FOUR TRIED TO OPEN HIS EYES BUT WHEN HE DID, HAIR GOT IN THEM. He moved the hair and gazed down at the girl lying on his chest. Thinking she was still asleep, he admired her beauty. Her long eyelashes and her curved nose. Stunning.
When Celia woke up, her pillow felt warm. She snuggled into it before realizing that it was, in fact, not a pillow. She tried to remain calm, not opening her eyes, though she could feel someone staring at her. She knew it could only be Four.
"You're staring," she whispered.
"No, I'm not," his voice was husky, signaling he had just woken up too. She opened her eyes to look at him, finding her statement to be true.
"Sure, Four. Whatever you want to believe," she sat up, leaning against the pillow behind her and closing her eyes again. Even after the night, she was still tired. Four also got up, leaving the girl in his bed. Celia didn't realize how long she had actually been sitting there until Four came back with items in his hands.
"How you feeling?" He questioned.
"Better."
"Good," he set down the stuff on the opposite table before pivoting back to her. "Where did you go yesterday?" Celia looked at the floor before her eyes met Fours again.
"To see my friend," she answered.
Four rolled his eyes, turning away from her. "It's getting a little boring for you here, is it?" He questioned sarcastically, referring to the night before. He leaned on the table behind him. This time it was Celia's turn to roll her eyes.
"My friend said that... She thinks Erudite is planning to overthrow Abnegation. Do you think they could do that?" She asked.
"Yeah, I do. I think it's possible. Depends how far they're willing to go," he answered, nodding his head a little and leaning on the table behind him.
"I'm worried about my friends," she was worried about Stella. Stella was in abnegation but their whole motto is being selfless, so she helped amity. If erudite was planning on overthrowing abnegation, Stella could get caught in the crossfire.
"Yeah, but I think you got other things to worry about. Don't you?" He referred to when she got attacked again. But Celia thought of being divergent.
"Yeah, I should go," she stood up, leaving Four behind. Celia traveled the halls before she finally found her way to the cafeteria. She found her friends and sat next to Christina.
Christina rubbed Celia's arm as she sat down. "Hi,"
"Hey," she mumbled, laying her head on her hand.
"Is that your sweater?" Christina asked.
Celia blushed, looking down at the sweatshirt Four gave her. "No," she answered honestly.
Chris sat up straighter, "So, what happened to you last night?" She questioned as a hand was up on Celia's shoulder. Celia jumped and turned around, seeing Al.
"Celia, can I talk to you for a second? Listen, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry-" He got cut off by Celia.
"You're sorry? You're sorry?!" She almost screamed as she stood up. "Sorry is something you say when you bump into someone, not-" Al put his hand up to her mouth, not wanting her to tell everyone what he did. Celia grabbed his wrist and moved it away from her face. Then, she punched him, right in the jaw. He leaned over, holding his jaw.
Eric saw her right as she walked in, it was like he knew the exact moment she would. He watched the whole exchange with a smirk on his face, he couldn't help but notice the sweater she was wearing. Four's sweater. His jaw clenched at the idea that she slept in his apartment.
"Celia," Al didn't get to finish what he was going to say.
"If you ever come close to me again, I will kill you... You are a coward," she seethed, then she looked around, seeing everyone's eyes on her. She made eye contact with Eric for a second. She covered her mouth and stormed off, not liking the stares she was getting from everyone.
Kai followed after her, "Celia!" He exclaimed. He caught up to her when they got to the dorms. "What the hell was that?!" He looked concerned. Celia could see Chris and Will behind him.
"Just, follow me," she led them to her bed. She sat and leaned against the wall, preparing herself for what she was about to tell them. "When I was walking in the hallways last night, three masked figures came out of nowhere. I was going toward the chasm so I already knew where they were leading me. They covered my mouth and grabbed my feet. I was terrified. When they got to the chasm I fought them until I noticed something," she gulped, seeing their faces at her words. "One of the guys looked familiar so I grabbed his mask and pulled it off. Turns out, it was Al. I know the other guy was Peter. I'm guessing Peter got into Al's head and got him to do that," she explained, scared that they wouldn't believe her.
"Are you sure it was Al?" Will asked and Celia nodded her head.
"How'd you escape? It was three to one," Christina quizzed.
"Someone saw and helped me," she answered, hoping they'd give up on the questions.
"I just can't believe he would do that, it's not like him at all," Christina said dumbfounded. Then their attention was brought away and to some guys yelling.
"What's that?" Will questioned.
"Who the hell knows, we're at dauntless," Celia mused, getting up to see what was happening. They got to a part of the chasm, seeing a couple of guys pulling a rope. When they pulled it up, Celia backed away. "Oh my God."
It was Al.
Celia could feel her friend's eyes on her, she needed to get out of there. She ran off, walking through the tunnels, not even caring where she was going. Then Four came around the corner, he slowed when he saw her, obviously hearing about Al.
"Celia," she tried to ignore him but he called out again. "Celia!"
"Leave me alone," she muttered, trying to walk away. But she couldn't because he grabbed her bicep.
"I'm sorry about Al."
"It's my fault he's dead," she rubbed her forehead.
"No, it's not because of you," his tone was assertive. "He made his own choice. He would have been factionless. He was not going to pass that final test."
"Neither am I," she muttered, looking away.
He tilted his head, "Why do you say that?" He knew why, he knew since her first test.
She looked up at him, "You know why," she admitted. He nodded and glanced down. She ranted, "And as soon as everyone else finds out, they're gonna kill me. Eric's already suspicious of me."
He shook his head, looking straight into her eyes, "I'm not gonna let that happen," Celia didn't have a sarcastic comment for that one. "Follow me." She did as she was told and followed him. While on their walk, Celia thought about his words. If he can help her, does that mean he's divergent too? He led her to the same room she has gone to every day this past week. Her eyebrows furrowed, confused about why he brought her here.
"Shut the door," he sassed. Celia rolled her eyes at his attitude change, but still, she closed the door. "You're gonna practice." He told her.
"In my fear landscape?" She questioned.
He shook his head, going over to the computer. "No, in mine," he took off his jacket. "We go in together." Celia couldn't say she wasn't flattered that he'd let her into his mind.
"You've done this before, right?" She glanced away.
He looked down, "No, I haven't," he said honestly, peering back up at her. He grabbed the syringe and she looked away.
"Are you sure you want to, Four?" She questioned.
"Why wouldn't I?" He almost laughed at her, amused that she was scared.
"I don't know. I know like, nothing about you, besides how you like to decorate your room, and now you wanna let me see inside of your head?" It was true, Celia knew almost nothing about him personally. All she knew was what she had gathered from rumors and seeing his reactions.
"Are you afraid of that?" He smirked, looking like he was mocking her. Yes, she definitely was, Four.
"Aren't you?" She said, exasperated.
He glanced down before making deadeye contact with her. "No," that one word made Celia want to smile. He trusted her so much that he'd let her inside his head. She knew he most likely wasn't lying. If he was, why would he even go through with this?
"Oh," she said, her voice just barely above a whisper. He put the syringe in his neck, leaving half of it in the capsule.
"Why did you freak out when you found out I could see inside your head?" That caught her off guard.
"What do you mean?" She tried to deflect the question.
"You know exactly what I mean," he walked closer to her. "Why'd you freak out?" His hand came up to the side of her face, to steady her. She closed her eyes, not wanting to answer. She felt a poke in her neck, signaling that he injected it. She opened her eyes, looking straight at him.
"It's just weird, being able to see someone's mind and how it works. When you told me you could see inside my mind, I felt intimidated," she truthfully said.
He looked at her for a few seconds, then glanced to the floor. He grabbed something attached to a wire and put one on her temple and one on his.
"We're more alike than you think, Celia," and with that, he laid down having her lay on top of him, for the second time that day. But before they fell asleep he whispered something in her ear. "Try to figure out why they call me Four," after a couple of seconds, they woke up in his fear landscape.
Celia peered down, noticing they were about fifty stories high. She looked toward Four, who was in front of her. "Fear of heights, not surprising," she stood up. "It's not real, we could just jump."
"No," Four's voice sounded gravely as he stood up. "Divergent would jump. Dauntless would get to that building," he looked toward it, then back to Celia. "If you wanna pass, if you want to avoid discovery, you have to do everything the way a dauntless would do it. You have to find some tool, some method to survive," he informed her while they walked over to the building. When they got there, they crawled through tunnels before they got to a small room
The walls started to cave in. Four rushed to try and stop them. "Fear of confinement. You have to find a way to stop it," he said, leaning against the wall. "What would a dauntless do?"
Celia looked down and saw some screws. She picked them up and scrambled to put them under the walls. "Good," she couldn't get them fully under and whimpered, trying desperately. "Take your time," he suggests. "I'm just enjoying myself in this shrinking box." He said sarcastically.
"Ya' know, most guys would consider themselves lucky to be in such a small room with me," she remarked.
He rolled his eyes at her joke, "You think your humor is gonna get you outta here?" He replied.
"No," she finally got them under and the scene changed. "But, you know you love my sarcastic personality," she finished her sentence.
They were in a big room now, there was a gun on the table and a girl in the chair. What freaked Celia out was that the girl looked almost exactly like her. She had Celia's tattoos, her hair color, and even her clothes.
"As a dauntless soldier, you have to follow orders you don't always agree with," he didn't take his eyes off of the girl in the chair.
"Who is she?" The question she really wanted to ask was, why did she look so much like herself?
"She's an innocent, I have to kill her," he slowly walked up to the girl, aiming the gun at her forehead, cocking it. "But I can never do it unless I look away. She's you," he closed his eyes and glanced away, pulling the trigger.
Celia looked around, seeing the scenery change. They were in abnegation. He backed up like he had done this a million times, which he probably has. "Why are we in abnegation?" She followed him as he walked around.
"Your last fear is your worst fear. It lives in the deepest part of your mind," he informed her. She didn't miss the 'last fear' part, signaling that he only had four fears. She didn't have enough time to comment on it when Marcus Eaton came down the stairs.
"Marcus had a son, what was his name?" She asked carefully, the gears turning in her head.
"Tobias," Marcus said. Then another Marcus appeared. Eventually, they were surrounded by five clones. The name echoed in their ears as they stepped closer. Every clone had a belt, and Celia finally caught on. Four was Tobias Eaton. Marcus Eaton's son, whom he abused.
"Tobias, I'm just trying to help you be better," Marcus approached them, only looking at Four. He went to raise the belt but Celia blocked Four. "No!" She exclaimed.
She got pushed aside, failing. Four grabbed his father's arm and punched him. His father fell, all of the clones fell with him.
Celia gasped as she woke up, she glanced around the room before turning to Four. She couldn't express all of the feelings she felt because of that fear landscape. He leaned forward and grabbed the wire attached to her head.
They didn't say anything on the walk back to his apartment. They both had so much to say, but couldn't get the words out. When they got to the room, Four instantly went out to the balcony. Celia knew that people had places they went to think, the balcony had to be Fours. After a while, she decided to join him out there. He glanced at her before looking back at the skyline.
"When you said we were more alike..." She trailed off.
"I meant it," he sighed.
"Four? Four fears," she recalled what he said to her before they went into the landscape.
"Four then, four now. I kept going in there, but I don't think you ever lose them," he stated. "Since that night on the train, the girl has turned into you before I had to kill her."
Celia was shocked, to say the least. They sat in silence for a minute before Four spoke up, "Your tattoos, what are the meanings?"
Celia tensed, "I was hoping you'd forget about that question," she chuckled. "They aren't very deep but the amity sign is obviously because I was in amity. The word ignite on my collarbone is from my favorite book. The other two have deeper meanings," she sighed before continuing. "The words 'someone who loves you wouldn't do this' are about my father, and what he did to me and my mother. Saying that someone who cares for you, wouldn't abuse you and hurt you. But they also fit with my mother because the abuse got so bad for her, that she bailed on me... I read them once and they stuck out to me, so I got them tattooed," she laughed, "Sorry, this sounds so depressing."
"No, it's not depressing, I promise. please, continue," he looked at her, like really looked at her. Celia felt like he could see right through her, seeing all of the things hidden under her protective layer.
"Okay... The last one is a hummingbird on my wrist. I admire hummingbirds because they show that you have to fight to survive. Their wings flutter a million miles per hour. They have to work hard every day just to stay alive, always on the verge of death. How satisfying it must feel that it survived that day. It reminds me that we're human, for some odd reason. That every second, every choice matters. And, if you didn't make that choice, how would your life be affected? Like if I didn't choose to come out here, we wouldn't be having this conversation." She finished her rant.
She looked at Four for the first time after she talked about the hummingbird tattoo and he was so focused on her. He had heard everything she said, but he just couldn't take his eyes off her. Her beauty was something he would never get over. The way a little smile forms on her lips when she talks about something she liked. The smart-ass comments that he acted like he hated but really made him laugh later on. Everything about her was so intriguing to him. He wanted to know her, not just the cold, sarcastic side she puts up, but the real her. The one that laughs at the stupidest things. The one that opened up about her past.
The one that was his, that only he got to see.
He was pulled out of his trance when she waved her hand in front of his face. "Four? Are you okay?" She asked.
"Hm? Yeah, I'm fine," he smoothly replied, looking back into the sunset.
"I was just saying, can I ask you something?"
He smiled a little, "Sure."
"What's your tattoo?"
"Wanna see it?" He questioned. Celia nodded, also smiling. He turned around and took off his shirt. Celia couldn't help the blush that came over her cheeks.
The tattoo on Four's back was more intricate than the girl could ever imagine. Two black lines were going up the middle with more lines attached going to his shoulders. The middle held all of the factions. It was so detailed that Celia couldn't take in all of the little fragments. It was extravagant. She placed her hand on his back, tracing the tattoo. Four tensed, looking over his shoulder. "It's amazing. The factions... Why do you have them all?"
"I don't want to be just one thing. I can't be. I want to be brave and I want to be selfless... Intelligent, honest, and kind," he said as he turned to look at her. "Although I'm still working on kind." He smiled, looking down at her. Their eye contact lasted for a while before Four leaned in, putting his hand on the side of her face. Kissing her.
All Celia could feel were butterflies as it happened. When his lips met hers, she swore the world stopped. She felt like she was floating, and not because she jumped all off a ledge or a train. This time, it was because of Tobias Eaton. Because of the way he made her feel. Like she was safe with him. Like nothing could go wrong when she was with him. The guy she had always talked back to because she could. Because she knew that beneath the cold exterior, he loved her ramblings about the things she liked. He loved the way she made the desire to punch her, so prominent.
When Four felt her kiss back, he was relieved. Relieved that he hadn't misread the situation. The feeling of her lips on his was the most lovely thing that has happened to him. He'd been waiting since that day on the train for this to happen. Every time her eyes met his, his heart would jump. For a while, he didn't know why. Well, he knew, he just didn't want to accept it because it was Celia. The girl that drove him crazy with her sarcastic remarks. The one who talked back to everyone, not caring about the consequences, because they never came. He made sure they didn't. He made sure that Eric didn't make her do twenty laps during their private training, the thing Four still hasn't gotten over. He made sure she felt safe, and was safe.
When Celia finally broke their make-out thing, putting her thumb on Four's lips. She felt like she was in the clouds because of him. "I don't wanna go too fast, Four," she breathes, their foreheads pressed together.
"Please, don't call me that," he sighs. Celia furrowed her brows, confused.
"Four?"
"Yeah," he states.
"So what should I call you then?" She questioned.
"My real name."
"Okay, I don't wanna go too fast, Tobias," she emphasized. He closed his eyes, happy to hear his name again, but coming out of her gorgeous lips.
"It's okay, we already have our sleeping arrangement," she laughed breathily. "Though it doesn't seem to work, does it?" He smiled. They stood there for some time before deciding to go to sleep, considering tomorrow was the last day before the fear landscape. They both fell asleep, still having a pillow barrier, but also knowing that it won't do anything. Facing away from each other, but still had smiles on their faces.