Essence
As soon as the clock turned twelve at midnight, I was up ready to start the day. I was finally twenty one and was most definitely on cloud nine. It wasn't like I was going to get much sleep anyways with the way my sleep schedule has been. I was able to doze off for a few hours, but that was about it.
When I did wake up from my cat nap, I woke up to a $10,000 check laying on the pillow next to me with my name on it. Seems like that lovely big brother of mine was in the giving spirit today. Me and my savings account made sure to give him a great big thank you.
Around 10 o'clock the girls came and got me so we could have brunch at one of my favorite spots, The Ruby Slipper Cafe. I swear the food at this place was gonna hit every time.
I continued looking over the menu as the waiter brought our drinks to the table. I couldn't decide on whether I wanted the BBQ shrimp and grits or the breakfast tacos.
"It's my best friend's twenty-first birthday today." I heard Maya say to the waiter as he placed our mimosas in front of us.
"You already told him that." I said laughing slightly, as I pulled my eyes away from the menu. She had made it her job to tell every person that we've come in contact with since we left my house, that it was my twenty-first birthday today. I swear she was more excited than me.
"Nah. That was the other waiter, but don't worry, she's gonna make sure she lets the entire staff know." Morgan said with face still in her menu.
"I sure am." Maya agreed. "Cause they need to run my sis her free dessert."
After we all figured out what we wanted to eat, we placed our order and I decided I would just go ahead and get the BBQ shrimp and grits. I didn't want to overdo it because I had a photoshoot in a couple of hours and I didn't want my belly to look like I was pregnant with a food baby.
We were gonna stop at the mall beforehand to get a few things for the photoshoot and an outfit for tonight. The girls were taking me someplace, but they wouldn't tell me where.
While we were waiting for our food to come out, the topic of Atlanta came up and I decided now was a good time to let them know about the quick decision I've made to officially move to the A with Eli. He was going back home in a week and this time, I'd be going with him.
It was a last minute thing and I still had my doubts about it, but I was gonna take a leap of faith for the sake of my career.
"Essence, that's amazing. You know Atlanta is like the city of opportunities. This move could really take you to the next level." Morgan said as genuine excitement covered her face before it was replaced with a look of sadness. "Of course I'm going to miss you though. I've gotten so attached to you now. Make sure you're extra careful out there too, it's some shady people in this business and you know I know."
"Trust me, I'm always careful and Imma miss y'all too, but I'll only be a phone call away and it's not like Imma be far. Atlanta ain't nothing but a two hour flight." I stated, trying to make her feel better, but it felt more like I was trying to convince myself. "Didn't you use to live out there?"
"No, that was L.A. It was fun living out there for a while, but I missed my family here." She said, making me appreciate the fact that Eli was going to be out there with me so I wouldn't be by myself.
As we continued conversing, I noticed Maya was being very quiet, which wasn't like her at all. She wasn't engaging in the conversation, she just looked deep in thought as she played with her straw.
"How do you feel Maya? About me moving?" I asked her since she didn't say anything when I mentioned it the first time. She continued playing with her straw and I almost thought she didn't hear me until she finally responded.
"I think it's a smart decision to make in regards to your career. I can see you doing big things in the future. So if you're happy, then I'm happy."
Her response was a very politically correct answer and I could tell she was holding back from saying what she really wanted to say, which was not what I wanted.
If she was upset about the move, then I wanted her to say that. If she was sad about it, then I wanted her to say that. She didn't bite her tongue any other day and now wasn't the time to start.
We'd been friends for so long that I knew our friendship was strong enough to handle any truths and any distance.
The waiter bringing our food out, interrupted the silence that fell upon us. As we ate, Maya seemed to come back to life, making jokes here and there. I could tell she was shoving her real feelings aside so the mood could stay light and for now, I was just going to go along with it.
After we were nice and full from the brunch, we left the Cafe, but not before I received my free dessert of course. On the way to the mall, I threw back some of the Hennessey that lived in Maya's car. The mimosas that we had were cute, but I needed something stronger.
This photoshoot was going to be an experience that dragged me completely out of my comfort zone. The outfit I planned to take pictures in was going to be more of a lingerie type of fit.
This was something I chose to do not only because I was feeling myself due to me turning twenty one, but also because I was currently on a self love journey and embracing my body was a part of that. Since I've been taking therapy it's made me realize things about myself that I wasn't aware of before.
And if I loved myself as much as I claimed, then how could I allow someone to hurt me in such a terrible way for as long as I did? Something was clearly broken and I was determined to do whatever it takes to repair myself.
"You gotta show out for this photoshoot." Morgan said as we stepped inside of the Victoria's Secret store. We weren't in the store for no more than five minutes before she called herself finding the perfect ensemble for me. She held up a black lace bodysuit that was backless along with a silk black robe. "This would look sexy as hell on you."
"I like it, but I want something red." I told her as I grabbed the bodysuit from her to get a better look at it.
"Essence, you gotta get this one. This is for the big dawgs." Maya said, approaching us from the other side of the store. She separated from us when we walked in because she was just that determined to find something for me. "You said you wanted grown and sexy, well this is the epitome of grown and sexy."
"Girl what the hell kind of photoshoot do you think this is?" I asked Maya as I grabbed the crotchless lingerie set out of her hands.
"A grown and sexy one." She responded in a duh tone. "If you don't want it, I'm damn sure buying it. I'll put it to use."
"The whole pussy out." Morgan laughed.
"You can go ahead and buy it because I'm not about to stand in front of this photographer with my vagina blowing in the wind."
"What about this?" Morgan asked, picking up another set, this time it was a two piece with red lace. It was more up my alley than the other two that they showed me, but I still wanted something slightly different.
I could tell I was going to be in this store longer than I thought.
The girls were acting like kids in a candy store, shoving lingerie in my face every two seconds. It took me a while to pick one, but I finally decided on a sexy red lace bodysuit that had the stomach cut out and a silk red robe. And Maya made sure she didn't leave without buying the crotchless set that she had her eyes on.
"Okay. Let's hurry up and find us an outfit for tonight cause your shoot is in less than two hours." Morgan said as we maneuvered through the mall.
"Are y'all going to tell me where we're going?"
"Nope." They both replied at the same time, popping the 'p'.
"Well, how am I supposed to know what kind of outfit to buy?"
"We'll guide you in the right direction." Morgan stated, linking her arm with mine.
"It's my best friend's twenty-first birthday today." Maya told this random old man as we walked past him. He was sitting on a bench by himself.
"I'll be twenty one for y'all." He replied in a flirty tone. His voice sounded as if he smoked a pack of cigarettes a day.
"Is that right? I believe you, you don't look a day over thirty." Maya lied, flirting back with him. I swear we couldn't take her anywhere.
Eventually we all got everything we needed with just enough time to make it to the shoot without being late. My anxiety didn't fully kick in until I was standing in front of the mirror in the dressing room.
My eyes traveled my body from head to toe as I stood there with the lingerie on. Even though my nerves were on a thousand, I couldn't deny how good I looked at that moment. I turned to the side so I could see how my ass looked and I was proud to say that it was definitely poking a little bit.
Once it was time to start, I poked my head out the door, seeing the girls talking with Lucas the photographer and crept out in front of the white backdrop.
"Girl why are you creeping?" Morgan was the first one to notice me. "Baby the body is bodying, okay!"
"Best friend you's a bad bitch." Maya cheesed. The two of them hyped me up the whole time I was taking my pictures and it honestly helped me to feel a lot more comfortable. I was able to loosen up after a while and really get into it.
I was trying to get my Naomi Campbell on with the model poses and I was trying to give face, but it was hard to do because they kept making me laugh.
When it was all said and done, I was incredibly satisfied with the way the pictures turned out. They looked even better than I thought they would, I almost couldn't believe that I was looking at myself. If I wasn't feeling myself before, I was definitely feeling myself now.