A slight movement at his side snapped him out of his dream before Erwin opened his eyes and stared motionless into the darkness for a moment.
He could hear Levi's soft breathing and feel each of his quiet breaths. His eyes adjusted to the darkness, and he looked down at himself, where he now recognized the outline of Levi, seemingly still fast asleep beside him.
His head rested on his chest, so for a moment, Erwin hardly dared to breathe himself.
This had to be a dream. In reality, Levi had indeed left long ago. Especially after he had had to listen to all that talk Erwin had been giving off, which he, unfortunately, remembered all too well.
Nevertheless, Levi had stayed and laid in his arms. A situation that Erwin would not have believed in the least this morning. Probably the alcohol had not been entirely innocent in his case either, and Erwin was now afraid that Levi would jump up as soon as he even stirred.
So he lay still and tried for a while to fall back asleep. But the hangover that was already starting kept him from doing so.
He wondered what time it was.
He turned his head and tried to catch a glimpse of the small clock on the nightstand, but he could not read the dial in the darkness and from that angle.
And when his bladder also began to squeeze, he made a decision and, with a heavy heart, pushed Levi a little away from him.
As feared, he seemed to wake up and moved away from Erwin, turning his back to him and muttering something unintelligible under his breath.
Erwin whispered a soft apology before pushing himself out of bed and disappearing into the bathroom without looking back again.
He was shaking slightly when he finally propped himself up on the sink after a short relief. Apparently, he really had overdone something. And the bloodshot eyes staring back at him from the mirror in the pale face confirmed his assumption.
He turned on the water and wet his face with the cold wetness before letting it run down his dust-dry throat.
Again he paused and stared at his reflection.
"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked quietly as he realized how he hesitated to return. He fully expected Levi to be gone if he went back to the bedroom now, and he didn't know why that thought made him so nervous.
He also had no clue why this man was bothering him so much in the first place. He had used the last two days to get some distance. Initially, he had intended to take at least two of his people with him, but he simply couldn't stand to be around anyone else. Instead, he had gone off on his own for conversations and arrangements that he could have left to others. One reason was the concerns he had explained to Levi just a few hours ago. But there had been another reason as well. And that was Levi himself.
He had returned to town early in the evening the day before the ball. But instead of going quietly to his quarters as he had done the night before, he had gone underground.
He did not know until now what he had actually been looking for. Distraction? An outlet? Whatever it may be, he had been sure not to run into anyone down there who would recognize him as he moved through the underground redlight district. In the end, it had been in vain anyway because he hadn't found what he was looking for.
He had never been a man to buy another person's affection, and he hadn't started that night either.
He didn't even remember where he had gotten the idea that this would have been the solution to the problem in the first place. But he had finally wanted to know. Finally wanted to know if other men had such an attraction to him as Levi did.
The answer had been a resounding no, even though he had only had a few conversations in the end and had not been able to bring himself to approach any of the men for this matter.
In itself, this would not even have been a problem. He could have lived with it if he knew where this feeling suddenly came from and why it was focused only on Levi. What did this man have that others did not? And why was he so mercilessly addicted to it? He didn't know, and it almost drove him crazy not to be in control of his feelings. Even with Marie, as much as he had loved her, he had eventually learned to deal with his emotions and accepted that Nile had been the right choice for her.
He bent down and splashed the cool water on his face again to calm himself down because there was just no point in thinking about it in his condition.
He put the water down again and finally turned toward the door. He hesitated for a moment before giving himself a jerk and opening it in a quick, silent movement. He certainly didn't even have to be quiet because Levi was surely long gone.
He looked down at the bed, all the more surprised to discover Levi lying between the sheets, unchanged and still with his back turned to him.
Again he hesitated, glancing at the clock, only to realize that it was indeed too early and that his condition did not necessarily allow him to get to work now. So he gave himself a jolt and lay back in bed with some distance from Levi.
He stared motionless at the ceiling for a while listening to the stifling silence that surrounded them, before wincing slightly when he heard Levi's voice.
"Are you all right?" he asked in a lowered voice.
Erwin considered for a moment whether he should just pretend to be asleep before nodding after all. "It's all good," he said when he realized Levi couldn't see him like this.
"I know you must be itching to get back to your desk by now. But you should try to get some more sleep," he heard Levi's soft murmur again.
Erwin sighed and pulled a piece of the blanket over his body before closing his eyes. But his thoughts began to race again. Suddenly, he heard Levi stirring next to him and was sure he would leave now. But instead, he suddenly felt the warmth of his body against his side as Levi moved closer to him and rested his head on his chest.
Immediately Erwin's heart began to race at this unexpected touch, and he was sure Levi did not miss it. Still, the expected mockery failed to materialize, so Erwin hesitantly let his hand rest on Levi's hip before unceremoniously pressing him against him and burying his face in his hair.
Whatever it was that fascinated him so much about this man. He would find out in any case.
•••
Levi's face contorted as the sun shone through the window and tickled his nose, rousing him from sleep. Sleepily, he ran his hand over his face and straightened up with a groan. Damn, he really should have pulled the ripcord earlier the previous evening. And why was it so damn bright in here?
He looked around with only one eye open, and it took him a moment to understand where he was. He swallowed as he recognized Erwin's bedroom, and the memories of last night came crashing in on him.
Levi cursed softly and shimmied his way to the edge of the bed before pushing himself over it somewhat heavily. The hangover had taken full effect by now, and he remained sitting on the edge for a moment to collect himself. Apparently, although Erwin had been considerably drunker, he had already gotten up because Levi couldn't spot him anywhere. Not even in the bathroom, which he entered shortly after that.
He relieved himself, stripped off his clothes, and got into the tub before letting the cold water run down his neck, acknowledging it with a loud sigh. At least until he remembered where he actually was.
Levi set about getting out of the tub as quickly as possible and simply let his damp skin air-dry while arranging his hair in makeshift order in the mirror. With an affronted expression, he looked at himself in the mirror before tearing himself away and slipping back into the clothes he had just worn yesterday. He actually hated putting on clothes already worn the day before again, but he would only need them as far as he got back to the dormitory.
At the sink, he tried again in vain to arrange his hair with his fingers and rinsed out his dry mouth before turning to the door and re-entering the bedroom. He placed the bedspread and pillow a bit and grabbed his jacket on the chair, heading for the door a moment later to take a cautious look inside the office.
He could see through the gap how Erwin, already in uniform, was sitting on the sofa with his back turned to him. In front of him was a stack of papers on the table. However, when he opened the door further, he saw that Erwin was not working but had lowered his head and seemed asleep.
Levi stepped out of the bedroom with an irritated look and quietly walked toward the two sofas. He settled briefly in the seat next to Erwin and eyed him closely for a moment.
"I told you that you needed another wink of sleep," he said, raising his hand to push a strand of his blond hair out of his face. He was indeed sound asleep.
"That's typical of you again. Always thinking about work."
He paused as the idea itself crossed his mind that perhaps Erwin had fled here so early because of him, and it hadn't actually been work that had driven him. But he quickly pushed the thought away. After all, it had been Erwin who had asked him to stay.
Something Levi still didn't understand. Why had Erwin been so insistent on getting closer to him? Was it the pressure of his new position? Something else? He didn't know.
"I'd really be interested to know what's going on in that clever nob," he talked at Erwin again, casually reaching for one of the documents lying on the table.
It took him a while to grasp the meaning of the text, and he couldn't quite decipher some of the words either, but towards the end, he had a rough idea of what it was all about. This was the further course for underground recruitment.
He flinched violently when he noticed a touch on his shoulder, and his eyes widened as Erwin's weight pushed him to the side, leaning further and further toward him.
With a roll of his eyes, Levi lowered the document and, glancing at Erwin, gave an irritated sigh. "You've become quite a burr lately, you know that?" he muttered, though he knew Erwin couldn't hear him.
Still, he glanced to the side with a reproachful look and raised his hand to push him off him again, but paused when he noticed how exhausted Erwin still looked. The dark circles under his eyes had grown even darker, and Levi remembered the moment he had overheard Erwin wandering restlessly through the night. Had he slept at all? Was he perhaps regretting what he had said the night before? Or was something else driving him around?
He stroked his finger across Erwin's cheek, where there was once again some ink, before abruptly withdrawing his hand as he became aware of his action.
At that exact moment, there was a knock at the door, and he only saw Erwin startle upright, eyeing him with a visibly confused look. Levi was about to jump up himself, but he held back.
He moved away a bit and made room for Erwin as he now stood up completely.
The awkwardness and confusion were plain to see on Erwin's face as he glanced wearily back and, at another knock, finally went to the door and opened it.
Levi could see from his position that a woman was standing in the doorway with a tray before Erwin accepted it and finally turned back to him.
•••
Still drowsy, Erwin balanced the tray on his hands as he tried to avoid Levi's gaze and returned to the sofa.
He set it down and sat in his seat, running a gruff gesture through his face. Now of all times, he had fallen asleep after lying awake for a full two hours after his nightly trip to the bathroom. As much as he would have liked to stay with Levi, he had eventually broken away from him and disappeared into his office.
"You look like the hangover has taken its full effect," Levi said, to which Erwin gave him a questioning look.
Levi eyed him intently, but in his state, Erwin couldn't reasonably interpret whether it was concern or just curiosity that showed on his face.
"Did you fall asleep with your eyes open now, too?" asked Levi with a slight sneer in his voice.
Erwin just shook his head and ran both hands through his face. Damn, he felt like he had risen from the dead.
"I ..." he began, shaking his head. What the hell was wrong with him? He should pull himself together. "I ordered us a little breakfast because I thought it might help counteract the hangover," he said, pulling the tray over.
He stood up at those words and took the tea variety from one of the shelves he had last bought for Levi a moment later.
He noticed that Levi had been eyeing him closely as he turned back to him. "Unfortunately, it's the same one again. Next time we should try one of the ones you bought."
He walked up to Levi and sat down again. "If you like, of course."
Levi looked thoughtfully at the pot of hot water. "Actually, I was just about to return to the quarters to change my clothes and saw you sitting here."
Erwin couldn't hide his disappointment. "Oh, I see. I won't keep you then. Maybe later we could ..." He stopped in surprise when he saw Levi reach for the pot.
"A little round will do. Not that you'll fall asleep again without company. I don't feel like eating, though," Levi explained as he set about preparing the tea.
"Unless you'd rather have your peace and quiet."
Erwin shook his head vigorously. "N-no. No. Please stay. I wanted to discuss something with you anyway."
Levi gave him a skeptical look in response but turned back to the pot. "The fact that it's the same type as the other day isn't a problem. You can vary the flavor just by the soaking time." He looked over at a smaller pot. "And you can even blend it with milk. That can change the flavor, but it doesn't work with all varieties. It works wonderfully with an Earl Grey, but herbal teas tend to flake and ..."
He paused in mid-sentence and looked up at Erwin. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bore you."
"No, it's all good. I like listening to you. You so rarely talk about things you like."
Erwin didn't know if he imagined it, but a slight blush showed on Levi's cheeks as he looked up briefly and finally turned back to his preparation.
He had rarely seen Levi so calm and composed. And that despite the hangover. He really enjoyed just watching him move. And the fact that Levi was still here showed him that he hadn't completely screwed up last night after all. To his chagrin, he still remembered every single word and was already considering whether he'd better apologize. But he also meant what he had said, and he ran his finger over his lips in a quick-witted manner as he recalled the kiss they shared.
Suddenly, Levi turned in his direction, and they looked into each other's eyes for a moment before Erwin quickly lowered his hand and, clearing his throat, looked for a stack of documents. "Like I said. I'm going to need you today, and I wanted to check with you and Keith about how we will do underground recruitment."
"Aren't you going to at least take a break for a moment?" asked Levi in a reproachful tone, at which Erwin paused.
He sighed and reached for one of the documents again when he finally found what he was looking for.
Levi visibly rolled his eyes but remained quiet before asking, "What about Kjell?"
"Huh?"
"You only mentioned Keith and me. What about the boy? I thought he was part of our assignment."
"I have other plans for him - I don't want him down there."
Levi frowned. "Is there a reason?"
"Quite, but I'll explain it to you another time."
"Why not now?"
"Because I wanted to show you this first," Erwin continued, handing Levi the document. He pointed to the first few lines. "I figured we'd start with an announcement first. As you can read here ..."
Erwin paused as he abruptly realized his mistake and gave Levi an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, I forgot for a brief moment that you were still studying."
He tried to withdraw the paper, but Levi just took it out of his hand.
"I saw it while you were asleep," Levi said after a brief pause as he lowered the document again with a sigh.
Erwin frowned.
"I didn't mean to rummage through your things ... it was just ..." he obviously wanted to apologize, but Erwin interrupted him.
"You can already read this?"
"Yes," Levi said in an unusually restrained manner. "I mean, no. Not quite," he corrected himself. He leaned toward Erwin and pointed to a word from the paper. "I don't know what this one means. The syllables don't make sense to me in combination, even if I can read them individually."
"Underground," Erwin said, glancing at the word before looking up again and eyeing Levi incredulously.
"Thank you," Levi replied curtly before skimming the lines again. "So, from what I can see, you're looking to start a real recruiting program down there."
Erwin nodded. Honestly amazed at how quickly Levi was learning.
Levi looked at the sheet of paper again and pointed to the third item. "The distance to the start of training is very short. Do you think we can do it?"
"If you put your mind to it, we can."
"Your confidence honors me," Levi replied in a cynical tone.
"Considering your progress in reading alone, I think so. You are truly amazing."
Levi cleared his throat and seemed visibly embarrassed. "Thanks to you, I've had a lot of time on my hands the last two days, and I've used it to poke around the library a bit."
Erwin showed surprise. "How did that come about?"
"To be honest, learning the dances with Kjell and Hange was pure chaos. So I looked for clearer instructions and found some books about it. However, there were a lot of technical terms included that I didn't know. But since I was there, I also took the opportunity to dig through some other books."
Erwin smiled sheepishly. "I can't stress enough how much I would have liked to have taken this on myself."
"It's okay. It's not part of your duties. Even though I'm sure, it would have taken a fraction of the time with you, at least I could learn something else in the process."
"I still would have liked to do it. Just to spend more time with you." He bit his lower lip as he realized his own words. "I'm sorry. The aftereffects of the alcohol still seem to cloud my mind."
Levi eyed him with a look he couldn't make out before his eyes widened, reaching for the teapot. "Shit, I forgot the tea." With another curse, however, he withdrew his hand, having apparently forgotten that the pot was hot for a moment.
"Did you burn yourself?" asked Erwin, immediately grabbing Levi's hand to look at it. Gently, he ran his finger over the slightly reddened area before realizing that this certainly wouldn't help Levi.
"It's all right," Levi murmured as he too regained his composure before wriggling his hand out of Erwin's grip and grabbing a cloth from his jacket to tie around his hand and pull the jug towards him.
Erwin watched him for a moment as he took out the small vessel of tea leaves and finally poured them both before carefully sliding the cup to Erwin.
"It's a little strong now, but you can tone down the bitter taste, as I said," he explained, reaching for the small milk jug.
He poured some into his tea and took a small sip to taste it.
"Does it taste good?" asked Erwin as he watched him from the side, making a decision simultaneously.
Levi nodded and turned to him. "It's drinkable. Do you want to taste if you ..."
He interrupted himself mid-sentence as Erwin leaned toward him before he could taste the tea on Levi's lips as he pulled him in for a gentle kiss.
"I'm sorry," he murmured into the kiss as he realized his action. He tried to pull away from him again, but Levi held him back by one of the straps of his uniform and pulled him back to kiss him again.
They let go of each other and looked into each other's eyes for a moment before Erwin couldn't hold on any longer and buried his face against Levi's neck while pressing him down onto the cushion. If he had ever had any doubts, he would now put an end to them once and for all.