How well do you know if someone has moved on? Is moving on a way to forget your feelings towards someone or it's only a forced belief to stop yourself from hurting?
Change. They say that it's the only thing that is constant. It means what was before is different today, thus, it is not similar. Change can be something good or bad, depending on the situation. But what is change? When something from the past gets repeated? How can a person change a situation? Is it by changing himself first or the situation itself?
_
Jennie drank the glass of water hurriedly. "Excuse me for a moment. I'll be back," She rushed towards the door exit and scanned the parking lot, verifying if what she saw is real.
She saw Jisoo's car exited the place and saw Park Bo-gum talking to someone - long blonde hair in a black dress; her back is facing her direction as they were standing behind the Range Rover. Jennie ran towards their way and grabbed the woman's shoulder.
"Hey!" The woman got astounded and Bo-gum also reacted in surprise.
"Jennie?"
"I'm sorry, I thought it's someone I know," Jennie apologized and took quick steps towards the restaurant, slightly embarrassed for mistakenly got the person wrong.
She went straight to the washroom and splashed her face with faucet water. She softly slapped her cheeks with her palms and murmured to herself, "Jennie, stop it. You must be hallucinating,"
She breathed in deeply and let out a loud sigh. "I'm right. I must be seeing things. Must be the therapy's after effects," She convinced herself.
She went back to the table after composing herself.
_
{Earlier}
Bo-gum opened the passenger seat door for Lisa and closed it behind after she got in. While going to the driver's seat, an old acquaintance approached his direction and called his name.
"Park Bo-gum!"
"Woah heyyy, Hale. It's nice to see you here," They greeted each other in cheek-to-cheek. Bo-gum scrutinize her outfit in amusement upon knowing that what Hale is wearing is similar to his fiancé.
"Didn't know I'd run to you when you're such a busy man," Hale said.
He shrug his shoulders and chuckled. "Well, I'm here cause my fiancé and I are up to something important,"
"Hmm... Expansion?"
He shook his head. "Nope. It's her own business actually, I just want to be supportive. I think she's also here to meet her old friends,"
"I see. Well, it's nice to see you here. Your restaurant is the only place I always love to go. Since I am having a vacation, I drove 2 hours just to dine -," Hale got cut off when someone grabbed her shoulder behind.
"Hey!"
"Jennie?"
"I'm sorry, I thought it's someone I know," Jennie excused herself and quickly went back inside the restaurant.
Bo-gum's brows knitted when Lisa got off the car and watched Jennie running towards the restaurant. She watched every step and every strands of her hair bouncing behind her back. Lisa forgot that Bo-gum has been asking her for the third time already.
"Hon, are you okay?"
She removed her eyes from Jennie and went straight back to Bo-gum. "Sorry, hon. Yes, I am "
"I mean, that was Jennie," He said and Lisa mouthed 'I know'.
"By the way, this is Hale. My old acquaintance in France," He introduced her to his acquaintance and both greeted in cheek-to-cheek.
"It's nice to finally meet you, Bo-gum's fiancé. You're gorgeous," Hale complimented and Lisa smiled warmly.
"Thank you. So are you,"
{End of quick flashback}
_
"Jagiya, are you okay?" Eun Woo asked and Jennie just nodded.
"Yes, I am. Don't worry about me," She lied.
"Are you sure?"
"Definitely sure. Please don't worry about me," She affirmed.
"Okay uhm, if you say so." He pursed his lips and looks worriedly at Jennie sitting uncomfortably.
It was a lunch mostly filled with thin silence, Jennie didn't finish her meal and only ate a portion. She seems to lose her appetite.
Does time heals or it only endures?
Jennie didn't drive directly to her office, she swerve her steering wheel and took a detour.
She hit the brakes when she arrived to the place she used to go to even if she was under therapy before. It's Lisa's old small house, the one she used to lived in. Her heart aches of the memory, it was the memories that keeps haunting her and it was being left behind that caused her breakdowns, doesn't know how and what to react when she sees Lisa face to face. 'It hurts' she says. If it's painful then why do we keep coming back to the same pain?
The pain that struck her again is the kind of pain that doesn't make her cry - not anymore, but it only made her heart race rapidly that much of the beat it becomes painful.
A motorcycle parked in front of the house and the rider is dressed in a complete gear. Jennie moved herself from her seat and leaned unto the car window to check who the rider is.
It's Lisa without Park Bo-gum, just Lisa. Jennie gripped the steering wheel hardly upon seeing Lisa's face when the helmet was removed.
'Is she coming here for good?' Jennie thought to herself, thinking of possible heartaches she's going to experience when she's going to encounter Lisa again. She didn't know what to react, all she knows is that seeing her past lover kills her, albeit, she knows that already.
Lisa felt watched and glanced over the car's direction. She squinted her eyes and try to overlook who's behind the driver's seat, but due to the heavy tint of the car's window, the driver's identity is unknown.
As Lisa had grown some trust issues, she bravely walk towards the car and to some point the car drove away the moment she's a meter away. Instinct wise, she rush to her motorcycle, started the engine, dropped her helmet on the floor, and followed the mysterious car.
Jennie stepped on the accelerator harder as her eyes kept on glancing at the side mirror to see if Lisa has kept up. She swerved to the left to lose the car in Lisa's sight. The car's speed descended as there are people around the street she drives into, being prudent to avoid accidents.
She heard the roar of the motorcycle behind her and Lisa tapped on her left ear and growled when she realized she's not wearing a helmet as she accidentally dropped it. Her helmet with a bluetooth device connected to her phone is essential for her side mission to quick dial her best friend Bam; it's her tool to communicate while in mobility.
Jennie on the other hand, finally came out from the crowded street and sped up as fast as she can, not knowing which side of the road she's in right now.
Lisa is trying her best to keep up safely while remembering the car's plate number. She keeps reciting it in order not to forget.
The motorcycle is now a meter apart from the car. Lisa is doing her best possible way to catch on the car she thought that is mysterious and up to something evil.
"Damn. He's so fast!" Lisa said while in pursuit of the car.
Jennie passed over before the red light while Lisa hit the brakes in full right after a full speed and got herself pushed forward from her seat, lost her balance and it made the motorcycle fell sidewards. Her left leg got trapped with the her big bike and she screamed for help and someone called for an ambulance.
_
"Ahh. It hurts," Lisa yelped in pain while on a gurney.
"Just hang on and the doctor will be here. For now, I am just going to give you some painkillers," the nurse said.
"I don't need those. I need my phone!" Lisa insisted.
"Ma'am. You need to rest and we will be the one to contact your family members,"
"I don't have any family with me in here. Just call Bam," Lisa said while holding the physical pain in her left leg.
"Excuse me? Is the patient Lisa Manoban in here?" A familiar voice got overheard by Lisa inside the emergency room.
"Jisoo?" Lisa muttered. "Jisooo!!" She yelled to let Jisoo hear her enough and the latter followed where the voice was.
"Lisa, what happened?" Jisoo asked worriedly as she eyed Lisa's situation. "What happened to your leg??"
The nurse paged any available doctor to get to the ER and left the two for a moment. "where is everyone?" The nurse groaned.
"It's a long story, Jisooyah. Just please contact Bam for me," Lisa pleaded.
"Bam? Don't you want to contact your fiancé first?"
Lisa shook her head in disagreement. "Just not him. He might get worried and probably be asking me thousands of questions," She said while still yelping in secret.
"Fine. I'll contact him on the messenger asap," Jisoo did what Lisa said and Bam told her that he's on his way to the hospital.
"How did you know I am here? I didn't tell anyone yet nor the nurses called someone," Lisa asked curiously.
"I don't know. I just received an unknown text saying that you got into an accident. I thought it was a prank, so I bit into it and checked myself. Glad that it wasn't a prank," Jisoo said and Lisa shot her a death look.
"No no no, I'm sorry. What I meant is that it's a good thing that it wasn't a prank, but not a good thing that you got yourself hurt, geez," Jisoo added.
"Thanks to that anonymous person then," Lisa rolled her eyes, she skeptically think that it doesn't have to do with her accident. She suspect that someone might be behind her even in the pursuit of the mysterious car.
The nurse came back but with someone with her. It's the doctor, Bam, and a police officer.
"Everyone please vacate this area and just wait outside. There's too many patients and we can't put much crowd in here. I need to check this young lady's leg," the doctor plea politely.
"Okay doctor," Jisoo said and the three of them went out of the ER.
As Lisa is still in the ER. Jisoo knitted her brows and begin to be inquisitive.
"Why is there a police officer in here?" She asked Bam.
The officer cleared his throat "Miss ma'am, I feel hurt, you can just ask me directly,"
Jisoo sneered and didn't look at the police officer, and the latter scratched his head, still giving his smile to Jisoo.
Jisoo can see in her peripherals that the officer is looking at her intently while still smiling. "Could you stop staring at me and just answer the question? Why are you here? What did my friend do?"
"Oh oh easy, Miss ma'am. You're scaring me, didn't know that such beauty has an attitude." The officer giggled, his eyes are genuinely smiling and happy.
"Bam could you just answer for me?"
"Come on, Haein. We are in a serious situation. Just answer the woman already," Bam clicked his tongue and pat Jisoo's shoulder lightly.
"I am actually Liutenant Haein, Lisa and Bam's friend," He reached his hand to Jisoo and she took it as a sign of respect knowing that the officer she's talking to is a Lieutenant.
"I am Kim Jisoo. One of Lisa's close friends," They shook hands and Haein smiled brightly at Jisoo that it made her smile involuntarily.
She try to pull her hand off the handshake but Haein didn't lose the grip and still smiling at Jisoo. "Let go, you pervert!"
Haein loosen the grip and Jisoo escaped from it. She glared at Haein but the former is still grinning like an idiot. "If only you are not one of Lisa's friends, I will arrest you for insulting a police officer,"
She ignored the guy and looked at Bam who's on his phone, looking busy and focused.
"Jisoo. Are you the one being contacted first to be informed about Lisa's accident?" Bam asked.
"I guess I am because I am the only person here before you guys,"
"How come?" Bam asked curiously, wondering why Jisoo was the one being informed other than him when in the emergency contacts it was Bam's name is in there.
"An unknown number sent a message stating that Lisa got into an accident and has sent to this hospital," Jisoo responded.
"Can we have the number of the sender? Can we see the message sent?" Haein asked politely and Jisoo nodded. She took her phone from her pocket and showed to Bam and Haein the message.
From: Unknown #####
Lisa got into a motorcycle accident and it's urgent. The ambulance is taking her to SKN hospital.
"That's weird. Why is that person being anonymous?" Bam asked.
Jisoo shrugged. "I don't know. It's weird for me too. At first, I thought it was a prank but I got all worried and checked it myself, and it turned out to be that the anonymous person wasn't lying,"
"Hmm..." Haein think thoroughly and eyed Bam. He gets the number of the anonymous sender. "I'll send this to someone and get it traced,"
__
Jennie parked her car in her building's basement and lean her back on the seat. She breathed in heavily while trying to stop her shaking hands.
'what the hell am I even doing?' she thought to herself, sigh after sigh.
She went up to her office and Sana greeted her. "By the way, Ms. Kim. You have an appointment with Mr. Eun Woo later,"
"Just cancel it for today,"
"He told me that it's important. It's about his possible investors or buyer," Sana insisted.
"Tell him I'm sick. He will surely listen," Jennie said plainly and closed the door behind her, leaving Sana outside.
Sana informed Eun Woo.
Jennie's phone rang but ignored it as it's Eun Woo who's calling. It ended and she got a message instead.
From: Eun Woo
Why didn't you tell me that you're sick?
She groaned.
To: Eun Woo
I need to visit my therapist today.
She lied.
From: Eun Woo
For what reason? I thought you are okay?
To: Eun Woo
I am okay but I just need to have a chat with her.
From: Eun Woo
Fine. I'll just go to the meeting alone.
To: Eun Woo
You can do it, Jagiya. We can't be together all the time. I am now a busy woman.
From: Eun Woo
Yes, I know that. I'm sorry. I guess I just really want you around all the time.
To: Eun Woo
It's okay. Goodluck. Fighting!
From: Eun Woo
Thank you, Jagiya. I love you.
Jennie haven't uttered to him the words 'I love you' yet until she feels she loves him genuinely, until she feels the same way, but he's patient and will always be patient until she can say it back.
That's what she thought it would be.
_
She did what she told to Eun Woo for it will become a truth. She got a walk-in appointment with Dr. Seol In-ah and sat on the couch freely.
"How are you, Jennie? It's been 2 or 3 years since your last visit," Dr. In-ah said while she pours a hot tea in a cup and offered it to Jennie.
"Thank you, Dr.," She took the tea from her psychiatrist and sipped a little.
"You seem okay. What brings you here?"
She wants to go since she find it unnecessary. Since she's already in Dr. Seol In-ah's clinic, she took the opportunity to share what bugged her these days.
"I actually have this problem," She said as a starter of the session and Dr. In-ah just nodded as a signal to keep going on.
"Remember the reason that I was in a rough state years ago?" Jennie paused and heave a sigh before continuing. "That person is back and I don't know what I feel but it's painful here," She pointed at her chest while Dr. In-ah is focusing on Jennie's reaction and behavior.
"Did you see her?"
Jennie nodded, "I saw her from afar but we weren't face to face,"
"How do you feel about it?"
"I don't know what it is but I feel nervous, anxious, and it felt.. painful," Jennie's fingers fidgettung on her lap.
"Did you do something about it?" The psychiatrist asked.
Jennie hesitates to answer but she's open and honest with her feelings, so she admitted that she followed Lisa the moment she saw her and stopped by her old house. The psychiatrist jot down on her patient's notes while listening to her.
"What happened after?"
"Uhm... She got into an accident and now I feel so guilty about it," She responded.
"Hmm... So does it compensate everything you've been through before?" Dr. In-ah asked which made Jennie think deeply. She pondered on her doctor's question.
"I am not sure,"
"Do you remember the day you almost killed yourself?" Dr. In-ah reminded her and her chest ached again by the memory of it, she starts to well-up and clenched her fists on her lap. "So you do remember. How do you feel now, Jennie?"
Her tears fell involuntarily, unstoppable because of a painful memory and hard process of getting back to her feet.
"So if you feel like you should feel guilty about something, then think of those times when you're in your rock bottom," Dr. In-ah said in a strict tone. "But I am not instilling any emotion that you should feel. I am just reminding you. Don't let your emotions fool you," She added.
{Flashback}
First day of therapy, Jennie was accompanied by Mrs. Kim. Dr. Seol In-ah offered them coffee and made themselves feel comfortable.
"This is my daughter Jennie. The one I talked about," Mrs. Kim said and Dr. In-ah acknowledged.
"Hi, Ms. Jennie Kim. My name is Dr. Seol In-ah, I am one of the well-recommended psychiatrists in this country." Dr. In-ah reached her hand for a handshake but Jennie just stared at it blankly. She pursed her lips and placed her hand inside her coat.
"You can leave us in here, Mrs. Kim. It is best if it's just me and my patient. Everything we are going to talk about will be confidential," Dr. In-ah said politely and Mrs. Kim obliged.
"I'll be waiting outside," Mrs. Kim said and kissed Jennie on the forehead.
Mrs. Kim closed the door behind her, leaving the patient and the psychiatrist alone.
"She's out. You can start with anything," Dr. In-ah told Jennie but the latter is not saying anything.
"I won't stop until you say something," She added but there's nothing she can get from Jennie.
In-ah exhaled patiently and sipped in her coffee. An hour has passed, Jennie is still in complete silence and Dr. In-ah thought that they will try it on the second session.
2nd session:
Same set-up and same questions. Jennie is still silent.
"You're making me rich by not doing anything, Jennie." The doctor joked but Jennie got no reaction.
3rd session:
Dr. In-ah tried to give Jennie a piece of pen and paper and let her draw anything that's on her mind. Jennie just stared at the paper blankly and didn't touch any.
"Well, I guess I got nothing today," Dr. In-ah sighed.
Jennie slowly reched for the pen and paper which got In-ah's attention. The doctor smiled while looking at her patient coordinating.
Jennie placed the pen and paper back on the table without anything written on it. Dr. In-ah just lengthened her patience towards her patient.
4th session:
The same set-up, Dr. In-ah still placed a pen and paper on Jennie's table and luckily, she wrote something.
Doctor. You don't have to give me these. I am going to talk.
In-ah smiled discreetly and clasped her hands, and crossed her legs, waiting for Jennie to open up.
And Jennie did.
It wasn't an easy session for Jennie and it was a lot of patience instilled in In-ah as the former is different from her other patients. She cared the most about her than anyone else.
{End of flashback}
__
"Tell me, Jennie. How do you feel about it?" Dr. In-ah asked.
"I- uh. I don't know doctor. I don't know if I am ready to see and face her. I don't know what will happen to me, all these years, I have been trying to build my walls up and I am sort of scared that she might be the same person to break it," Jennie muttered, her voice is sort if shaky as she's still in pain.
"You really want to know how would you feel then?" Dr. In-ah asked and Jennie nodded.
"Meet her,"
"Eh?"
Jennie's eyes widened in surprise. "I should? Isn't it dangerous to my mental health?"
"It will be up to you, Jennie. As I say, don't let your emotions control you, control it instead." Dr. In-ah paused. "I suggest you to meet her and come back here once you do. Let's talk about it,"
Jennie did what Dr. In-ah said and drove her way to SKN Hospital.
Upon her arrival, she went to the reception and asked for Lisa's name.
"The patient just got discharged. It wasn't a serious injury," the nurse said.
"Okay thanks,"
She head out of the hospital and luckily ran into Jisoo. She called on the latter's name.
"Jennieyah! What are you doing here?" Jisoo said uncomfortably.
"I need to see someone," She said.
"What do you mean? Who?"
"I was the one who sent you the text message," Jennie admitted and Jisoo gasped in surprise.
"What!? How did you know that Lisa got into an accident?"
"Long story,"
Jisoo squinted her eyes at Jennie, she already knew about the reason of Lisa's minor accident. "Wait a minute. Are you the driver whom Lisa chased??"
"Yes,"
"Whaat!? Do you know that she has this friend police captain who's investigating that unknown number and your car's plate number?" Jisoo scolded.
"If that's the case then here I am. I am turning myself in," Jennie joked.
"Ha-ha. But how did you find Lisa?"
"I saw you, Park Bo-gum, and her in the restaurant before," Jennie said.
"You did? And you didn't tell me?"
"You're one to say. You didn't even tell me,"
Jisoo rolled her eyes. "Because I am worried about you,"
"Come on, Jisoo. Stop treating me as someone crippled by something. That's the reason why I am here. I need to see Lisa," Jennie said with pure dedication but deep inside she's nervous.
"She just left with Bam," Jisoo answered.
'Bam? Not even her fiancé?" Jennie thought.
"Oh it can't be. Do you know where she lives?" Jennie asked, however, Jisoo doesn't know Lisa's abode. The latter kept it a secret, says it's for everybody's safety, clearly she's up to something.
"How about a phone number?"
"I don't have any. She didn't give me one, I can only reach her through Park Bo-gum," Jisoo answered.
"What!? What is he her secretary?" Jennie annoyingly groaned.
"No idea, but I can call Bo-gumi now." Jisoo offered but Jennie declined.
"Nevermind. I'll let fate do its own thing," Jennie said.
"Huh?"
Jennie get inside her car, driving her way to her psychiatrist again.
_
After a talk with her psychiatrist she head back home. As nearing to her roll-up garage, she saw a car parked in front of her gate.
She got off the car and someone disembark from the other car too.
It's Lisa with a crutch on her left. She closed the car door behind and stared long at Jennie.
Jennie stopped on her tracks upon seeing Lisa in front of her. Lisa looked at the car's plate number and back to Jennie.
'Fate is quick,' Jennie thought to herself.
"Jennie," Lisa approached Jennie's direction slowly while supported by a left crutch.
"So you're the one who I've been chasing for," Lisa said as she's nearing to Jennie by 2 meters.
"What are you doing here?" Jennie said in a firm tone.
"My friend checked something and found out that the plate number is registered under your name," Lisa said.
"Why? Are they going to arrest me now? Are you suing me?"
Lisa smiled warmly and shook her head in disagreement. "I wouldn't. That's why I'm here because I want to ask you something,"
"Ask away, Lisa. I'm a busy woman,"
"Yeah, I figured." Lisa frowned and pursed her lips.
"Why were you in front of my house, Jennie?" Lisa asked in an amiable manner.
Jennie tightened her grip of her car keys in her hand.
"What do you care about it?" She responded, hoping her walls won't break as she spent years building it.
"Jennie you know you're involved with something that happened years ago," Lisa mentioned and Jennie knew what Lisa is trying to imply. "Jennie if you're in front of my house because of something, please just back off," Lisa said softly, she said almost in a plea.
Jennie knitted her brows as she's starting to get confused.
"What are you trying to say, Lisa? Please be straight to the point," Jennie said calmly. She grips unto something everytime she gets nervous and this time, she didn't.
"I can only get an answer from you Jennie. I can't just jump into conclusion," Jennie scoffed and smirked. "Please tell me, why were you in front of my house?"
Jennie got engulfed with silence and walked away. Lisa chased her, getting it hard to do it since her left leg is supported by a crutch.
"Jennie please talk to me!" Lisa yelled, loud enough for Jennie to hear. The latter stopped from walking and turned back to face Lisa's direction - who's still making small steps towards Jennie.
"I got to be honest with you. I stopped in front of your house because it was a habit of mine when you were gone," She gripped the car keys in her hand and held back her tears. Lisa stopped advancing in surprise as Jennie continues to talk.
"You left me and didn't even let me finish talk." Jennie took a deep breath. "I was there for you and much willing to be there for you whatever happens because back then I thought we got this together," Lisa just stared at her while venting.
"I know and I was stupid. I was mad at you too," Lisa exclaimed.
"But why? What are you even mad about, Lisa? What did I do?" She asked, she doesn't know how long she has been gripping the car key.
"You were with my brother a lot of times and didn't even tell me about it,"
"I admit I was wrong in that part, Lisa but you didn't even warn me about it when you knew I met with him!" They're almost yelling, as what both of their hearts wanted.
Communication.
"I have a lot of things in mind, Jennie!"
"So do I! But did you even ask me how I was? Did you even care? Or you were wrapped with anger towards your brother, jeopardizing our relationship,"
"YOU KEPT ME A SECRET!" Lisa yelled as tears started to fall from her eyes.
"I wasn't ready and you said you understand,"
"Why are we even having this conversation. This is unnecessary," Lisa wiped her tears and sniffed as her nose begins to be runny because of the tears.
"This is why we can't be together. You suck at communicating," Jennie spat and headed inside her house, leaving Lisa agonizing the words she just heard.