–Lyall–
That bastard of a wolf dares to think that we will believe Mars is the one who has decided to stay?
Tch. As if Mars will choose this pack over my kingdom. As if... Mars will choose her ex-husband over me...
Will she choose Ed over me?
I try to dig deep into our bond again. No matter how many times I remind myself that Mars and I have a fated bond, while her and Ed's bond was a chosen bond... I can't shake off the doubt that Mars won't pick me. After all, she has spent her youth with this man. She mourned over him and I was the witness to how much she missed him.
But... our bond...
It's not there. Something is blocking our connection.
Or perhaps, Mars has closed the bond deliberately because... Urgh. It hurts, as though a sword has stabbed me multiple times until my heart is torn. It bleeds profusely until my chest is hollowed out.
I look to my right. Sky's gaze is full of rage and confusion just like mine is. But we both have a silent agreement that we will not go back down without a fight. There is something wrong with how the pack is acting. And the sudden news that Ed is still alive doesn't sit well with the both of us.
Perhaps it's my jealous and scared self that makes up these possibilities in my head, but I am pretty sure Sky is thinking the same things. This Ed might be a shapeshifter. Or a manipulative illusion trick by Mason. Either way, I know Sky and I won't be able to accept the fact that Ed is still alive just like that.
Because if he is alive all this time... why hasn't he reached out to Mars, to let her know he has been fine all this time? Or why hasn't he visited Mars in my kingdom to see her in person?
Mars might not realize this, but I saw how wrecked she was after Ed's death. She woke up in the middle of the night to cry for this piece of shit of a man. There were moments she thought she couldn't make it alone and felt scared all day long.
And these darn werewolves dare to tell me that the person responsible for Mars' heartache has been alive all this time?
Well, let me kill him for good now. Without realizing it, I have curled my fists so tightly that my knuckles are turning white.
"There is absolutely no way Mars's ex-husband is still alive..." Sky's voice trails as the gate finally opens again. The grey wolf that greeted us before has stood on the side along with the rest of the pack members. They all seem... terrified. The werewolves stand with their backs hunching, they face the ground, and I can smell fear emanating from them clearly.
There is another scent I have picked up that does not belong to any werewolf.
"Vampires," Sky whispers next to me. He then furrows his brows in confusion. "Why are vampires in this werewolf pack?"
"Didn't you smell any vampires when you made sure Mars was safe in this pack?"
Sky shakes his head. "They must have been out of the pack when I came."
This is very weird. Vampires and werewolves are known to be sworn enemies, especially because vampires like to kidnap werewolf pups. Besides, this particular pack, the Moon Chaser pack, just waged war with vampires months ago.
So, why would the members of this pack be standing side by side with the very vampires they were fighting against?
It's weird.
Moreover, I don't like the way these werewolves and vampires act when two figures walk to the gate.
My heart almost stops instantly as soon as I see her after an entire night of terror. After hours of worrying about her, my heart leaps at the sight of her. Yet I can tell something is troubling her. Her gaze is not free, as if something has clipped her wings and caged her.
My feet move on their own to reach Mars. But the man next to her blocks our path with his body. He dares to descend his fangs in my presence. His scent, white hair, and the blue veins popping on his arms are all evidence of a noble vampire.
"Ed," Mars calls to the man in a tired voice. It breaks my heart hearing her voice like this. It's as if the joyful Mars I know is on the verge of blooming has shrunk.
Why?
I don't need an answer. I'm staring straight at my answer. Ed must have done something to her.
I look at the vampire Mars just called 'Ed.' Immediately I connect the dots in my mind. Somehow, Ed has transformed into a noble vampire. I have never heard of a werewolf becoming a noble vampire before, but that is the least of my worry.
As a response to his fangs, I take out my claws. My entire fiber of being is ready to lunge at this noble vampire. If I have to fight him right now, I will. I am not afraid, even if I have to go against all the werewolves and vampires in this pack. I look back at Sky. The boy is ready as well.
Does Mars know that her blood had a part in resurrecting Sky? Does she not know how powerful her entire being is?
Because when my gaze returns to Mars... she looks so defeated.
"That is not your Ed, Mars," I hold her gaze while trying to reach into our bond again. Why won't she let me in?
Mars gulps hard. She looks conflicted. Then she looks down at the small figure she has been carrying.
My breath hitches when I see the most beautiful baby in her arms. She is sleeping but her small face is contorted as though she can feel Mars's troubled feelings. The baby tosses around a couple of times. Then she opens her eyes. Her clear blue eyes stare straight at me and she smiles as if she welcomes me.
It's a weird feeling, but I know I have loved her since then. Even if she is not my blood, or not related to me at all. Even if she has blue eyes like Ed's and not green eyes like mine. Even if she is a werewolf pup and not a lycan pup.
She comes into my life so I feel like she is already mine.
Mars walks past Ed with the baby. I foolishly thought that she would come home with the baby with me and Sky. But she won't look at me... as she gives the baby to me. Not really understanding what she's doing, of course, I take the smiling baby happily in my arms. The baby is even unfazed by the fact that I am in my lycan form, or that I have cuts and blood all over me.
I hold the precious baby gently with two hands. The baby looks at Sky next to me and she giggles. Sky, too, freezes on the spot while staring at the baby.
Oh, I don't care what Ed says, or what anyone says. This baby is mine. This baby belongs in my life.
"Hello, Lyall," Mars finally says something. But her voice seems distant. She still won't look me in the eyes, even after she gives her baby to me. "Sky," Mars greets Sky too.
Then she takes steps back from us. Just like that.
Out of instinct, both Sky and I take a few steps to Mars, but that son-of-a-bitch just has to block us again with his body. We stop in our tracks while Mars is fidgeting behind Ed. She keeps looking down, just like the rest of the pack.
Nothing can prepare us for what Mars says next.
"I have decided to stay."
That asshole is the only one smiling. Ed looks triumphant while I feel like sinking. I hate every second of this.
"Mars," I call her, trying to understand why she is doing this. And if she has decided to stay, why would she give her baby to us? I know instantly that this pack is not safe, that's why Mars wants the baby out of the pack. But why does she choose to stay? What is chaining her with this pack?
I take a step toward her again, but Ed snarls viciously, so I stop. Ed has startled the baby and now she is crying in my arms. When her baby is crying, Mars grips her skirt hard to the point that I can see her knuckles becoming white. I can see Mars biting her lower lip, trying so hard not to cry.
Mars is definitely staying not because she wants to. Why would she even separate herself from her baby?
I give the baby to Sky to hold so I can face Ed fully. Sky accepts the baby, but he looks like something hard has struck him when he touches the baby. While the baby instantly starts laughing at the sight of Sky.
Knowing that the baby has stopped crying, I return my focus to Mars and Ed. Not caring that Ed is standing between Mars and me, I keep trying to hold Mars's gaze. "Mars," I call her again. The bond between us seems to only be further apart with every second we spend not being together. It tears me from the inside, and I know it's tearing her too.
But at least I can still talk to her. I can see her. We can figure out what's wrong with our bond later. I just hope... she knows that whatever it is weighing on her... she can trust me to carry them too.
"Please look at me," my voice starts to break. I can't help it.
The woman who has made my days brighter finally holds my gaze. I can see tiredness within her. And fear.
"Mars," I say, "Both Sky and I can take down anyone to save you."
"Is this a declaration of war?" Ed asks, deliberately raising her voice so the entire pack can hear. Some werewolves and vampires guarding around the door have changed into ready positions and all of their fangs have descended.
They outnumber us. Mars panics when her eyes scout the large gap in numbers between us. She pulls on her hair and the way she looks... it's as if she's breaking down. This hurts me more than any fangs could.
Did Ed do something to her?
"N–No!" Mars cries out. She looks at me, pleading. Her face clearly states that she is in distress. Her shoulders are shaking. "Please... please... no war. I–I–I don't want any war."
Right then, a whirlwind of emotions leaks through the bond. But that's it. I can't reach her back through the bond or even find the source of the shared emotions. It's as if these emotions have piled too much inside Mars that she can't help but subconsciously send them to me even when our bond seems to be unreachable to both of us.
She is drowning deep in the sea, without the ability to swim or even to breathe. The idea of her inciting a war would only drown her even further, it would bury her deep under the sand in the deep sea, where no light can reach her.
I have never felt pain like this before. It's dull but sharp at the same time. The agony of knowing that she is at the edge of her sanity, that with one more little push, she could lose herself... takes all my breath away.
If I don't choose my words or actions carefully, I might lose her forever. And she is scared of that.
I, too, am scared for her.
I feel like screaming because the invisible ache is just unbearable. I so badly want to run to her and tell her that everything will be okay. If possible, I'll take away all her pain right now.
But when I take even a single step forward, she screams at me while shaking her head. She is drowning further. "Lyall, please! Just go back!"
It hurts to see the person you love break down like this. It hurts, even more, to know that she is rejecting my help.
It hurts... so much that I, too, feel like drowning, unable to breathe.
"Mars," I call to her with the calmest voice I can muster. I don't want to spook her further even though my heart is bleeding through and through. Mars is not in her right mind. And even with her kind of power, this sickness can still affect her. I just wish she would trust me... to save her. "Just say the word and we will fight for you. The numbers don't matter. You know how powerful Sky and I are–"
"Please just go," Mars sobs.
She sobs.
The entire pack stops snarling at us. Most of them look down at their feet again, as if they are ashamed of something.
While Ed puts on the widest grin I have ever seen.
"It– it's not worth it, Lyall. Please don't wage any war. There has been too much bloodshed." Mars tries so hard to keep her voice calm and collected. It breaks my heart, even more, to see her failing to gather herself. "I–I'm..."
'I'm not worth it.'
The words strike me down, hard and fast and painful. It's the first words I hear from our bond all day long.
"Mars–"
"Please just go," she cries out. Then she says in a soft voice, "Please make sure my baby will always be safe. Can you put her in the academy so Naver and Ganesh can teach her too?" She tries to laugh but her lips tremble too much. "And if she wishes to be a warrior, can you persuade Athena to be her mentor? Or maybe Grey could be her mentor too."
"Jen probably would like to be her babysitter. Tell Jen that I wish for her to grow up in the Lycan Kingdom." She lets out a depressing chuckle. "You're fine with Jen and her rogues staying in your kingdom, right?"
I only stare at Mars.
"Why?" I breathe out the question.
She has finally calmed down, looked me straight in the eye, and smiled. Yet I know she is still drowning.
"Ed is here. I would like... to continue the life I had before." Her smile doesn't reach her eyes. "I know it must be confusing to you. But feelings are confusing. And... now that Ed is back alive. It's only natural I want to be back with him."
Without your baby? You're the one that is confusing, Mars. I really want to scream that to her, but I press my lips shut.
"That's bullshit," Sky curses.
"Okay."
"What?" Sky raises his voice at me. But then he consoles the baby so she wouldn't cry because of his startling loud voice.
Even Ed has stopped grinning. While Mars looks stunned at me.
I guess she doesn't think that I would give up on her this easily. It's obvious that she is disappointed. But then I see her breathing slightly easier. She smiles faintly. "Thank you."
We both only stare at each other for the longest time. I think we both are saying sorry to each other that things between us just couldn't work. For a moment, I feel like there are only the two of us left in this world.
Then Ed cuts off my vision of Mars with his ice-cold body. He is not grinning anymore, his eyes scrutinize me as if wondering what is my plan. Ed says, "Off you go then."
Tch. How dare a vampire dismisses me like I am nothing?
But for Mars, I reluctantly turn and walk away. When my back is against all of them, only then do I let the tears that have been pooling in my eyes down.
Sky stands perfectly still on his spot for a while. I see him blinking a few times as if trying to wake up from a dream. Then he gives a small run to catch up to me with the baby in his arms.
We are really leaving Mars in that darn pack with that asshole ex-husband of hers.
Once we enter the forest treeline, once the tree branches have covered us from the pack, Sky uses his shadows to carry the baby. The baby feels ticklish every time a shadow wraps itself around her body. Her giggles can be heard almost every second because Sky makes the shadows play with her.
Goddess, I even forgot to ask Mars what's the name of the baby.
"What's your plan?" Sky asks. He keeps on looking back in the direction of the pack to see Mars, even when the werewolves have closed the gate. I don't look back at all. It takes everything in me not to look back at Mars. "We're definitely waging a war, right?"
"She doesn't want a war," I say in a flat tone.
"What? Are you going to give up on her just like that?" Sky raises his voice. At the same time, the shadows cover the baby's ears so she won't get startled. "Mars even gave the baby to us, which means she doesn't think it's a safe environment for her baby. We need to help Mars!"
"Who says I'm giving up on her?" I growl at this boy made from shadows.
Seeing the fire burning behind my eyes, Sky calms down. He now sees that I do have a plan. But if Mars doesn't want a war, then there will be no war.
"I can't risk her breaking more than she already has just because I wage a war to get her back. Plus, we need to get her baby to safety first. I won't be able to face her if I put the baby in danger's way," I say, "Besides, there's something I need to check first. And another thing I need to do."
Sky waits for me to disclose what they are, but I just keep on walking.
"Well, what are they?"
"You'll see," is all I can answer for now.
I am trying so hard to not cry out of heartache. I try to reach our bond yet again. And even if I can't find it anymore, even if it just seems like an endless tunnel with no end, I keep calling her name nonetheless.
'Mars,' I say, even if I don't know if it will reach her, 'I love you. I will always love you.'
No answer.
'You'll see.'
.
.
.
–Mars–
I can only sob when I hear the words in my mind. They are faint. And I'm not even sure if they are Lyall's or if they are the creation of my own mind.
My eyes have dried but I keep on sobbing.
I hug myself on the cold floor.
Ed's cold hands reach out to me. He cradles me in his embrace like I am a baby. He brushes my hair as he coos, "Everything will be fine. Everything will go back to normal. You'll see."
For the thousandth time, I try to wake the power within me. I keep telling myself that if I can help others' pain and emotions, I should have no trouble helping myself.
But I am struggling.
I am pathetic, aren't I?
When everyone goes to me to get help, where can I ask for help for myself? Who takes care of the carer?
Those anchors dragged my feet under the sand deep in the sea.
I see no way out.
I realize I am no longer whole. Why would Lyall accept this broken girl back? No wonder he agreed so easily to go back.
"You'll see, Mars," Ed repeats, "You'll see."
But he doesn't see that I am drowning.
No one does.
.
.
.
–Lyall–
I choke Marcus Stronghold, the head of the Stronghold Family, with all my might on his own bed. Before Marcus can transform, I constrict his airway. The man's eyes flick to the dozen warriors lying on the floor because of me. Then when those eyes hold my gaze, his lips tremble in fear, realizing my monstrosity.
"Y–Your Highness..." he tries hard to ask, "W–w–why?"
"Be honest, Marcus," I say coldly, "Did you ever have any contact with your sister, Adina after she ran away from the Dark Tower?"
Marcus's eyes then look at his wife who is already trembling on the floor. A boy just around Sky's age calls for Marcus from the door. And when the boy sees me choking his father, the boy freezes. Sky appears behind the boy, his shadows keep the boy still.
"D–don't... please..." Marcus sobs, "Please... I'll tell you everything."
"Start talking then."
"M–my sister did come," Marcus continues. "S–she told us she has been staying at Albus's."
"And?"
"A–and that... a noble vampire taught her how to gain magic by sacrificing fertile females," the head of the Stronghold family sobs louder. "Please... that's all I know."
"Ok," I say coldly, "Show yourself on the market podium by noon, Marcus."
Marcus and his wife look at me in confusion. Sky too, is puzzled when I let go of Marcus just like that. I grab Sky's shirt and half drag him to the door. We arrived in the Lycan Kingdom just a few minutes ago because of Sky's shadows. After dropping off Mars's baby to the confused Jen, and without addressing my worried sister, I dressed up in my human form then I stormed to the Stronghold household. And now I beckon Sky to transport me to another place.
In Albus's two-leveled house, I drag the old man to the front lawn. Several walkers stop in front of the house gate to watch, but I don't care. Albus is trembling vehemently. He kneels in front of me, his forehead touches my shoes. This old man is crying, asking me what he did wrong.
"Tch." I am not in the mood to play his acting game. So I grab his frail jaw and crush it with my bare hand, causing Albus to scream in pain. "Tell me everything you know about Adina."
Albus caves in pretty quickly. He tells me the same thing about Adina gaining magic from kidnapping fertile females. But he also tells me about her secret meetings with a cloaked man every fourth night. That man gave Adina a crystal that she broke into smaller pieces and then gave to Nari for the seamstress to sew on Mars's wedding dress. That crystal is the one blocking our mate bond. And that the cloaked man is none other than Ed.
I tell Albus the same thing I told Marcus, to show himself on the market podium by noon.
Then I ask Sky to transport us back to the castle to meet Nari. I wake her up from her slumber just to ask her if she has more of the crystals Adina gave her. With fear, she gives the remaining crystal to me. Athena barges into Nari's room asking me what exactly am I doing, but I don't answer her. Instead, I tell the warriors Athena brings to drag Nari to the market podium. Seeing the seriousness in my gaze, they all choose to just obey me. Even Athena refrains from asking me more questions. She looks at Sky, asking for an explanation. But of course, that boy does not have any clue as well.
Lastly, I go to Naver and Ganesh, bringing the crystal to them. It turns out that Jen has brought the baby to Ganesh for a check-up as well. The three of them are silent when I enter Ganesh's office. Only the baby that greets both Sky and me cheerfully.
She looks so much like Mars.
I hand the crystal to Naver. "How does one breaks the effect of this crystal?" I ask straightforwardly.
Naver takes the crystal in his hand. He uses a magnifying glass to see the crystal clearer despite the cataract in his eyes. "My Goddess," he exhales, "This is a rare crystal that can weaken one's mind, subjugating a person to experiencing blues, which is a very vulnerable state of mind to be influenced by others. The last I saw of this was in an auction decades ago. And I am pretty sure a Vampire King won the auction for this item."
I don't give Naver any explanation. Instead, I ask again, with more urgency. "How does one breaks the effect of this crystal?"
Naver gulps. "Uh... it would depend on how permanent this crystal is being implanted in a person," the old man says, "If it's only worn on the outside, then the effect might dissuade in a few hours after not wearing it. But I have heard that Fredel The Coward implanted the crystal under Ilsa's skin. For years, Ilsa doesn't know that the crystal caused her breakdowns and indecisiveness. When she found out and took the crystal out, it was too late... her own skin had covered the crystal too deep in her body and the effect has become permanent."
"Is there a cure, Naver?" I raise my voice. I just need this one answer. Just this one.
Naver shakes his head with an apologetic stare.
Apparently, all color has left my face because the next second, Naver asks if I am okay. The baby cries when she sees my shocked expression. I try hard to smile, to show Mars's baby that things will be fine... but even I don't know if things will be okay...
I crumble down to Naver's sofa, tucking my head to my knees and pulling my hair in frustration.
Sky sits next to me slowly. "Ed must have implanted this crystal permanently in Mars's body," the boy whispers, "That's the only possible explanation for..."
"There is no cure...," I breathe out the words, "How can I pull her out from that state of mind?"
With Jen's insistence, Sky ends up telling the others the entire story. Soon after, Athena enters the room too with Helios. They too hear about what has happened in silence.
"Poor Mars," Athena says, "I bet Ed threatened the safety of the entire pack too so that Mars feels more pressure to stay. If not, why would she send the baby to us?"
Sky looks at me. With a small voice, he asks, "What are we going to do?"
I brush my hair in frustration, exhale a long breath, then stand straight. "First, I am going to kill those that had been working with Adina on the market podium by noon," I say coldly, but also with so much tiredness.
"The thought of war would break her," I walk to Athena. Looking at her straight in the eyes, I tell her, "So, Athena, I am ordering you to take the crown from me."
"What?"
"Be the only ruler of this kingdom. So I can go back to that damn pack as an ordinary lycan," I say without missing a beat. "I will challenge Ed in a blood duel with my new status so there will be no war."
Athena shakes her head slightly. "Woah... Lyall... W–what... Are you saying you're going to give your throne away?"
"Yes," I have not a single doubt in my mind. "And if I can sacrifice the entire world without her breaking to pieces, I would. But she is in a fragile state now."
"I will punish everyone who has contributed to her breaking. And then," I curl my fist with determination, "I am going to get my bride. The world will see that she is worth the entire universe and more."
"I just hope she will see that too," I whisper, more to myself, "before it's too late."
–to be continued–