WAR POV
"Is that really your mom?"
I read Yin's message that made me smile widely while I was laying on my bed. Actually I know he was shocked and jealous when I answered the call and called my mom 'my love', maybe he thought I was talking to someone that I like. But the person I like is him, I just love to see his cute expression when he tries to hide his jealousy but it's too obvious. Just the way he looked at me said it all since it was the same look I gave him when I was envious when someone approached him.
"Secret :p," I replied, purposely wanting to tease him because he made me jealous this evening.
"Okay. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable for asking that."
He got offline after that. I sent a few messages to him but he didn't reply. Does he think I really already have someone? Of course nooo, I'm so obvious about my feelings for him through my action even though I never confess to him because I'm so fucking nervous!
I really wanted to say the word 'I love you' but every time I tried it, I felt my hand shake so much and my heart wanted to explode because of my nervousness.
I dialed his number and called him. After a few ringing, he answered my call but he said nothing.
"Yin, are you there?" I asked.
He just hummed.
"Are you mad at me?"
"I'm not," he answered briefly.
"Are you sleepy?"
He hummed again.
"Yinnnn," I called him using a cute tone.
"Hmmmmm"
I don't know if I should worry because he sulked at me or laughed as I couldn't help myself not to smile because he was so cute when he tried to hide his jealousy.
I looked at the watch and it's 11 pm now. "Can you come to my room?" I asked, hoping that he would come because suddenly I missed him so badly. Oh my God I'm so clingy!
How could I lie to my feelings before this?
How could I push him away before this?
Because for God's sake now I want him to always be with me.
He was silent,not answering. It's late now and maybe he is already ready to sleep.
I heard him open his room door."Who's coming?" I asked while hugging my pillow.
"I walk to your room now," he said, making me smile widely and bite my pillow. I think I am really crazy in love as just listening to his voice has already made me go crazy.
"Don't end the call. I need you to accompany me."
"Okayyyy Yinyin"
"Be careful. There are a lot of ghosts out there," I said.
"I'm not scared," he answered back arrogantly.
I mimicked back his response and we didn't stop talking until I heard him knock on my door. I smiled happily at him as I opened the door but he just gave me a bland expression, continuing his pouting despite the reality that I could see he was resisting the urge to smile.
"Why did you ask me to come here?" He asked and sat on the sofa, I sat cross-legged beside him while hugging the pillow.
"No reason," I said, keeping my eyes locked on him and he cleared his throat when he noticed my action.
I poked his cheek, making him startled and he looked at me while raising his eyebrows. "That's really my mom."
"You can check my phone if you want," I said.
He nodded and bit his lips, controlling himself from smiling again. "Okay," he replied.
"Are you jealous?" I asked teasingly.
He looked everywhere other than me without answering but his expression answered it all as he kept avoiding my eyes.
"Yin is jealoussss," I said, poking his cheek until he finally couldn't control himself not to smile.
..........................................
YIN POV
It's 1 am now and I'm still playing a game on my phone while sitting on the sofa and War is studying, sitting in front of me on the floor.
I looked at him and smiled. He hasn't changed since high school when it comes to study. Unlike me, who prefers to spend my time doing nothing but playing games, he constantly prioritises his studies and does revision almost every night.
I stared at him for so long, not bothering to play games anymore and I saw his head begin to descend slowly as if almost asleep. Just before his forehead hit the table, I put my palm on his forehead and he looked at me with sleepy eyes. I chuckled and shook my head looking at him.
"Let's go to your bed. You're sleepy."
"Nooo, I want to study," he mumbled and I laughed a little because he obviously looked very sleepy.
I carried him like a bridal style and he closed his eyes again,cuddling closer to me while his hands clinging to my neck. "Don't drop me," he said.
I purposely teased him and acted like I wanted to drop him, making him open his eyes and cling to me tightly. "Don't you dare," he muttered and I grinned before walking to his bed and laying him down.
"You can let go of your hands," I said as his hands were still clinging on my neck and it made our faces so close. It's bad for my heart.
He then pulled me until I lay beside him and took my arm, then lay his head on it. "You need to sleep beside me every time you sleep here," he muttered with his eyes closed and moved closer to me, making me swallow my saliva roughly and didn't even breathe properly as my heart pounded so fast.
This little boy really made me insane.
Silence.
"Yin..."
He called me with his husky voice and I simply hummed while my eyes locked on his beautiful face. He was still closing his eyes.
"I'm sorry."
"You're sorry?"
"I shouldn't treat you like that," he muttered and his voice became low as he tried to fight his sleepiness.
"I should be honest with my feelings," he added and I smiled while my hand played with his hair on his forehead. I don't know how many times he apologized to me because almost every day he would do that,so am I. Even though we already said we forgive each other for all the mistakes we made but the word 'sorry' became our routine before the day ended.
"I'm sorry too, War," I replied.
"Yin..."
"Hm?"
"I..."
"I love..."
He stopped and I waited for him to continue his words but he was already asleep, making me smile and caressing his cheek gently.
"Goodnight my boy," I said and drew myself closer to him before falling asleep.
..........................................
I was woken up by the sound from my phone, indicating that someone called me and when I looked beside me, War still slept soundly on my arm like he always did.
"Hello phi," I answered the call with my sleepy eyes as it's still early and today is the weekend, so we didn't bother to wake up early.
"Hello my lovely brother. How are you?" My brother, P'Jai asked.
"Hmm why did you suddenly call me?"
"Aww I can't call my own brother?"
"You never called me before and suddenly you called me early in the morning," I said lazily.
"No reason. I just miss my nonggg," he replied with a cute voice, making me almost vomit.
War made a move, probably because the light from my phone and voice that bothered his sleep and he slowly opened his eyes.
"I'm sleepy, phi. I will call you back later."
"Okay. I love you my brother!"
"Say you love me back!"
Did he call me while he was drunk?
"Yeah whatever," I replied.
"You don't love your handsome brother, huh?"
"Yeah, phi. I love you. Goodbye," I shook my head and ended the call, putting back my phone on the table, then changed my gaze to War who still looked at me like he was asking who called me at this hour.
"Who is that?"
"Why did you say you love him?" He asked while rubbing his eyes.
"My love." I gave him the same answer he gave me yesterday that made me not stop thinking and I felt so freaking jealous because I didn't know that his mom.
"Your love? He furrowed looking at me but I was still acting serious.
I hummed and suddenly he wrapped his hands over my stomach tightly, making me frozen because I didn't expect his movement. He didn't hug me last night,we just lay very close.
He really behaved like this since the day we reconciled, everything he did, especially when he kissed my cheek, hugged me, used his words to make my heart pound so fast, made me crazy and I really had to see a doctor, worrying if something happened to my heart.
"Tell me who it is?" He asked and I didn't respond because I tried to control my nervousness and he then wrapped his leg on me, making me like his pillow.
"Tell me, Yinnn," he said and I looked at him. I gulped my saliva roughly because our face was so close and his rosy lips caught my attention, making my heartbeat so fast and I simply moved my head a little to be far from him but he followed my movement.
"My...brother," I answered in a stutter.
"Really?" He asked and slowly moved his face closer to me a little by little.
I could feel my breath becoming trapped because I couldn't hide my nervousness and my eyes focused more on his lips. I always fight the urge to kiss him because I didn't want him to avoid and ignore me again if I kissed him but his action lately made it so hard for me to stop this crazy thought.
"Yin..."
He called me with his husky voice and as our faces became so close and I could feel my heart almost explode, I immediately got off the bed, making him shocked.
"I...need to go...now," I said and took my phone on the table at the bedside.
Shit, if I let myself stay so close to him like that, I'm sure I'll kiss him but I tried my hardest not to and held myself. I fucking couldn't let my desire to control myself and made him hate me.
"Yin"
He grabbed my hand and gave me a puzzled look,maybe he was also wondering why suddenly I behaved like this and wanted to go back early.
"I need to go. I will meet you later," I said and walked to the door. I don't know when he got off the bed but he blocked my path as he walked fastly and stood in front of the door.
"Is that something wrong?" He asked.
"Nope," I pretended to laugh.
"Why you always run–"
"I need to go now," I cut him off and caressed his hair before opening the door and walked out fastly from there.
Fuck Yin.
'Fuck! You're stupid!' I cursed myself and let out a deep breath while I was in the elevator with my heart bursting out of my chest.
This is not first time this is happening and I'm sure War also curious why I acted like dumb person.
I didn't know what he was thinking if he knew what I thought in my mind everytime he was so close to me. I want to kiss him really badly and he probably will hate me if he knows about that.
...................................................
WAR POV
"Can you come to the studio now? I'm alone:( ," I sent a message to Yin and after he ran away from me again this morning, he just kept quiet.
Yes 'again'. This isn't the first time he's run away from me when we've gotten too close and he's simply walked away, leaving me dumbfounded.
Did I make him uncomfortable?
Did he hate if I'm being too close to him?
But why does he hate that? He likes me, doesn't?
Or he's really uncomfortable because we still haven't changed our title from best friend to more than that?
But I'm waiting for him to ask me...
Probably it's still early for him but we know since high school. Is it still considered as early?
Or am I the only one who thinks like that? And he never thought to make our relationship more than a friend.
I couldn't stop thinking about all that but my reverie stopped when someone opened the door and Yin came inside.
"Hey," he said as if nothing had happened this morning and he put the ice coffee he bought for me on the table, then sat beside me on the sofa.
"Where are the others?" He asked.
"I just came here alone to do the editing," I answered.
"Are you already done?"
I nodded and kept my eyes locked on him.
"What?" He asked while smiling and ruffled my hair.
"Do you like me?"
"Huh?" His eyes widened with my sudden question and he immediately avoided my gaze, stopping caressing my hair. There is no answer coming out from him and it's made me overthink again.
Did he still like me?
This is the second time I asked him that question. I'm sure he still likes me but why did he always avoid me and run away from me if I wanted to...kiss him?
Or is he confused about his feelings because he already started to like someone else?
Am I too late? And now he just considers me as someone he is comfortable with?
"Nevermind. Forget it," I said after he remained silent
I stood up and took my stuff on the table. "Let's go back."
He grabbed my wrist and looked at me but still not giving an answer to my question yet.
"War...I..."
I smiled a little and removed his hand from my wrist. "It's okay. You don't need to feel guilty if you don't feel the same anymore," I said, controlling my shaking voice and walked away to the door.
As I reached the exit door, I turned my body to face him and wanted to call him but before I opened my mouth, he was already behind me and pushed me until my back leaned against the door. He put his palm on the back of my head as he prevented my head from hitting the door and his other hand on my side.
Shit. This position flashbacks memories of when we kissed and I could feel my face heat up when he approached his face closer to me.
"War"
He looked at my lips and I could see he gulped his saliva before returning his eyes to stare at me again.
My heart pounded so fast and my face became so red as he approached my face slowly, slowly and slowly and a few inches before our lips touched, he looked at me and smiled. I could feel sweat running down on my forehead.
He then took my hand and put it on his chest, making me swallow my saliva and wordless to say anything.
"Did you feel my heartbeat?" He asked and I remained silent for a while before nodding slowly to answer his question as I could feel how fast his heart pounded.
"Before this you say my heartbeat already gave you the answer for your question, so..."
He moved his face closer to mine again.
"Can this time my heartbeat give you the answer for your question again?"
"Yin..."
"The answer will never change,War."
"My feelings for you are already beyond liking,"he smiled, ruffled my hair and moved back but I made a bold move by grabbing his collar strongly, causing his lips to slam against my lips because of the sudden move.
He moved back and his eyes widened.
"Shit, I'm sorry," he said and wiped my lips using his thumb and all I could see was his nervous and panicked face, like worries if I'm mad.
But why did I want to be mad?
Did he worry that I'd be mad if he kissed me? That's why he always runs away and avoids us to kiss?
I looked at him and a flashback to all the words I said to him the first time we kissed flashed through my head. I felt a twinge in my heart because I hadn't realised I hadn't given him an explanation for all I'd said to him, especially when I said the kiss was a big mistake and that I was fucking upset at him for kissing me even though I didn't meant all of that.
I said that because my stupid thought and trauma made me do that. I chose to hurt him but I regret all my action, my behavior because I realized that it doesn't make all the things better but worse. At the end of the day, I will never be able to rid my feelings for him because he's the only person I want from the beginning till the end and even after.
I grabbed his hand that still wiped my lips, making him stop.
"I'm sorry, War. I'm–"
"I never hate when we kiss that day."
"I...I like it,"I said and bowed my head down.
There was no response from him and when I lifted my head, he looked at me in disbelief at what he just heard.
"What...what do you say?"
"The kiss is not a mistake."
"You apologize because you kissed me but I hate that...I...I really liked when you kissed me," I said with a red face.
"I'm sorry because I'm not being honest."
He looked at me with his mouth slightly open but he didn't say anything.
"Say something, Yin."
"I'm...Is this not a dream?" He asked and I quickly gave him a peck kiss on his lips, making him startled more.
"This is not a dream. I really love when you kiss me," I said shyly and I could feel my hot face as I couldn't control how fast my heartbeat.
"War...I'm–"
I didn't let him finish what he was about to say as I again pressed my lips to his partly opened mouth.
"Umph," he made a sound because of surprised but he didn't push me away.
I kissed him slowly at first as I'm taking my chance to enjoy this man's taste. His lips are soft and plump and I take the opportunity to bite down on his bottom lip. Yin gasped and pulled me closer to him by my waist, his lips slamming harder into mine.
I bring my hand to his hair and he bites my lip hard, forcing me to gasp and giving him the opportunity to thrust his tongue into my lips. This kiss started with me but he now has the upper hand. I love how he kissed me, he not only kissed me because he wanted to but he also conveyed everything he felt about me. He loves me, he adores me.
The kiss is now more intense and demanding. Between breaths, his tongue caresses mine and little bites are taken. I fucking love it because it's sloppy yet perfect. It reminded me about our first kiss but now it's so much more perfect as we are more honest about our feelings.
We broke the kiss to catch our breath and we stared at each other's eyes, my hands wrapped around his neck. I could see how blushing his face was now, so am I.
He caressed my cheeks and brushed my bottom lips with his thumb. "You really make me crazy,War," he said.
"I love too," I smiled, making him slam his lips against mine again.
• TBC •
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credit: @ko_yinwar