Enjoy! This Chapter is a little hectic so tell me what you think at the end.
Chapter 29: Possibly
"Here are your drinks, I'll be back to get your food." I served a table their drinks and walked away with a smile.
I was tired, my feet hurt, and I was hungry. Ever since I came back to London jetlag has been hitting me hard. However I'm working through it, because at the end of this month, I'm going back home for good.
School will be over and summer will be here. I've went over my plan a thousand times with different people, and I know that I'm for sure I want this. I have no doubt in my mind that I want to come back home and live with Aiden. Whatever continues to happen with us, I hope it's together and I'm happy. I've loved all the opportunities I've gotten here and the change in my life that actually brought me back to where I need to be. In Aiden's arms.
Sara helped me bring out the food for the big family that sat at a big table. "Alright guys, here we go." I placed their food down and asked if they needed something else. Lunch Hour was almost about over and the place would quiet down until the night time where the bar comes out and singers perform. I come around the counter close to John and put my head down.
"What time is it?"
John rubs my back, "A quarter to one, look at the new girl."
I pick up my head to see the new girl with blonde hair cleaning off tables. She had blue eyes, a sporty look, and her name tag said Jasmine.
"I thought you were talking to that one guy what was his name? Ryan?"
John shakes his head. "Not anymore, I'll tell you later on what happened, but you think she likes guys? Because I'm getting a gay vibe from her." I shake my head and stand up. "I'm going to get my last table and go on break."
I took my tired feet to the back and removed my apron. Sara met me in the back and was going over paperwork. I knock on her door lightly, "I'm taking my break."
She turns in her seat and smiles. "Okay, did you still want me to make you that burger for lunch?" I had forgotten I asked her when I came in if she could make me a meal off of the menu. I had forgot to pack me one, and ended up coming here with no lunch.
"Sure if you still don't mind." Sara shakes her head. "I don't, love." She gets up and I watch her make the burger.
It was one of the big burgers, and as tired as I was, hunger was outweighing that. I sat done as she finished and thanked her for making me the burger. "No problem, love."
She began to walk off, but I stopped her. "Sara?" She raises a brow.
"I'm going to miss you. You know when I leave." I had already put in my notice about leaving and estimated around the time I was to leave and move back home.
She gave me a sad face. "I'm going to miss you too, love. You were a massive help when we needed it." I smile, giving her a hug.
"Enough of all that mushy stuff," She laughed. "I'm going to get back to paper work."
~~~
"Hey Nia, love wake up."
I sit up, dazed. I open my eyes and see John standing in front of me. "Is my break over?" I rub the sleep out of my eyes. "It was over ten minutes ago, but you looked so peaceful sleeping, I couldn't wake you up."
I look at the clock. "Ten minutes ago, John you should have just woke me up. Damnit."I rush to get my apron back on.
"Stop it Nia. Don't worry about it,"
"Are you okay?" He asked.
I nod, fix my hair. "Yeah I just needed a nap. I think the jetlag is still getting to me."
John laughs, "Honey it's been a week." I turn around as he grabs my empty plate that had my big burger was on. I usually am not able to eat all the big burger without cutting it in half.
"Is it a slow day? Is that why you hesitated to wake me up?" He nods as he grabbed a drink from the employee refrigerator. "Yes and Jasmine and I were out there having a moment. I didn't want you to come out, just in case she saw how hot you are and confirmed my suspicion."
I laughed at how ridiculous he was. "Do you want me to just ask her? Like slip it in there?" His eyes brighten, "You would do that for me?" I chuckle, nodding. "Yes I would John. You just let me sleep for ten more minutes after my break. I'd do anything." He smiles. "Well then yeah. Go ask her. I'll be back here wondering if I'm getting laid tonight."
I shake my head. "Oh and Nia?" I stop, looking back at him. "Yeah?"
He opens his mouth like he was about to say something, but just shakes his head. "Never mind." I cover my mouth as I yawn, "Okay, I'm going to go."
~~~
I get off work and I drive to the nearest gas station. I pick up a drink and some candy as well on my home. It starts to rain, putting a damper on my content mood.
The whole time I was with Aiden in Arizona, it didn't rain one bit. Being there only reminded me that I got back the man I've loved for the last two years and my family and friends that need me, just as much as I need them.
I unlock the door to the dorm and see Piper marking on her big calendar that hung up on the wall. I come in and set my stuff down. "What day is it?" I ask, sitting on the bed.
"May fourth."
I get out some of the school work I still had to finish and began on that. School has been hard, but I was glad that I came here. When I informed Mr. Jones that I was leaving he told me that Mr. Hillman had a spot open for a summer internship, and he wanted me to take it. I reminded him about my leaving, but he disregarded that, saying that Mr. Hillman had associates in America and would contact me.
I was grateful that he believed in me even overseas.
I googled the Publishing site that I remembered Mr. Jones said Mr. Hillman owned. I looked through the site and was fascinated by all the authors and awards they received for their work.
I glanced over my unfinished work and frowned. I was getting distracted by this and Piper's conversation with Ellie. They were on the phone and I couldn't concentrate. I had already strayed from my work by getting on the computer; she wasn't making it any better by being loud. My candy was gone, my drink was almost gone as well, and I couldn't get my work done.
I tug on my hair and groan. "Piper I love you, but you have got to be quieter so I can focus." I shut off my computer, trying to get back to work. She stops and looks at me, and I immediately feel bad.
"I'm sorry Piper, I didn't mean—"Nia are you okay?" She interrupted me.
I sigh, "Yes. I didn't mean to snap at you."
She shakes her head. "No it's okay," She stands up. "Nia can I ask you something?"
I throw away my empty candy box and look at her. "Yeah, what's up?" I was agitated by myself, because my work isn't done.
"Nia are you—are you pregnant?"
I step back, shocked she would ask me that.
"What? N-no I think I would know if I was pregnant Piper."
She ends her call and sits back down. "Nia you're acting like my best friend when she got pregnant. You've been like this for a week. Moody, I've had to wake you up for school like three times already when you usually get up before me, you've been eating more, like things you usually wouldn't it, and I'm pretty sure when you got back, you were glowing. You had morning sex didn't you?"
I start sweating, because damn she was right. Aiden and I did have sex before I left.
"I think I would know if I was pregnant." I repeated again. Even I know she could be right.
"It's okay Nia. When is the last time you had your period?" I shake my head furiously, starting to sweat bullets. "I-I don't know, I don't know." I couldn't focus to remember the last time I had it. My head started to pound as I tried to slow my heart. It wasn't working, "Nia calm down!" Piper grabbed my shoulders.
She was right.
The whole time last week I remembered being moody. I remembering wanted Chinese food and a smoothie together. I remembered getting mad at John. And I remember crying about how lonely I felt without Aiden. I couldn't stop the swell of my face as the want to cry came over me. I ran to the bathroom, needing to pee and cry at the same time.
Piper knocks on the door, "Nia it's okay. You love Aiden and he loves you. I've seen it. The way he looks at you and the way you look at him. I'm sure you'll be able to handle another kid."
I shake my head, watching the tears from my eyes fall on my legs. "I do. I love him, but I c-can't have a baby right now Piper. Hope is enough; we can't handle Alexander and Nicholas right now."
I heard Piper laugh, "Who?"
I wipe my nose. "I had a dream once that Aiden and I had twins."
I get up and open the door for her. "Piper I can't have a baby right now. I'm not finished with school just yet or do I make enough money as Aiden that won't have us living from paycheck to paycheck. I'm also another continent away! He's all the way in America and I'm here, away from him, but possibly carrying his second child." I fall on my bed.
Everything was running through my head right now. I felt like I was going to throw up, which didn't help the symptoms that I supposedly had that gave me the sign that I was pregnant. "I get my check on Friday. Will you come with me to get a test?" The thought of that made this all so real. Piper pats my back, "Of course. You just tell me when you wanna go." I spring up from the bed.
"Do you think I should tell Aiden now even though I have no assurance that I have a biracial child inside me?" Piper shrugs, providing me with no help. "You do whatever feels right, love. I'm going to give you some privacy." She leaves the room, letting my thoughts consume me on full force. The first thing I feel isn't happiness.
God this is supposed to be a happy moment for people like me.
People who are in a stable relationship with the love of their life are supposed to be happy when they possibly have the chance to birth a child made by the two of them.
I couldn't help but feel bad that I didn't.
I'm twenty-one and still in my first year of college. I at least expected to be married first, then kids later. It wasn't a standard, but it would have been nice to go in order like that. I love Aiden so much, and he is probably going to be thrilled that I could possibly be having his baby. But he already has one.
Oh my gosh is this how Drew felt? Or was she instantly prepared to lay down her life to the child she eventually died giving birth to?
Would I be like that?
Would I immediately know what to do?
Will Aiden be able to experience that long process again that only ended with his daughter not having a mother?
Will he be happy?
Thoughts like that spun around in my brain until I couldn't take it anymore.
I dialed Aiden's number and waited for him to answer. "Hey um I may be pregnant with your baby. I'm in another continent and I won't be back until the end of May. You're going to miss the first month of the pregnancy, but it's okay. I'll keep you updated over Skype." I said as four long rings sounded.
"Hey it's Aiden. Sorry you—"Damnit." I cursed myself.
For not remembering what time it was over there, for not remembering to take my pill, for not thinking about the consequences.
What was he doing that he couldn't answer my call? It was urgent and I don't get an answer.
I need to take a walk. I need to go outside and clear my head.
I open the door and run outside. As I make my way down the stairs, I turn the corner and run into someone. They catch me in their arms. Arms that I recognize. "Nia?" A deep accent said my name.
I look up and see Kain. I try to run away, but he grabs my arms.
"Nia stop. What is wrong?"
I shake my head. I needed to be alone.
"I-I may be pre—"Spit it out love! Tell me what is wrong." He demands. "I may be pregnant Kain!" I yelled. His face drops and I regret even saying anything. "I may be pregnant. Is that what you wanted to hear?" He lets me go, with that look still on his face. "With Aiden's baby?"
I rub at my arms. "Yes, he's the only guy I've ever been with expect you."
He looks me up and down, probably staring at my stomach and imagining a big baby bump like I had.
"I don't know what to say." He said, suddenly sounding angry.
"You don't have to say anything."
He looks me right in the eyes. "Am I supposed to feel happy for you that you finally got him back? That you got the love of your life back, when I feel like I've lost mine?"
I shake my head, "Stop. Please stop, Kain I can't explain—"Then don't. I don't wanna hear it." He snapped.
I stepped back. "Fine." I turn away and walk off from him.
~~~
Later on that night, after clearing my head and finally calming down, I tried hard to wrap my mind around everything. I had to wait whole week to know for sure whether I was pregnant or not. The whole torturing week would come to an end when I finally found out the truth. I wanted to know now, but I didn't have the money or time to get a test right now. I needed to go back and finish my work. And I needed to have Aiden call me back.
I searched for my phone, and kicked a rock when I remembered that I left it back at the dorm.
I didn't stray so far, so I jogged back. I go back inside and Piper offers me some food. "I got some food. I didn't know what you wanted, and I know this probably isn't what you want, but if you are pregnant then you need to nurture that baby of yours." I accept the chicken nugget she held out for me. "Did Aiden call me back?" She nods, "Yes. Multiple times. I didn't answer, because I didn't know what to say." Just as she was about to say that my phone vibrates, I pick it up, answering the call.
"Nia I've called you five times already. You didn't answer so I thought something was wrong, that you got taken or some crazy shit that goes on in London. What is wrong?" I sit on back bed, pondering if I should speak.
"I-I just missed you." I said.
"I missed you too baby, but I know there's something else. I can feel it."
Piper mouths to me, "Tell him."
"Nia come on. You're scaring me."
I sigh, "I could be wrong, but I haven't had my period in about two weeks,"
When he doesn't reply right away, I knew my answer about his reaction.
"I know the circumstances right now, but I'm going to be back there in a month. If it's true and I am pregnant, then I will keep you updated. I will make sure to tell you about any appointments I have and everything I get to make it less difficult for things right now."
I wait for his reply.
"Nia, wow. I need to register this in my head. Did you not take your pill?" I don't answer, and I think he knew why, because I heard him curse. "Shit Nia. You should have told me you didn't take it. I would have made us wear protection. I would have—"I know, and I didn't think about it at the time, but I—"Nia I can't—we can't—Damnit can I call you back? I just wasn't expecting you to say that."
I stop, not knowing what to say. He was as surprised and worried as I was, which is not what I expected. "Uh yeah. I know how you feel. I was worried for the past hour about it too. Just call me back." I told him. He agrees and hangs up.
I look up at Piper. "I'll just have to wait for him to call back."
~~~
And that's what I did. I sat in the hot bath, soaking my body and trying to relax from a stressful day. He hasn't called back and it's been thirty minutes. I had no idea what going through his head, and mine stopped wondering when he didn't call back in the first ten minutes. I anxiously waited for my phone to vibrate, and to hear John Legend's All of Me to play as the ringtone.
I look down at my stomach and think imagine the swell of the child which could be possibly inside of me deform my body starting now. I laugh, a stressed out laugh that turns into more. The laugh turns into frustrated looks and then to happy smiling. The idea dawned on me that I could possibly be having Aiden's baby.
I laugh out of happiness now.
I could possibly be pregnant.
I hope Aiden is having this epiphany moment as well. And that he will be has weirdly happy as I am now, and tell me that we will work this out.
I snatch up my phone off the floor when I hear All of Me. "Hello?"
"I know it's going to be hard, and crazy, but if you are pregnant, then yes I'm sure we can fully work it out. Hope is going to be one in about five months, so it won't be that bad. You can get a job down here like the one you have there to bring in extra money. I'm sure everyone will be excited just as much as I am" I laughed, feeling joy rush through me.
"Aiden I love you. I know this is going to be hard, but I wouldn't want to do it with anyone else. I wasn't happy at first, but I can learn to be a mother to two kids at a time If that's what it comes to. I get paid on Friday, so I'm going to buy a test to see if I'm right. I'll call you throughout the week to let you know how I'm doing." He agrees and wishes me a good night. Sleep was trying to claim me quickly as I got out the tub. I lay peacefully on my pillow and wonder how this was all going to work out.
I don't really have any questions so just comment what you thought. :) Until Next Time!