This weekend we have the state championships, and the closer we get, the more pressure I seem to feel. I've had three anxiety attacks this week, but I think that has more to do with the fact that I'm heartbroken. It's been two days since the fight with Maya's father, and since she hasn't called me, I'm assuming it's because we're over. I even stayed up late on the game every night to see if by some miracle she'd go online, but it was just silence. A god-awful silence.
I didn't think it would be possible to miss someone this much. Maya and I didn't even get the chance to see how far things would go. It was destroyed in the blink of an eye. Now I'm just... here. I'm a lifeless, anxiety-bundled mess without her. There's not even Maddie to turn to since she ignored me the entire weekend too. I know I was an asshole to her about dating Cam, but I had my own shit going on, and I took it out on her. She's due an apology from me, but for now, I'm not in the right head space to give it.
Letting out a frustrated sigh, I put my duffel bag in my locker and start to change for practice. The rest of the team is chattering away about different plays we're going to try, but I'm tuning all of them out. All I want to do is sulk in my room. I don't want to be here one bit.
The door slams shut and I see Cam turn up beside me. I haven't seen him all day, but he throws his bag on the bench and unzips it roughly, tugging out his cleats and chucking them to the floor. It's not until he goes to pull his t-shirt over his head that I see his face. His eyes are completely bloodshot, and just for a second, I'm taken back to the summer of eighth grade when he showed up at my house. It makes my heart feel like it split into two.
I clear my throat and reach out my hand to grab his attention. "Are you good?" I ask, but I wish I hadn't as soon as I do.
His eyes slice into mine with nothing but fury, narrowing into tiny slits that look so sharp I fear they'll cut me. "Am I okay?" He roars, and now he's silenced the entire locker room. "No, I'm not fucking okay, Ethan. Maddie broke it off with me this weekend, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why. You're a shitty friend." He laughs and shrugs before continuing. "And you know what's crazy? You want to preach about how I don't notice when something's up with you, but why couldn't you notice that I was different, too? I love her. I'm in love with her, and it's not fair that you get to parade around with Maya while I'm fucking suffering."
He just said this in front of the entire team. I'm standing here in shock without a damn thing to say because I know he's right. I've been a shit friend, and I should have been happy for the two of them instead of tearing them down. I can see it written on his face how much he loves her. He's broken, and I'm the reason why.
"Cameron, I'm-" My voice falters, and I don't know why I'm being so damn emotional right now. I guess I just miss my best friend. I hate how fucked up things have become. I miss how things used to be, and when he looks at me again, the anger isn't there anymore. He can tell how I feel without me even having to say it.
"What the hell is going on in here?" Coach Carter roars, waving his clipboard in the air as he storms through his door. "Are you really going to be fucking sissies when we've got a state championship to worry about? You've got two minutes to get your shit together. Everyone else -- out on the field! Go!"
In seconds the crowd dissipates and it's just Cameron and me alone in here. He sits down on the bench and hangs his head in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees before he lets out a loud sigh. "I've never felt pain like this." He mutters. "I don't know how I'm supposed to be normal again after losing her, and I know, you don't like us together, but I need to talk to someone, and you used to be that someone for me, Ethan. I don't know what the hell happened, or how things got so fucked, but... I can't lose you too. I just can't."
There's been more anger and tension In this past week than I've ever felt before, and I'm ready to wave the flag. It's exhausting pretending to hate him, so I collapse down on the bench beside him. "If it makes you feel any better, Maya and I are done, too."
This news makes him take his head out of his hands to look at me. "Why? You guys were happy, right? I thought..."
"Her parents," I say with a shrug, "they aren't really too fond of her dating me, so..."
"Damn," he says after he pieces together why, "that's tough. I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I deserved it. I've been a dick to you and Maddie, and I know that, but It's just because--"
"ALRIGHT, LET'S GO!" Coach's voice booms into the locker room before he slams the door shut again, and just from the sound, Cameron and I both shoot to our feet.
Cameron doesn't even know the real reason why I was so mad about them being together. He doesn't understand that I was just jealous of losing him too, but when I go to talk again, he shakes his head.
"I know what you're going to say," he says, "but why Maddie chose to end things with me wasn't all because of you. You have more than enough reason to be pissed at us for going behind your back, and as much as I want to dig into all of this, we have the state championships this weekend, and I just want to put all of this shit behind us so that we can go out there and play our best. Truthfully, I don't think I'll be able to talk about her right now anyways. The less I think about her the better."
I understand exactly what he means because I'm going through the same thing, but as much as not talking has its benefits, I also know that we're going to need to talk about it eventually. Cameron isn't ready yet, and I get that, but I'm hoping that when he is ready, he'll come to me because I want more than anything to explain myself and truly apologize.
I need to make up for what a shit I've been.
__________
Letting coach hear our disagreement earlier in the locker room was a huge mistake. Play after play he made Cameron and I do suicides and then take a lap around the field immediately afterward. My legs felt like jello as I showered, and as I glanced down at my feet, I was surprised I was still able to hold myself upright. I'm walking slowly out of the school now, limping from my back that got pulled out during the last round of suicides. I might actually listen to Cameron and take an ice bath when I get back to the house. He didn't want to come back with me. I guess his dad is back in town, and it seems like it's going to be for good now. I hope that's the case because despite how mad I was at Cameron, I'm always going to want the best for him. Being with his dad is what's best.
I lift my eyes up to unlock my truck, and that's when I see Maya leaning up against the driver's side door. She beams when she sees me, her face lighting up entirely before she runs over and jumps into my arms. I wasn't expecting this -- her to act so okay about everything, but I'm not going to complain. I thought we were done, and yet here she is happy and in my arms as I grip underneath her thighs with my hands.
The smell of honey clouds my senses, and I inhale deeply to try and remember it if for whatever reason this is some cruel joke and she is planning on breaking it off with me. The skin from her legs feels smooth against my fingertips, and I can't help but notice the goosebumps that appear when I rub gently.
"Hi," she gushes, and then she runs her hands through my hair to interlace her fingers behind my neck. "I missed you. How was practice?"
"Uh, it was fine." I clear my throat and place a gentle kiss on her lips. "I wasn't expecting to see you here after what happened with your dad."
Almost as if she's having flashbacks, she visibly winces and looks away from me for a quick second. "Yeah, they weren't too happy about us."
"But...?" I ask hopefully.
"But nothing," she mutters in defeat, "they took away my phone and every source of contact I have at speaking with you."
Ah, so that explains the silence.
"But I'm not going to stop seeing you, Ethan,"she says when I walk around to set her on the hood of my truck, "I don't care what they say."
I know Maya better than anyone, and I know that regardless of her saying that, it's not the truth. Dating someone her parents don't like can only go so far. Eventually, it's going to get to her, but that just means I'll have to fix it with her parents before she gets to that point. Little does she know I've already started.
"Your parents mean everything to you," I tell her, "and I know it'll bother you, Maya. You said so yourself our second time at Five Guy's that--"
"Yes, but that was before--" she stops herself and lets out a tiny sigh. "Who am I kidding? I've been in love with you ever since we played that first game of call of duty."
Oh, god.
I can't breathe.
The sentence I've been dying to hear from her ever since we met all those years ago just escaped her perfect, beautiful mouth and I'm frozen in shock. I actually think I'm in a dream, so I pinch my skin about three times to try and wake myself up. It's reality, though.
I grab her off the hood of my truck and spin her around in a circle, her legs clutching around my waist. "Are you serious?" I laugh, smiling from ear to ear. "Don't mess around with me."
She shakes her head. "I'm not messing with you! I love you, Ethan. I'm in love with you. I always have been, and I'm not letting my parent's get in the way of a good thing. They'll get used to it eventually."
Kissing her deeply, I'm smiling into our kiss and running my hands down her back as I desperately try to blindly find the way to the backseat. There's nothing else I can think of to do right now other than take her right here, right now.
Or say it back! My subconscious snaps.
Oh, fuck.
"I love you too," I blurt out, "sorry I-I forgot to say it back, but we're going to make it, Maya. I promise you. Whatever I have to do to please your parents I'm going to do it, okay? In fact..." Reaching into my pocket, I support her around my waist with one hand as I take out my phone with the other and pull up an app. I flip the screen around and hold my breath while she scans her eyes over the screen, tears welling up almost instantly in them.
"You're learning Spanish..." she chokes out, "for me?"
I nod. "Me llamo Ethan. First sentence I've learned."
Translation: My name is Ethan.
"Get in this damn backseat." She tilts her head towards the car while I steal a glance at her breasts in that tube top, and I'm in utter awe at how beautiful she is. Maya is mine, and I'm going to do whatever I can to change her parent's mind.
Operation get Maya's parent's on my side is in full effect.
A/N:
So sorry for the delay on the update today. I've been dealing with a whole mess since The Perfect Timing was removed!!! I'm trying to get it back, but if I can't, I have to re-post all of the chapters and lose 2 million reads. I am devastated :( waiting to see what Wattpad support says.
Please comment/vote!!!!
One more chapter :) Thursday this entire series will be completed!!!! I am so emotional.
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