You absolutely shut down after that. After chasing Natasha out of the room, you laid on your bed sobbing for hours. Only when FRIDAY informed Wanda that you was on the verge of dehydration, she entered the room and attempted to calm you down. Still, it took her roughly half an hour before your cries turned into sniffles and resulted in hiccups.
Wanda looked at you as you slept in her arms, you looked so broken and devastated. Carrying them for about 5 months and the finish line was so close. Just another 4 more months and you could be holding your healthy baby in your arms. Instead, you were left with an empty nursery and an empty heart.
Wanda POV
My heart breaks seeing Y/N like this. Natasha may not have been able to prevent this, but if she was more supportive and actually listened to her wife's concerns, Y/N wouldn't have been this devastated.
I tucked her hair behind her ears and covered her up with the cover properly before kissing her forehead before heading out.
Once I stepped out of the room, Natasha was there waiting. "How is she?" She asked softly, sticking her head slightly through the window to see Y/N as if not wanting to be noticed by her. I've never seen her so small with her actions.
"Not good but not like you care anyway." I scoffed before walking off. The rest of the Avengers saw the interaction from the end of the hall and had to bite their lips to prevent saying anything.
A few hours had passed and I wanted to check if Y/N had woken up and bring her some lunch on the way. All the Avengers have eaten as we sat around the dining table not knowing what to say. It had hit us quite hard. Everyone was so excited to have a bundle of joy among us before it got snatched away.
I knocked on the door a few times but there was no reply, nevertheless I entered the room thinking she may still be asleep. Her bed was empty and she was not in the attached bathroom.
"FRIDAY, where is Y/N?" I asked the AI, slightly panicking that she might do something stupid.
"Ms Y/L/N has denied sharing of location." The AI responded.
"Oh fuck." I left the tray of food there and ran to search her room first. The door was locked meaning she was inside. "Y/N?" I asked softly once I took a deep breath, not trying to agitate her.
She didn't reply but I could feel that she's inside. "Y/N open the door please. You don't have to talk."
After a few minutes, I asked FRIDAY to unlock the door but again was denied access. I really need Stark to take away this feature instantly. "Y/N, I'm going to open the door with my powers if you don't let me in."
I thought scaring her would do the trick but there was still no sound coming from her room. FRIDAY said was not asleep so I was sure she heard all I had said. Informing her one last time, I used my powers to unlock the door but I was still unable to push it open.
I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, I was able to turn the doorknob all the way, why wasn't I able to open the door?
The sound of my shoulders making an impact on Y/N's door startled Steve. He came over to check what was happening and offered to open the door. Through repeated slamming on the door, we can hear that there was something on the other side of the door.
Finally, the door opened wide enough for my body to fit in. After thanking Steve, I went in to check on Y/N. Her vanity table was the one blocking the door hence the obstruction and difficulty of previous activity.
"You know, I'm surprised at the strength you have to move the table." I said as I used my powers to move the vanity table back to its original spot. She didn't reply and I saw her form of body under the covers continuously staring at the wall in front of her.
"Y/N, I know you're sad, but you're stronger than this." I kneeled beside her bed and looked at her. Instead, she turned away facing away from me and pulled the covers over her head. "I'm going to bring up lunch for you. I know you didn't eat breakfast and it's already 3 in the afternoon. You have to eat something, you're still healing." I said even though it was clear that she didn't want to speak to me.
I heard her mumble something and asked her to repeat it but she remained silent after that.
>time skip<
"I don't know what to do anymore Clint." I rest my head in my hands frustrated that I was not making any progress with Y/N. Clint was my go to person when I needed help. He just seemed like the person that understood how humans work. Maybe because he is a father?
Each day I try to help Y/N get through the basic necessities such as eating and showering to at least get her out of bed once a day but it was tough. If I want her to eat her dinner, I'll have to start around 4pm and only until around 6pm will she take her first bite. Well, I had to distract her with other things in between but it took a lot of planning. I knew it wasn't going to be easy for her to open up again but I didn't think it was going to be like this.
"What about Natasha?" Clint asked.
"Natasha? Well, I'm not sure if she knows, but I can feel her standing near her door every morning when I go to check on Y/N."
Your POV
I know Wanda has been taking care of me these weeks but I really can't be bothered to speak more than a few words each time. I just want to lay there and waste my time away. Each time I think of my baby, tears flow out naturally even though I want to hold them back. I would only have been six months pregnant now if she was still here. I need her, I need her so much.
I heard the door open and I groaned before lifting the cover over my head knowing it was Wanda coming in again. I really couldn't be bothered about what I'm doing in my life.
"Y/N." I heard Nat's voice in my room and I froze momentarily. I thought I was hearing things but I heard her calling out my name again.
I stayed where I was until she placed a hand on my shoulders. I shot up immediately and moved away from her. "Get out!"
"Y/N, please, I just want to apologise."
"NO! GET OUT!" I screamed at her, throwing pillows at her in attempts to chase her out.
"I know I'm wrong, nothing I do would make this better-"
"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! GET OUT! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!! NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU WERE HERE. ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS WORK. I HONESTLY FORGOT WHY WE GOT MARRIED." I was running out of things to throw at her so I walked towards her and started pushing her away.
"And that apology of yours?" I scoffed. "I'm never going to accept it. It only makes you feel better, not me. Do you know how hard was it for me to sign the birth and death certificate at the same time?" I finally shoved her out of my room and slid my back down against the door. Sobbing again, just as I did on the first day.
I couldn't face Nat without being reminded that I had a chance of being a parent, I was about to be a parent.
When Wanda finally came in, I was still laying on the ground. She must have known that something was wrong since I never get out of bed willingly and if this didn't tell her, perhaps the shouting did.
I would have been fine with laying on the floor but Wanda insisted on bringing me back to bed. "I take it that the talk with Natasha didn't go so well?" I shook my head without giving any more details.
"You need to let her speak too, Y/N. You can't keep on living like this. You need to move on."
I looked at Wanda and shook my head. She doesn't understand what I'm thinking, no one does. How am I supposed to explain the pain I'm experiencing? It's a mixture of pain, sadness, numbness and guilt.
"Let's forget about showering and focus on having a meal today instead."
Natasha POV
Clint was waiting for the news when he saw I was being shoved out. I just shook my head at him before entering my room.
I rubbed my face as I sat at the edge of my bed. I know Wanda has been taking care of Y/N, I want to help but she wasn't letting me go near her at all.
If only I had been a better wife, I wouldn't be staying up late working, I wouldn't be too busy to check up on her or too busy to bother about my wife's health. We would be in a better place. She had done so much for us but I only took her for granted. I know it's my time to do something for her.
I changed and got ready to go out when I heard shouting coming from her room again as I passed her room. It wasn't normal since Y/N usually whispers when dealing with Wanda. "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WANDA!" It doesn't seem like the end of the sentence so I pressed my ear against the door to hear better.
I wasn't able to hear anything but I saw Clint exiting the elevator as I was still trying to figure out what was happening. He quickened his steps when he saw me and I told him that I heard shouting.
There wasn't any more sound coming from the room so I assumed there was nothing to worry about.
Your POV
"You don't understand..." I closed my eyes and sighed when she tried to talk me into forgiving Natasha or at least return to talking terms with her. "I hate her and I love her. But I don't want to live without my daughter..."
"Y/N, you can't think that. I need you too. Steve, Clint, Tony and rest need you. You can't leave us, please." Wanda begged. I could tell she was scared as her eyes glossed.
"I just want to sleep." I blocked her out and covered the duvet over my head.
"Okay, I'll come and check on you later." I heard her say before the door closed.
---
A few days passed and I was still alive. I have been sitting up with my head against the headboard staring at the wall in front of me for a few hours. I can't pinpoint what it is but something feels different. The past few days, Natasha has been coming in with Wanda but I refused to meet her eyes. She usually just stands near the door as Wanda talked to me.
Lifting the duvet, I went to grab a lighter blanket before heading to the living room. It was quiet and nobody was around but I guess it was still early. It was a lot brighter here with more sunlight coming in.
Taking up the seat at the side, I wrapped myself up in the blanket like a cocoon and went to sleep again.
"Did anyone see Y/N?" I heard Wanda rush into the room panicking and I opened my eyes and looked at her. "Oh, you're here. I thought you went missing." She placed a hand on her chest and sighed. I just realised that Steve was already up and coming out from the kitchen.
"Here, I made you some tea." He placed it in front of me on the coffee table and I bowed slightly at him to thank him. He smiled at me before taking the newspaper and returning to his seat. I took a sip of the tea and realised he didn't put any sugar in it.
"Do you want anything to eat?" Wanda came to sit next to me and I shook my head. "Alright, I'm only agreeing once since you stepped out for the first time." She stated like how a teacher would warn their student.
I didn't notice earlier but Natasha came down with Wanda earlier. She handed me two sachets of sugar before sitting down at the far end of the couch. I'm still wary of her but I wasn't going to push her out. I glanced at her before pouring the sugar into my cup while the tea was still warm.
"Can I sit next to you?" I turned to look at her when she made the first move. When I gave her to go ahead, she moved closer and sat in the middle seat.
"Do you still hate me?" She asked and I shrugged my shoulders. "Are we still together?" I nodded my head slightly but it wasn't a firm nod. "We're still together, okay okay." I could hear her mumble since she was close to me.
"Do you want anything? Movie perhaps?" I nodded and she turned on the television and put on my comfort movie, Mary Poppins Returns.
I don't usually laugh with the movie once I've seen it but this particular movie was just special and managed to bring a smile to my face. The dance and songs are very uplifting and catchy.
Halfway through the movie, my eyes grew tired and I could no longer open them. Perhaps waking so early was not a good idea. My head slid against the backrest and landed on Natasha's shoulder. She was shocked at first but didn't say anything.
Natasha POV
"I'm sorry, I really am." When she didn't ask me to stop, I continued. I'm glad that she finally stop shutting me out.
"I guess, you can peg me as the killer of our child and it wouldn't be wrong. I really didn't know what I was doing. What was I thinking? Leaving you alone to take care of yourself when you were five months pregnant. Even if you weren't pregnant, I should have taken care of you. It was my duty and it still is."
"That's enough." She said with her eyes still closed. "Just put the past behind us, I don't want to talk about it anymore."
I hummed and squeezed her hand slightly. I'm not going to let her go ever again. My heart soared when she squeezed back shortly after. "I love you." I whispered and I'll wait an eternity for her to say it back.
Written on 11 Jun 2022
Posted on 21 Jun 2022