Chapter Seven (Alexius)
"Do not come to my tent when I am absent."
The sentence came out far harsher than I intended. Having spoken to Killian earlier had fired me up, boiled my blood so hot that it was making me sweat. Rage surged to the surface and I could feel it prickling my fingertips, making my mouth dry.
And I had in turn took that rage out on Ana, who flinched at my words.
"My apologizes, General Alexius. I simply wanted to make sure your things were clean and set and--"
"I don't care," I interrupted her sharply, stepping back as she finished the last strap of my armor, "Do not come in here when I am not here. The only acceptable time is to drop off my armor after my meals. And you can only do that. Do not touch any of my things, just put my armor back and leave."
"Yes, of course, as you wish." Ana bowed lowly in apology before stepping out. I could see the tears in her eyes and, much to my surprise, I felt a sharp pang in my chest that caused all my anger and hate to dissipate. I hadn't meant to take it out on Ana. My conversation with Killian had merely boiled my blood to the point where I almost didn't want to wait to kill my race. I had been cruel to Ana.
Do not feel guilty, a voice in the back of my head scolded. Ana was a servant. She made a mistake and she should know better... Yes, a servant, though. She was hired to do only what I said, when I said. She had no choice. And yet, I still didn't trust her. I didn't know her well enough to be around my things, my space.
I sighed in frustration, adjusting my armor. It was only the bottom layer with the buckles and chainmail, though. I wouldn't need my full armor today if we'd merely be training and sparring. No, I wouldn't even need it for that. I would be sure not to receive a single hit. I took my belt back out, hoisting it around my waist as I grabbed my shuriken and sword. I hid the daggers just under my chainmail before emerging from my tent. A few men rushed by, laughing and making jokes about their commander.
It was a mild irritation. Should I hear about any gossip involving myself, I'd take my time cutting tongues out one by one. I'd had enough of rumors. I wasn't going to put up with it here.
I walked down the path toward the training fields where a couple units were already positioned. The archery unit was in their usual place, firing off arrows at X-ed out dummies. A few teams were sparring with swords or hand-to-hand. I walked around the fields to find my unit waiting in neat lines for me. Remi and Soterios looked up to see me, bowing low in greeting.
"We're ready when you are, General Alexius." Remi said. I nodded to him, then scanned the group of men. They'd gone from the joking, obnoxious bunch in the dining tent to stiff, calm soldiers awaiting orders. This pleased me more than it should. And honestly, I wasn't sure what to do. I'd read hundreds of books over the years on battle and strategy. Both fiction and non-fiction, descriptive and detailed of how such things were supposed to be.
And yet, right now, watching them, I wasn't sure what to do. I glanced at Remi, who studied me. I could see the flicker in his eyes and it seemed he understood what was going through my mind. Something that was both relieving, yet unnerving. I watched Remi turn to the group.
"We will show General Alexius our usual set up. So don't waste any time. Chop, chop. Grab a partner and beginning sparring. Swords only." Remi announced. The men seemed reluctant, but obeyed anyway as they turned to the person beside them. They put enough space between each team before the men withdrew their swords. Swords of all kinds. Some shorter than others, some different styles, different colors, shapes. It was outstanding. Part of me simply wanted to sit back and watch, but I forced myself to keep my guard up, standing with my arms folded over my chest as they began on Remi's command.
Soon, the air was filled with the clanging and clashing of swords. The sound of metal beating metal, breathes coming out in quick gasps. Boots and sneakers tore through the grass and dirt, bodies twisting and dodging, arms thrusting out and about. The men were all highly skilled and I found myself envious.
I had only ever trained by myself. I'd never had a sparring partner. And the times I was attacked by villagers or neighbors, I only fought until they cheated or ganged up on me or even fled. It wasn't much of a workout.
My fingers twitched, my muscles tensing and jerking under my skin. I wanted so badly to grip a sword in my hand, to listen to it clash against someone else's. Even if it wasn't a serious battle. What would it be like to spar with someone? To have rivals and friends?
I could easily see it with some of the men here. Most tried to remain serious, though, there was the occasional team that would laugh or grin as they parried or struck a point against their opponent's armor. Some would taunt, others encourage.
It was also interesting to watch Remi and Soterios train together. Remi moved swiftly, gracefully. I wasn't surprised given he was an elf. They were known for being particularly quick. They treated swordfighting as a dance. The way Remi's feet moved quick across the ground, his body twisted in ways that even made me grimace. Soterios was more about strength. He slammed his sword hard against Remi's, gritting his teeth. His muscles bulged and flexed as he swung his arm back, bringing it forward. Remi ducked low and swung his leg out to knock Soterios feet out from under him, but Soterios was prepared for that and leapt over them.
They had definitely seen battle before, I recognized. These men were fully prepared for battle... Was I?
The question hung like a heavy chain around my throat. Was I ready to fight strangers? Could I really take someone else's life? Could I plunge my sword through their heart and watch them fall before moving onto the next person as if it were some kind of game? I'd never killed anyone in my entire life. How could I kill someone?
Don't think like that.If I didn't kill anyone in a battle, how could I kill the people who ruined me?
Thinking about them made my blood hot again. It made my mouth water for vengeance and I suddenly didn't care who I had to kill, so long as I got to the people who ruined my life, the people who forced me to hide in my own home to escape their cruelty.
"Calm down," Killian's voice snapped me out of my daydream, "You look like you're about to destroy someone." I frowned, turning my head to see him approaching me, wearing the bottom layer of his armor as I was. His seemed slightly tighter on him, but I suppose he liked it like that as he didn't seem too bothered by it. He rested his hand on the handle of his sleek black sword before he came to a stop beside me, following my eyes to the men that were still in training. Thankfully, they hadn't noticed my sudden change in attitude. Or at least, if they did, they didn't show it.
"You look itching for a fight," Killian pointed out calmly, watching my men, making me frown and glance at him before he turned to face me, "Would you like to spar? My men are currently busy as well and it would be nice if I got some practice. I'm a tad bit rusty." I cocked my head at him curiously. He was such an odd man. Why was he becoming so friendly with me? Did he want to sleep with me? If so, why didn't he just ask? He'd probably provide me with more nourishment than a mere human.
But then, even I didn't want to turn down his offer. I needed something like this. I wanted to train with someone. I was tired of sitting things out all the time. It was time I did something. I was a general that was supposed to lead an army into battle. I needed practice.
"Aye," I agreed, "I could use some practice." Killian smiled, much to my surprise. There was nothing sexual or manipulative about it. A clean cut friendly smile from one comrade to another. I almost craved another, but withheld myself as Killian and I stepped off to the side to get some room.
"I'll try not to hurt you." Killian added. At first, I thought he was mocking me, but I could see the smile on his face and realized he was only teasing me. Teasing me. He teased me, as if I were just another friend or comrade. I found myself aching for more as I withdrew my sword from its sheath and Killian did the same, getting into a firm stance with his feet planted to the ground, sword held at the ready. I did the same, watching him intently.
"Likewise." I told him. He smiled, then lunged at me first, thrusting his sword at me before I swung mine around to smack his away. He went at me again, but I parried and dodged, spinning around sharply and bringing my sword around with me, but he blocked me and slid his blade against mine toward my chest, but I kicked my foot out into his gut. He winced and stumbled back.
I could feel my blood pumping through my veins excitedly, fueling my adrenaline. I suddenly felt more alert. I could hear and see things so much better. I noticed the way Killian's muscles flexed and his jaw tensed, his black ponytail whipping around behind him as he went at me again. I anticipated his next move and ducked the wide swipe of his sword, moving to thrust my sword at him, but he pushed off the ground and flipped through the air. I watched in momentary awe as his strength and flexibility as he sailed through the air and landed in a crouch like a cat.
He came at me again, and again, and again, but each time, I managed to parry and counter each of his moves. I went at him, hoping to get at least a nick his skin or chink his armor, but he was too fast. It was when he lunged closer to me, intending to grab my wrist and disable me when I saw the flash of fangs in his mouth. My eyes widened and I ducked back, rolling across the grass before whirling around to swing my blade against his back, but he brought his sword up in time to block me, his eyes flickering.
"You're a vampyre." I accused. Killian gave me another one of his friendly smiles, hardly looking offended.
"I believe your word was aye." He responded. I swung my sword back and slammed it at him again, but he blocked and slid our blades together before suddenly pushing so hard that I stumbled and he swung his foot around, knocking me off balance so I ended up on my back on the ground. He went to bring his sword around to point at my throat, but I drew my legs up and kicked him hard in the gut again so he gasped in surprise, stumbling away again to catch his breath. I flipped myself onto my feet and lunged at him, but he ducked and dodged. He managed to avoid most of my strokes as he tried to catch his breath again before he swung his sword around at my head, but I threw my sword up to block him.
"You're pretty good. You must practice a lot at home." Killian commented, eyeing me. Suspicion coiled inside me at that. Why would he say that? I could easily practice somewhere else. No, that wasn't the point. It was just something odd to bring up in the middle of a fight. Why would he say something like that?
I soon figured out why as Killian jammed his knee in behind one of mine, causing me to wince and hiss past clenched teeth, collapsing to one knee. I quickly tore myself back up, whirling around before going absolutely still to face the point of Killian's sword. I blinked, then lifted my eyes to lock with Killian's as he stared back at me, raising an eyebrow.
"You shouldn't be distracted by words, Alexius. They could get you killed." He advised, lowering his sword. I glared at him, clenching my grip on mine.
"No one is going to ask me personal things in order to defeat me." I snapped in irritation. Killian seemed surprised at that, but didn't let it go like I thought he would.
"We'll be fighting other demons, Alexius. Other creatures. We may even end up fighting the gods themselves. They will use anything and everything to make sure you fall on your knees." He explained calmly. I scowled, but I had to admit he was right. I'd read plenty about that and the fact that I momentarily forget made me want to kick myself.
"But you did very well," Killian went on, making me look at him with a frown, "It was fun. I haven't had this much fun in a while and seeing as we're training for deadly battles that could kill us, I'm glad I had the chance. I should hope we'll be able to share time like this again." I studied him suspiciously. I still couldn't shake the uneasiness inside me. Why was I so attracted to him?
Well, physically he was attractive. He made my hormones burn, my blood sizzle, and my groin tighten-- not a very fun experience while wearing armor, I soon discovered. And yet, it wasn't just his physical attractive. While we may have just met, his personality was so brilliant and alluring. He was friendly and kind, courteous. He was intelligent and powerful. He was wise too. All of these and so much more drew me into him.
And that's what made me suspicious.
Why was he like this towards me? No one acted this way toward me. Was he really too shy to ask me to sleep with him? There was only one way to find out.
"If you want to have sex with me, you just need to ask." I deadpanned. To my surprise, Killian blushed hard, color filling his cheeks all the way to the tips of his ears as he cleared his throat.
"I most certainly do not sleep with strangers." He answered stiffly. I frowned curiously at that. So, he didn't to sleep with me? How was that possible? Surely he was attracted me. It was extremely rare to find someone who wasn't. In fact, the only people who didn't find me attractive were the people of my race. They thought of me as revolting. Other creatures, humans, gods even, found me attractive... And yet, Killian didn't?
"So, you wouldn't sleep with me?" I asked, confused. Now Killian looked confused.
"Well, I don't think so. We've just met. I would like to get to know you before sleeping with you, isn't that natural?" He asked. I raised an eyebrow and gave him a droll stare.
"No." I stated. Killian looked offended now as he sheathed his sword and folded his arms firmly over his chest.
"I'm not going to throw myself at the first person who attracts my attention. You're mocking me."
"I am not."
"You are. You think I'll just sleep with anyone who happens to wander by."
"Yes--"
"Well, for your information, I prefer to know my lover before I bed them. So you'll have to excuse me for not being extremely old-fashioned," Killian retorted in annoyance, placing a hand on his hip, "Anyway, I think we're done here. I'll see you at dinner. Later." He turned and went back to his men, barking orders for them to cease their sparring and begin stretching for an afternoon jog. I frowned in confusion, watching Killian walk away with his group, not even looking back at me.
I don't understand what just happened.
Was he angry with me?
What could he possibly be angry about? I hadn't done anything wrong. I was just stating facts. And since when did anyone care who they were having sex with? I'd been with plenty of women and men that couldn't care less what I was doing in their dream, so long as I pleased them. They never once asked my name or spoke the sweet nothings I'd read about in romance novels.
Sex was just an animalistic need. Well, mostly. There was on other meaning behind it for me and that was food. I fed off sex. It kept me sustained, alive, functioning.
So why the bloody hell did he get so offended?
I don't understand.
"General Alexius." I blinked and looked up to see Remi looking at me curiously as he approached me, reeking of sweat that ran down his temples and stained his clothes. He reached up to wipe his arm across his sweaty forehead before looking at me.
"Would you like to join us for more exercises?" He asked. Now that was an odd question. No, more like a question that I wasn't accustomed to. I merely nodded, though, and Remi smiled before he called to the other men that we would begin our afternoon stretching before we practiced with the swords, mostly aiming at invisible partners in time.
And I still couldn't shake off Killian's reaction to me and my question.
Wasn't that what he wanted? To have sex with me?
If not, then what did he even want me for?