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𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙬𝙤 | 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙡, 𝙞'𝙢 𝙞𝙣 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙡
y/n's pov
The first day of school. It was a miserable start to a miserable week that led to a miserable year. But yet, it was something almost everybody on the planet earth pretended to love.
Just goes to show how fake the world is.
I, for one, didn't pretend. I admitted to anyone who asked in the world around me that I absolutely hated school. It wasn't the fact that it was hard, or the teachers were rude, or any of that bullshit. It was just that it all seemed kind of...pointless. To me, at least.
I mean, everyone goes to high school. One half out of those students go on to college, others might not've had the funds to go, maybe they just didn't want to go, but the point is, half of them didn't go. Then, out of the ones that went to college, half of those kids graduate. And out of those kids, only half of them go on to be successful. So what's that mean? Less than a quarter of kids from high school go on to be successful people with successful jobs and a successful family.
You're telling me that's all supposed to be worth it to be one of the very select few that are successful? Yeah right. The things I would do with that four years of extra time. The things I'm gonna do.
So with high school, I apply what I have to do to get by. I've been bullshitting this shit since I became a freshman. Light work.
"Damn, B. He really jacked ya shit enough to where they had to put a cast on it?" Tristian questioned, flicking my cast as I opened my locker, putting in some new books for the school year. Him, Major, and Azilia all stood behind me, since we had went to their lockers before. I hit his hand away from mine, the dark blue cast hitting his finger harder than I anticipated causing him to hiss in pain and pull his finger close to his chest, cradling it. Inside the cast, my wrist was still throbbing in pain and the painkillers really weren't working at the moment.
"We're sorry, at least one of us should've came down with you." Azilia apologized, but I shrugged it off. I couldn't really fault anyone but Nate for the incident. But I also knew he'd get off Scott free, so I kept my mouth shut. At least to the feds and doctors.
"Eh, I don't think anything could've really saved me from pretty boy's wrath. I'm pretty sure he saw me flirting with Maddy, plus we were all high off our asses. It probably wouldn't make much of a difference if one of you guys came with me." I said, finally finishing with my books and we all turned away from my locker, walking in the opposite direction of my school's version of the plastics, while my eyes lingered a little longer than they should've on a certain Latina.
"Well now that the apologies are out the way, we need to figure another way to get to school. Y/n was the only one with a crazy car and we showed up on fucking skateboards today. Definitely lost popularity points for that one." Major moved in front of us, waving the skateboard he was holding in his left hand in our faces to emphasized his point.
"Nigga please, you do realize you're literally the only one who actually gives two shits about the popularity monarchy." Tristian said, swiftly moving so he was walking in front, in toe with Major, while me and Azilia stood farther behind the two but still within the same length to look like a group.
"Actually though. Sorry Major, but as soon as college hits that bullshit will fly smooth out the window." I said, siding with Tristian easily on this topic.
"Also, if we're still doing the 'cool points' thing, some points were definitely deducted by walking around with skateboard instead of putting it in your locker." Azilia added in to our point. Major groaned, turning around and stomping off in the direction of his locker, muttering something about how no one ever sides with him. Meanwhile Tristian called after him that it was because he was never right.
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I had ended up skipping out on my one of my classes. I know it was the first day of school and all, but I actually have a logical reason. That reason being that I was in hella physical pain. Through the span of two days with my tainted wrist, I had flew through the pain killers the doctors gave me. Which, I have to admit, probably wasn't my healthiest decision. But since I was out of the pain pills, I had to find another way to deal with the pain.
ie. weed. 10/10 recommend. Best pain killer in the business.
I'd much rather be smoking with my friends, but they all had to make "good impressions" their first day of school. Couldn't get caught skipping. So there I was, alone with Iyanna in the school bathroom smoking some weed. Then a loud slam happened, coming from the entrance of the bathroom, causing me to jump and let go of the blunt. Sending it to the ground.
"Fuck." I muttered, quickly stomping out it out and dropping down to pick it up, not paying attention to whoever had just entered. "This day is ass, bro."
"Rue, it's me." My head snapped up at Lexi's voice. Not because it was Lexi's but because she was talking about my cousin. Which made me realize the girl who rushed in had been Rue. Soon the door to the stall opened, and Rue stood by it, still not coming out completely. "Are you okay?"
"You're so fucking stupid, Lexi." Rue responded, walking around the concerned girl. It made me feel a little bad for her but Rue basically bypassed the poor girl's whole existence, other than that sentence.
"Why?"
"'Cause I already flushed everything down the fucking toilet." Bing-fucking-go. She's still using. I almost scoffed at that but remembered I was supposed to be almost invisible. It was hard to be surprised though, what more should I had expected.
"Well, I just came to check on you."
"I don't want- I don't want you to fucking check on me," Rue stuttered, slapping her hands onto one of the stall doors, before continuing. "Whether I'm fine or I'm not fine. What difference are you going to make? Are you going to give me some life advice? You gonna fucking help me?" Beginning to walk away from Lexi, and also away from my direction.
"Well, you're like one of my best friends."
"Give me a fucking break. 'Cause we went to fucking pre-school together?" Rue asked, spinning around on her heel. "That does not make us best fucking friends."
"You say all this but what happens in three days when you knock on my door asking me to piss in some Tylenol bottle?" Lexi bit back, and ooh this shit was almost getting good. Like a movie. I know I shouldn't be like this cause it's a serious issue but like, where's the popcorn. "What? You're gonna say the opposite? That we've known each other since pre-school and we're best friends? It's like you have a split personality disorder, sorry if I miss the old you." This time, Lexi was the one to turn away from the conversation, walking out of the bathroom.
I pushed myself away from the wall, going to make my presence known to Rue when I felt a weight on my chest push me back against the flat surface.
"Woah there tiger." I looked down to see Iyanna, who I forgot was even there. "Ruth over there is already pissed. You think talking to someone, she didn't know was in here who also wasn't supposed to know she was still doing drugs, is gonna put her in any better mood?" Knowing she was right, I sucked my teeth and smacked her hand down from off my chest. "Mad because you know I'm right."
Rue pushed herself off of the counter and left the bathroom. Once I knew the coast was clear, I made my move and walked around Iyanna, heading for the exit. Taking my chances, I made a left turn almost bumping into Lexi, but I was able to stop myself before we ran into each other.
"So she does that to you too, huh?" I asked, leaning against the hallway wall. Lexi leaned against the wall too, but on her side instead of her back, giving me her attention as her face scrunched up in confusion.
"What do you mean?"
"That piss in the cup thing? She's done it to me hella times but not since she's been back. I think it's because she knows I won't do it anymore. Sometimes you just gotta know when to say no. I could be wrong, but you seem like the type of girl who has a hard time saying that word." I said. Lexi laughed, nodding her head yes regardless. "Just remember that no is always gon be shorter than yes." Once again, her face scrunched up into confusion that I caught. "Their both one syllable but, one has more letters than the other. Which means ones quicker to say, even by a millisecond." I explained further. She nodded, bringing up her hand ti swipe some hair out of her face. Then the bell rang, making both me and her jump a little. Glancing at the clock ahead of me, I leaned down to give the girl a very short hug. "Don't be too effected by Rue's words. An addict is an addict. I doubt she knew half of what she's saying."
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"Knock knock, bitch." I greeted, looking right at the security camera of Fez's house. Waiting for someone to answer the door, I pulled out my phone scrolling on Pinterest for my next art inspiration, it was the easiest way to do it. The sound of the wooden door in front of me creaking caused me to look away from my phone and up to Fezco, the one who had opened the door.
Me and Fez were cool. In a way, I saw him as my older brother. He kept his eye on me, even when I told him I didn't need it, and especially when I didn't want it. Rue had been the one to introduce us once I had moved here. It didn't take long for me to realize he was a drug dealer. I had some ties with my own back in Detroit, even getting him supplied once by old timer Big Fifty. I heard it was one of her last deals before she quit.
"What's good, man?" I said, sliding my phone in my pocket so I could dap him up properly. Luckily, the hand that I had broke wasn't my dominant one. Iyanna, who had silently stood by my side this whole time, gave the ginger a salute before sliding pass him and into his house.
"Chillin', wassup with you and that cast?" The man asked, pointing to the caster. I shrugged it off, causing him to do the same and walk off into the house. I took that as my sign to follow after him, closing the door behind me. Once I was fully in, I saw Iyanna had already made herself comfortable, sitting on his couch and eating some chips. "Look, you gon have to be in and out today, I got some people coming and ion want you here when they are, no funny shit."
"Sounds good to me." I told him, and with that he left for the back room. By this time, he already knew what I wanted, so unless I ever told him different all I had to do was show up and pay.
As I waited for my weed, I took a seat on the couch next to Iyanna, reaching my hand into her bag for some Doritos. She handed me the whole bag, standing up and going to the bathroom. Ironically, as soon as that door closed, somebody else started banging the front door. I saw Ashtray come from another room and to where I was, not yet opening the front door.
"Yo, who is it?" Fez called from the back.
"Rue." Ashtray spoke into a walkie talkie, causing me to turn my head towards the front where he was standing.
"Nah bro, tell her to come back later."
At this point I kinda of already knew they were still selling to her, and I couldn't find it in me to be mad. At the end of the day, business is business, it wasn't necessarily their fault. I could only really blame Rue for being reckless with what they sold to her.
Rue came in, looking at me with a slight face of confusion before she walked to the back by Fez.
"Yo, too late, bitch."
"Hold on, hold on, you can't be in here right now." Fez immediately stood up at the sight of her, following her around the house.
"I see you cash money." Rue replied as a joke. I started to pay little to no attention to the two, pulling out my phone and playing jet pack joyride.
"Nah, nah."
"I just need some OCs and some socks."
"I can't help you right now, you gotta go. Yo, Rue, I ain't fucking playing with you right now, come on. You can't be in here."
"Look, Fez, I'm fucking drenched, okay? And...I'm out of drugs. So...Don't be a dick. Plus I just saw y/n here and you weren't rushing her out." The two continued going back and forth, my ears only perked up when I was brought into the situation but Fez quickly dismissed the topic each time. They ended up in the living room where I was, Rue laying in the couch with her feet up in my lap.
"Give me drugs." Rue muttered from her place on the couch. I could feel Fez burning a hole in my head but I chose to ignore it, playing the game.
"This is dead serious." He said, dropping a baggie of weed into my lap. I took it and stuffed it into my sweatpants pocket, hearing Rue scoff.
"Oh, but you ain't got shit?" She questioned. Feeling the tension of the situation, I decided I would at least try to get Rue out of here, since she was my cousin. Opposite the weed, I took my phone and put it in my pocket too, moving Rue's legs off me and standing up.
"Come on, Rue. We don't even gotta go no where far, I'll take you up the street to Frank's for a min, then we'll come right back when Fez's people roll out." Frank's was a diner we used to go to all the time when I first moved here, coincidentally it had been owned by Azillia's family. Still, Rue shook her head, stubbornly, not moving from her place.
"Yo, Rue-" Fez was cut off by the sound of his phone vibrating. We all looked over at it, even Rue leaned up to glance over at it. Fez looked between us and the phone before speaking directly towards Rue. "I could fucking kill you right now." He picked up he walkie talkie speaking into it before he started to pick up wads of cash and putting it in some paper bag. Then, the ginger came around a pulled out a gun from between the cushion of the couch I head been sitting on, loading it and keeping it pointed down in his hand.
Even though I knew Fez would never shoot me, on purpose at least, hence the gun pointing downwards, even the sight of the weapon caused my heart rate to speed up. Fez placed his hand over my shoulder, giving it a squeeze which I guess was his best version of comfort.
After one particular hotbox session I had with him, where both of us were extremely high, I had ended up confessing to him the real reason I had moved. Even though it was a short, and almost meaningless talk, both Fez and I remembered that session, but both of us also never spoke on it. Though, his hand on my shoulder still told me that he knew I didn't fuck around with guns.
"Look, I'm serious. Just stay right here, keep your mouth shut and be cool. Both of y'all." After that it was silence. Fez hid the gun, Rue sat up in the corner of the couch, and I sat in my corner of the couch, glaring at her. All I wanted was some weed.
Soon the door to the front was opened once more by Ash, and in walked someone I knew as Mouse. Everyone knew him, so it wasn't that I knew him personally. He just had a recognizable ugly ass face, plus Fez had talked to me about him before. Him and his minions stalked their way into the living room.
"So these your bitches?" He asked, crouching down so he was closer to each of our faces.
"Nah, bruh, them like my little sisters." Fez answered, easily. Maybe if I wasn't too busy shitting myself, I would've smiled.
"Well, hello there, little sis." Mouse greeted, getting on once of his knees and outstretching his hand towards Rue. This put me even more on edge, I could tell he was already taking a special interest in Rue, which only made me hate this situation even more. Yes, I was mad at Rue, but at the end of day, I still wouldn't wish anything bad on her. And this was way past bad.
Still, Rue placed her hand in his abnormally large one, and he brought it up towards his mouth, placing a light kiss on it that caused me to cringe.
"My name is Mouse. It's a pleasure to meet you." The man then turned to look at me, causing me shift in my place. I know he seen it, cause the corner of his mouth quirked up into a smirk. "What happened to your arm, lil sis? Big bro not protecting you like he 'posed to?" I didn't answer, causing his face to drop a little. "Hm?" I knew that was his way of saying I better talk to him, but he made me uncomfortable. Instinctively, my eyes moved to meet Fez's who gave me a subtle nod.
"Shit happens." I answered, simply. He nodded, looking back at Fez before he bent down, his hands placed on either side of me, almost like he was trapping me in. He leaned in close to me and spoke into my ear, while my hands were already clenched by my sides.
"If you rolled wit me, shit like that would never happen." Mouse whispered, placing a small kiss right under my ear, causing me to close my eyes push myself deeper into the couch, as if that would make me any smaller than I already was.
"Yo, back up off her bro." I heard Fez's voice. Mouse shifted above me, laughing a little bit as he lifted off of me. I could feel his breath still on my neck from when he laughed, even though his presence was gone from in front of me. Calming myself down, I opened my eyes, automatically making eye contact with Fez since he was directly across from me. Once again, he gave me another subtle nod, but this one was to calm me down, make me feel safe. And in a way, it did.
"Yo, Custer, toss me that bag." Mouse ordered, now standing behind the couch. The minion, I now knew as Custer, did as he was told, throwing him the duffle bag. "All right, check it. I got a 100 OP-OC 80s, 500 Xanny Bars, 500 20s of Addy. I'm low on Vikes, so if you wanna cop some Vikes, you better cop 'em today, cause I got, like, 50 left. I got a quap of that Cali medicinal, and an ounce of Molly." He said, slapping down everything he named onto the table. "Custer, what's the math on that?"
"Uh, 25, 15, and 1,100. 35, 77, and 25...7,750."
Fez took out the paper bag he had just stuffed, and pulled it out his back pocket, tossing it to the man named after a rodent.
"Sure you don't want no Fentanyl?" Mouse checked.
"Nah, man, I'm cool off that shit. There's too many OD's and ion want the heat." Fez denied. Mouse rounded the couch again, coming and sitting in between me and Rue.
"How about you, lil sis? You ever try Fentanyl?"
"No." Rue answered. Even though his attention wasn't on me, the closer Mouse got to me the more I wanted to leave. My fingers had started to pick on the skin around my cuticles, peeling cuts that had yet to heal. Iyanna had came out the bathroom, but no one's head except mine turned to her. She leaned against the wall, and just her being out here was almost enough to calm me.
"Yo, for real, bruh." Fez's voice brought me back to the conversation at hand. "I don't want her fucking around wit that shit."
Mouse ignored him, going closer to Rue and muttering something into her ear. I just kept staring at the two. I don't know what I expected that to do, but I was doing it. Then he pulled away from her, getting what I'm assuming was the drug, and swiping the tiniest drop onto his pocket knife.
"Yo, she said she good, bro." I jumped in, putting my hand between her and the knife. Almost immediately, I regretted my decision, because his attention was back on me.
"What? You jealous, you want some?" He asked, moving the knife so it was now in front of my mouth. I eased myself farther back into the couch and away from the drug, but he only brought it closer. "Go ahead."
Looking anywhere but at the weapon itself, shook my head, not being able to verbalize my choice. It was on the tip of my tongue but for the life of me I couldn't force the words out. Luckily, before Mouse could react, Rue grabbed onto his wrist and guided it to her again, her other hand finding and gripping mine. At this moment, I knew she meant well.
Even if I didn't want to admit it, Rue had a better chance of surviving the drug out of the two of us. The only drug I've ever taken was weed. Clearly, she's done harder shit.
So, she closed her eyes as if she was saying a prayer, squeezing the life out my hand before she took the knife into her mouth, taking the Fentanyl with it. Within a couple minutes, she started leaning to the side, eventually laying all the way down so that her head was in my lap. I wanted to cry, in these types of situations that was always the solution. Curl into ball and sob until the situation was over. But it was obvious to me I couldn't do that this time around. So instead, I pretended I was somewhere else, anywhere else but here.
But because it was so clear that I wasn't, this reality was harder to block out than the others.
"It hits quick." Mouse said, bringing Rue's legs to lay over his lap. He glanced at me, giving me a smirk that made me smile uneasily towards him, scared of what his reaction would be if I did nothing at all. "You sure you don't want none, lil sis?" I shook my head, staring down at my cousin, instead of looks at his tatted face. "You like that?" He asked, directing his attention back down to her. Rue let out a hum in response, seemingly liking the feeling. "You want a couple of patches, girl?"
"Ok." She agreed, clearly out of it. Mouse pulled some out of what seemed to be thin air to me, lifting up the pant leg of Rue's shorts and tucking them there.
"That's gonna cost you 300." Mouse stated, causing Rue to groan in response. "Come on, pay up, lil sis."
"I only have two dollars."
"I said 300." He repeated. Once again, the voices around me seemed to tone down as I started to block out the situation I was in, my eyes zoning in on Mouse's hand. A sickening feeling came to my stomach, seeing the way he was rubbing on my older cousin's thigh. Feeling a hand lay on my shoulder, I jumped away from the contact, looking up to see it had only been my sister. Iyanna brought her hand up as she inhaled deeply, pushing the same hand down as she exhaled. I followed her example, paying no mind to the people and conversation around us until I finally calmed down again.
"Damn, big brother must love you. It's gon cost you 600 now, man." I heard from Mouse once I had tuned back in again, their voices slowly fading back in to their original volume.
"Damn. You gonna do me like that, bruh?" Fez complained, still pulling out the money anyway.
"Yeah, Ima do you like that. Straight up. Lemme get that shit." Mouse said, snatching the rest of the 600 out of Fez's hands. He recounted the money, his smirk that I was coming well acquainted with coming back onto his face. "Always a pleasure doing business with you." The man finally stood up, rounding the corner to the hall before he backtracked, turning to look at me. It looked as if you could see an idea come into his mind on his face.
Mouse glanced around the room, his eyes landing on the table before he walked over and got a pen from it, coming 'round the couch again to be in front of me. He snatched my cast up, causing me to wince from the soreness of it, before he started writing something on it. When he was done, he bent down, planting a kiss on my cheek that left me feeling as if I needed a whole new face implant. "See you soon, lil sis." He mumbled, and finally, with that, he left.
A silence overstretched us as Fez stood, taking the patches from Rue and handing them over to Ashtray, mumbling to him some instructions.
"I'll pay you back." I said, speaking about the 600 from Rue. He shook his head, basically saying there was no need.
"Just go home and get cleaned up." He instructed, already starting to sort out the drugs he had just bought.
"But what about-"
"I'll take care of her, go home, y/n." I know he really was just scared Mouse would come back and I would still be here. But I also knew that he would never admit that. So, for his sake, I left. Knowing at the very least, Rue was in good hands.
Who knows better how to handle addicts than a drug dealer?
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speakeasy: the shit i can't wait to put y'all and y/n through i'm so excited, ik there hasn't been much of Maddy but there will be next chapter