After a long, hard day of training, you and your Squad made your way back to HQ. Isabella and Jodi were a few feet behind you, dragging their feet from exhaustion. August and Hunter took their places next to you, but still walked at least a foot behind you.
When you emerged from the tree line, most people were already inside. You looked to your left, smiling when you saw Levi leaning against a tree, waiting for you.
You turned around to address your Squad. "Good work today, guys," you stated. "Go get something to eat, and you're free for the rest of the evening."
"Yes, Captain." They all saluted and made their way into the building.
When you turned around again, Levi was just a few feet away from you. Without hesitation, you took a step forward, meeting him halfway. He wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you off the ground. You wrapped your legs around his back, then pressed your lips against his.
He kissed you for a few moments, gentle and slow. You ran your fingers through his hair, slightly tugging at the strands. Levi hummed against your lips, and you pulled away slightly when he started to walk back into the forest, still holding you in his arms.
"Where are we going?" you breathed in between kisses, unable to get enough of him.
Levi didn't respond. When he knew that your were far enough into the forest, to the point where you wouldn't be seen, he pressed you up against a tree. You gasped into the kiss, shocked that Levi was doing this.
"Levi," you panted. "What-"
Levi's lips went to your neck, and you threw your head back into the bark of the tree with a soft thump.
He sucked and kissed at your skin, earning a few gasps from you. Hange was expecting you any minute to explain the rest of the plan, and this was what he decided to do?
In a way, you understood. You and Levi had been in each other's arms nonstop for two weeks. Of course he wanted to touch you and feel you. It was pure instinct for him to be close to you by now.
Levi hummed against your skin, making you tighten your legs around him, holding him closer to your body. Your hands roamed his back, his shoulders, his hair. You had to hold something to anchor yourself, to keep you grounded so you wouldn't lose control.
His lips came back to yours, his tongue pushing past your lips while his fingers dug into your skin. It was getting harder and harder to control yourself, but eventually, you knew you had to pull away.
When you pulled back to get some air, Levi pecked your lips a few more times before finally resting his forehead against yours, catching his breath.
"What was that for?" you asked after your breathing returned to normal.
Levi shrugged, then pecked your lips again.
"Levi!" You started to laugh when he peppered kisses all over your face, tickling your skin. He must've really missed you.
After a few more kisses to your cheek, Levi pulled away and gently placed you back on the ground. Your stomach was in knots, and it took everything in you to not fall flat on your face. Levi placed his hands on your hips, steadying you.
"You okay?" he asked, a stupid smirk displayed on his face. He knew exactly what he was doing.
"Fine," you grumbled, swatting his hands away, annoyed that he was amused.
Levi chuckled as you stormed away, in the direction of HQ. He walked to catch up with you, then snaked his arm around your waist and pressed a kiss to the side of your head. Your demeanour completely softened, and you turned your head to kiss his shoulder.
With Levi's arm wrapped securely around you, you walked the rest of the way to HQ.
¤¤¤¤
When you got to Hange's office, Levi's arm was still wrapped around you. You knocked on the door with your knuckles, then walked in.
Hange was at her desk, writing something down on a piece of paper. She glanced up at you, then smiled.
"Hey, guys," she said. "Take a seat."
You and Levi sat in front of her desk, and she put her pen down, adjusting her glasses.
"You okay?" you asked, genuinely concerned for her.
"Yeah." She rubbed her eye. "Just a little tired."
"You didn't rest at all?" Levi raised an eyebrow at her, annoyed that she was overworking herself.
Hange sighed. "No, I... I just needed to get the rest of the plan finished first. I promise I'll get some rest tonight." She smiled at you, and you relaxed, knowing she was telling the truth. "Alright, then..." Hange took a deep breath. "After we get back from the attack on Marley, Zeke will be in our custody. Eren's entrusted everything to him." She turned to Levi. "Levi, since you've fought him before, I want you to take him to the Forest of Giant Trees to keep a close eye on him. You'll have thirty other Scouts with you to help if you need it." Hange faced you now. "Y/N, I want you to go with Levi and-"
"No."
Your eyes widened and your head snapped to the side to look at Levi.
Did he just...?
Levi crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back in his chair. "She's not going."
Hange opened and closed her mouth multiple times, trying to think of something to say. She looked between you two. Levi was looking as bored as ever, while you were starting to get angry.
"What?" you asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
He huffed. "She's not going with me, Hange." Levi completely ignored you and started to rise from his seat. "She's staying here with you. I can handle this myself."
You were in so much shock that you didn't even register Levi walking across the room and out the door.
A few seconds of silence passed before Hange spoke up. "What was that about?" she asked, looking towards you with concern.
You slid down in your chair, practically laying in it. "I have no idea."
You were so confused. Levi would potentially be in that forest for months, and he wouldn't want you to be there with him? Why not?
Hange sighed and ribbed her forehead. "Well, the choice is obviously yours. Don't listen to that shorty."
You laughed and closed your eyes, happy that she was giving you a choice. "Thanks, Hange. I need to talk to him first, though."
Hange nodded. Then, you both started going over all the plans a few more times. She helped you come up with a formation for your Squad, since you were still quite nervous about fighting in Marley. Sure, you'd been there once before about a year ago, but... you never thought you'd actually be fighting. Eren left so suddenly that day, and it was a shock to you all. Part of you was angry with him for putting you through this, but you still saw him as that naive teenager you'd met over five years ago. You just hoped that he wouldn't do anything too extreme. You still wanted an excuse to see him as the kid who used to clean just to impress Levi, as the kid who you used to joke around with when times got tough, as the kid who gave you the biggest hug at the rewards ceremony, because he thought it was his fault that you lost Erwin, and... as the kid who just wanted to follow his dreams and go beyond the walls.
After a while of thinking, you finally voiced your thoughts to Hange. She looked intently at you, her gaze soft.
"You really care for those kids, don't you?" she asked.
"Well, yeah." You shrugged sheepishly. "I... They mean so much to me," you murmured, your gazed set on the view beyond the window behind Hange. "I know you care about them, too."
Hange placed her elbows on the desk and buried her face in her hands. "I do," she sighed out. "I do, but... As Commander, I risk everyone's lives by making these plans." She gestured towards the multiple papers her desk. "A-And ever since Erwin died and left me responsible for everyone, it becomes harder and harder to lead these missions, because I know that people will lose their lives because of a decision I've made," she continued, her voice becoming weak. "It's just... if any of them get injured or lose their lives, it's immediately my fault because I'm in charge of everything. And if any of them die... I... I won't be able to forgive myself for it." She sighed and leaned back in her chair, looking up at the ceiling. "Erwin... why did you leave?" she whispered to herself. Your heart broke for her. "I can't do this on my own."
"You're not on your own," you reassured, reaching over the desk to grab her hand. "I'm right here with you."
Hange lifted her head to look at you, visibly relaxing when she met your gaze. Her eye softened and her shoulders slumped.
"It's not your fault if something goes wrong on and Expedition. No one knows what can happen out there. And all the Scouts know that you always try your best to keep everyone safe." You smiled at her. "If you ever need help, I'll always be here."
Hange looked at you with such adoration that made you think she was going to jump over the desk and tackle you into a hug. Instead, she spoke a few words that made you feel happy, despite the severity of the conversation.
"I love you."
You grinned. "I love you."
Hange leaned back in her chair and stretched a little, calmer now than she was before.
"Alright." You sighed. "I have to get home and talk to my husband," you said, then pointed to her bedroom door. "And you are going to go in there and get your ass to bed."
Hange was about to retaliate, but a yawn cut her off before she even started her sentence. Your smirked and raised an eyebrow at her, proving your point.
"Fine, " she groaned, getting up and dragging herself to her room. Before she walked in, she turned around and gave you a soft smile. "Thank you."
You nodded at her with a smile, and she walked in, closing the door softly behind her. You sighed when you looked out the window, realising it was night time. You'd have to walk home by yourself. With many questions running through your mind, you exited the office, ready to go and talk to Levi about his small outburst at the meeting earlier.
¤¤¤¤
When you walked through your front door, you saw Levi sitting on the couch, a book in his right hand while his other arm was resting against the back of the couch.
Your eye twitched. How were you supposed to stay mad at him when he looked like that?
Levi didn't acknowledge your presence. All he did was keep reading, never once looking up at you. You crossed your arms as you walked forward, stopping when you were standing a few feet away from him.
A few seconds of agonizing silence passed before Levi sighed and spoke up, still not looking at you.
"What?"
You clenched your jaw. "What was that today?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Was he serious?
You frowned at him. "What's gotten into you? Why are you being like this?"
Levi huffed and stood from his seat, ignoring you.
"Levi."
He walked towards the kitchen, still not saying a word. Now he was starting to annoy you. Did he seriously think that he didn't do anything wrong?
You followed him as he walked to the kitchen. He poured himself a glass of water, completely ignoring you.
"Why don't you want me to come with you, Levi?" you asked impatiently. "You could be gone for months."
He didn't say anything.
Now filled with anger, you slammed your hand on the counter. "Levi!"
He looked at you with shock written all over his face. Then, he went back to his usual demeanor and spoke with exasperation.
"You're not ready," he snapped.
You paused. "What?"
"You're not ready to fight him!" he growled. Your breathing got heavy as he raised his voice. But your words didn't falter. Instead, you spoke back with just as much anger.
"That's not for you to decide!"
Levi looked frustrated. "You haven't fought him before, Y/N. You don't know what he's like. If something happens to you-"
"I've handled hoards of abnormals before, Levi! I can handle-"
"No, you can't!" Levi shouted. "He's dangerous!"
Your eyes narrowed on him. Did he seriously think...?
"You're not going, Y/N!" Levi started to storm back to your bedroom.
It was as if you were in a trance, and the sound of Levi yelling at you finally snapped you out of it. You looked down at the ground, tears welding in your eyes. All your adrenaline was starting to wear off, and invasive thoughts started to rack your brain.
"Do you really think I'm that weak?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
Levi paused, then slowly turned around to look at you. His eyes wide.
"Do you really think so little of me...?" A single tear slid down your cheek, and that was all it took for Levi to storm forward and take you in his arms.
"Y/N..." he whispered. "I-"
Before he could finish, you removed yourself from his arms and brushed past him. You headed into your bedroom and shut the door softly behind you. Then, you buried your face in your hands and started to sob, your back against the door.
The sound of your muffled cries filled the room as you slid your back down the door. When you were seated on the ground, you pulled your knees into your chest, trying to get as much comfort as possible.
You didn't even know why you were crying. It could've just been the stressful situation you were in, with the upcoming mission. Or it could've been the way Levi shouted at you, or the way he thought you were weak...
Levi had a point, but it shouldn't mean that he could dictate what you could and couldn't do. You knew the Beast Titan was dangerous, but you knew you were strong. You knew you could fight him.
"Y/N..." You heard Levi's muffled voice from the other side of the door. "Y/N, please. Open the door."
You shook your head, even though he couldn't see it, your shoulders shaking violently from your cries. Levi sighed, knowing that you didn't want to speak to anyone right now, and that you wanted to be alone.
"I'll leave you alone for a little while," Levi said, and you were happy that he was respecting your wishes. "Call for me if you need me."
With that, he stood and walked away from the door, giving you space. You got up from your place on the floor and trudged over to the bed, getting under he covers and wrapping them around you.
Your head was pounding from how much you were crying, and all you wanted to do was sleep. You closed your eyes and steadied your breathing, inhaling and exhaling in even increments.
After a while, you eventually succumbed to exhaustion, your whole body relaxing as you fell into a deep slumber.
¤¤¤¤
When you woke up, it was because you heard the sound of your bedroom door opening and closing softly, then gentle footsteps padding across the room. You pulled the blanket tighter over your body and squeezed your eyes shut, not wanting to face him right now.
Levi walked over to your side of the bed and crouched next to you, moving some loose strands of hair out of your face, then leaning in to kiss your forehead.
"I'm sorry," he whispered against your skin. "Goodnight. I love you." He slowly pulled away after a few seconds and turned around, but you caught his wrist, making him look back at you. Even in the darkness, you could see dry tear stains on his pale cheeks.
Levi's features were soft as he looked at you. You sat up in the bed, swinging your legs off the side as Levi crouched in front of you again. Letting go of his wrist, you sighed as you rested your hands in your lap, playing with your fingers nervously.
"I'm sorry for shouting at you," Levi whispered eventually.
You looked down at your lap with half-lidded eyes; they were still heavy from crying so much.
A few moments of silence passed by. There were so many unsaid words lingering between the both of you, but now was the time to get them all out.
"Do..." You swallowed. "Do you really think I'm weak?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
Levi looked up at you with wide eyes. He was silent for a few seconds, so you assumed that he just didn't want to say it out loud.
You sighed, but just before you were about to turn away from him, Levi spoke up.
"No."
You looked at him, a frown on your face as he took your hands in his.
"I don't think... I know you're not weak, Y/N," Levi assured you. "Far from it, actually." He smiled comfortingly. "You're the strongest person I know."
Your breath hitched. You were so confused, so you squeezed your eyes shut, gathering your thoughts. "Then... why...?"
Levi sighed and squeezed your hands. "Y/N... I need you to listen to me."
You opened your eyes.
"Zeke is..." He shook his head. "He's extremely dangerous. You saw what he did when we retook Shiganshina."
You thought back to that time five years ago. After his fight with the Beast Titan, Levi was exhausted. He'd used up all his gas fighting him. Even though he had no physical wounds, you knew it was difficult for him.
"Y/N."
You blinked and looked at Levi again, realising that you'd just zoned out.
"I have absolutely no doubt that you wouldn't get hurt if you were up against him," he said, smiling softly up at you, but then, his face turned serious... almost... sad. "But... if anything happened to you, I..." He swallowed. "I would never forgive myself."
Your brows furrowed as you looked at him. He just didn't want you to get hurt.
"I can't..." he whispered. "I can't lose you... I need you to be safe."
You choked out a sob once you saw a single tear slide down his cheek.
He reached for you, taking you in his arms as he sat in the bed, bringing you into his lap. He squeezed you tightly, and you felt all the stress and anxiety he was feeling melt away when he had you in his arms.
This was where you always wanted to be. Safe and warm and loved in the arms of your husband. You were so tired of all this talk of going to war, or planning an attack. All you wanted to do was take Levi and keep him safe and protected from all the dangers in the world, because... he deserved it more than anyone. He'd been through so much mental anguish in his life and he needed a break. So... maybe you shouldn't...
You both cried for a while. There were so much pent up emotions that you had that just needed to be let out. Sure, you'd done a lot of crying today, but it was different when you were being held by Levi. It actually felt like you were getting better. Like your pain was being melted away just by his touch.
When your cries and sobs turned into quiet sniffles, Levi pulled away and pressed his forehead against yours.
"I love you," he said, his voice weak from crying. "And I don't want you to feel pressured into making a decision." He pressed his lips softly to yours. "It's completely up to you."
You knew he was talking about whether you wanted to stay or go with him. But you'd already made your decision.
"I don't want to be away from you, Levi," you whimpered. "But... I also don't want you to be in pain."
Levi nodded and kissed you again.
"So... I'm going to stay here."
Levi breathed a sigh and looked into your eyes.
"Are you sure?"
You nodded and leaned in to kiss him softly.
"I am. I love you." You cupped his cheek, your thumb brushing over his cheekbone.
"I love you," he whispered back. "Always."
You closed your eyes and slumped against him, completely spent. Levi adjusted you so you were both laying under the covers, facing each other. He hooked his arm around your waist while you nuzzled your face into his chest, kissing where his heart beat underneath his flesh.
And you drifted off to sleep in your husband's protective embrace.