Boasting that you're some supreme!" I shout.
"Somebody's a bit jealous!" He scoffs.
"I am not jealous of you! Don't make me come over there, Strange! Or else!" I say in a warning tone.
But of course he had to stir shit.
"Or else what?" He asks, narrowing his eyes.
"Or else I'll knock you flat on your ass with my bare fists and not even your lousy doctor knowledge could save you!" I yell.
"I'd like to see you try!" He shouts.
"Fine!"
"Fine!" He mocks.
You storm over to him, raising your fist, when all of a sudden the cloak bursts into the room.
It fans itself out, creating a wall between the two of you.
I try to get around it but it blocks me again and again until I give up.
"Haha! Nice try!" Stephen shouts.
The cloak makes him eat his words by draping itself around the sorcerer unnecessarily tightly, choking him.
"Gghh!" Stephen grunts, trying to pull the cloak from his neck.
The cloak unlatches itself, satisfied with the man's lesson.
I quietly chuckle at him, grateful for the cloak.
"What the hell?? I thought you were on my side?!" He says to the cloak.
I'm pretty sure if the cloak had eyes it would be narrowing them at this moment and saying something along the lines of;
"I ain't nobody's bitch!"
-----
A few hours later he and I are watching TV in one of the many rooms of the Sanctum.
He gets up to go to the bathroom and now is my chance.
I reach over to his Dr. Pepper (Dr... How ironic) and pour in an unnecessary amount of a quick-acting powdered laxative.
I mix it well and make sure that it doesn't look out of the ordinary. The sweet taste of the soda will mask whatever flavor there may be from it.
He comes back a minute later and sits back down, pressing play on the movie we were watching. He grabs his drink and uncaps it, holding it up to his mouth.
I scoop up a handful of popcorn, hoping that chewing it will mask my evil smile. Wouldn't want him finding out before he finishes the bottle...
Twenty minutes later, the movie continues to play.
All of a sudden I hear this low-pitched growling and gurgling sound.
It came from his stomach.
He clears his throat and uncomfortably shifts in his seat.
I swallow roughly and bite down on my lip to hide my grin.
"You good, doc?" I ask him, keeping my gaze on the screen.
"Uh yeah.. It's just.. my stomach." He says hesitantly replies with a confused frown.
He shifts in his seat again, his stomach growling once more. He groans, holding his stomach.
"You know.. for such a smart guy.. You seem to forget to do wise things to keep yourself safe.. Such as... Not leaving drinks unattended?" I smirk, turning my head to him.
He whips his head to my direction, eyes as wide as saucers.
"What the fuck did you do to my drink?" He spits, narrowing his eyes.
"Well... Assuming you're caught up on pop-culture.. You'd know about a movie called Dumb and Dumber?..." I ask, trailing off.
He angrily flares his nostrils and nods once, waiting for me to continue.
"Wellll... Then you'd remember what Lloyd did to Harry in that one scene?" I say, grinning wickedly.
"YOU PUT A FUCKING LAXATIVE IN MY SODA?!" He yells, then groans.
I nod my head and chuckle.
"You listen here- you are sooo dea-" he begins to say, before halting his words.
Suddenly, he stands up quickly and immediately clutches his rear, half running and half waddling to the bathroom.
"... I'm listening?..." I say.
The next morning I walk into the room, curious as to what kind of wrath I am going to face today.
Turning into the kitchen, I am met with Stephen wearing his ring on two fingers.
I sigh and roll my eyes dramatically.
"What's up, buttercup?" I ask as I smile innocently.
Words can't even begin to describe how angry he looks. His face is as red as the cloak of levitation.
He begins to create glowing circles with his magic.
"C'mon. We're dealing with this. Right here. Right now." He says
"If you wanted a dance off you could've at least put on mus-"
I get cut off as he makes me float in the air, turning me upside down.
"Well this is fun." I say emotionlessly.
"You're going to stay right there while I come up with a better idea for revenge." He says, gesturing to me.
"You spent hours shitting your brains out last night, sitting on the toilet doing absolutely nothing- and you're telling me couldn't think of anything?..." I say, blowing hair out of my face.
He growls at me and leaves the room.
"Dude! If I get serious brain injury from being stuck like this, I don't want your shaky, fucked up hands to fix me!" I shout at him.
(What feels like) 8 minutes later
I genuinely have no idea as to how I haven't passed out yet. But mostly, my mind is focused on how good that pot of fresh coffee smells and how badly I need to take a piss.
A moment later, Wong walks into the kitchen and begins to pour himself a cup of coffee. He didn't even know I was here until I call out his name.
"Oh, hey Wong. Mornin'... I would ask you 'how's it hanging' but technically I'm the one who's hanging so it wouldn't make much sense to ask that." I sigh.
"What did you do to piss Strange off this time? Last night I heard grunting and the toilet being flushed at least every twenty minutes." He asks nonchalantly, as if it were a normal occurrence (which it really was).
"Oh, no biggie.. Just put a bunch of powdered laxatives in his soda last night..." I reply with a smug grin.
"Was it worth... This?" He asks as he sips his coffee, gesturing to my current status.
"Meh. I'd say so.. Not my biggest stunt but his reaction was priceless." I respond.
We just casually talk like I'm not currently floating in the air upside down.
"How long have you been up there?" He asks, setting his mug in the sink.
"Uh, well I'd say about a good fifteen minutes.."
"How the hell are you not unconscious??" He asks, looking at my red face.
"Beats me." I chuckle
"But seriously, dude- the bloods starting to rush to my head, so if you could you please-"
"Oh yeah, sure. Sorry about that, Y/n." He says, holding his hands up to reverse the spell.
The invisible binds that were keeping me strung up in the air disappear and I hit the ground with a loud thud.
"Oof.. Thanks Wong." I groan, holding my head.
He chuckles and walks out of the room.
Strange and I are fighting. It started off as play fighting until it was like something clicked in us and we started going ham on each other.
He had hurt me pretty badly and I was bleeding from the calf. He has a bruise around his eye from when I socked him with my right fist.
"Give it up, Strange!" I shout.
"Never!"
Luckily, I wasn't using my powers and he wasn't using his magic- we were just sparring. But it's still a pretty grisly scene.
I tackle him to the ground and try to land a punch at him again, when he flips me so he's on top.
"Admit I'm better and more powerful than you!" He shouts.
"Over my dead body!" I spit at him.
He groans and wipes his face which gives me the advantage of throwing him off of me.
He stands up and begins to lunge at me, getting ready to use his magic. That's when our familiar red fabric friend steps onto the plate.
The cloak has had enough of our bullshit.
Before Strange can fire a spell, it wraps itself around the sorcerer's neck, dragging him backwards, making his feet slide with a loud *squeeeaaak*
I sit on the ground, too tired to take a fighting stance. Strange doesn't let up and the cloak ends up wrapping him into a burrito, withholding him from using powers.
I laugh as Stephen tries thrashing out of the its hold.
"Asshole cloak!!!" He shouts.