Fall's' night breeze brushed strands of hair across Asha's face as she sat with her hands wedged between her thighs. Only the sound of the soft wind pass between her and Sanchez, neither of them knowing where to begin. She was aware of what he wanted to possibly discuss but she had no desire to speak on it. Not with him, not at all. If she wasn't within a courtroom, her lawyer's office or at a precinct, she saw no need to retell the story. It was being dealt with and that was enough for her.
Her eyes were focused on the clear blue pool water that seemed to glow in the moon's light. From her peripheral, she could see him watching her but the magnitude of his stare was much heavier. It was why she hadn't looked at him yet.
His fingers tapped on the glass table they sat at before his voice filled the air, "I wanna ask why....why ignore me instead of telling me, but I know the answer to it. I just don't like it."
Her response was more silence. He seemed to be speaking aloud rather than speaking with the expectation of her replying. It wasn't like she was telling everyone in the world except him. She wanted to keep it from anyone who couldn't offer assistance with keeping Blaze away from her. Sanchez happened to fall in the category. Their friendship had only just begun again.
"You didn't have to come down here. I literally told you I was fine just yesterday." she chose to finally speak.
"When I had no idea what was really going on. Look at your face, man." he sat in a chair beside her, so he easily turned her head to face him. "And this is halfway healed. Ain't no telling how it looked some days ago."
His eyes read so much. She could see the tumbleweed of emotions behind his orbs telling her too many things to figure out at once. But even through the emotional madness, anger couldn't hide. Its ability to tremble a core, set fire to a rage, and alter one's mind could never go unnoticed. She was thankful he chose not to lead with it because no matter what he may have felt, she had no true obligation to tell him anything.
"And still...I'm fine." she tore her eyes away, placing them back on the still water.
"I'm supposed to believe that?" he tried not to grit his teeth. He might've been upset but he was trying to avoid misplacing his anger by coming off aggressive. None of his anger was because of her. It was for her.
"Why wouldn't I be fine? He'll be locked up soon enough. That's all I need."
She was being honest. After a few days of scattering her mind and rummaging through different thoughts, her anger subsided. Anger was heavy and she couldn't carry that. She never could and even in a situation like this it's something she can't hold on to without feeling weighed down. Which was why she had no desire for retaliation because it was far from worth it. Men like Blaze thrived off that type of energy and she wanted no one around her to stoop to his level.
"He'll only do a couple months if they do lock him up. That ain't enough. How are you okay with that?" he leaned his head over, trying to meet her eyes again.
"Cause he'll be away from me." her eyes never parted from the pool until she asked, "Who even told you?"
"It matters?"
"Yes, because everyone who need to know or I wanted to know, knew. You're not one of those people."
It was harsh but held all honesty.
He had to fall back in his chair and let a moment of silence pass to keep his tone even and volume at a minimum. The need to get loud had hung from the tip of tongue. Asha watched his eyes count the stars before he placed them back on her.
"Why not?" he calmly asked. "Out of all people in this world...you think I wouldn't be ten toes? About you? You can't believe that."
She shrugged one shoulder and a slither of hurt flashed over his face. It came and went quickly but she didn't miss it.
He seemed to have a different perspective on how their time together reached its end. Yes, they briefly talked about it and he extended an apology but maybe forgiveness and forgetfulness were synonymous to him. She remembered his lack of respect and just because she refused to live in the past she didn't mention it. But there was no way she would just assume he'd fly down ready to tear someone apart once he knew.
You weren't ten toes when you were with me so why be ten toes and we're not together, was how she saw it. To her, him knowing was pointless and for the better since they were rebuilding a relationship.
He added, "Wow...and I risked it for Je but I'd just say fuck it with you, huh?"
"You witnessed hers. She needed to be defended in that moment but I don't need be def—"
"Like hell." his face contorted.
"I don't. It already happened. I have no intentions of playing the victim, being babied, pitied, none of that—"
"But you are a victim. Whether you want to claim it or not. You suffered the hands of somebody else. A grown ass man at that—"
"Yeah, okay, so what?" she shrugged. "I'm a woman! Men assault us all the time. Almost every one of us experience it in some way at one point in our life. It's fucked up but...that's the way it is. I'm not wearing that like a badge. It happened. I made my report. I'm moving on. I don't need my daddy, you, my cousins or anyone else puffing your chest for a lick back on somebody not worth it."
"So what? I go home and act like I don't know this happened?"
"Do you even know what happened? Like really? Yes, I have a couple bruises but I wasn't hit, Sanchez. He didn't hit me once."
His eyes moved back and forth between hers like he wasn't understanding.
"Here, let me fill you in. I got snatched from the car and slammed and pinned against it. That's why I have this and this." she pointed to her face and side. "Other than a tight ass grip on my hair and being an asshole, that was all he did. Both times. You wanna be all worked up about that then be my guest but that's for you and you only."
She got up from the chair to head back in the house but he was quick to grab hold of her hand. He tugged for her to sit back down. She reluctantly followed through with a huff.
He scooted his chair directly in front of her, not letting go of her hand. "I don't wanna rile you up. You didn't want me to know, cool, aight. You want the police to do their thing, that's aight too. But don't make it seem like just because that nigga didn't hit you it ain't shit—"
"I'm not. If I was I wouldn't have went to the police or came to my parents."
"Look how you just summed that story up and just flew over it being done to you twice. You don't wanna be mad about it, cool. That's you, but if he can do that to you twice he can do that shit again plus more. I don't give a fuck about no stooping down to his level—"
"Sanchez."
"I don't. You can say I'm only saying it cause I'm mad but I'm deadass serious. He put fear in you. I know he scared you, that's why you came here. Nobody should make you feel like that."
Him pointing out the fear in heart made her stomach drop. She had to advert her eyes away from him to put a halt on the burn of her eyes. She had been scared and she still was but she didn't want anyone to know that.
"Nobody." he turned her face back to him. "I can't speak for anybody else but I'll turn all this shit upside to make sure you never feel like that again, Asha."
She tried to hold it. Had his thumb not softly moved back and forth against the hand he held tight, had he not held his gaze with her chin in his other hand, and had he not said her name, she could've succeeded. But he'd done all those things which caused her pouted lips to quiver before she dropped her head.
Not missing a beat, Sanchez pulled her up as he stood and held her in a tight embrace. The warmth and security only worsened her cries. He didn't let go.
She'd desperately needed a hug from him and hadn't known it. His were different from others. Once she was swallowed in his arms and pressed against his chest all things terrible felt ceased for a moment. His body was like a shield and nothing could penetrate the armor while she was buried into him.
A heavy five minutes went because when she stopped, she started all over again. It felt like he opened the flood of a dam with the way she wept but it was relieving. She hadn't allowed herself to cry about it, without scolding herself, since the day it happened.
When they finally separated, she continuously sniffled and wiped her face of its wetness. "Thank you. I, um...I should go shower and lay down for work tomorrow. Are you staying?"
"Yeah, but I gotta head back tomorrow. Practice mandatory. If you wanna get away forreal and your job let you, come back with me. Ain't nothing for you to worry about up there."
"I don't—" she was hesitant and dragging her words. She didn't want to intrude on anyway which was why she only spent two days exact at Zeek and Toria's.
"Just think about it. A couple days, a couple weeks, whatever you decide. Ease your mind a lil bit. Rue can't scratch you no more."
He got a weary smile out of her, "I heard."
Asha got the news about Blaze being out on bail after sitting for only a day and a half. It was then confirmed when he blew her phone up from random text now numbers trying to get a hold of her. He was pissed and his car parked in her driveway yet again said he wasn't going to let up on her. His moods were constantly flipping, something he hadn't shown her until recently.
One day he came to her house with flowers, the next he was beating on her door, and repeat. One day he texted begging for forgiveness and the next he was calling her ungrateful for having a man willing to love her and accept her 'temporary' celibacy. He was absolutely bonkers and she was sure to show her lawyer. Her written request for a lease termination was also sent off, waiting to be recognized. She had to get away ASAP.
"Hey Zeek, are you busy right now? I mean I know you're probably at work but can you get away for a moment?" she continued to watch her home camera while she had her call on speaker.
"Uh yeah, wassup?"
"I need to grab more stuff from the house but he's in my yard. I've called the police already and they seem to be taking their precious time. It's been thirty minutes. Can you meet me there?"
"I thought they had him. He must've posted bail?"
"Unfortunately. He acts like he doesn't have a job to be at." she rolled her eyes, watching Blaze casually take a call while sitting in his car with the door open. "Hopefully the police show up before I get there but if they don't I'd like to have someone with me."
"You shouldn't even go over there knowing he'll sit there that damn long and you not even there. That nigga obviously ain't got nothing to do. Where you at?"
"Work. It's a short day so I'm about to head back to my parents for the day. I'm just tired of wearing the same thing over and over."
"Drop your pin and I'll come grab the key. You don't need to step foot over there. I got Chez with me so we can--"
"What!? I thought he went back home this morning. Why is he here?"
"He changed his mind. I didn't even know he was down here. He popped up on me. But yeah, drop the pin and we'll grab whatever."
She shook her head, "Don't even worry about it. I'll just have to suck it up or go grab some stuff from the mall—"
"Nah, we got you."
"Sanchez is not going over there. Especially if Blaze is still sitting there when y'all show up. Just forget about it."
After the way Sanchez fueled with anger last night and let her know he'd cause havoc behind her, he had no business being close to Blaze. He didn't care about stooping down to Blaze's level but she did. He had a career, endorsements and much more on the line if he were to be arrested behind his actions. Like she said, she didn't need to be defended. It was admirable to know people would step in her name but she refused to actually let them.
Her father had been so pissed behind the news that the first thing he did once she was out of the room was contact her cousins. Specifically the group of men known for their reckless ways, consequences be damned. Had they not contacted her to check on her she would have never known and Blaze would probably be laid in a hospital somewhere or in a morgue. It may sound good when upset but she refused to have someone's death on her conscience.
If he were to only serve months in jail she was okay with that. Maybe then he'd leave her alone, but to intentionally send someone after him wasn't her style.
"You think I'd let my boy jeopardize himself? C'mon now."
"Actually, I do."
"Well you wrong." he chuckled. "I'd politely take the swing my damn self. I can get arrested he can't."
"Yeah, absolutely not. Do you know if Victoria is calling it early today or she's working late again?"
"She should be on her way to the crib. She said she was getting off at 2 and using some vacation days."
"Tuh, I might be doing the same. Alright. I'll talk to you later." she ended the call.
She might've used two of her personal days for her short trip to PA but she was tempted to use her PTO for a mini vacation. Some place far away on the water to keep herself at ease. She hadn't taken a vacation since last year. She was overdue for one.
Rather than drive back to her parents after clocking out for the day, Asha went to her grandparents'. She entered the house to her grandaddy asleep in her recliner chair and her grandma on the phone while in the kitchen.
"Speak of the devil. I'll call you back, Drew." she tucked her phone away in the pocket of her mowmow. "Hey my girl. Where you coming from?"
"Work." Asha hugged her grandmother before opening the fridge in search of a drink. "What you and Drew were talking about?"
"He said you sent a bunch of baby stuff to their house like the baby shower isn't in a couple months. You couldn't wait?"
She grabbed a cup and poured to grape juice, "No. Plus I wanted to be first. This is my baby just as much as theirs."
"I told him that." Grandma pointed her finger in the air. "I told him that. I said once that baby get here Bug'll be on y'all door step like the milk man."
"Especially if it's a girl. They can give it up."
"That boy of yours came by this morning. He sat with us for about two hours or so. You talked to him?" Grandma folded her arms.
"Now Grandma...I already know you know the answer to that question because you asked him. I'm pretty sure my mom told you her fair share too."
Grandma nodded, "Yes. But I haven't anything from you. Let's go sit on the porch. I don't wanna wake your grandaddy up."
Asha kept ahold her glass and trailed behind her grandmother to the front porch. She took a seat and drank more her juice while she had awaiting eyes and ears. Air came out her nose from stifling a laugh at her Grandma's patience.
"If you must know my side," Asha put her glass down. "He was highly upset."
"Rightfully so."
"He was mad it happened, I guess but also mad I didn't want to tell him. I don't think me not wanting to tell him was worth being upset about but they're his feelings, not mine. It's his right."
"Do you think he was actually upset about that or disappointed?"
"Maybe both. I don't know."
Grandma clapped and shook her head, "Aht aht. We're not doing this Miss Asha. I've let it slide long enough. Speak. I don't want these half ass thoughts and opinions you been giving everybody. Talk. Say it all. I'm Grandmama."
"Okayyyy," Asha held her hands up. "It's definitely both because in his mind I should already know he'd come to my defense, but it's been so long. We were literally hi and bye before Grandad's birthday. He's not gonna be my 911 call."
Grandma nodded for her to continue.
"But men and their need to grab their peens and show their dominance behind women they claim as 'their own' is their thing. I get it. Sure it was nice to see he'd want to protect me but I don't need that the chaos and violence right now. I don't. Especially after I'd just brought Daddy and them down from their rages, here he comes."
"If you don't want violence from them what do you want? I didn't hear you tell anyone—the other day when we all met up at the house, what you actually want from them. All I heard was don't do this, don't do that. What do you want them to do?"
She did a half shrug, "Normalcy. I don't want to be treated like I'm fragile or vulnerable—"
"But you are vulnerable. You might not be fragile but you're in a vulnerable place right now, baby. Someone is stalking you and put their hands on you. You can't go home right now. This is serious and they see that. Do you see that?"
"Yes."
"Are you sure because you need them in protection mode right now, watching your back. You shouldn't be shutting them out and pushing them off in your time of need, Bug. Accept their protection."
"But I don't want them trying to get revenge. Daddy called Disco and them and you know what they're about."
"That's all your cousins can give you but you already told them that's not what you want. They all heard you. And I understand you. I do. But what you really want is something only three men are willing to give you. All you gotta do is accept it."
Asha stared at her grandmother doe-eyed because for the first time in a long time, she wasn't sure what she wanted from the men in her life. She felt like she wanted to be left alone but couldn't even cry in her own comfort.
"And what is that?"
"Comfort. Good and simple ol' comfort. You won't accept it from anybody, especially the men and why is that?" Grandma lifted her 'brows in question. "Cause it was a man who hurt you. I know it all too well, baby. I promise you I do. You got all the support you need. Just take it. It's yours."
A day spent in Miami with Zeek then later Victoria, ended with Sanchez going back to the Mitchell home before heading to the airport. He'd missed a day of practice and after the shit show his team experienced on Sunday due to missed practices, so his coaches were on his ass. He already knew a letter with a hefty fine would be awaiting in his mailbox along with a nasty cussing at the facility tomorrow. Did he care? Of course not but he'd have to show an ounce of something to get the coaches off his back.
His offensive coach already knew why he hadn't shown up. Maybe that'd earn him some grace but he doubt it. If anybody truly fixed their mouths to say anything slick it would be the head coach. Sanchez went ahead and scheduled a sit down with him to see what his problem was with the intentions of squashing it. Hopefully, by the end of the week they'd come to a middle ground and the fine would be resolved.
"You're back!" Jeremiah gave Sanchez a fold up just as he came thru the door. "I thought you were gone."
"Nah, but I'm about to be in a lil minute. I had to bring the truck back." he jiggled Ashton's borrowed truck keys.
"I'm all for you coming to show my sister love but after this past game, nobody need to be skipping practice. I'm just saying. 7-29 is nutssss!" Jeremiah shook his head.
"Blasphemy if you will." Elijah added, overhearing the convo as the boys entered the living room. "But you did them a solid so I'm not mad at you."
"Recognize. What y'all think that was? 20 miles per hour?"
"Pftt!" Jeremiah shoved Sanchez. "I'll give you 15, maybe 16 but that wasn't no 20. I'd fear for my life if a man your size ran 20 miles per hour. Big silverback."
"Shut yo ass up." Sanchez grabbed him up in a headlock. "And they clocked it. It was 19.4 boy. Put respect on it."
"Forreal?" Elijah's eyes widened. "No, that's scary forreal."
"What's scary?" Asha appeared behind them with a napkin of raspberries in her hand. She pushed Sanchez's hands, "Why're you choking him?"
"He called me a silverback." Sanchez let him go with a hard push that sent him stumbling over his feet.
"He ran 19.4 the other night. Imagine 300 pounds coming at you that fast...a gorilla." Jeremiah caught his balance to say.
"Miles per hour?" Asha's eyebrow arched.
"Miles per hour!" Elijah confirmed.
She looked to Sanchez, "You can't run that fast. Can you run that fast? No. I've outrun you."
"Because I've let you." he smirked and snatched a raspberry off her napkin. "You thought about what I said? I'm leaving in the next couple hours."
"I thought you were leaving this morning." she walked by him and plopped next to Elijah on the couch who also grabbed a piece of fruit from her hand. "Damn!"
"What? He grabbed one."
"Don't try to be like me." Sanchez teased.
"Neither one of y'all should reach in people's food like that. Y'all lucky you weren't swatted."
Sanchez fanned her off, "I stayed just because and to give you time to think. I ain't pressuring you—"
"Feels like it." she peered up at him. He immediately frowned in response because it was his first time bringing it up since he said it last night. She softened her face, "I'm kidding. Sorry."
"Well, somebody must be in a good mood to be joking." Duke gave her a side-eye.
"I had a decent day." she shrugged. "Could've been better. Got off early, hung out with Grandma."
"And she's sharing her day." Elijah wore surprise on his face. "Did Grandma do something to you?"
"No."
Her brothers quickly threw their hands up to show they meant no offense by their comments. It was evident she wasn't only short with Sanchez about her life but her brothers as well.
"I thought about it a little bit and I don't know." she finally gave Sanchez an answer. "Thanks for the offer though."
Lowkey, he expected her to not take him up on his offer and that was fine. He thought her being out of state and not having to look over her shoulder would do good for some time. Especially with the season being active because then, if she wanted to, she could travel with Dallas to the games. But he understood she worked a full-time job that she probably couldn't pick up and leave from.
He just couldn't say he was too comfortable with leaving her behind. No one could guarantee that she wouldn't run into the Blaze character. Her call to Zeek earlier that day only confirmed his concern with her staying around the area. The man was sitting in her yard day after day and the police had no sense of urgency in their response time.
No one could tell Sanchez that he didn't know where she worked as well because all it took was a google search. Companies always listed their highest employee upon their website and LinkedIn page. Dude could've been using it for a last resort— the ultimate surprise to get to her. Because a simple type of her name and Sanchez found it himself. Imagine a desperate stalker.
"I'm home!" Sydnie entered the house with a bag of Popeyes in her hand. "Y'all hungry."
"They should be with the way they were stealing and snatching my fruit." Asha glared at Elijah and Sanchez.
"Well, come on." she waved everyone to follow her in the kitchen then pointed to the sink, "Get your hands washed so you can fix your own food. Sanchez?"
"I'm cool. I'm about to head to the airport."
"Right now?"
"Yeah—"
"I'll drive you." Asha quickly offered. "Give me a second."
She scurried off toward the stairs causing Sydnie to lift her 'brows with a chuckle, "Much different reaction opposed to last night."
"I should be scared huh?" he joked to avoid yet another person asking how their talk went.
He didn't necessarily mind sharing with them but he was realizing Asha wasn't only closed off about speaking on their relationship, but a lot of other things. Her entire life seemed to become one vague discussion with small details every now and then. Definitely wasn't her family's style but they weren't too hounding either, so he was going to have to clamp down when it came to Asha. It didn't want to be the one opening her business— though it concerned them both. They were primarily her family.
"Probably." Sydnie chuckled.
Asha reappeared with a hoodie on and keys as she tied her hair up in a sloppy bun, "Come on."
"I'll talk to you later. I'll probably be back soon too." he stretched his arms for a hug from Sydnie.
"Alright. I pray for a safe trip. Let us know when you land." she was certain to squeeze him tight and rub his back.
He said a farewell to the boys as well. He then followed Asha out the door to her car and climbed in the passenger seat.
"What is all this?" he moved black plastic bags from the seat and floor to the backseat.
"Oh, I went to the hair store." she started the car up and wasted no time pulling out since she was backed in. "Got kinda carried away per usual."
"All that can't be necessary." he glanced back to peek through the items like he'd be able to tell what she did and didn't need.
"It is and even if it's not I'll find a way to use it." she swiped along the wide screen for a specific playlist. She settled on one titled with the blue butterfly emoji.
The music was at an even volume to keep the floor open for any conversation but loud enough to drown out silence. He sat rubbing over his scalp, in need of a wash and braid down. The way he sunk in the seat and leaned his seat back made Asha look at him.
It took a moment for her to speak, "Thank you, you know...for coming and checking on me. It may not seem like I appreciate it but I do. Truly."
"You don't have to thank me. Just be careful up there at your job too. A quick google search and I found it."
"What?" she frowned.
"I don't know how to pronounce it but it's a few buildings down from a nail shop and tax building. Ain't too many Asha Mitchells in Florida."
She quickly set the car on auto drive to the airport and sunk in the seat with worry all over her face. "Why would you tell me that?"
"So you know he probably know where you work at. He's sitting at your house but after awhile he's probably gonna come up there too. You gotta have your head on a swivel."
She turned out the window.
"Don't get too worked up about it." he placed his hand on her knee. "If your building has security just put them and the front desk on game."
"This is all so stupid. Men and their dumbass egos." she mumbled under her breath.
"That ain't a shattered ego. He weird and wasn't loved as a child. He tryna play crazy. And change your number. Why haven't you done that yet?"
"It was Bahzeek who told you wasn't it?" she turned to him. "Only he, Toria, and my momma know everything. They wouldn't break and tell you but your best friend would."
"I forced the details out after you called." he admitted.
She shook her head, "But I am. I just had to finish some things before I could."
"You gonna be alright? Forreal forreal?"
"Eventually. Court is set three weeks from now so hopefully it's clear and cut. I'm just ready for when I can stop holding my breath."
"Me too." he put his hand behind her headrest. "You hurt my heart last night. I've never seen you cry like that but I could tell you needed it."
She stared at him like she was meticulously finding the words she wanted to give him. It wasn't until she faced the road and took over the driving again that she actually spoke.
"You pointed out something I didn't want anyone to...how scared I was and still am. Someone was there with him when it happened and he didn't help cause he was scared to. Imagine how scared for my life I was to see his own friend terrified of what was gonna happen."
Sanchez wasn't caught up on that part and he felt that rush of anger again, but he heavily exhaled and grit his teeth to relax. To know another grown man stood nearby, scared or not, he should've stepped in. She shouldn't have been left to help herself with someone else present.
"Niggas be bitches forreal," he couldn't stop himself from scoffing and shaking his head. "I really wish you'd let me get my hands on him just to show him what that shit feel like. And you don't want to take some time away where you can have a peace of mind....I don't want you walking moving around here scared....I hate to admit it, but I don't know what to do."
It was honest. He had no idea what else to offer her because for certain situations words just were enough. He'd given her the only words he had to offer— he had her back and was there for her but she was denying him to be in his full capacity. He liked to do. All action. Words weren't enough for him. He tried to get her away until maybe the first court hearing but she didn't want to go with him. He wanted to wring Blaze's neck but again she didn't want that to happen. He felt at a loss.
Asha said nothing in response, causing them to sit in the low music as she maneuvered through the airport traffic. She found an open curbside parking at his gate and put the car in park,
"Be safe, I guess." she sat with her hands clasped in her lap.
He lightly chuckled, "What you mean, I guess? You either want me to land safely or not. Now I'm scared."
"Oh please." she rolled her eyes. "Be safe."
"I'll be sure to remind the pilot." he lifted an arm to hug her then opened the car door to get out. "I'll let you know I'm home."
"Wait." she stopped him from closing the door. "Who do you play Sunday?"
"Uh...Buffalo. Why?"
"Okay." she ignored his which made him ask again. She shook her head and waved him off. "Bye."
_______
Q U E S T I O N S
1. how are you feeling about the way Sanchez came at Asha about not being told? you think Asha could've been less short about everything?
2. any thoughts about what Grandma Gwen had to say?
3. how do feel about Chez not knowing what to do? should he just leave it alone?
4. General thoughts?
*I'll come back to correct mistakes. My eyes are half open rn*