Judge: fluffy_dandruff
Author: Mrs_Namnam
Book Title: Train to Daegu
I believe that every book has the potential to be great given editing and research. My remarks are never to demoralize but to help you grow as a writer and find joy in the process.
Cover (5 Marks)
Awarded 4
I like the cover. It is undeniable that this is a Min Yoongi-centric fanfiction and mirrors the title well with the train tracks. The placement of the title and the author’s name is legible. It would be a nice touch to add a short sentence from your book or your blurb to further advertise your book, especially for those who are reading from a desktop.
Title (5 Marks)
Awarded 5
The title suits the book well. I love tied endings where it ends where it begins. Well done!
Blurb (5 Marks)
Awarded 5
I like that you incorporated the sentence from your book in your blurb. I feel that blurbs introduce readers to your book and it should be impactful and enticing and yet it must not reveal too much of your plot. Personally, I think you did well in showcasing this. I love it.
Pace (5 Marks)
Awarded 5
The pace of the short story was perfect for a short story. It is sweet and the characters Yoongi and Young-Mi were introduced to the readers. The author revealed them through their point of view and addressed their past and their motive to be on the train.
Plot (20 Marks)
Awarded 19.5
I think this could be considered a short story or a one-shot. It is well structured and I love the theme of healing and serendipity. It is sweet with feel-good vibes. The kind that fanfiction is all about with the happily ever after at the end of the book.
The story has good bones and I cannot help but wonder if it would be just as successful or even more successful as a novelette with more in-depth chapters of Seokhoon or the other characters introduced.
Character Development (15 Marks)
Awarded 13
I like how they found one another in their moment of pain and the serendipity of finding one another once again. It is really sweet but they seem to fall in love a bit too fast and maybe too rash. I know that I am a cynic but I think that if one had suffered what both Yoongi and Young-Mi had gone through, they would be a bit more guarded.
As much as I love the storyline, I cannot help but wonder if they had just filled the gap of loneliness and loss by anyone who was at the right place at the right time. Maybe if both Yoongi and Young-Mi had taken time to heal and found love once again through another chanced encounter I would be more accepting of their relationship.
Grammar (20 Marks)
Awarded 20
I have read the chapters and found the texts to be close to impeccable. There were no issues with basic conventions of writing. The author adheres well to the rules of spelling, punctuation and capitalization. Well done!
Writing Style (15 Marks)
Awarded 15
I love the way that their journey was documented from their point of view. There is an ease in the way it is being represented that makes it a compelling read.
Overall Enjoyment (10 Marks)
Awarded 9.5
As mentioned, the story has good bones and while it does delve into the backstory and their motivation to travel back to their hometown, I want to know how they cope with healing and their relationship with their families. The support system is also one of the themes of the story and would be nice to have it represented.
I enjoyed the story and reading it makes me feel warm and comforted. Akin to those nostalgic movies we watch over the holidays over and over again despite knowing the ending to it. Keep up the good work author-nim!
Total: 96/100
Judge: fluffy_dandruff
Author: midnight_breezee
Book Title: The String of Fates
I believe that every book has the potential to be great given editing and research. My remarks are never to demoralize but to help you grow as a writer and find joy in the process.
Cover (5 Marks)
Awarded 5
I love the cover. It does well to acknowledge the characters of the book and it has the mystic yet almost regal appeal. I love the fitting quote "Our Destiny is Woven by The Strings of Fate". Well done!
Title (5 Marks)
Awarded 5
It feels so mysterious that I cannot help but be intrigued. Well done Author-nim!
Blurb (5 Marks)
Awarded 5
I love the blurb. It does well to entice readers to read it without revealing the entire plot of the story. I am excited for a royalty AU which I honestly do not read that much of.
Pace (5 Marks)
Awarded 4
The book is still being updated during this period of judging. With the chapters that I have read thus far, I believe that it is paced and structured well. The author has done well to research and build up the tension between Hyesoo and Yoongi.
My advice is to reflect the passing of time organically. Most medieval wars take a long time to assemble and reach the meeting point (draw upon the battles in lord of the rings) so maybe use that period to discuss the relationship Hyesoo has with Prince Jungkook. Let us readers relate to Jungkook and have us pity him when his kiss was rejected by Hyesoo.
Plot (20 Marks)
Awarded 19
I love the plot! I do not know why I expected a time travel AU from period Korea to modern Korea but I did.
I love the regal feel of the book. I find it refreshing to have the princess demand to join in training as she challenged the mindset of the men who view women as fragile beings. It will be an empowering theme to explore because King Hoseok regards his sister as a hero and allowed her to go to battle. Which is not the norm for any kingdom to practice.
I would want to know how that rule came about because apart from the mention of a weak heart that is all that is being revealed.
I want to read a backstory for Prince Jungkook and obviously, I want to know more about Yoongi and about his reign over his kingdom and how he fare as compared to his father's rule.
Character Development (15 Marks)
Awarded 14
I know that the author has researched extensively to craft the personalities of the characters in the book. This is reflected in the characters that seemed to effortlessly interact with one another.
I like the arch in Yoongi's personality. It seemed that he was intrigued and attracted by the personality of the princess based on their first meeting and it has developed over time as the feelings change from attraction to protectiveness.
I would also like to know more about Hyesoo's self-sacrificing character. She seemed to be intrinsically motivated to problem solve and sacrifice herself for the betterment of others. I want to know more about her philosophy of life. What motivates her?
Grammar (20 Marks)
Awarded 20
I have read the chapters and found the texts to be close to impeccable. There were no issues with basic conventions of writing. The author adheres well to the rules of spelling, punctuation and capitalization. Well done!
Writing Style (15 Marks)
Awarded 14
It is not easy to write a historical AU set in Korea. And I daresay writing a royalty fanfiction is more than difficult but the author has done well to breathe life through the chapters.
The story has good bones. Work on describing the surroundings. For example when Yoongi and Hyesoo took a night ride into the woods. Talk about how the symphony of crickets in the background seemed to grow louder as they moved deeper into the woods, how the night air seemed cooler at night and how the darkness seemed to blanket the skies but their path was illuminated by the full moon. How Yoongi’s warmth made her heart thump wildly… build that anticipation, that sexual tension. So that when she eventually recoils in surprise, in would be shock to the readers.
Overall Enjoyment (10 Marks)
Awarded 9
It might be a personal preference but I am not a fan of too many graphics in a text and would prefer to read it instead. To me, it distracted me from the text although I do understand the need for references. Maybe, you can add it as part of the author's note at the end of the chapters.
I do applaud the author for their extensive research which is evident in the images curated as well as the research on the use of honorifics to address one another. I have read enough to have my head reel in old English.
While the above sentence is constructed grammatically well. I cannot help but wonder how it would look like being phrased differently for texture. For example:
"Speak! I beseech you!" The Queen Mother screeched as she pushed Hyesoo.
Research into using old English or Shakespearean words to build the regal historical aesthetics. In all, I think that the book has done well in execution. Well done author-nim!
Total: 95/100
Judge: Leoqueen108
Author: _phoenix77_
Book: August D
Cover: 4/5
The cover was ordinary, could've been more effective with relevancy to the story along with a female face claim
Title: 4/5
The title was good but felt like it was too simple
Blurb: 5/5
The gist about the story was perfect.
Pace: 5/5
The pace was perfect!
Plot: 19/20
The plot screamed royalty which got my attention. The plot drives everyone crazy literally.
Character development: 13/15
The character development was not much in the story but as it is a royal+thriller, Character development is necessary.
Grammar: 18/20
The grammar of the story was good except the minor errors which I noticed
Writing style: 15/15
The writing style was really really good! It was neither complicated nor plain.
Overall Enjoyment: 9/10
As a reader, I've read stories from a lot of genres and in royalty genre i would rate this story in top 5
Good job in overall!
Total: 92/100
Judge: Leoqueen108 Leoqueen108
Author: bangtanrewinds bangtanrewinds
Book:
Cover: 5/5
The cover was stunning and aesthetic!
Title: 5/5
The title was perfect!
Blurb: 5/5
The gist about the story was perfect again!
Pace: 4/5
The pace was good but could've been a bit speeder.
Plot: 19/20
The plot was angst+drama which got my attention. Great job with the plot!
Character development: 13/15
The character development was not much in the story but as it is a angst+drama, it is understandable.
Grammar: 18/20
The grammar of the story was good but it had minor errors which I noticed
Writing style: 15/15
The writing style was really really good!
Overall Enjoyment: 8/10
As a reader, I've read stories from a lot of genres and in angst genre i would rate this story in top 5
Excellent work in overall!
Total: 92/100
Judge: Leoqueen108
Author: borabts613
Book: The graveyard mystery
Cover: 4/5
The cover was ordinary, could've been more effective with relevancy to the story along with a female face claim
Title: 4/5
The title was ordinary. It could've been better
Blurb: 5/5
The gist about the story was perfect without any spoilers.
Pace: 4/5
The pace was good but could've been a bit speeder.
Plot: 19/20
The plot was a unique thriller which got my attention. Applauses for coming up with the plot!
Character development: 13/15
The character development was not much in the story but as it is a thriller+mystery, Character development is necessary and the story justified it
Grammar: 18/20
The grammar of the story was good but it had minor errors which I noticed
Writing style: 15/15
The writing style was really really good! It was neither complicated nor plain.
Overall Enjoyment: 8/10
As a reader, I've read stories from a lot of genres and in mystery genre i would rate this story in top 5
Good job in overall!
Total: 90/100
Judge: fluffy_dandruff
Author: strawberry1d
Book Title: The Stoic Custodian
I believe that every book has the potential to be great given editing and research. My remarks are never to demoralize but to help you grow as a writer and find joy in the process.
Cover (5 Marks)
Awarded 4
I like the cover. It is undeniable that this is a Min Yoongi-centric fanfiction. The placement of the title and the author’s name is legible. It would be a nice touch to add a short sentence from your book or your blurb to further advertise your book, especially for those who are reading from a desktop.
Title (5 Marks)
Awarded 5
Stoic really suits the demeanour of the main character and I think that this is really relatable to the story. Well done!
Blurb (5 Marks)
Awarded 3
I like that you incorporated parts from your book in your blurb. I feel that blurbs introduce readers to your book and it should be impactful and enticing and yet it must not reveal too much of your plot. Personally, I think you did well to showcase this.
My advice is to edit the grammar, punctuation and sentence construction in the paragraphs of the blurb. It will look more polished and well structured.
Pace (5 Marks)
Awarded 5
I believe that the story flows at a good and even pace where it piques the interest of the readers. I personally love the theme of “Undercover Employer” and you did well to introduce Yoongi the CEO and then Suga the janitor.
I appreciate the way the author takes the time to provide the backstory of the main characters which provides opportunities for the readers to get to know them and relate to them better.
Plot (20 Marks)
Awarded 17
As mentioned, I love the plot. Maybe I do not read too much chaebol or CEO AUs but I was intrigued with the storyline. I like how the story unfolds with a reluctant CEO who was not excited to participate in the documentary and found himself curious to know more about y/n.
I like that y/n is a strong-willed character who attempts to fully embrace the obstacles set out for her. I appreciate that the author introduces the character organically and we get to see her personality as she interacts with different people in the story.
The cleaning crew are just as eccentric in the book which I personally love. It adds ‘flavour’ to the story and I am an advocate for strong supporting characters. I strongly believe that a great fanfiction is where you can pluck any character from the story and have them unravel their own life, in tangent with the main plot. And I believe the author did well in researching the characters, their names, their personalities and their motives. So I applaud the efforts and the amount of research that goes behind breathing life into the characters.
Character Development (15 Marks)
Awarded 15
I love Yoongi’s character development. He started the chapter as a reluctant participant but throughout the chapters of the book addressed the blossoming curiosity with y/n and I love how effortless it is.
The author did well to build the personalities of the characters through thoughtful backstory and y/n was represented well in the book. We understood her motive to work at a recording company and that was addressed to the readers while Suga/Yoongi had to grapple with the idea of why y/n would want to work in a company that does not acknowledge her presence even though is more than qualified. Well done on crafting these characters.
Grammar (20 Marks)
Awarded 16
I noticed an inconsistency in the use of tenses throughout the chapters. While it does not affect the storyline, editing it would make it feel more polished.
Writing Style (15 Marks)
Awarded 14
I like the way the author expresses themselves. It has a chick-lit approach that is relatable and enjoyable. I find it similar to watching a kdrama. It is a compelling read. Well done on this.
Overall Enjoyment (10 Marks)
Awarded 6
I love the direction of the book. It is an enjoyable read with a good cast. The pacing is also perfect with enough tension and excitement.
As much as I love the story, the attached pictures distracted me from the storyline. I understand the need for references but I think describing it in words would make it far more interesting. Maybe add it as part of the author's note at the end of the chapter.
Work on some minor sentence construction and grammar and it would be perfect book. Good luck author-nim!
Total: 85/100