Diego POV.
Seven hundred and twelve days before, my brother died and I still remember it like it was yesterday. Actually, I remember it better than yesterday.
All three of us were at home that morning. Eli had come over the previous night and we watched a bootleg of Heathers once again. By then, Carlos had memorized the entire choreography of Candy Store and danced along while Eli recorded and I laughed my ass off. Eli ended up staying the night, which they never did and they stayed up all night talking with Carlos after they sent me to sleep. I still don't know what they talked about, but maybe I'm not supposed to know.
That morning Eli left for school and Carlos had to go out on business, while I was left alone to do schoolwork. Eli made worksheets for me every week and while I hated doing them more, than anything, I knew I had to. Whenever Eli was over, they'd make it fun with jokes and dance breaks, but when they weren't there it was just pure torture.
I was in my room when Carlos came back and started to warm up our lunch. Carlos was the worst cook I ever knew so whenever Eli came over they cooked enough to last us until they came back. Whenever Eli was away for a long time we basically just ate instant noodles or other things even Carlos couldn't fuck up. For some reason, Eli had been too tired to cook the previous night, so Carlos had to improvise in the kitchen, which never lead to anything good.
After some time, I heard someone coming in, but I knew it couldn't be Eli so I just continued with the doodles I was drawing at the corner of my worksheet. Carlos always told me to stay in my room if someone I didn't know was there. I still knew what happened. I knew what Carlos did for work and he even taught me the basics, but he never wanted me to be a part of that life.
Still, that time it felt weird. Like something was off. Maybe it was just my brain shaping the memory, trying to get me to blame myself for not doing anything, but I think I knew something bad was going to happen. Soon enough, I heard yelling coming from the living room, but I didn't bulge. Carlos had yelled at people before, sometimes they wouldn't pay enough or it was someone he had already cut off. One time he sent me to my room and I heard him and Eli yelling like that.
carlos yelled at the other guy to get out, and then I heard it. The awful booming sound that would haunt my nightmares for years to come.
It was just like they always say. Time moved in slow motion, as I was trying to process what had happened. I was frozen in my seat, trying to tell myself it wasn't what I thought it was. It wasn't until the front door was slammed shut, that I regained my ability to move. I knew what it meant. If it had been Carlos with the gun, he wouldn't have left.
I ran into the living room only to find Carlos laying on the floor with pints of blood oozing out of his side.
"Carar!" I screamed as I hurried to his side.
I fell to my knees next to him still trying to tell myself it wasn't real. I pressed down at the wound as hard as I possibly could but Carlos hardly even reacted. I started crying uncontrollably as I hastily searched for my phone.
"Stay with me, Car!" I screamed in shock pressing down on the first number on my phone screen.
The three times my phone buzzed before it was picked up felt like an eternity. What if they wouldn't pick up?
"Hi Die, is everything okay?" Eli finally answered on the other side. I could hear the concern in their voice immediately. They knew I wouldn't be calling them in school unless it was an emergency.
"Carlos was shot! What do I do? I don't know what to do. Please, Eli, help me!" I yelled in between cries, not knowing what to say. I was shocked that I managed to say anything at all nevertheless understandable sentences.
"What! Diego, just stay calm. I'm coming over, but you're going to have to call 911," Eli said, quickly composing themselves.
"There's a lot of drugs in the house," I said not knowing what to do.
Carlos told me never to call 911, but he was dying in my arms. My clothes were already sucking up his bright red blood.
"It doesn't matter. I'll be there in five minutes, okay? We'll take care of it. Now, you need to call 911," Eli called out of breath.
"Okay," I cried, before hanging up the phone and dialing the one number my brother told me to stay away from.
Eli POV.
I ran out of the classroom with no explanation to anyone there. I didn't even care what they would think or what my parents would do. I raced through the hallways in pure shock, not allowing myself to think of anything other than a way to get to Diego. As I pushed the heavy front door open I started scanning the parking lot for something. As if God would finally be on my side, I saw a motorbike pretty similar to Carlos'. He had taught me to hotwire his bike in case of an emergency, so I attacked the bike's wires praying that I'd remember anything he told me. I was just about to give up when the bike roared alive and I was on my way.
I raced down the streets of Chicago thanking whatever God was up there, that everyone was already at work. My mind was completely empty as I stared ahead, not a single thought behind my frozen eyes. I dodged cars like a pro, swerving from their way as they honked already far behind me, but I didn't care anymore.
I ran up the stairs three at a time and violently yanked the door open.
"Diego!" I yelled running towards the living room.
"Eli? Please help," he cried with puffy eyes sitting next to his brother.
I turned to Carlos lying on the floor, blood covering his torso. Diego was pressing at the wound with a 911 operator on speakerphone, but I could see him breaking apart completely. I quickly ran to Diego's side grabbing a towel on my way. I quickly placed the towel on Carlos' wound pushing Diego's hands away from him with a nod and a forced smile.
"It's gone be okay," I said to Diego hoping that it would change something. I continued pressing as I quickly whispered to Diego, praying the 911 operator didn't hear me:
"Flush it."
Diego hesitantly stood up with his legs shaking but darted out of the room the second I shot him a glare. As soon as he was out of the room I focused back on Carlos. Diego shouldn't be there for that. He should have never had to see something like that.
"Carlos, stay with me buddy, okay?" I tried talking to the barely conscious Carlos. I quickly grabbed a book from the coffee table and pressed it against his wound under the towel, hoping that one of the things I was desperately trying would make a difference.
Carlos's eyes were barely open and I could see him trying his best to stay awake, but I knew the feeling. He was losing the battle. His pulse was only getting weaker as it slowed down making my heart skip another beat.
"Carlos, it's Eli, okay? You're gonna have to hold on, Buddy," I said tears forming in my eyes, but I wasn't going to let them fall.
"How far away are the paramedics, damn it?!" I yelled at the phone on my left, the emotion flowing out of me before I could stop it.
"Any minute now. Just keep applying pressure to the wound," the man responded with that monotone voice like he had so many better things to do.
"I don't need that bullshit I need a fucking number! How!? Fucking?! Long?!" I yelled in the scariest voice I had ever uttered.
"It's going to be another five minutes, sir."
Any other time, I would've been out of this world happy because someone called me sir, but not then. All I could hear was the words five minutes ringing in my head over and over again. I hung my head wanting to crawl up into a ball next to my dying brother. Carlos didn't have five minutes. I felt a tear trying to escape, but it disappeared as quickly as it had come. I forced every ounce of emotion back as far as I could possibly reach and threw it out. I wasn't going to be weak, I couldn't be.
"You can't go. Not now, okay? I need you, Diego needs you, so tough luck, you don't get to die," I said forcing a smile onto my lips. I wasn't scared anymore, I wasn't breaking down, and I didn't feel anything anymore. I had to survive so Diego could survive. I had to keep myself together so Carlos would have a chance at surviving.
Carlos' lips twitched into a shadow of a smile, but it quickly faded away. With that smile, Carlos closed his eyes for the last time. That's when it all truly stopped. Before that, everything was moving so fast, but right then, in those few seconds of silence, I lived an entire lifetime of memories.
"His pulse is gone," I said hurriedly to the 911 operator after waking myself up from somewhere far away.
"Okay, it's time to start doing CPR now. Do you know how?" the operator responded way too calmly.
"Yes, I do," I said quickly getting into position.
"Diego!" I screamed at the top of my lungs and in milliseconds he was by my side.
"I'm so sorry about this, but you have to keep putting pressure on the wound for me, okay?" I said with a sorry look, trying to smile at the boy.
I was truly sorry. No kid should be put in that situation, especially not Diego. I wanted nothing more than to protect him from that and keep him as far away from the situation as I could. Sadly, that wasn't an option.
I checked the pulse once again, praying, that it had miraculously come back, but I knew that to be impossible.
I felt my brother's sternum bend below my palms with every push I did. With each push, I silently cried for him to come back to us. It felt wrong. I was hurting my brother and I wanted to stop, I really did, but I couldn't. I still didn't let myself cry. Not a single tear left my eyes as I prayed for the first time in a long time. Then, I felt something crack under my palms. I let out a cry that filled the apartment and left an echo throughout the building.
"His sternum broke, do I keep going?" I hurriedly asked praying that I could stop. Later I blamed myself for that. I wanted to stop. Maybe I didn't do it right, because I didn't want to do it. Maybe, I could have saved him if I was just been a bit stronger.
"Yes, keep going," the operator said calmly, and so I did.
I have no idea how long it took the paramedics to arrive, but what I do know, is that Carlos was long gone by then.
We rode to the hospital in the ambulance. Diego held onto Carlos' hand the whole way, as he broke down in my arms. I didn't shed a tear the whole way there, I didn't cry when Diego fell to the floor of the hospital crying out to his brother, I didn't cry when they told us what we already knew, I didn't even cry when I was finally alone. I just stared at myself in the mirror trying to search my body for any emotion but found none.
I stayed with Diego for a week. I didn't go to school and every night I sneaked out and slept at Carlos'. Slowly Diego started getting better. I got him to go out for the first time a week after Carlos' death. He started eating more and talking to me without breaking down. He still cried every single day for a month, but it got easier.
As Diego got better, I got worse. I let myself fall apart completely. I started taking more drugs and when Carlos wasn't there anymore, I didn't come back up. Mia and Diego tried their best, but I didn't let them see even half of it.
My parents ultimately did find out about me skipping school and sent me to camp once again. the only good thing that place ever did for anyone was that it made me cut back on the drugs. Even if they did drug me all the time, I couldn't do it to myself.
Slowly I got better too but I don't think either Diego or me will ever truly get over that day.
Me and Gabriele were impatiently waiting at the gate for Diego's plane to land. It was over forty minutes late, which wasn't a surprise, but it meant standing there for way too long. Gabriele wasn't hiding his nervousness well, but I couldn't blame him. I hadn't really thought about how weird it must be for my brothers to meet.
After, what felt like an eternity of waiting the plane started unpacking. I stood on my heels trying to spot my little brother in the crowd and finally, I saw the familiar black curls at everyone's shoulder level. As soon as Diego noticed me, he took off running. I just laughed at the kid and opened my arms for him to jump into. This time I was ready enough not to fall back at the impact, but I still almost lost my balance as Diego charged at me.
I held him tight once again with a huge grin spread across my lips. After setting him down, I quickly ruffled his hair much to his dislike.
"What's up shorty?" I asked with a grin.
"Fuck off," Diego huffed fixing his hair back to its original glory.
"Diego, Gabriele, Gabriele, Diego," I introduced the two. I still wasn't able to get my face back to its normal poker face.
Diego just gave him a cold nod in response earning a jab to the ribs. He wasn't the most open person when it came to new people and at some point, he grew protective over me, which I found absolutely hilarious.
"Behave you little shit," I said with a smirk before started walking towards the car.
Diego was only traveling with his trusty backpack we got him when he was six and his friends went to school. Even tho he didn't go, I wanted him to feel as included as he could so me and Carlos saved up enough for a cool, navy blue, schoolbag.
As we got to the car, Diego had the exact same reaction as me the first time I saw how rich my brothers were. His mouth was hanging wide open as he just gawked at the gorgeous Porsche in front of him.
"I told you they're filthy rich," I said ruffling his hair once more which got him out of his trance enough to smack my shoulder.
"So, how was your flight?" Gabriele asked as we drove through New York City.
We were taking a longer way to the house to show Diego a bit of the city on the way. I would never get used to it all.
"Well, I got pumped up to first class for some reason, so it was really cool. They gave me free shit!" he exclaimed.
I turned to look at Gabriele, who had a knowing smirk plastered on his face.
"Oh shit! Your brothers got me to first class?!" Diego yelled in shock as he read our faces.
"Hell yeah, we did," Gabriele laughed from the driver's seat.
"Thanks, bro," Diego said with a smile.
"By the way, fuck you for the loop-di-loop shit," he said turning to face me with a death glare.
I started laughing my ass off. I had already forgotten about that, but thinking about Diego preparing for a loop, that never came was the most hilarious thing I could think of.
Gabriele looked at me, in confusion, so I had to explain to him:
"I told him, that when the plane takes off, it does two loops in the air to stabilize or some shit."
Gabriele chuckled with me, as Diego was ready to burst with anger.
"Dude, I thought you were cool! Now, you're taking their side?" he huffed with a pout.
As we got closer to the house, I saw Diego's eyes widen at the mansions we passed by. Little did he know, the Borrelli house was ten times better than the ones before it.
When we got to the driveway, Diego was looking around like he had just landed in Wonderland. it was so funny to watch, but I was still getting used to it all too.
"Holy shit," he muttered as the car stopped before the victorian manor.
"I know right," I said pushing him on the shoulder.
"Now, I know, why you were so freaked out over this. This house is fucking huge!" Diego exclaimed earning a chuckle from Gabriele who was already walking up to the house.
As we walked in, Anna came over to welcome Diego preparing to take care of a load of bags.
"Hello, Mr, Borrelli, Eli, Mr. García. Let me get this for you, sir," she said picking up Diego's bag. I could see a shiver of sadness, maybe pity or empathy flash in her eyes as she looked at the poor boy and his almost broken backpack.
"Thank you," he said still completely flabbergasted.
"Thanks, Anna," I said with a smile, which she returned before disappearing somewhere into the house.
"Come on, let's go meet the others," I said grabbing Diego's elbow and leading him toward the living room.
All my brothers were sitting on the leather couches trying to act natural when it was obvious that they were waiting for us.
"Hiya guys! Meet Diego," I said walking over to the couches with Diego following me like a lost puppy.
"Hi," he just said still not letting go of his emotionless face.
"From oldest to youngest, that's Alessandro, Lorenzo, Matteo, Antonio, and you already met Gabriele," I said pointing at the boys.
Diego was treated with different versions of, 'hello' or 'welcome', which he just returned with a tight smile.
"Did you guys eat already?" I asked realizing, Diego probably hadn't eaten in a while.
"No we were waiting for you guys," Lorenzo said with a smile.
Matteo had made simple spaghetti and meatballs which I actually liked. He had learned to not do as creamy dishes as before, which might have been the nicest thing anyone had done for me in two years. All the little things, like that, showed me that they actually cared for me.
"So, you live on your own in Chicago?" Lorenzo asked as we were eating.
"I mean, yeah, but Eli always sends me money so I'm fine. Also, my downstairs neighbor takes care of me," Diego answered simply.
"What part of Chicago do you live in?" Matteo asked.
"West Garfield Park. I've lived there my whole life. It's pretty shitty, but you get used to it," he shortly answered with a shrug.
I know I shouldn't have been, but I was almost proud of him for not giving much away.
"Isn't that the really dangerous part of town?" Antonio asked suddenly concerned.
"I mean, I guess, but since I've lived there my whole life, I don't really get in trouble there," Diego said.
"So, what do you like to do?" Matteo asked while we ate.
"Eli really didn't tell you anything? I would be hurt, but I know them too well to expect anything else," Diego said turning to me with an angry face.
"I like to draw," they then said quietly.
They had picked up dancing around subjects from me, which I wasn't happy about. I know, I've taught the kid some pretty unhealthy habits, but I never meant to. He just saw me act like that his whole life and copied it.
"Really? What kind of things do you draw?" Gabriele asked from the other side of the table.
"I don't know, it really depends on my mood," Diego explained testing the waters a bit.
"I draw all the covers, for Eli's music, so that's most of what I do," Diego casually blurted out as I just smacked my forehead.