Essence
Hours later, me and the girls found ourselves back at Morgan's place. We were getting ready to go out for the night and they still hadn't told me where we were going. The fact that they were acting like it was some big secret only made me even more eager to know. I didn't really like surprises, so my plan was to vex their nerves so bad to the point where they'd just go ahead and tell me what I wanted to know.
"Y'all don't have to tell me the exact location, just give me a hint." I negotiated as I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, putting the final touches on my hair and makeup. Morgan was still in the process of flat ironing her hair and Maya was sitting on the bed surfing through tv channels since she had finished getting ready before us. Neither of them seemed moved by me, they just continued doing what they were doing as if I wasn't speaking. "Okay, fine. Y'all don't have to give me any hints, just tell me if we're going to a club or not because y'all know clubs are not really my type of scene."
Once again, I was met with silence. My plan was seemingly a fail, but I wasn't going to give up just yet. The pestering continued as we finished getting ready, it continued as we made our way to the car, and I was prepared to keep it going until we made it to our destination. "You act like a bad ass kid." Maya laughed. "We are not about to tell you anything. Just sit back and go with the flow."
Realizing that things weren't gonna go my way, I did what she suggested and sat back. A small pout accompanied my face as I went with the flow. Music filled the car as we drove and about fifteen minutes into the ride, Maya pulled out a blindfold.
"We're about to pull up and you don't need to see anything until it's time for you to see."
"This feels like a set up. Why do I need a blindfold? I don't like surprises." I said as I put on the blindfold anyways. As much as I wanted to protest, more or me wanted to see what the hell they had up their sleeves, so I complied. A few minutes later, I felt the car come to a stop. The girls guided me out of the car and into a building before finally removing the blindfold.
"Surprise!" I heard everyone yell out as soon as I was able to see. A smile eased onto my face seeing the familiar faces of my family. Even the ones I didn't get to see very often had flown in for my birthday. My mom, dad, and Eli stepped forward to embrace me in a hug. After they released me, I took a second to let my eyes wander around the beautifully decorated room that had a royal blue and silver theme. Everything looked so elegant and pretty, from the gorgeous birthday banner and balloon wall, to the royal blue roses that were placed on top of the silver table cloths. There was a table full of food, another full of themed colored snacks with a triple layered birthday cake placed in the center, and another table was dedicated to gifts.
My stomach let out a low rumble at the sight of all the food. I may have not liked surprises, but I had nothing against a good dinner party. While I was admiring the room, my eyes fell onto another familiar face that I was surprised to see. "What?! Amon is here and there ain't a studio in sight."
"You know I don't really pop out like that. I made an exception for you." He said as he pulled me into a hug. "Happy Birthday."
"Thank you." I replied. I held onto him a few seconds longer before letting go and turning to face everyone else. "All of y'all are sneaky as hell. Whose idea was it to do this?"
"This was all mama's idea, but I did most of the work." Eli said, making our parents side eye him.
"If you call setting up the tables most of the work." Our dad chimed in.
"Essence I'm telling you, I did a little bit of everything. Even helped mama cook the food." Eli countered and at this point, I knew he couldn't be telling the truth because I knew my brother. He'll eat you out of house and home, but he's not about to help you cook. "Nah, I'm just playing about the cooking part, but I did everything else."
"I know you're just playing. You don't cook." I laughed, shaking my head. It honestly didn't matter to me who did what, I was just appreciative of the fact that they thought of me enough to put this together because I was not expecting this at all. It didn't take long for me to get into a party mood. There was music, food, and family, so it was definitely a vibe. As much as I loved goofing around with the fam, my mind had been focused on the food from the moment I walked through the door. So, after about forty-five minutes of entertaining everyone, I made my way over to the food, so I could make myself a plate. My mama really outdid herself this time, she threw down like she was trying to feed an entire community when it was really only a small gathering. I wasn't gonna complain though, because just like Eli, I too liked to eat.
"Girl, your aunties are something else. They need their own reality show." Maya said as I took a seat at the table with my food. She had a plate in front of her that she was eating off of. Morgan was right behind me at first, but one of Eli's friends intercepted before she could make it to the table. I glanced back at the two of them and let out a small laugh at the uninterested expression that graced her face, my friend just wanted to sit down and eat.
"What they do?" I asked Maya, knowing how my aunts could get whenever the two of them were together. All you had to do was follow the sound of arguing and it will lead you straight to them. It never fails.
"They are funny as hell. They were just sitting next to me arguing and the one with the pixie cut started it, but the one in the purple blouse most definitely finished it." She stated and I believed her instantly because that's how their arguments usually go. Aunt Lisa would say something offensive that rubs Aunt Leslie the wrong way, then Aunt Leslie would read her for filth after that.
"That sounds about right." I agreed. I can admit it was a bit comical to watch, but at the same time it could be draining.
We continued eating our food only making little comments here and there. The food was so good, I didn't even wanna come up for air, but there was something that had been on my mind since that morning. Something I needed to address before I left for Atlanta.
"Moment of truth." I said as I placed my fork down and turned my chair slightly so I could be facing Maya. Seeing that I was serious, she gave me her undivided attention. "How do you really feel about me moving?"
"Essence I already told you, if you're happy, then I'm happy." She laughed. "I'm used to you living only ten minutes away from me, so it's gonna take some getting used to. We won't be able to see each other in person as much, but we'll make it work. Just know imma blow your phone up every fucking day and you better answer. And every two weeks one of us needs to be on a flight, deal?"
"Every two weeks? What about once a month?" I suggested, trying to reason with her. "You know flights are not cheap."
"Fine, we can do once a month. I can work with that." She agreed. Our hands connected and we shook on it, solidifying the agreement. "Imma really miss you, though."
"Imma miss you too, who else is gonna be my entertainment? Eli is boring." I figured once we got to the A, Eli would be in the studio most of the time and when he wasn't in the studio, he would be vexing my nerves. I was interested to see how it would be with us living together as adults. I was expecting the worst, but hoping for the best.
After Maya and I had our talk, I felt better about moving. I just wanted to make sure me and her were good and we were. Once that was out of the way, I spent the rest of the night throwing shots back because I strongly believed that a twenty-first birthday was not complete until you were so drunk that you were unable to walk in a straight line. It was now one in the morning and everyone was getting ready to call it a night, but the girls and I were still in our own world. We were probably the reason everyone was ready to go. I'm sure our singing and dancing was enough to run my family and Eli's friends out of the building. The music that blasted from the speakers was turned off out of nowhere and my eyes fell on my Aunt Lisa who was standing at the head of the table with a wine glass in her hand.
"Before we start heading out, I just wanna take a second to make a toast to my beautiful niece." She said as a small hiccup escaped her mouth. I could tell this wasn't her first glass of wine and it made me feel anxious about her giving a toast because if she was drunk it wasn't no telling what she would say. "You have no idea how proud of you I am. I know I don't tell you all the time, but I love you and you are truly destined to do great things. When you put your mind to something, nothing can stop you. Not me, not your parents, not even the bastard who tried to end your life with his bare hands. You always find a way to push through, just like your auntie. I never told you this, but I used to get my ass beat too back in the day when I was with your uncle — "
"Okay Lisa, that's enough." My mom interrupted as she grabbed the glass of wine from her hands. "It's time to go."
"I'm just trying to make a toast to my niece." She said, taking the glass back. "It's not easy to overcome the things that she's been through, but she's doing it."
"I hear you. I still think you've had enough to drink though."
As my mom continued speaking with Aunt Lisa, I headed towards the exit. I needed some air ASAP. Hearing my Aunt's toast was enough to make me sober up real fast. It's like all the alcohol evaporated from my body and was replaced with an overwhelming amount of embarrassment. This was not the time nor the place to bring up heavy memories from either of our pasts, especially not in front of a room filled with my family and friends. I couldn't even look anyone in the eye after that.
I placed my back against the brick wall outside, leaned my head back, and closed my eyes as I tried to coach myself through the negative thoughts that began to run across my mind. I never knew my aunt was in an abusive relationship, she's never mentioned it before. If she knew that the wine would give her loose lips then she shouldn't have thrown back as many glasses as she did. My thoughts were interrupted once I heard someone else come outside. My eyes opened and they landed on the last person I expected it to be. He didn't say anything at first, he just stood next to me in silence. After a few minutes passed, he finally spoke.
"When I was seven, my dad got arrested." Amon said, staring straight ahead. Neither one of us made eye contact with each other, but I was interested to hear what he had to say since he was never really vocal about his personal life or his family. "He had a serious problem with drugs and alcohol. One day he got behind the wheel while he was intoxicated and ended up taking someone's life. He got ten years for it, but only did eight. I was fifteen when he got out, my little sister was nine. We were expecting for him to come home after he was released, so we could make up for lost time. I remember I used to count down the days, but it never happened. He never came. I guess he had different plans for his new life that didn't involve kids."
I listened to him silently. I didn't comment because I didn't know what to say. I couldn't imagine how that made him feel. It had to suck knowing his dad was free and still chose not to be a part of his life. While I was still pondering over his story about his dad, he began telling yet another life story. And I was beginning to wonder why he was being so open all of a sudden.
"When I was eighteen, I was walking home one night. It was a few days before graduation. Some niggas decided they were gonna rob me that night. I don't know how much they were looking to get, but I was only a youngin' then, so I didn't have that much. They got me good though, stabbed me six times and took the hundred dollars that I had on me. I didn't get to walk across the stage because I was in the hospital, but I was lucky to be alive since all the wounds were in my abdomen. All, but one. They got me in the hand one time."
"Why are you telling me all this?" I asked him, not wanting to hear any more of his stories. It was becoming a bit much for me. I hated hearing sad things, why couldn't we talk about something that was on a more positive note.
"I'm telling you all this because regardless of anything I've been through, I still managed to come out on top. I turned every negative into a positive and that's what's important. Don't be ashamed of nothing from yo' past cause none of that shit matters. Only thing that matters is what the fuck you're doing right now."
He spoke with so much authority that I wanted to just nod my head, agree, and leave it at that, but I couldn't.
"Yeah, but it still wasn't the time for her to bring that up. That's not something I wanna think about right now." I said to him and it dawned on me that this was my first time discussing this with him. "Did you know?"
The look on his face was enough to let me know the answer to that question. I wasn't too surprised though. I should've known he would've heard about it. It's not something he ever brought up though.
"Your story is your story. Can't nobody tell your story, but you. It's not my place or anyone else's to bring that shit up." I let his words sink in as silence took over. Everything he was saying was the truth, nobody could tell my story, but me. "It's your birthday - you turned twenty one, get back to focusing on that. I heard you were moving in a week."
"I am." I said with a small smile. "And this is the part where you realize that you're going to miss me and you regret all those times you talked so much shit."
"What I'm missing you for? You gon' stop fucking with me once you get to the A?"
"I mean.......since I'm not going to be here, I won't need the studio anymore. So, I don't have a reason to call you." The fake hurt look that came across his face was comical as hell. "But maybe I'll still give you a call. You're good with your words, maybe you can be my therapist whenever my actual therapist is busy."
"You just wanna use me, is that right?" He smiled slightly. "We definitely gotta have check-ins though. That cool with you?"
"Fine with me."
I agreed to the check-ins and I knew Amon was going to hold me to that, but it was cool. I wasn't lying when I said he was good with his words. He knew exactly what to say to get me in a better headspace, he just had a blunt way of saying it. This move was something I was really looking forward to. It was gonna be a new environment, new faces, and new opportunities, but I was going to make it my top priority to stay connected with the people that were holding me down at home.