That Wasn't Wine... - Sanders...

By Doodles_the_fander

9.5K 741 4.8K

Logan didn't think much would ever happen to him- he was just some dude working at the local theatre. That wa... More

Chapter 1: The night Logan fucked up
Chapter 2: Oh shit.
Chapter 3: Janus get punched in the face! :D!
Chapter 4: Roman my beloved
Chapter 5: Cool human ppl exist
Chapter 6: The Demus Special
Chapter 7: Someone has a crush... ๐Ÿ‘€
Chapter 8: Another Bloody Nightmare
Chapter 9: BEHOLD, A SIMP (it's Myst) (hi Myst!!!)
Chapter 10: sad boi hours
Chapter 11: THE CUTTEST FLUFF BALL EVER OMG I LOVE THIS KID SO MUCH AAAHHH
Chapter 12: A prince has to slay
Chapter 13: these ppl really need to get their shit together
Chapter 14: The stars are gay and so am I
Chapter 15: Janus will kill for his friends. He actually has!
Chapter 16: Infinitesimal
Chapter 17: *Cassually self inserts to make character more believable*
Chapter 18: That awkward moment when he hast the trauma
Chapter 19: Catboy Virgil makes an apeareance... again.
Chapter 20: Happy 1 month vampiversary mfs
Chapter 21: I ALSO WANT COTTON CANDY ๐Ÿ˜ญ
Chapter 22: The lost teenage ghost.
Chapter 23: logan fixes things up... but to what cost?
Chapter 24: Who cares about historical acuracy when the bf is hot?
Chapter 25: Logan be a Nico kinnie (they both have a crush on Percy Jackson) /hj
Chapter 26: /ITS A REVENGE PARTYYYY/ (it really aint but i love the song)
Chapter 27: Logan deserves a break. Seriously.
chapter 28: ANOTHER SIMP!!? (this time is my beloved) (Hi Eden!!!)
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (not a chapter)(qna)
ANSWERS TO QNA
Chapter 29: Axolotl Playtime
Chapter 30: the Princey special
Chapter 31: *insert angsty yet funny and witty chapter tittle*
Chapter 32: Not Logan being a mood rn pfft
Chapter 33: The prince and the snake (uwu)
Chapter 34: Becoming friends again
Some character clarifications
Chapter 36: The one with the brave night and the beautiful prince
Chapter 37: FUCKEN FINALLY HOLY SHIT YESSSS
Chapter 38: The one in which Logan realizes Janus needs vocab cards
Chapter 39: A non-surprising surprise
Chapter 40: The Demus Special 2.0
listen up pls
Chapter 41: Unlocking some hidden backstory
Chapter 42: canon gay doing gay shit
chapter 43: new ends, old beginings
Chapter 44: Does it show that shit's gonna go down? because it is
Chapter 45: That awkward moment when V kidnaps Patton LOL *cries in pain*
Chapter 46: I wanted to make V's contact be "Sassy Catboy" but couldn't >:(
Chapter 47: "what ya got there pat?" "A KNIFE" "NO"
Chapter 48: Big book worm and bby book worm bonding time
Chapter 49: Not me foreshadowing so subtly that no one will notice
Chapter 50: You can explain everything using carton references
Chapter 51: In case it wasnt obvious, this be gasslight
Chapter 52: I strugled to figure out wtf to do in here for a week. Enjoy?
Chapter 53: I Want Waffle Fries >:D
Chapter 54: This... wasnt in the script-
Chapter 55: the characters are getting off-script and it's getting dark- help?
Chapter 56: I'm so sorry for the lack of quality, fam. Hope y'all can forgive me
Chapter 57: Sap
Chapter 58: TMA REFERENCE!?!?
Chapter 59: i hate that i'm loosing motivation on this, what's the point?
NEW BOOK
Chapter 60: Peace, Love and Granola
1 YEAR ANIVERSARY???

Chapter 35: Remus + Patton say: hamburger supremacy

141 11 170
By Doodles_the_fander

before we begin, heres some art i did because of a few comments in another chapter and because of one of my friends asked lol

Now, onto the chapter!



"Please don't be too weirded out when we get there, ok? All of them are... very unique people. It may be a bit hard to get used to- well, to understand them. Specially Virgil. He's very confusing at first. Like- he's actually a nice fella when you get to know him but to understand him he has to open up a bit, first impressions are tricky and I wouldn't trust them because-"

"Logan, please, stop worrying. You're stressing over nothing, and it's becoming contagious," Roman stopped him, "Right turn now?"

"Yes," Logan nodded.

The two were currently sitting in Roman's red car, going to Janus's house for the first official meeting, just as they had scheduled, Roman driving and Logan giving directions.

Honestly, Logan was freaking out a bit. He didn't do much of a great job hiding it. On the one hand, he was afraid of Roman judging him over the vampires. On the other, he was afraid of the vampires judging him over Roman. Which was stupid. Roman was an open-minded person and it would be out of character for cloud to judge Logan for this. And Janus seemed to adore Roman already, and considering what Logan knew of them, it was likely that the rest of the vamps would also like prince. Still, that didn't stop his brain from acting up, something that it apparently loved doing.

"Which one was Virgil again?" Roman asked

"You're going to be introduced to him soon enough..."

"I know, but I want to be prepared, just in case ya know? Besides, it seems that rambling calms you down and helps me mentally prepare myself, so-"

"Alright then... Let's start with Virgil. He's the shortest of the team, excluding Patton, of course. That one's a little kid, so it makes sense. Virgil has black hair and pale skin, he likes makeup, hoodies, fishnets and broken clothes. I'd classify him as chaotic neutral, altho he probably calls himself a chaotic evil. He's also very flirty, especially when he's in the mood, but doesn't typically mean it... I think. He's the self-proclaimed local criptid. I warn you; he may seem like a bit of an asshole at first, but you grow to like him."

"Does everyone think he's an asshole at first, or is it just you?"

"Well- his boyfriend seemed to like him from the first moment," Logan replied, "We also have Janus, who you already know, and Remus, his husband. Remus has many scars across his face and is missing a few fingers and a leg. Do not point them out. First of all, common sense, it's rude to do so- but also, I've been told that he gets triggered if someone asks one too many questions about them. When he talks, he's either very silent or rambles a lot, switching languages mid-sentence sometimes, so it's a bit confusing to understand him, especially considering his weird accent-"

"Weird accent because he sounds European?"

"Weird accent in the sense that it seems his voice got stuck two centuries ago and uses "thee" instead of "you" unironically"

"Oooohhhhhh. I mean- Makes sense."

"It does. The last two that live there are humans, Emile and Patton. Emile is the vampire's familiar, and Patton is his son. They are both sweethearts, very kind and enthusiastic, both love cartoons and Disney- I think you'll get along with them just fine. Emile is- or was, I'm not completely sure -a therapist; Patton is the 10-year-old kid. He's very hyper most of the time. It's actually kinda cute when he starts with his rambles, he just wants to learn about everything, it seems. I wouldn't worry too much about either of them, honestly."

"Alright, so- In summary we got Virgil, local criptid, Janus, vintage vampire, Remus, Spanish oldie, Emile, the dad, and Patton the kid?"

"Yeah, that's pretty much it. Turn left here, we're almost there"

"Oki," Roman nodded, following Logan's instructions.

It didn't take long before they arrived to the house. It stood as tall as always, the tall white walls shimmering slightly with the light of the moon; for once, it was a clear night, in contrast to the past few ones which had been clouded. Lights filtered through the windows, mostly the ones from the bottom floor, while the ones from the top ones rested black.

"Wow... you weren't kidding when you said this place was big," Roman commented

"Come on," Logan held eir hand and pulled crown towards the place, "We wouldn't want to keep them waiting"

They had barely given a few steps towards the building when the door flew open and a small dash appeared from it, running towards them, stopping just a few steps from the pair.

"Hello!" Patton exclaimed, looking at Roman up and down, "Uncle Janus said Logan was bringing someone especial to him today- are you that someone?"

"I am indeed," Roman nodded with a smile, "My name's Roman"

"Hi Roman! I'm Patton Picani, I'm 11 years old and I'm human. Are you human too, or a vampire?"

"I'm a human as well"

"Cool! Are you dating Logan?"

"Excuse me?" Roman asked, trying to repress a chuckle while Logan hid his face with his free hand, biting his tongue and trying to silence his screaming gay mind.

"Yeah! You two are holding hands, and Uncle Janus said that you were very special to Logan so-"

"We're just friends," Logan interrupted Patton before the kid could continue talking, "How about we go inside already? It's cold out here."

"I'm not cold tho," Patton argued.

"Lets go," Logan insisted, letting go of Roman's hand and guiding the little boy inside, Roman following behind.

As the trio approached the door, the figure of Janus waiting by the door made itself clearer, leaning against the wall.

"Bonjour, mon cheres," Janus greeted them, kissing both of the guests twice on the cheek before holding Patton's hand, "Let's go to the living room as Emile finishes with dinner, shall we?"

Remus and Virgil were both waiting in the living room, Remus sitting on the couch, and Virgil sitting on the coffee table. The first of the two was wearing one of those white antique blouses that he liked so much, along with black trousers and socks, while the younger wore his purple tank top, black hoodie, black ripped jeans and characteristic choker, along with a few necklaces. They both looked up when the trio came in, Patton having disappeared up the stairs. Roman waved shyly at them.

"Remus, Virgil, this is Roman, Logan's... friend," Janus introduced them, "Roman, that one over there is my husband, Remus, and that goblin kid over there calls himself Virgil"

"Wow. I'm so honored of being presented that way. Thank you, Janus. I think you're awesome too."

"Why thank you Virge! You know I meant it as a compliment"

"... I do," Virgil stretched before jumping off the table, "So you're the kid dreamboat has been talking 'bout, eh?"

"Dreamboat?" Roman chuckled, looking over at Logan, "It fits"

"Please do not encourage him," Logan begged.

"Sorry dreamboat, but I warned ya, once you get a nickname there's no going back," Virgil smirked

"Anyways um-" Roman extended eir hand towards Virgil, "A pleasure to meet you! My pronouns are ey/prince/crown/cloud/they"

"He/him over here," Virgil high fived instead of shaking Roman's hand. Roman frowned a bit but didn't say a thing.

"I'm Remus, he/him as well," Remus said, offering Roman a hand but not moving from the couch. Roman approached him and shook his hand.

"Tenía ganas de conocerte," Roman smiled, "Janus me ha dicho que eras español, ¿verdad?"

"Si lo soy," Remus replied, a smile apearing on his face as well, a shimmer in his eyes that Logan hadn't seen before, "Es magnifico conocer a alguien que habla castellano, ha sido demasiado tiempo desde que he tenido esta oportunidad. Dime, ¿eres de España o Latinoamérica?"

"Bueno, yo técnicamente nací aquí en Estados Unidos, pero ambos mis padres eran de Méjico."

"Ya veo... ¿Sabias que yo fui uno de los primeros europeos que pusieron pie en America? Yo era un mozo en aquella epoca, y no recuerdo mucho, pero-"

Remus and Roman kept chattering in Spanish. Roman looked so... comfortable, talking in Spanish. Eir voice changed when they talked in this other language, it was different but just as beautiful as always. And Remus also seemed to be enjoying himself. Logan noticed how Janus was smiling at the pair, smiling in the way he only did for Remus. That was quite adorable as well.

Not after long, the scene was interrupted by Emile, who came in the room.

"Hello," He said to Roman, "You must be Roman, right? I'm Emile Picani, these guy's familiar. A pleasure to meet you."

"Hi! The pleasure is mine," Roman replied.

"Has anyone seen Patton?" Emile asked, "I came here to say that dinner was done"

"I think he went to upstairs; I'll go fetch him," Virgil said, heading to the door.

While Virgil started to look for Patton, Emile guided the others to the dining room. This was a room that Logan had never been in, situated right next to the kitchen. Compared to the other rooms, this one was fairly empty and lacked decoration. It had a big cabinet with plates, cutlery and glasses, and a long mahogany table with many chairs positioned around it. The white tablecloth covered the table, and plates were situated on it, along with one glass for each person. There was as well a tray with hamburger meat in it, a bowl with hamburger bread and another tray with some vegetables like lettuce and tomato, as well as cheese. There were a few bottles as well, two with crystal clear water and another tree with a dark red liquid which certainly wasn't wine.

"Patton insisted we had hamburgers," Emile explained, "He and Remus made an alliance, so... I hope its ok"

"Oh, it is, don't worry," Roman replied, "Where should we seat? Are there assigned places or..."

"You and Logan can sit over here, next to each other," Janus said, gesturing to some of the seats and giving Logan a smile and a little wink, which made the younger vampire internally groan, "Emile typically sits at the front of the table, Patton next to him. The rest of us don't do much eating, so we don't have assigned seats, but we do enjoy the social part of the activity."

"You enjoy the social part of the activity," Virgil scoffed, leaning on the frame of the door. Patton was situated behind him

"Hey there renacuajo," Remus waved at the kid, "Mind if I sit next to you today?"

"Of course not! But first," Patton walked to Roman and offered crown a red headband, "This is for you!"

"For me?" Roman picked up the headband and examined it.

"Yes! It matches with your scarf, so I thought you'd like!"

"Patton gave me one too when we first met. He makes them himself" Logan explained

"Oh my god..." Roman put the headband on and turned to Logan, "How do I look"

"I- I, well, you..." Come on logan, now it's not the moment to gay panic-, "You look as always. I mean- amazing, as always. Amazing. You look amazing"

"As always," Roman nodded, sitting down on the seat that Janus had signaled. The rest also sat down

In the end, the composition was the following: Emile sat at the front of the table, Patton to his left, Roman to his right. Next to Patton was Remus, in front of him Logan. Next to him, Virgil, and Janus next to Remus.

The dinner was... a normal kind of strange. Emile, Roman, Patton and Remus served themselves the food and ate while the vampires drank blood from their glasses and talked with each other. It was strange because... well, because the inherently weird situation. The two worlds that Logan had tried so hard to separate were merging together that exact second. He was drinking blood while Roman sat next to him, eating a hamburger at Janus's dining room while discussing the to what point were the costumes in Hamilton accurate. But at the same time... it was nice. For the past months, Logan had gotten used to this constant nonsense. It had become part of his daily live. And having Roman around just made it all... better. More familiar and less alien.

He was actually enjoying himself for once. 



A/N

YAY, A CUTE SCENE

Y'all Patton lovers are gonna ADORE the next chapter, i'm TELLING YOU

Its time for some fluff after what i made you go throught/what i'm gonna make you go through

Anyways, hope y'all enjoyed!!!


Peace, Love and Granola!

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