CHAPTER-18
SEA OF UNCERTAINTY
CHRISTIAN'S POV :-
"She said she's not hungry. She doesn't want to have dinner." Caroline told me while I was sitting at the dining table, waiting for Stella to come down.
I creased my forehead. "What's with you all with not eating when you're angry? Does not eating make your anger go away?"
Caroline thinned her lips. "Did you do something to her this time, again? Something that made her mad at you?"
I gave her two orgasms. Which I didn't know why the fuck would make her mad. But Caroline didn't need to know that. This seemed a bit personal, I think.
"She enjoyed spending time with me. But then she was mad because she enjoyed." I wasn't lying, just kept most of the part to myself.
Caroline cleared her throat and took a deep breathe before she sat down on the chair to my left. This was the first time she had done something like this.
"You do realize, Christian, that kidnapping her and keeping her here forever won't make her love you. Or even want you. You have to give her a choice. You don't like when people control you or tell you what to do or what not to. You like having choices in matters, don't you? Then how can you expect her to just simply accept what you're offering by forgetting everything in her past?"
When she put it that way, I understood, to a point. Stella was mad because she didn't have a choice.
But there was one problem.
"Even if I give her a choice, how do I know that she is going to choose me. I mean, she herself said that she doesn't want to be with a psychopath like me. She would be embarrassed by being seen with me. What do I do if she doesn't choose me?" I asked her.
"Then you let her go. You can't force her to stay here. Someday, you're gonna realize relationships don't work like that. Do you really want to live with her like this? Where she avoids you and doesn't want to see you? You want her like this?" She asked me back.
I blinked. Twice. "No."
"Then how do you want her, Christian?"
The answer came naturally to me. "Happy, safe, here with me."
"And do you think she's happy now?" Caroline asked again. "No," I answered.
She put her hand on mine. Her touch was warm, like mom's touch used to be when she rarely touched me. "Then talk to her. Ask her what she wants. I know you don't want to let her go, but you can at least offer her the things she's looking for in this world. And then, maybe, you wouldn't have to worry whether she'll choose you or not." With a small smile, she squeezed my hand and walked back to the kitchen.
I didn't want to be an option for Stella. I wanted to be her only choice. Caroline said I should give Stella what she wants, and I was willing to do that but I already knew when I'd ask her what she wants, her immediate answer would be to leave this place. To leave me. And I was just physically incapable of doing that. I didn't think after knowing what it was like to have her around, I'd survive if she ever left me.
Sighing, I put my fork down on the table and opened Google on my phone and searched, Can you die if someone left you?
It showed that you could die of a broken heart, but it was also extremely unlikely. It's called broken heart syndrome and it could happen when an extremely emotional or traumatic event triggered a surge of stress hormones. These hormones could put you in short-term heart failure, which could be life-threatening. The chances were even less than 2 percent.
So, what I gathered from this that if I told Stella that I simply couldn't live without her, she was not going to believe me. She might even laugh at me.
I put my phone back.
What was I supposed to do now?
******
STELLA'S POV :-
I stared at the ceiling as I laid on my kidnapper's bed. Daisy was sleeping by my side as I lazily stroked her.
I didn't know what to do. How was I supposed to get out of this place? I didn't even know where I was! Were we even in the same city? Had Christian changed countries? Or even continents? That man was mad enough to do that.
I had no idea if Liam would be looking for me or not. I couldn't tell him Christian's name. If I somehow had, he might be here by now. What would I tell Liam when I get back? That I kissed my kidnapper twice and let him eat me out and give me two orgasms.
I just cheated on him.
And it wasn't even like Christian had forced me into it. I had asked him for it!
What if Liam got mad when I tell him all this? What if he said he didn't want me—
I heard the door unlocking and there he was, my tormentor, still in his fucking suit and with a plate of food in his hand.
Christian locked the door again and as he walked close, his nose scrunched as he made a weird face while looking down at me.
"Is that dog going to sleep with us on the bed as well?" He asked.
I stroked Daisy's back again. "Yes, she's mine. I won't let you take her away."
He blinked. Twice. "I never said I'll take her away. She can sleep with us if you want. I was just worried she'll make our bed dirty."
I didn't fail to notice how everytime he used the word us and our while talking. It was all so easy for him.
I sat up as Christian sat down on the bed with the plate in his hand. "I brought you food."
"I told Caroline I'm not hungry."
He shook his head. "No, you're just angry. You're mad at me that's why you don't want to eat with me. Just eat now. I won't disturb you. We can discuss this later but I don't want you starve or go empty stomach to bed. I know how it feels like to go to sleep without eating and I didn't like that feeling, so I think you won't like it, too."
When I didn't say anything, he continued. "I know, Stella, keeping you here as my captive is wrong on some level but you have to understand. You have to give me a chance. I would have asked you out on a proper date if you already didn't have a boyfriend. I just didn't know what to do. It seemed right at that moment."
I cocked my brow. "You suddenly grew a conscience?"
He blinked again. Twice. "No, Caroline told me to talk to you."
I leaned forward, "And what else did she tell you, Christian?"
"That I should give you a choice. That I should let you go on the outside and wait for you to choose me, and if you don't, I should let you go." He audibly gulped at the last part.
"And are you ready to do that?" I asked him, curious about his answer.
He let out a heavy breath, rubbing his palm on his thighs as he looked down at his shoes. He was nervous. Christian Pierce was nervous. I heard him swallow again but he didn't look at me when he whispered, "I don't know. What if you don't come back?"
"Then you should do what Caroline said. You should let me go."
He shook his head violently. "You don't understand. I am simply incapable of doing that. I know what I feel is not what you feel, Stella, and I might never act like as a normal human being, but I've come to realize that I do can feel emotions. Since you came, I've been hurt, I've been frustrated and I've been angry. Those are the emotions I haven't felt since forever. If I can feel those, I can love you, too. You can make me."
I stroked Daisy's back again as I asked him, "So, that's why you want me here? To bring out the emotions in you?"
He growled which made Daisy jump on the bed. I was definitely getting on his nerves.
"No, Stella, I don't want you here because you bring out the emotions in me. I was good when I was devoid of them. I know you won't believe me when I say I can't live without you, it's that I don't want to live without you."
He suddenly leaned forward and cupped my cheek and my breath hitched at his closeness. "I don't know how to make you understand that I can make you happy," he whispered. "I've been thinking how to do that since I first saw you."
That made me think something. When did he first see me? Was it at the gallery or sometime before.
"When was the first time you saw me?" I asked.
He smiled at my question, a genuine smile.
CHRISTIAN'S POV :-
December 11, 2019
I didn't like shopping. I usually ordered online whatever I wanted but Caroline said I should go out and have some fun. Enjoy shopping. Who the fuck enjoyed shopping? It was the most boring work I'd ever done.
Arnold was with me, but he was on the second floor, buying grocery for Caroline. While I was on the fifth, looking for a decent suit.
I was checking the stock market on my phone when I heard a voice.
"Liam, but it would look so good on you!"
I turned to watch a girl jumping on her toes, holding hands with a man, probably convincing him to buy the violet suit in front of them.
"Babe, I don't wear violet. You know that. Let's get something black."
"But it looks so good." She whined.
And I didn't think it was biologically possible, but my heart dropped a beat when she turned around.
Big eyes, red lips, long brown hair that ended up above her waist and a bright yellow dress. Something struck me when I saw her. My heart rate became fast and my c*ck stirred in my pants.
The latter reaction I was familiar with after seeing a beautiful woman, but the former one, I had no idea. Was I getting sick?
I touched my forehead all the while I watched her grabbing the man's arm who was with her, struggling to convince him to buy that suit.
My body temperature was normal. Then why the fuck was my heart beating so fast?
"It wouldn't kill you to try something different, Liam. Please." She pouted.
I watched the way she was holding the man's hand, and then I looked down at mine. Would she hold my hand like that? Would she make those kind of faces if she were with me?
"Stella, but we weren't even here to buy a suit!"
Stella.
Whispering that name made me smile. Why was I smiling?
I stared at her and I couldn't take my eyes off her no matter how much I wanted to. Who was she? Why was she making me feel this way? Was it even normal to feel like this? Did normal people feel like this?
I had the sudden urge to grab her and make her hold my hand instead. I didn't like that she was holding him. She should be with me.
That girl in the yellow dress.
My Stella.
I didn't hear what she had said when they started walking away. I had to physically restrain myself from following them but I was quick enough to click a photo of her.
I swear she turned around and watched me watching her but gave a dirty look and quickly walked away when I smiled at her.
I bought the suit she wanted that man to buy.
And I made a full plan of finding out who she was, what she did, where she lived. I even planned of her in my house, holding my hand and making those same kind of faces, asking me to do something I wouldn't agree on.
I looked down at my hand again. Her hand would look good in mine. That thought made me smile again.
But then something struck me.
What if she ran away from me like everyone else did? What would she think when I'd tell her what I am? How I am?
Would she hold my hand then?
I quickly shooed that thought away.
Stella Pierce.
Her name would sound perfect with my last name.
That thought made me smile again.
**********
Okay, so we've decided that this story is going to be a little shorter than our last one. We'd complete it within 30 chapters, maximum, because honestly, Christian's character is so hard to write! Sometimes we really regret portraying him this way :/
Aannddd, anything you haven't liked this far? Hmm?
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